Bonus chapter, because a couple of people requested it: the Doctor and Rob's conversation outside the restaurant.
Apparently bewildered but not alarmed by the turn of events, an unimpressed Rob followed the Time Lord out of the restaurant.
"Now you listen to me very, very carefully," said the Doctor, his voice low, words fuelled by barely suppressed anger. "In a minute, you will go back inside and you will apologise to Jackie, and then you will never, ever, say a word to upset her again, do you understand me?"
Rob scoffed back, "I dunno who you think you are - "
"I'm someone you should be very wary of crossing, that's who I am."
Rob rolled his eyes. "You're some hipster loser who has ensnared a pretty, naïve young girl to traipse about the globe after you like some sort of sad groupie, that's who you are," he spat.
The Doctor took a few calming breaths so that he wouldn't grab the other man by the throat. "I'm warning you. If you say one more disparaging word about Rose or her mother, you will be very sorry that you came here this evening."
"For god's sake, I could break you in two," sniffed Rob.
The Doctor arched an eyebrow. "Do you even realise why I'm so angry with you?"
"No, to be honest, I don't. It was just a joke. I never intended - "
"It doesn't matter what you intended. You hurt Jackie's feelings."
"And why do you care so much? Rate you're going, I might well think it's Jackie you're interested in, not Rose."
The Doctor blanched. The very thought made him feel physically sick. She was practically his mother-in-law, for Rassilon's sake. Or, well, she would have been, if Rose and he were actually together. "I can assure you, Robert," he said darkly. "I care about Jackie Tyler very much, but that's because she's Rose's mum. And what hurts her mum, hurts Rose. And what hurts Rose, hurts me. So if you hurt Jackie, even just one more time - "
"What? What will you do?"
"I'd like to chuck you into the nearest supernova, but Rose probably wouldn't let me do something that drastic," he muttered under his breath.
"Look, I appreciate that you're trying to get in Jackie's good books, but you really didn't need to drag me out here to prove yourself or whatever."
"That's not why I did this." The Doctor looked baffled.
"Oh, come off it. You want her approval. About you and Rose. Any fool can see that."
"I'm not sure that I know what you're - "
"Jackie reckons you'll marry Rose within a year," he said smugly.
The Doctor's eyes widened in alarm. "She said that?"
Rob hesitated. "Yeah."
The Doctor sighed in relief when realised Rob was lying; it was obvious he was bluffing just to try and wind him up. "No, she didn't," he said, with confidence. "She doesn't even know that I - " he cut himself off abruptly.
"Know that you what?"
He swallowed thickly. "Um."
"Because I can assure you that no matter how much Rose denied it back in there, she definitely does know that you're bonking her daughter."
"I'm not," he murmured. "And don't say it like that."
"You can barely keep your eyes off her," Rob pointed out.
"Doesn't mean we – 'bonk,' as you so romantically put it." He belatedly realised he'd basically confessed to fancying her to distraction, but there was nothing to be done for that now. He cleared his throat. "Anyway! This wasn't about me and Rose. This was about you, making cheap shots about Jackie Tyler's relationships. Do you realise how hard it has been for her, all these years? Bringing Rose up on her own, after Pete died when she was just a baby? Do you realise how strong she's had to be, how utterly brilliant and capable so as to not fall into the trap of depending on an undeserving man like you, even at her most vulnerable? Do you realise that Rose's compassion and love and desire to help everyone who needs it stems from the frankly excellent way Jackie brought her up, in spite of having little to no money, in spite of the heartbreak of losing her husband so young, in spite of men like you making her feel loved one minute and degraded the next? Do you? Answer me."
Rob shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry. I am, I didn't mean…"
"Right. Well. You'd better tell that to her."
The two men stared at each other for a few moments. Then, cautiously, Rob mumbled, "All right, I'll apologise."
The Doctor let out a long breath. "Thank you."
"One thing though," Rob said next, as they turned to go back inside.
"Jackie told me that you didn't like her. Why the change of tune, eh?"
The Doctor frowned. "Why on earth does she think that I don't like her? I mean, we argue a lot, but that's to be expected. And I assumed that she enjoyed arguing with me."
"Well," Rob shrugged. "She reckons she's standing in the way of you and Rose and that you resent her for it. And vice versa."
"She brought Rose into the world. I owe her…everything."
Rob raised his eyebrows and let out a low whistle.
"What?" demanded the Doctor.
"You really have got it bad for her daughter, haven't you?"
"Shut up," he huffed, and then they made their way through the restaurant to return to their table.