Author's Note:
My internet felt like receding.
Inspiration thought it was impeding.
My Wi-Fi was down!
Instead of a frown,
I wrote this for fun. Happy reading!


More people on RED than on BLU;
The BLU mercs knew not what to do.
They need Engineer!
Alas, do not fear!
The 5th Sniper wanted to come through.

"Yo, pally! Ya went Engineer!"
said a Scout with a grin ear to ear.
"Y'know yer my bro.
"And my health's sorta low,
"So yeah - I need a dispenser here!"

Ignoring his teammates' wide smirks,
Engineer suddenly perked;
"Of course Ah'll deploy!
"It's mah specialist, boy."
And Engineer went right to work.

With a clang and a bzzt and a zorz,
The dispenser was up on all fours.
But he paid his price,
for his healing device
was right outside the respawn's wide doors.

"OH, MERDE!" yelled a critical Spy.
"Thanks to you, all our team will just DIE!"
Demo shouted, "AYE, LAD!"
The two looked very mad.
Engineer felt he wanted to cry.

Then his goggles had stopped getting wetter.
After crying, he felt a bit better.
"Ah'll show them darn fools
"with the help of mah tools!
"Those choosers damn shouldn't be beggars."

Clang, clang - and the sentry was done.
"Well, that was a heckload of fun - "
But before he said that,
at the drop of a hat
it exploded with help of RED guns.

"I TOLDJA YOU SUCK!" yelled BLU Scout.
"DA FUCK IS YO SHIT ALL ABOUT!?"
Engineer growled like hell
For he'd something to tell
So again he continued to shout,

"Demolished dispenser aside,
"who are ya to always decide?
"Ah do what Ah like
"so get lost, y'old tyke!"
the Engineer loudly replied.

Engy went back to Respawn,
to get metal for him to work on -
Then he was aware:
His team was all there!
And his doings seemed quite frowned upon.

They cornered Engy like police,
yelling about faulty sentries.
It was then that he swore
That he would take no more!
"Let me build mah darn buildings in peace!"

He was left alone for his ploy
which was something he failed to enjoy.
"A heckload of fun?
"Just me an' mah gun?"
Then there was this weird poofy noise.

A Sniper'd appeared by his side.
"How do you do?" Engy tried.
The Sniper had snorted,
and strangely retorted
"Hallo moite - er, Oi mean - g'doi."

Engineer thought, A mistake?
'Cause golly, that Sniper sounds fake.
"Say, Sniper, you mong,
"can ya tell me what's wrong?"
And Sniper had a double take.

"Er, uh - no, no, mate, Oi'm swell,"
stuttered Sniper. "Oi'm doin' quite well."
It seemed almost as if
Sniper's face had gone stiff
and somehow he'd lost his piss-smell.

"Well, Ah sure darn am happy yer here."
The Texan near shedded a tear.
"Ever since that dispense,
"Ah've had no other friends
"so thank goodness, Sniper, you appeared."

"You can go to Respawn if you wohnt,"
Sniper said with his wave of a taunt.
"Take your time - by all means!
"Oi'll, er, wotch your machines."
Engy nodded. What a nonchalant.

When he got back with his metal
Engy gasped and he screamed like the devil.
So many sappers!
Surely a hacker!
Why'd Sniper let Spy simply settle?

To conclude this wonderful tale,
F2Pers play to no avail.
They try and they try,
but their ranks are bone dry.
SO GET OFF MY GODDAMN SERVER YOU NOOBS