Author's Note: I thought iGoodbye was really sweet, particularly the last fifteen minutes of it. I didn't full-on cry, but I did start to tear up a little bit during Carly's goodbye scene with Spencer, as well as the scene with Carly and Sam in the elevator.
And I have to admit that I found the Creddie kiss scene to be unbelievably cute, so I decided to build off of that moment. Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: iCarly © Dan Schneider
Freddie's head was still in a whirlwind of emotions as he followed Carly to her room. He felt delirious and shocked and amazed and overwhelmed all at once. He felt like he was imagining all of this, that her lips on his just moments ago had all just been in his head, but no, the proof was right there, in this moment, the way his lips were still tingling and his heart was racing miles a minute.
"S-So, um, just these couple of bags over here, and I'll grab the rest," Carly said as they entered her room. Her back was to him, but the crack in her voice caused him to slow down in his tracks as the reality of the situation started to sink in again. She was leaving. For how long, none of them knew, but she was leaving in less than five minutes, and he probably wouldn't see her again for a few months, at least.
The thought caused a weird feeling to bubble in his chest. It was sharp and swift, like a pull on his heart, and suddenly he had to fight back a lump that was thickening inside his throat.
"Carly," Freddie found himself saying, surprised to hear his own voice sounding so choked-up. He cleared his throat to try to collect himself, but it all went out the window when Carly turned around to face him. Her eyes were wide and watery, and seeing her like that tore a hole in his heart, bringing new emotions to the surface. He smiled a broken smile, still forcing back the tears. "I-I, uh…" He hesitated a moment, jamming his palms into his pockets. "I just wanna say that I…well, that you…I-I mean, um…what I'm trying to say is that…I'm really gonna…miss…"
He trailed off as Carly gently touched his arm. The contact was so soft and affectionate that it almost made him forget everything, but he still knew, and he only smiled tighter, trying so hard to put on a brave face.
Then Carly started leaning towards him, and Freddie was unable to stop a quivering breath from escaping him as her head came down to rest against the corner of his chest. Her arms gingerly draped over his neck, her fingers clasping together. Freddie didn't remove his hands from his pockets right away, or even move at all, because now his heart was starting to hurt, and the tears were threatening to spill from his eyes.
And out of nowhere, he felt Carly's chest shudder against his own, and at that, he finally broke, and he couldn't stop the tears as they unleashed from his eyes. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and threaded his arms through hers, hugging her to him. He closed his eyes and savored her warmth, breathing in the clean scent of her hair. He never truly thought that this would happen, that the day would come where he'd have to say goodbye to her. He'd always imagined graduating with her, the two of them wearing bright smiles as they posed for pictures in their black caps and gowns.
He'd imagined spending the summer together, all of them going to the beach, with Sam pouring sand on his head like she used to do when they were kids, and Carly chastising Sam before grabbing a towel to help Freddie shake the sand out of his hair. He'd imagined himself confessing his feelings to Carly for the umpteenth time, of her smiling and letting him down gently, and he'd smile back and nod in understanding as his heart twitched with a familiar pain.
Now, he'd give anything to relive every single one of those memories. He'd give anything to hold onto this particular moment forever.
The sound of Carly sniffling brought reality crashing down again. He could feel her hold on him loosening as her arms slipped off of his shoulders until she pulled away from him, revealing her glassy eyes. She smiled sheepishly and brought up her hand, running her fingers over her wet cheek.
"I seriously didn't realize how hard this was gonna be," Carly confessed, her voice sharp with all of the intense emotions she must've been feeling. Freddie wanted to smile at her, to maybe say something comforting that would make her feel better, but he couldn't seem to find the strength to do anything. He couldn't even control his ragged breathing, much less the sharp pulsating beat coming from his heart.
He wasn't ready to say goodbye.
And now, as Carly continued to quietly compose herself by wiping away the tears from her eyes, Freddie felt something awaken inside him. Warmth spiked through him and prickled his veins, making him feel something…different. He didn't know what it was exactly, but it sort of felt like anger. Anger knowing that, after all of these years of pining for her, after his desperate attempts at trying to impress her, after he even let her go the first time when she thought she was in love with him, now she finally reciprocated the feelings for real this time, and they couldn't even date because she was leaving.
With that new found anger fueling him, Freddie grabbed her by the waist again, and she looked shocked for a brief moment before he leaned forward and kissed her. There was no hesitation or resistance from her. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back with both passion and desperation, like her life depended on it.
And then he started shuffling his feet to her bed, and she followed his lead as they fell against the soft spring of her mattress. They were on their sides, full-on making out on her bed, and now he couldn't think of anything at all, except the way she tasted, like sweet vanilla frosting with a touch of salt from the crunchy tortilla of the spaghetti tacos they'd all eaten earlier. He choked out a moan as her hands somehow snaked over his chest, pulling at his nice shirt. He ran his fingers through her silky hair and felt his senses screaming at him from all of these overwhelming sensations and emotions.
And just as their legs started to tangle together, and their breaths, hard and ragged, panted out warmly against each other's necks, the passionate moment was shattered as a faint, sharp sound of Carly's name rang out from downstairs. It was her dad.
They broke apart abruptly, and each of them panted, their cheeks flushed and their hair a mess. Carly's eyes were dark and half-lidded as she reached up and brushed aside a long strand of her hair away from her face. She calmly sat up and ran both of her hands over her hair, smoothing it out.
Freddie continued lying there, though, breathing in and out harshly as his head spun in circles all over again. He closed his eyes and let out a longer breath, and as he opened them again, he saw Carly looking down at him. He swallowed, closing his mouth, as he stared up at her, a solemn look in her eyes. A small, sad smile cricked over her beautiful pink lips.
Finally, he sat up as well, his hand brushing over the top of her thigh. He tensed at this accidental touch, and his eyebrows shot up as he looked down at his own hand. He was about to let go, when her hand slid over, touching his. She squeezed the back of his hand against her palm, her fingers curling over his hand.
They slowly looked up at one another again, and now, with this subtle twinkle in her eye, and a shy half-smile on his face, the sadness about her leaving seemed to replace itself with a new sadness. It was a sadness knowing that, in spite of their strong friendship and this new found romance, they wouldn't be able to date. She'd be in the beautiful city of Florence, and eventually, they both knew, she was going to meet someone.
And Freddie could tell that that was exactly what Carly was feeling the most guilty about, the fact that they were never given a real chance. Maybe they wouldn't have worked out, anyway. Maybe whatever spark they had between them would've died out, but at the very least, they would've been left with this new found appreciation for one another.
But things didn't always work out like that. All they had was right now. This moment. Each other.
"Carly! We really have to get going, sweetheart!" Colonel Shay called from downstairs.
Carly looked down at their hands. With one last comforting squeeze, she finally let go, and she stood up to grab her things. Freddie watched her for a moment as she picked up one of her bags, draping the strap over her shoulder. She clutched the handle of another suitcase and pulled it towards her, and then, she looked at Freddie, one last lingering look.
She smiled warmly.
He smiled back.
And finally, he stood up as well. He reached for the rest of her suitcases that were piled on top of one another and followed her lead as she headed for the door, and it was as they were about to walk down the stairs that he suddenly realized he had one more thing he wanted to do before they officially said their goodbyes.
"Hey, Carly," Freddie said, and Carly stopped just as she was about to pick up her suitcase and lug it down the stairs. She turned to face him, her eyes slightly widened, in either fear or anticipation, he wasn't sure. Still, the surprised look on her face caused him to grin inexplicably, and he didn't even try to make it go away, because he knew it was his heart telling him to smile.
Then, with all the love he had for her, he placed a hand on top of her shoulder and started leaning in towards her, his eyes falling shut. Carly's own eyes briefly fluttered closed as Freddie placed a gentle kiss against her cheek. When he pulled back, he caught her smiling, a little dreamily, and his own smile widened, because he finally realized that this really wasn't goodbye.
They'd find their way back someday.