Hey! Sorry I have been super busy at the moment with college work and stuff. Also thanks for the comments on my now...ex ;) he was being a stress head and I can't deal with stress! lol
Anyway hope you like this chapter, and I always welcome reviews :)
Thank you for any I have received, and BIG thanks to Credete for proofreading this for me :D
"How many times am I going to have to bandage you up," Doctor Chakwas snapped in concern, Amber's lip quirked in amusement as the older woman put an anti-bacterial salve over the bullet wound. The wound itself had been mostly dealt with by Garrus, once Amber had calmed down enough to let him help. There was still however a small hole, as she had left the bullet in for too long for medi-gel to effectively close off the wound completely. "Dodge next time Commander." Doctor Chakwas murmured again while finishing off the bandage. Amber rolled her shoulder once she was done and jumped off the medical bay's bed with a small thud.
"Thanks Doc, and I'll try." Amber uttered with humour in her voice. Chakwas rolled her eyes as she began putting away her equipment,
"That's what you told me last time." She whispered. Amber scoffed and shook her head before thanking her again and walking out of the medical bay. She went straight to her quarters and began to dress in her Alliance standard issue nightwear, and as soon as she was ready she collapsed on her bed. She was so emotionally exhausted dreams of her past didn't plague her, and instead blissful sleep was all she was greeted by. Unfortunately for her, the insistent beeping of her alarm woke her too soon, with a relaxed hum she rolled over and hit the 'Snooze' button on the alarm. She pulled herself to sit but her body refused. With a sigh she decided a few more minutes wouldn't hurt and allowed her eyelids to drift shut again.
The smell of the bland food drifted to her nose accompanied by the sound of someone clearing their throat. She shot up with wide eyes straight away and regretted it when the movement caused a slight pain to go through her tender shoulder. With a groan she squeezed her eyes tight and flipped her legs over the edge of her bed, before leaving her elbows on her legs and rubbing her face tiredly.
"Did you have enough beauty sleep Commander?" Garrus's mocking tone came to her ears. Amber realised then that someone was in her quarters and looked up at him in bewilderment. She looked to the food on the desk and drew her brows together in confusion.
"Why did you bring me food-" she stopped when she glanced at her clock, and her eyes widened and she gasped, "No, no, please tell me this is wrong and it is not eight o'clock." She hurriedly said while standing and grabbing fresh gear clothes.
"No its right, people were wondering why you weren't at breakfast, so they recruited me to bring you some… and check what was wrong." He informed her while crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against her desk. Amber looked up at him and huffed with exasperation, she ran her fingers through her black hair and almost growled when she noticed she had left it down. She looked back up at Garrus who was regarding her hair with a thoughtful expression and she cocked an eyebrow up at him.
"What?" She asked while moving to the food he was leaning on, she smiled brightly when she saw her usual was there; eggs on toast with her cup of tea. She pulled out her chair and took a bite out of her toast before looking back up at him.
"I just find it odd seeing you with your… hair… down." He uttered awkwardly. Amber found it slightly amusing and shook her head before taking a sip of her tea.
"I don't often have it down, I might get it all cut off… it's rather annoying," she uttered as she took another bite of toast before looking back at him. "Thanks for this, I won't allow it to happen again." She exclaimed while nodding towards her food. Garrus sighed heavily next to her causing her to meet his blue eyes.
"You over sleep once, in how long? And the amount of stress you're under at the moment… no one's surprised you need a little break." He stated while pushing off her desk and facing her. Amber shook her head at him and gave him a serious look.
"I can't get sloppy Garrus, this mission is too important-"
"No, I'm not going to listen to you get all serious about over sleeping. Now just finish your food, Joker says we will be at Noveria in about four hours." He mumbled while turning to her door, Amber chuckled and turned back to her food.
"Yes sir, Vakarian sir…" Amber whisper quietly, she heard a laugh from Garrus and looked up to see him staring at her with a smirk, her face heated up as she realised he had heard.
"Better hearing…" he uttered while tapping the side of his head. Amber cleared her throat in embarrassment and scratched the back of her hand, "And… don't cut your hair, it sounds… painful." He finally said while departing her quarters, Amber bit her lip and snickered to herself before finishing off her meal, not noticing the small smile that lingered on her lips. Once she was done she quickly got dressed, pulling her long black hair into a strict bun, and tucking Samson's ring and her dog tags under her top. As she departed she quickly made her way to the medical bay for Chakwas to check up on her shoulder, when she entered she found the older woman already waiting for her.
"Sorry I'm late Doc… I over slept." She informed her while hopping onto one of the beds; Chakwas raised her eyebrows in surprise and made a startled noise in the back of her throat.
"You, over sleeping, why don't I believe you?" She jested with a warm smile. Amber chuckled while she took off her top so there was access to her wound.
"I know, I know… very funny." She murmured. Chakwas quickly went to work and when she was done took a step back to regard Amber.
"Have you had any memories while using your biotics?" She questioned as usual, Amber nodded with a frustrated huff.
"Yes." She simply stated while sliding off the bed, Chakwas frowned at her and gave her a thoughtful expression before something crossed over her features.
"I want you to begin meditating-"
"I already do that-"
"I know… and don't interrupt me," Chakwas snapped, Amber bit down on her tongue to stop from laughing and listened as the other woman carried on, "I want you to begin mediating with someone who can calm you down." She uttered. Amber's brows knitted together in thought and she cocked her head.
"How will that help?" She queried, Chakwas shrugged and smiled half-heartedly at her.
"It might not, I don't see any harm in trying…. maybe when you start to get the memories, they can help repress them, it's worth a shot." She mumbled, Amber pursed her lips in agreement before thanking Chakwas and departing.
"You know Garrus, I don't see how these upgrades will help make the ride smoother." Tali breathed out while idly checking her calculations again. Garrus chuckled as he increased the suspension on the final wheel of the Mako.
"I've checked, no matter how rough it gets… it should work, in theory." He replied while pulling himself out from under the Mako to look up at Tali who had come down to help him with his work.
"In theory." Tali drawled out with humour, Garrus's mandibles opened slightly in a smirk as he pulled himself to stand and let her check his work with her omnitool. As she was doing so the smell of flowers, and a hint of spice hit him and his smirk widened into a bright smile.
"Commander, do you need me for something?" He asked while turning to see Shepard approaching them, she sent him a polite smile before turning to Tali.
"I would like to talk to you Garrus, if you don't mind," she said while nodding her head towards the gym, if it was possible Garrus's smile grew larger at the possibility of sparring again with his friend. He turned to Tali before speaking.
"Do the upgrades look good?" He asked, Tali closed down her omnitool and turned to him with a heavy sigh.
"Yes… but like I said, I don't think it will work with a certain someone's driving." She muttered while winking at Shepard and walking off. Garrus chuckled before turning back to a bewildered Shepard.
"Did... did Tali just wink at me?" She murmured, Garrus snorted at her and shook his head while making his way to the gym.
"Yes, it's not weird among friends Shepard." He informed her, well aware of how she had kept herself emotionally away from everyone. When they entered the gym he turned to her and cocked his head, "So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Shepard rung her hands slightly in what seemed like nerves, and Garrus raised his brow plates up at the action.
"Right…. well, um, do you know why I don't use my biotics a lot?" She started not meeting his gaze, Garrus frowned at that but shook his head.
"No, I don't." He simply answered as Shepard moved to the bench and sat down, every move she made was tense and Garrus began to worry.
"I don't use them a lot because they trigger memories… most of the time unpleasant." She mumbled while pinching the bridge of her nose, Garrus made his way over to her and sat down before leaning forward on his knees and resting his elbows on his thighs.
"Do you know why they trigger memories?" He asked quietly. Shepard sighed before nodding and looking up at the door, as if remembering something,
"Before I joined the Alliance I ran with a gang called the Tenth Street Reds, I had a small biotic ability… so when they wanted to test to see if this new drug increased biotics… I volunteered." She informed him, Garrus's eyes widened and he regarded her incredulously.
"Why would you do that?" He breathed out, and Shepard looked to him with haunted eyes and he wondered what had put it there.
"I was seven when I joined them, and they used me to steal small stuff for them… they offered me protection, food, and a place to stay. I didn't want to lose that when they asked me to test this new product." She stated.
"How old were you?" Garrus questioned again, Shepard looked away before rubbing circles on her temples with exasperation.
"I was fifteen… and the stuff they gave me had... consequences," she mumbled. Garrus was about to ask what but she seemed to sense him, "Nightmares, pain, fits… unstable biotics, which they liked… a lot. They began to see me as a weapon instead of a petty thief, so I was put to other tasks." She whispered out the last bit as a look of shame crossed over her usually strong features. Garrus's instinct was to put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and gave him a small sad smile before looking back away, "But back to your original question, Doctor Chakwas believes memories are triggered by my biotics, because I associate my biotics with bad things… nothing POSITIVE happened when my biotics were increasing, only pain… and the consequence of having such strong powers." She closed her eyes tightly as they fell into a heavy silence, without noticing Garrus traced a circle on her shoulder with one of his talons while his mind raced over what he just learned. If they thought of her as a weapon, was she used as one? He thought to himself while dread curdled in his stomach.
"Shepard…" He uttered quietly to get her attention. Slowly, very slowly she seemed to relax, Garrus feeling her muscles twitching as she began breathing in deeply. After a while she looked up at with calm eyes. She smiled at him thankfully and he found himself mesmerised by her sparkling green eyes.
"Sorry, and thank you for listening," she reached up to his on her shoulder and squeezed it before abruptly standing and turning to him, looking somewhat uncomfortable again. "But this isn't the reason why I came, I wanted your help with meditation," she stated. Garrus made a startled sound in the back of his throat and leaned on the bench to stare up at her.
"Why would you want that... Kaidan or Liara would be better." Shepard huffed at him and glared in slight annoyance,
"I still haven't spoken to Kaidan since I put him in his place." She snapped while crossing her arms over her chest in a defensive position. Garrus chuckled at her behaviour before standing and shaking his head.
"I would say you neutered him." He uttered under his breath, Shepard heard as her mouth fell agape in an amusing 'o' shape. She ignored his statement however and carried on.
"And Liara isn't really in a good place at the moment… she seems to be getting stressed out the closer we come to finding her mother." She informed him, Garrus nodded while rubbing the back of his neck, noticing how Liara's behaviour seemed to be changing to be more agitated. With a small smile he turned to the mats and pointed to them.
"Fine, show me how I can help." He ordered, and Shepard gave him a dazzling smile before quickly moving over to said mats and sitting down cross-legged. He followed and sat down in front of her, not really knowing what to do, luckily for him she began to ease his worry.
"I'm going to try using my biotics, and If I get a memory… I need you to help me." She mumbled while looking over to the small boxing glove in the corner. Garrus watched with great interest as a wave of blue began to shimmer over her body, and the glove began to slowly move. He became entranced, but was shortly brought out of it when Shepard made a horribly desperate noise and she snapped her eyes shut. He moved quickly over to her and grabbed her hands.
"Shepard… It's just a memory okay?" He hurriedly said, her eyes snapped wide open before searching his for a while and finally finding something that calmed her. She let out a shaky breath and slowly nodded.
"Yeah, yeah… I'm f-fine." She stuttered. Garrus frowned at her and gently put her hands back down and sat opposite her again.
"We're not doing that again." He growled out, to his surprise it held more heat than it was meant to and he and Shepard both stared with wide eyes at each other. After a moment he cleared his throat and stood up, "Why don't we try something else?" He said more lightly. Shepard regarded him with concerned curiosity before gracefully standing and rubbing her chin.
"What have you got in mind?" She queried while watching him move over to the glove she had been moving. He picked it up and turned to her.
"I'm going to throw this and you push it." He simply replied while standing a few feet away from her, she frowned at him and shook her head.
"I won't be able to do that without the memories-" with that Garrus interrupted her.
"I watched a film once about… something called Jedi's, you remind me of them." He uttered while throwing the glove, Shepard was shocked by his statement and his sudden movement that without thinking about it, pushed the glove thrown for her face away with her biotics. After a moment of her just standing there staring at Garrus she gave him the happiest smile he had ever seen her give anyone.
"It worked." She chuckled.
Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it. Reviews always welcomed :) Xx