Disclaimer: I don't own Magic Knight Rayearth, obviously, if I did I wouldn't need to write fanfictions I would probably just make the actual thing. It belongs to CLAMP for those of you who don't know, and I'm not going to drone on about rights for those of you who do. The three songs below: Song for Eric, Black Swan, and Bliss are all copyright Tori Amos, Epic Records etc. etc. etc. I am not the genius behind either Rayearth or the featured music, though I wish I was.
*Now! I said I was going to do this a long time ago! Probably when I wrote my first fanfiction ever! I said I was going to do an Umi/Ascot fic for the following reasons:Just because I like them together To prove to all you Umi/Ascot fans that I really don't hate him, because he's really cute Because some of you have suffered through my Umi/Clef fics and others have asked me to do an Umi/Ascot
I recently decided that I really like writing song fics and I really love Tori and so this is how I'm combining the two. I hope you enjoy! ^.^*
Chapter One: Song for Eric
She sighed and looked down at what she was doing. She was writing, again, a poem this time, for someone that would never read it.
"Had a northern lad
Well not exactly hadHe moved like the sunset" "He don't show much these days"
She finished and stood; she walked out of the room and looked for someone to talk to but there was no one around. Fuu was in the gardens with Ferio, Hikaru was sword fighting with Lantis.
She was eighteen, ready for college, and they were in Cephiro on one of their regular visits. The others around didn't see the sorrow in her face, in her every expression. She looked around the palace for him, but couldn't find him anywhere. Why wasn't he here? What was wrong? Why wasn't he coming around her anymore?
She tried to tell herself that it wasn't anything, that he did still want to be friends. She had thought at one time that he might return her feelings, that cute blush that crept up his cheeks when he spoke to her, and the way he hid his eyes, his true feelings. She had thought that they had something, but then he had been shying from her. Did he know? Did he know what she felt for him and shied away because of it?
She cursed herself for the hundredth time for pushing him away.
I wait all day for my sailor
She gently closed the notebook and looked behind her. He stood in her doorway, and a gasp escaped her throat, "Ascot you scared me," she told him softly.
"Gomen," he mumbled and looked down, "I didn't make lunch."
"I know," she said quietly, "Hey it's okay though, not many people did."
"I'm sure it was great," but he sounded less than enthusiastic. She had been cooking for a few people today, but a few weren't there. Hikaru and Fuu of course were, but Ascot was missing.
"Where were you?" she inquired as she tucked the notebook away again.
"Well…" he wasn't sure what to tell her, "One of my friends was sick and…"
"No need to explain," she knew he was lying.
"Are you angry?" he asked softly.
"No," she replied quickly, "Not at all, it wasn't a big deal."
But he knew it was, and he cursed himself for not being there. He just didn't know how to act around her anymore, he never had but now…everything had changed, deepened, somehow, slowly, but he noticed it.
"You can make it up to me by going on a ride with me," she offered cheerily.
"Gomen again, but I-I can't, I just came to apologize. Guru Clef and Persea told me it was a wonderful meal," he wouldn't look at her. Even though he had shed his hat and cut his bangs slightly he still wouldn't meet her eyes.
"Oh," she said softly.
"I'll let you go then," he turned, "Ja."
"Ja," she whispered as he left and shut her door gently.
And sometimes he comes
See you over hill and dale
Riding on the wind I see
She walked out to the stables and tacked a white gelding up. She stroked him gently with a comb and tried to keep the tears in. He had to know, he had to know what he was doing to her. What was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he just accept her? Then the thought crossed her mind that there might be someone else. She prayed there wasn't as she fastened the girth and then gently removed the halter and pulled on the bridle.You know me
You know me like the nightingale
He watched her from the stable door, and sighed heavily, trying to get her to turn around without speaking. He wanted to tell her so badly, but he was afraid that she would laugh and shatter him. He had changed for her, changed his body and the way he acted, and she seemed to be accepting, but not how he had expected her to be. She had saved his life, saved him from Zagato so long ago, and now her very presence gave him chills.
He looked at her pained expression and wondered what she was thinking about to make her look like that, so deep in thought, just turn around…"Oh fair maiden-
He watched her move with grace and elegance and smiled slightly. If he hadn't been so stupid he could be laughing with her, tacking up a horse beside her, being close to her. He was an idiot. But then, would he give himself away if he spent too much time with her? Would she be okay with that? Would she stray from him? From Cephiro? Could they still be friends? He couldn't stand to lose the little precious time they did spend together.I see you standing there"
She put her head in the horses mane, breathing in the feeling of freedom, and then mounted and clicked it into a trot. She went out the other side of the stable, not even noticing him behind her, watching.
She whispered to the horse about how much she loved it, and how much she loved him, and how he would never feel the same.
"Ascot," the name barely escaped her.
Every night she sat alone in bed and shivered, and wondered what it would feel like if he knocked on her door and came in, just for awhile, just stayed for a bit, to talk, to hold hands, to…
She shook her head and tried to force away the dreams that raised her hopes. She would go back to the palace expecting to find him there waiting for her, and telling her what she wanted to hear, and it would never happen in a thousand years. She forced it all away.Will you hold me
For just a fair time
Birds chirped as she rode through the woods, and nearby a stream babbled merrily, joining in the song, the song of the forest. She smiled blissfully and her thoughts wondered back to how it could be. If he was riding beside her, they could stop near the stream and listen to the sounds, and enjoy the approaching night together. This time she lets the thoughts come because they gave her joy and comfort.The tune is playing In the fair night
The moon rose, and she knew she had to get back. They would be worried about her if she wasn't back soon. She used her feet to urge the horse into a gallop. She quickly un-tacked and walked inside to find everyone just sitting down to dinner.
"Hi," she was a bit flustered from the run, "Sorry I was late."
"No problem," Fuu grinned at her, "You normally are."
She glared and sat with them. Occasionally she stole glances across the table, and once she met his eyes and quickly looked down. She wondered if her eyes betrayed everything. He slowly looked back to his food, and she thought she might see pain in those emerald green eyes.
It was that night and those eyes that she would dream of. She remembered every feature, every movement, and she dreamt of those strong arms around her, those gorgeous eyes looking down at her. She remembered the next morning that he spoke to her in the dream though she couldn't remember what was said. All she knew was that it was gorgeous, and the emotion spoke for itself.I see you in my dreams
The last part of the dream was just him smiling down at her, with those gorgeous green eyes that used to be hidden but were now exposed. The eyes that showed her the true him, the one that longed to be free. She wished he would give her a chance to bring it out. She woke in the middle of the night, sweating and shaking and needing to be loved and thought about beautiful green eyes.Fair boy
Your eyes haunt me
~Lyrics by Tori Amos
*The first few lyrics, "Had a northern lad well not exactly had…" that was from a song called Northern Lad on an album called From the Choirgirl Hotel, it fit so I threw it in there. This is my first Umi/Ascot fic and I don't really like the way it's turning out so far. I'm not really good at this type of thing, I'm normally better at action and that, so sorry. Reviews are always greatly appreciated, bad good neutral, corrective criticism, flames, it's all helpful in its own way. In case you didn't know this is going to be three songs, three chapters, it's a magic number.*