AN: I had to get this out of my head, so I wrote it down as quickly as possible. I apologize for any resulting typos, but I still hope you enjoy. Sierra and Victor are one of my favorite couples =)


I'm not always my best.

I try to be my best during the day. I exercise. I paint. I do what I'm told.

I do all these things, but it's not enough. When I exercise, I'm okay. When I paint I'm sad. When I do what I'm told, I hurt.

At night, I cannot try to be my best. At night sadness and pain is everywhere. At night, I am alone with me.

I try to be my best.


She tries to be her best.

She smiles a lot. Her paintings are pretty. She is pretty. She makes me feel good.

I know she is sad. I try to help her be her best. I help take the bad paint. I always save her a seat. I wait for her at bedtime.

At night she cries. At night she is alone. I can't help her be her best at night.

I want her to be her best.


I'm not the best person in the world right now.

In fact, I may be the worst. I've just killed Nolan, and while yes, he drugged me, and raped me, and he one hundred percent deserved it, I'm not sure I can live with myself for doing it. I mean, I never meant to imply I was a saint at any point in my life, but I'm better than this.

There's no way I can deal with this alone – but then, I'm not alone. I love Victor, and he loves me.

Maybe I'm not the best person in the world, but at least I can be happy.


Sierra is the best. She can't see it, but she is the best.

I could wait for her forever.


Victor was there after my treatment. Victor is always there. Victor helps me be my best.

I hope he's here forever.

I'd love any feedback you have!