Disclaimer: I do not own Hitchhiker's Guide, this was simply an English project from last year whose aim was to sound like a continuation of the story using the authors techniques. I thought it was time to publish it.



"Hey, Zaphod!" Ford called. He was pacing back and forth across the bridge.




"Murggleez…Five more minutes Senator Rasclin…" Zaphod grumbled.

"Marvin, wake Zaphod up, would you?" for said, rather than asked.

Marvin trudged over to Zaphod's side, "Oh, what's the use? If I want to wallow – no one cares. If I want to talk about the pointlessness of it all – people shoot at me. So why would anyone wake up on account of me…?"

"Well, there was that one ship. You talked to it and…well okay I see your point since it… well, since it sort of…committed suicide. But that's not the point –"

"Because there is no point."

"I'm just trying to make you feel better you morbid robot."

"Well you're doing a fantastic job…"

"Oh, just wake him up."

"Fine. Nobody cares…nobody cares…Here I am – brain the size of a planet – and I'm – "

"Just do it already!"

Once next to Zaphod's left head's left ear, Marvin moaned, "Wake up! Stop wasting away your own personal miserable existence sleeping. You have a purpose…probably. I mean, sicne there's no point to anything, one could argue that –"

"I'm up, I'm up!" Zaphod's left head spluttered. His right head snored on.

"Are you sure?" smirked Ford, "I could always let Marvin, here, pontificate a bit more for you…"

With that, both heads were up. "NO! I mean – no. I'm awake. Both heads and everything. Now – what do you want at this hour?"

"Zaphod, it's barely after dinner."

"That's what I said. So…"

"I'm so glad you asked! I want to know how you and Trillian met. And since Arthur and Trillian aren't being helpful –"


"Something to do with Arthur's most recent panic attack – which he should never, ever have – since he has no home-world to speak of…you know, I don't think he has the hitchhiking spirit, but what can you do, eh? And Trillian's busy trying to calm him down with what he's calling the "worst non-tea in the known Universe". Which is simply absurd because –"

Zaphod just glared. "No. I mean, why do you care how we met?"

"Well, if Trillian's gonna be my cousin-in-law –"

"Is there even such a thing?" Arthur asked.

"Is Earthman for real?" Zaphod asked Ford.

"Oi! I'll have you know I am most certainly real! Utterly mind-boggled at the whole turn of events and quite probably having a mental-emotional breakdown in the process – seriously, what's your therapist's number? – but I am 99.999% real at least."

Zaphod simply blinked his response. Some sort of new Morse Code. It's probably just a fad.

Ford grabbed Zaphod by the scruff of his left neck. "Come on! Arthur, we'll be in the Sens-O-Tape viewing complex. Why don't you keep Marvin company?"

"Wait, but…I guess it's just you and me Marvin. You and me."


"Say, do you know how to make a truly great cup of tea?"

On this note, Marvin simply prepared his self-shutdown. "Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and all he wants is a cup of tea. You wanna know why the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything is 42? Well I'll tell you. It's –"

He shut off completely.

Author's Note: Reviews please :)