France couldn't really understand why their every adventure started with a party. He had a tiny suspicion alcohol played a major role but he never remembered enough the following day to actually blame it. It was impossible, though, that a few drinks could led to such compromising situations as… well, maybe he shouldn't get too much in detail.
France supposed that the biggest part in everything played his best friends' quite dubious intelligence, not that he was implying they were stupid, of course. Just mentally unstable.
"Like you are any better, git." England exclaimed. France shot him a look.
As he was saying, his friends had quite the creative ideas, that mixed with the alcohol, led them most of the time trying to call Germany or Italy (who would in turn call Germany) to get them out of prison. France had to admit though that they had fun, so he didn't find anything in particular against what they were going to propose next.
It all started with him (how ironic) taking a sip of champagne and blurting out how much of an idiot England was.
"He is just jealous of my fabulous looks, of course." He exclaimed, "That's why he is such a jerk, because he was born with a pair of caterpillars in place of his eyebrows!"
Spain giggled, nodded even and gulped down some wine.
"I think-!" Prussia hiccupped, laughing then at his own idea, "I think!" he repeated again and before France could make a sarcastic remark at that, he continued: "I think you keep complaining about him because no matter how much you try you can't get into his pants!"
"You didn't?" Spain said, suddenly curious, his eyes a little watery by all the alcohol in his system. "I thought you two…"
"Oh, please!" Prussia slurred, "Do you think France would complain so much about him if he had bed him at least once?"
"As if I want to."
"Oh, please!" Prussia exclaimed again, pointing his half-finished bottle of beer at him, "You are just pissed off that you can get anyone but him!"
"I-!" France exclaimed, ready to retort, but Spain suddenly cut him, turning to Prussia again.
"Are you sure you are talking about France?" Spain asked, "It's not like you are in a better position to preach."
"What are you talking about?" Prussia said, suddenly on the defensive. "If I had my eyes on England-!" he added, "-he would have begged me to have my wicked way with him eons now!"
"You think England is that easy?" France exclaimed, disbelieving. Prussia snickered.
"You just don't know what buttons to push, that's why." Prussia bragged. "While I-!"
"I don't think you can do a good…" Spain hiccupped, "… good job with England considering you couldn't get in bed with all of the nations you used to have your eyes on."
Prussia snorted, his cheeks turning slightly red.
"Spain, I did-!"
"Not that I know of, no." Spain continued, totally unfazed by Prussia's slightly more aggressive attitude. He then raised his hand and touched his index finger: "Austria, for example, and then Elizabeta… but we both know you had no chance with her…"
"Austria!" France exclaimed, deciding to get rid of the glass and drink his alcohol straight from the bottle instead. "Really?"
"It was just a phase!"
"And now that strange guy with that name…" Spain kept rambling on, "… who is he again?"
"No!" France grin was huge, "Canada?"
"Shut up." Prussia gritted his teeth.
"I raised him." France said, "It shouldn't be that difficult."
"Are you implying you are an easy guy?" Prussia exclaimed, laughing and thinking he got back at France with that. France just shrugged.
"At least I have fun."
Prussia sniffed and gulped down the rest of the beer.
"…and didn't you have a thing for Poland too once-!" Spain kept saying when suddenly a hand shut him up.
"As if you are any better!" Prussia exclaimed while Spain tried to shove his hand away. "Should I remind you, you are pinning after one of the most difficult nations of the world?"
"Romano is not that difficult!"
"Hah!" Prussia and France laughed, empty bottles of alcohol rolling down on the floor.
"He just has commitment issues." Spain tried to add.
"I would solve those issues in no time." France said, raising a fine eyebrow suggestively.
"Romano would never…!" Spain exclaimed.
"Oh, trust me. I'm sure he won't mind."
"Really now?" Prussia was interested. "So you are saying Romano is easier than England? I want to see that."
"Shut up!" Spain suddenly exclaimed, turning to look at Prussia, "Romano is just a little stubborn. He is surely going to ask me out one day! You should ask yourself why… you… well, the guy you like now… doesn't give it to you!"
"You think he would prefer to go out with you rather than me?" Prussia was shocked.
"I think he would prefer to go out with anybody at this point." France snickered.
"Oh!" Prussia raised his eyebrows. "That's a good one! Well, I bet England will accept a date with me before you can arrange one with "stubborn" Romano here!", he said, voice sarcastic and slurred.
"Consider yourself a loser already." France said. "Because I bet that even Spain will manage to go out with Canada…" he ignored the 'who?' uttered from the Spaniard, "… quicker than you will ever manage to make England beg!"
"I think so too." Spain said, smiling then at France, "But don't come crying to me when Romano beats the hell out of you."
"We'll see, darling." France said and drank the last gulp of his champagne. "We bet a date and they have to be the ones asking you!" he added, laughing a little, "Oh, Prussia. You are going to have so much fun."
"Trust me, I will." Prussia said, standing up and shacking France's and Spain's hands. "And Spain… good luck with Canada. I know you'll realize you are the one with a problem after this."
"Said the man with a big ego." Spain muttered and then passed out on the table.