KIMAHRI NO GET INSULTED! KIMAHRI GET REVENGE!
Note: I read a little rant about how Kimahri doesn't get most fanfics based on him, I have noticed. I forgot who wrote it, but when I find out. I also read a story where Vivi killed the FFIX cast. So, now Kimahi kills the FFX cast. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!...well, almost..
AHEM! Now for that Disclaimer you all love: I do not own Kimarhi or anyone from FFX. I do not own FFX at all. I own nothing. Yet.
Kimahri no like stupid idiots he travel with. There was that blonde boy who whine like girl and no shut up. There is annoying summoner who like blonde boy, that make Kimarhi mad! And scary lady with walking dolls that can make things go dead. And man with funny hair who no shut up about stupid Yevon. Then man with red coat. Man with red coat no have feelings!
But most of all, Kimarhi NO LIKE AL BHED GIRL!! AL BHED GIRL WHINY AND IDIOTIC! It happen like this:
Kimarhi and stupid travelers were fighting fiends in Calm Lands. Al Bhed girl used funny thingies that go boom on one monster. But instead of hitting fiend, SHE HIT KIMARHI!! IT HURT!! Evreyone laugh as Kimarhi was in pain! They no heal Kimarhi for 5 minutes! EVEN MAN WITH RED COAT LAUGHED!
Kimarhi swore revenge! And Kimarhi will get it! Yesss... Kimarhi's plan will work! First, AL BHED GIRL WILL DIE MOST PAINFUL DEATH!
It was on that night that Al Bhed girl die! She walked up to me, still laughing and apoligized for throwing grenade at me. Kimarhi ask her:
"Would Rikku take walk with Kimarhi?"
Stupid Al Bhed girl say yes. Kimarhi buy extra spears. While Al Bhed girl is looking at big gorge in Calm Lands, Kimarhi raise spear and drive it into Al Bhed girl's back, then pushed her into gorge. Kimarhi laughed as she screamed and hit the floor! WAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAA!
Kimarhi will just say fiends got her while Al Bhed girl was taking walk. They know Kimarhi no tell lie... until now.. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!
Next day, Kimarhi will kill scary mage lady with walking moogle dolls.
~~~~~~~~DAY TWO OF KIMARHI'S HOMICIDAL QUEST~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kimarhi say nothing as they search for stupid Al Bhed girl. Finally, redhead with funny hair say Al Bhed girl got killed by fiends. Kimarhi very happy. Now mage lady die!
While we explore lost temple, mage lady is looking at chocobos. Kimarhi know what make chocobo trample stuff. Kimarhi poke chocobo in butt with spear. This make chocobo very mad. It charge forward and started crushing mage lady, then mage lady was bloody mess and died before summoner could heal!
Everyone very sad that mage lady died. Especially man with funny hair. In fact, man with funny hair was so sad, he jump to his doom. Kimarhi kill two chocobos with one stone. Or two human with one chocobo. Very good.
Kimarhi decide to kill blonde hair man tomorrow. But Kimarhi feel that man with red coat knows. Kimarhi will kill him last though. Man with red coat is not bad guy really.
~~~~~~~~~DAY THREE OF KIMARHI'S HOMICIDAL QUEST~~~~~~~~~~~
Kimarhi have perfect plan to kill blonde boy. Blonde boy is very stupid, and Kimarhi can make trap for him!
While Kimarhi, blonde boy, summoner and man with red coat is trekking in Mt. Gagazet, we rest. This Kimarhi's master plan. Blonde boy trips and falls into mud. Now he is dirty.
He complain about this, and Kimarhi point out spring that he secretly made the night before. Little did stupid boy know, spring had very scalding water.
And he jumped in! Kimarhi did all he could to suppress laughter as blonde boy thrashed around, cooking to death. He die before summoner and man with red coat could react. Now he dead and summoner sad. Good.
Kimarhi grabbed man with red coat's sword and chopped up the summoner while she was crying. MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Now summoner is dead too!
Man with red coat did not seem to care. Kimarhi is very happy, and now Kimarhi have revenge! Kimarhi tried to kill man with red coat, but it turns out man with red coat is already dead. Oh well.
Stupid author. She like man with red coat very much, that only reson he live! If Kimarhi had more control over story, he could die! ALL WOULD DIE!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
That was short and disturbing. And I do like Auron. Very much. That is the only reason he lives. And due to the fact that Kimarhi couldn't kill him anyways unless he knew Auron was dead beforehand..
Kimarhi: KIMARHI KNOW THAT! AUTHOR MUST PAY! *takes away all of Linnet's Vanilla Coke*