Hi! So this is it. I'm not exactly happy with it but I hope you guys enjoy it. I would have had it out sooner but I got hung up writing another story. You should check it out after you read this.
"Brittany, you are the light of my life. You loved me at a time when I didn't even love myself. You loved me when I least deserved it because you knew I really needed you to. You loved me despite myself and you saved me. You pulled me from the deepest, darkest depths of my soul where I laid curled in a ball terrified of anyone getting too close because I thought I wasn't good enough. I thought I was unworthy of being loved but you loved me anyway. You took my hand and pulled me into the light where you showed me how to love and be loved again. I pushed you away but you always came back. You fought for us when I had given in. There are no words to describe how much I appreciate you being there for me. I love you more than I ever thought I could. I love you with the breath, the smile, and the tears of my life. You're every drop of blood in my veins and every breath I take. All I want is to love you for the rest of my life. Who is my love but the soul of my soul."
Tears slid down my face as I slid Brittany's wedding ring onto her finger. A ring that would stay there until the day we died. I looked up to find her face mirrored mine. I mouthed 'I love you' and she repeated.
"Santana, I have loved you since that first night we spent together. We had a rough few years but we've worked through all of that and now here we are making promises to love each other forever. I always felt that we were meant to be. No amount of pain or tears could tell me otherwise. So as I stand up here today with you, believe every word I say because nothing truer has ever left my lips. I love you enough to fight for you, enough to sacrifice myself for you if I need to. I love you enough to miss you when we're apart no matter the amount of time or distance. I believe in our relationship and I'll stand by it through the worst of times. I have faith in our strength as a couple and I will never give up on us. I promise to give you strength when you are weak and catch your tears when you cry. I promise to bring you back to life if ever you feel like dying and I will never let you feel alone in this world. I promise to make you smile and laugh and make love to you like it's our last time every time. I promise to always trust you and spill my soul to you. I promise you my heart and each and every beat. Santana, I promise to love you until the end of time."
There's a lump the size of a golf ball in my throat after hearing Brittany's vows. Before she's even able the slip the ring all the way on my finger, I'm throwing my arms around her neck and kissing her like my life depended on it.
"We're married." Brittany whispers as she breaks the kiss.
"We're married." I repeat with the biggest smile on my face.
Brittany and I got married two years after we got back together. It was a very low key wedding with only a few guests in attendance. Brittany's parents, plus her little sister Ashley came. And, of course the Fabrays along with Quinn and Rachel. Quinn was my maid of honor while Brittany chose Ashley. Rachel wasn't over the moon about it. Britt told her what I had done and she was shocked, or maybe scared, into silence. She refused to even come around me. I didn't mind though because she was annoying as shit. Her voice drove me up the wall so whenever I was around her, I'd give her a death glare that shut her up immediately.
My therapist, Emma Pillsbury came too. Not long after Brittany and I got back together, we went for couple's counseling with her. We wanted to get all of our issues and concerns out in the open. We wanted to talk about all the feelings we had so we could get off to a great start. It took a few months but it was worth it. Britt and I got a clean slate and our lives were never better. It was the best day of my life. We even got to go on honeymoon that the Fabrays paid for as a wedding gift.
Brittany and I moved to Marysville, California where I'm now a resident at Rideout Memorial Hospital. Brittany owns her own dance studio where practically the whole town brings their kids. Marysville isn't very big or overpopulated and we love it. It's not like the outback or anything but it's pretty country enough for Brittany. I research all the cities in the country side of California and wrote them down. Brittany put them in a hat and pulled. I couldn't argue with her because the place is beautiful. There are two lakes and the view as the sun sets across them is amazing. It's a great place to raise our kids.
Speaking of kids, I should probably mention that last night I gave birth to a baby girl. She has a head full of dark hair and her eyes are just as dark. We chose a donor that resembled Brittany, but she has nothing for him. She looks exactly like me and Brittany's very excited about that. It's the best thing ever, baby. You're beautiful and our daughter's beautiful and you're my girls. I was scared shitless about having a baby but we wanted to start our family right away. Well, Brittany wanted to start our family right away because she wants to have 5-6 now. I almost choked on my beer when she casually mentioned that. With whose vagina? Then she said how about 4? I still don't know about that because I don't want to spend the rest of my life pregnant. Having a baby and being a mom, feels terrifying. I'm just glad I have Brittany because she's perfect with her. It warms my heart to see Brittany snuggle her and talk to her. You would think that I'd be freaking out about having a family after what happened with mine but I'm actually determined. I'm determined to never let my family fall apart. They mean the world to me.
Today, Brittany and I are visiting my mom's and Consuela's gravesites. I haven't been there since we buried my mom. It's been 13 years. Emma said that this would be the last phase in my therapy. I had to visit their graves and talk to them. My mom, my dad, and Consuela are buried right next to each other.
Brittany has my hand in a tight grip as we walk up to them. When I see their names on the headstones, my chest gets heavy and tears well up in my eyes. I kneeled down and laid flowers on all three graves and then I began to speak.
"Hey guys, it's been a while huh? I'm sorry about that, I've just been a little busy you know. I graduated from med school at the top of my class and now I'm a resident specializing in the cardiothoracic field. I'm also married and I have a kid now. You should be proud of me."
I look to my mom's grave. "You hear that mom. I have you to thank especially for that. You encouraged me to be driven and excel at my academics, at anything I wanted to do, really. I'm so sorry I ended your life because I desperately wanted to see your face filled with pride as I got my diploma. I sure could have used you holding my other hand as I gave birth to your granddaughter too. I'm so sorry you're missing out on getting to know her."
I had to pause and take a deep breath because I was getting choked up. After a minute, I looked to my dad.
"And dad, I would have loved to have you deliver her. I know you were a surgeon but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. We didn't end on the greatest of notes but I just want you to know that I forgive you. If you would have just stayed with me, we could have gotten through our heartache over losing mom together. I wouldn't have been so broken. I wouldn't have felt unworthy of this beautiful girl's love standing behind me. I wouldn't have broken her heart the way you broke mine. But, I still forgive you because that's what a family is about, love and forgiveness. "
Last but not least… The tears were flowing now just thinking about her.
"Mi ninera, oh how I've missed you. Do you know how special you were to me? You were my everything, Consuela. Guess what? I met a girl and fell in love and then I pushed her away. I know exactly what you would have said had you still been alive. Idiota, godisculpasahora mismo! (You idiot, go apologize right now!) She came back to me though and now we're married. She's my everything now. But you, you will always have a special place inside of my heart. I named my daughter after you. She's gorgeous and I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom. I'm going to raise her the way you raised me. She going to love and love hard. She's also going to be whom and what she wants. Just like you always wanted for me."
I stood up and Brittany immediately stepped to my side and grabbed my hand in both of hers. I wiped my tears with the other.
"I'll try to visit more often. I may even bring little Consuela and introduce you. I love you guys and I'll see you in another life, okay."
Brittany hugged me as I broke down in her arms. I felt like the entire world had been lifted from my shoulders and I was instantly relieved. All my negative feelings I had were gone. I had forgiven myself and my family and I felt great. I felt healed and it was all thanks to this beautiful woman holding me in her arms. My true love.
"I love you so much, Brittany."
"I love you too, sweetheart."
Thank you guys so much for reading! Please review! And be sure to check out my other story, "Not Ready to Say Goodbye." It's a sad one though so don't read if you don't want to cry.
I love you guys!