Hello All-

I have not written OR in a good long while but I head this song and thought of Pizza Girl/Emily so I had to write this chapter. I hope you guys like. I am also woring on a new one for Father of it all, so that should be posting soon.

Just so you guys know, I am writing another story on the Fifty Shades FF, under a new name PerhapsPerhapsPerhaps. I didnt want to mix it with my CBD because those Fifty fans can be brutal. The story is called Darkness and White and it is kinda of the antithesis of Fifty. i am really tired of stories that promte women seek out dangerous men, so i decided to write something different. I have added some OR touches to that story, breadcrumbs for you to find. So if you want to check it out i would love to hear your thoughts.

As always please follow and review, its really the driving force for all of us who write on here.

Thanks for reading

xoxo CBD


Merry Merry Happy Kate Nash - Emily

Watching me like you never watch no one

Don't tell me that you didn't try and check out my bum

Cause I know that you did

Cause your friend told me that you liked it

Gave me those pearls and I thought they were ugly

Though you try to tell me that you never loved me

I know that you did

'Cause you said it and you wrote it down

Dancing at discos

Eating cheese on toast

Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy

But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

Dancing at discos

Eating cheese on toast

Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy

But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

So I learnt from you

Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do

So I learnt form you

Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone

I can watch a sunset on my own

Sitting in restaurants

Thought we were so grown up

But I know now that we were not the people

That we turned out to be

Chatting on the phone

Can't take back those hours

But I won't regret

'Cause you can grow flowers

From where dirt used to be

Dancing at discos

Eating cheese on toast

Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy

But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

Dancing at discos

Eating cheese on toast

Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy

But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

So I learnt from you

Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do

So I learnt from you

Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone

I can watch a sunset on my own

(do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do)

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone

I can watch a sunset on my own

(do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do)


I have always been the odd one, it's kinda my thing I guess. My sisters are all so painfully normal. They ooze normality and grace and cardigan sweaters. So me, I stick out with my hair and my tights and stripes, but I am happy. I know exactly who I am right now, and I am still figuring out who I am gonna be. Like I remember this one time, I was knitting what I thought was going to be a blanket but then I ended up making a poncho ( that I wear all the time). I wonder if my sisters are blankets that should have been ponchos. Or this other time when Phil thought he was being sweet and gave me this pearl necklace he found in the attic, it was awful and plain. So I dipped the pearls in colored dye and re-strung it and now it is perfectly me. A pearl-tastic rainbow.

Anyway, I am different is the point and sometimes different can be really lonely. My family never even tried to understand me, instead they just ignored me, easier to pretend I wasn't there at all. I spent a lot of time alone. But I think that is the reason I am so self sufficient and contained. I can find fun in the silliest things: cotton ball art, pearl dying, 1,001 things to make out of duct tape, whipping up something crazy in the kitchen like pizza stuffed mushrooms or lettuce soup. Some things work some things don't but the most important thing is that you try.

I never really had friends growing up, which is why I am so grateful for Hannah and Janet now) I kinda just kept to myself. I had my books and my music and my art and thankfully it was enough that is until I met Phil.

I had heard the rumors about him. Freaky Phil, the man who never leaves the house, the man who can't be moved. Even before I met him, I knew we would could be friends. Us freaks need to stick together. But I see now how important it is for me to help him get out of the house. There is a great big world out there and it is just waiting for Phil and I to make a mess in it. Slosh around in puddles, swim in the dead sea, run a mile in the Sahara, drink shots in New York City, drink a pint in Dublin… A whole world out there just for me and Phil. God, I would just like to sit and watch a sunset with him, just a simple sunset. But I don't know how I can convince him, It has been months since he took a ride in Klaus and that didn't go well. Have you ever pushed a car for a mile. Let me tell you, it is the complete and total opposite of fun.

Phil is missing out on all the fun, like tonight for example. All his friends are at Sully's trying to help Eddie get Janet back together and Phil and I are sitting here eating toast and watching CNN. I mean it's Friday night. I want to be at Sully's with our friends, laughing and drinking and dancing. Not that I don't love these nights with Phil, snuggled up on the couch talking for hours about nothing and everything. Cause I do, I love it and I love Phil and I love our life together but we could have so much more, be so much more. Have you ever met someone who just understood you, someone who made you feel like everything is possible. That's how Phil makes me feel. Like I am seen, for the first time.

"UhEmily, so how do you think Operation Jeddie is going?" I looked up at Phil and I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Uh, Operation Jeddie? I know we are living in a post 9/11 word, but I have no clue what that is… was it on CNN today?"

"No Silly, Operation Jeddie… Janet plus Eddie… Jeddie… Hello… I wonder how it is going down out Sully's." I laughed out loud, Phil was always giving things cute names. This is what I am talking about, he is just so funny and smart and wonderful in everyway but one.

"Jeddie I like the sound of that. I hope is all goes well, but they are both stubborn like bulls."

"Philily… that would be you and me… or UhEmil?" He looked at me with a puzzled expression and all I could do was laugh.

"I like Philily, it has a nice ring to it. Sounds like a flower." I jumped up of the sofa, sending toast crust in all directions.

"Where are you going?"

"I am going to go draw a Philily. I'm gonna go head over to my place and pick up some of my art supplies, I will be back in a jumpin jack flash."

"Could you get some salsa on the way back, I am feeling like some nachos"

"Will do!"


I lied, I felt awful that I did it but, I wanted to go to Sully's and see how Operation Jeddie was going first hand. When I got there all the guys were outside, with Matt and his crew of asshats. I knew right away that operation Jeddie was going down hill fast. I watched Matt walk off with his tail between his legs, grateful it didn't come to blows. Eddie was still nursing a bashed up face and broken ribs, he couldn't take a round two. I followed them into the bar, and Ikey smiled at me. Poor Ikey. He is such a great guy, I wish he could find someone who would appreciate him. Make him a better man.

Eddie walked off to the storage room and I sat down with boys trying to get a clue.

"Seriously, Matt Kissed her? I mean WTF? If I didn't know any better I would say Lauche is nursing a Janet Meadows crush." They boys all looked at each other like light bulbs had gone off in their heads.

"That actually makes some sense. Good thinking UhEmily." Nicky nodded at me, eyebrows raised. "If I was writing this as a book a Janet Meadows crush with make perfect sense."

"If you were writing this I wouldn't be in the story at all." Ikey groaned taking a sip of his beer.

"True dat!" Ikey and I pounded fists. "Well on that note I got to motor, Phil thinks I am getting salsa. Keep me posted. Adios!"


It was days later and I was sitting in Hannah's kitchen with Janet and Sam. Janet was still a mess, things with her and Eddie were more complicated then ever and Hannah was having doubts about Ray. I was sitting there only half listening. My mind was on Phil. He was getting worse, too comfortable. He knew I never expected him to do anything he was not ready for, he know I would never push. So why would he change? Why would he take a step outside with me. Why! I needed to give him a reason, I needed to help him help himself.

"I think I am going to break up with Phil." I dropped the bomb and Janet and Hannah's heads whipped around to my direction.

"Excuse me?" It was Sam that finally spoke, his mouth agape.

"I think I have to, he is not getting any better."

"He will get better Uh, he will you just need to give him so more time."

"Janet, Its been nearly a year, you know. I need to dangle the carrot."

"Dangle the carrot?' Hannah looked at me puzzled.

"No, She is right. It like with me an Amanda. She didn't like me after the whole rocking the stadium thing, and then I decided I didn't like her anymore and started liking Megan. Megan was the carrot…"

"Exactly little man. See he gets it."

"Wait is that what I am doing with Eddie… Dangling the carrot?" Janet furrowed her brow and put her head in her hands letting out an ARGGGG.

"He tells you that he loves you, you have amazing S-E-X…"

"UhEMily I can spell sex. Duh."

"Sorry Sam, you have amazing sex and then you refuse to talk to him. I would say that qualifies as carrot dangling. And Ray is so your carrot Hannah Jane."

"It is not!"

"Yeah ma, he is. You want to be with Nick, you know you do. You are just scared because you don't want to tell him that he is my real dad!" Sam dropped a second bomb right there in the kitchen. All of our heads turned to his direction, mouths agape.

"Rockstar…"

"Don't ma. If you are going to lie to me I really don't want to hear it."

"Could you guys give us a few minutes please?" Hannah looked at us with tears in her eyes. I could literally feel the panic pouring off of her. Janet grabbed my hand under the table and gave it a squeeze.

"Sure thing Hannah, I got to get to Sully's for my shift. You call me if you need anything." Janet ruffled Sam's hair as she walked passed, grabbing her jacket.

"Ditto!" I chirped out, trying to act normal. For me anyway. 'Not about Sully's… about the phone call."


Phil and Eddie were in their usual seats, parked in front of the TV eating the last of the salsa and chips. Eddie was drinking a beer and by the look at the empties on the coffee table he was not having a good day. I said hello and neither one even looked in my direction, eyes glued to what looked like Shark Week.

"Phil, I really need to talk to you…"

"Can it wait, I really want to see this bit about the Mako Sharks mating habits."

"Sure Phil, if you want me to wait until after your show is over to break up with you then fine!" That got his attention and Eddie's too. He turned off the TV as he stood up and threw the remote on the sofa.

"What do you mean break up with me?" The pain on his face took all of the wind out of my sails but I knew I was doing this for the right reason. Eddie cleared his throat, reminding us that he was there.

"I am gonna just go…"

"No Latekka, you stay right where you are. Its not like Phil and I have had a moment of privacy this entire time. You are here or Owen or Ikey. Even the TV Steve! I cant do this Phil, wishing and waiting for you to go outside. I mean if you were at least trying to get better that would be one thing but your not! And why would you? You get your sex delivered just as easily as your pizza!"

"Emily its not like that. I want to get better I just…"

"Can't! WON'T! I love you Phil. I really do. But I want a life with you that includes the outside world. I want to sit with you in Sully's drinking a beer, I want to go to New York with you, I want to swim in the ocean with you."

"I want that too."

"Do you really? If I cant have it with you I am do it on my own. There is a whole world out there and I cant feel guilty for wanting to experience it. You know what, I am not coming back here, if you want to see me you know where I will be working now. You come and see me. And I am not going to wait forever, you have a month. Thirty days Phil. After that, well I am moving on with or with out you."


I pushed my way past Eddie, who looked like I had just broken up with him too. Just a few more minutes and then you can cry. Keep it together. I stormed out the front door, slamming it for good measure. And waited until I turned the corner. I slumped against a tree, and sobbed. God that was so much harder then I ever thought it would be. Maybe I didn't think this through. God I am such an idiot!

"Emily are you OK?" I was hoping to hear Phil's voice when I heard the footsteps behind me but it was Eddie.

"Yeah, I mean no but…" I wiped away my tears, smudging my new blue mascara. I must have looked like a mess. Eddie took the hem of his plaid shirt and wiped away the blue streaks from my face. Eddie was a ladies man, but I never say him like that. Sure he was hot, super duper hot! But to me he was like the big brother I always wanted but never had.

"What the hell just happened?"

"He needs incentive Eddie, he needs to be pushed. We all enable him."

"So you don't really want to break up with him then?" He crossed his arms against his chest and leaned against the tree with me.

"No, I just want him to get better and I am hoping this will work."

"It's a bold move, I will give you that. I hope for your sake and his… that it works. He is a freaking mess in there?" Panic began to fill my chest, I hated the idea that Phil was alone and in pain. But I had to remember why I was doing this.

"Then why are you here with me?"

"He sent me, he wanted me to bring you back. He begged me to bring you back."

"Eddie you can't tell him!"

"I won't I think you may be right, this is what he needs a good kick in his skinny ass." He looked smug and from where I am standing he had no right.

"You could use a kick yourself."

"And why is that?"

"Because you are an idiot for letting Janet push you away. She is scared. Really scared and she needs you now more then ever. Don't let her, promise me."

"Do you know something?" I knew a lot but I was not about to break girl code, and betray the trust of one of my only friends.

"That's not the point, just promise me you won't let her push you away." He looked at me reluctantly, I knew I had worried him. Good a little worry never hurt a man. "Promise me Eddie."

"I promise."