Don't own Naruto BLAH BLAH BLAH
Chapter 3 To Be A Protector
After I met Itachi my Mom almost immediately stopped with the play-dates, except for a few more that also ended horribly. I think she finally figured out that I didn't do good with children my age.
My Father who I had hardly seen before started being around less and less until I didn't see but once every two weeks or more, and when I did see him he was always ragged, tired, and had more scars.
He also started to become more clingy he now willingly held me, he would sit and talk at me in his monotone voice, and he would sometimes even read me stories. Which I enjoyed my former Mom used to always read to me when I was younger. My heart clenched at the thought, my 'former' Mom. I clenched my fists and pushed it aside.
I knew why of course there was war going on, I could only imagine the stuff he had seen, the close calls he had, and the children just like me he had seen dead out on the battlefield.
My father despite how socially retarded he was, was really a kind, and caring man. Seeing all the dead, starving, and dieing people that are every where during times of war must have really effected him. Also having to cause some of those deaths I think really made him depressed, because sometimes I'd see him staring at his hands ,repeatedly clenching and unclenching them. Until my Mom would notice and call him over to do some menial task to distract him.
My Mom was always worried about my Dad, she seemed to want to help in any way she could, just little things.
She would also worry about him quite often, every time someone knocked she would hesitate before answering the door, I guess hoping that it would not be someone there to tell her my Dad 'Died honorably on the battlefield for the good of Konoha', those where the words every wife, husband, mother, father, and child of a shinobi sad part the sad is that they were told to many people every day.
There was always funerals, always people covered in white sheets, always someone crying, always people in black, you learned either find some way to deal with it or go crazy.
It is a fact of life here ninja die at young ages, and it happens everyday. That doesn't make it any less horrible, it is a fact, and dying in battle for their nation is the most honorable death, but you still felt it.
This was all new to me and really I was terrified. I had never experienced war before, war in last life was always off in some distant place, and I certainly had never really knew anyone close to me involved in a war.I had also never had to go through invasion drills, I never felt that spike of adrenaline when the sirens blared, or when I saw a person who wore different shoes than everyone else before I never would have wondered if that meant they where an intruder.
Never had I been surrounded by such feelings of paranoia, and loss, that permeated the very air around me.I was scared and jumpy most of the time, like every other child.
Though I think it was worse for me I could actually feel when a ninja was close by, the constant traffic of ninja would go unnoticed by most people I was constantly aware of them, so I was always cautious, stressed, or jumpy.
I could see how so many strove for peace this was maddening.
Especially for a Uchiha everyday we had to be careful anyone could be kidnapped and experimented on, especially children. Mothers and Fathers kept children close by, hardly anyone brought their kids outside the clan's compound.
Children are the best to experiment on you see our still developing bodies can be so malleable in the hands of enemy, we could also be indoctrinated by the opposing village and be used to start that villages very own 'Uchiha' clan, and it is just a plus children really can't defend themselves.
Everyone was looked at with suspicion, anyone could be an enemy shinobi in disguise, tying to get our secrets, trying to get the children, trying to kill the clan head, trying to kill the whole clan!
I couldn't even convince myself that I had nothing to worry about because the clan still existed after the war, because I didn't know if this was some whacked up alternate universe and completely different form cannon and further more I don't remember there being a Miku Uchiha, of course not many Uchiha were seen, ,but still it made me edgy.
There was a knock at the door, my Mom hesitated like she always did and then reluctantly opened the door. There was a strange man there a blonde man defiantly not a Uchiha.
His eyes where down cast ,and when he saw me staring at him from the floor they looked guilty. He then pulled out a slip of red paper and my Mother froze.
She stopped dead and went pale. Her eyes started to water, and before I knew it as she gripped the paper in a death grip, she began to cry silently.
She looked up pleadingly to the man searching his face to see if it was a misunderstanding.
The man said in a monotone that must have been very hard for him to maintain.
"The honorable Giichi Uchiha son of Raiden and Hana Uchiha has died honorably in the field of battle protecting Konoha, the circumstances that lead to his death are classified."The man no 'Boy' I now noticed he wasn't any older than seventeen stated.
My Mom gaped at him, and she shook violently.
Then my Mother did the most shocking thing I had ever seen. She punched him straight in the jaw, my loving and kind ,and maybe a little devious Mother punched someone.
She then promptly fell to the ground crying, as the man winced as he rubbed his jaw glanced one last time at us then left.
As I watched all of this happen it sunk in. I knew what the red slip ment I had heard whispers it ment KIA, it didn't mean MIA, it ment full-blown proven killed in action.
"He is dead"? I asked myself in my mind.
No he couldn't be I saw him two days ago alive and well he read me the tale 'Takara The To Slow Shinobi' and promised buy me some new books for us to read together. He patted hadmy head and even for the first time kissed my forehead afterwords as he tucked me in. He had breakfast the very next morning with us I saw him eat, and breath, and he was fine!
He was fine I saw that he was! He couldn't be dead! That's what happens to other people not me!
He couldn't be dead, he cant, No, No, NO.
Hes dead Hes dead, Hes dead. My mind kept spinning in circles around the idea. I couldn't stop it so finally I did what a three-year old in this situation would do I cried.
I was angry, after I cried I was so angry. Angry at this world, and this war.
'Stupid war' I cried in my mind. I didn't have the words to express myself in my new language.
'Why me! Stupid world! WHY ME DAMMIT I WAS DOING GREAT WHERE I WAS! FUCK WHO EVER IS UP THERE' I ranted in my mind as I cried. I felt like I should compose myself, but I'm a child dammit! I'm not seventeen anymore in this world I am only three! I could do what ever I want, and right now I just wanted to cry, cry and be angry.
Anger is what I had always turned to when crying failed. I just need to lash out when I am sad or depressed.
Furthermore I felt as if I had a right to be angry. I didn't understand why I was here, why it had to be me here, why I had to come. I was lazy, and carefree now I suddenly had all this stuff pushed on me. Even if it was coincidence I was angry. I finally exploded again in my mind.
'I didn't need to come here! I didn't want this, I didn't want to be doomed to die, I didn't want to be apart of this stupid, stupid world, I was happy being a lazy teenager! Stupid! Stupid!'
I then heard the boy with the red fliers words 'died honorably in the field of battle protecting Konoha ' Konoha I am apart of Konoha he was protecting , me and Mom his 'precious' people. I irrationally lashed out again.
'Why did he have to go and do that? Why did he have to die that idiot! Why did he have to die!' my mind was about to burst, but my mouth and body did instead.
"OTOU-CHAN BAKA!" I screamed and threw myself at the casket. My mother quickly grabbed me and held me back, and pulled me into an embrace as I cried. I fisted the front of her black shirt and let my tears, and snot stain it as I poured out every bit of sorrow and anger.
Her hug tightened and she pulled as close as possible.
"Shhhhh" she cooed as she held me.
"Its alright Miku."She whispered as she ran her fingers through my hair and held me in a tight embrace.
"Not Kaa-chan... Not alright" I murmured into her shirt.
Nothing was alright not now, not the future nothing was 'alright' I wanted to tell her. I couldn't find the words. 'Stupid language' I thought bitterly.
Everyone else kept looking forward, and with blank faces watched on in private grief, shinobi, especially Uchiha shinobi never show emotion.
They all stood in lines, like black statues, as I shook, as the sky darkened and as it began to rain.
R.I.P Giichi Uchiha
I had to get better I had to be the one to protect and not the protected. He died protecting Mom and me so I would have to protect myself and Mom because who would die protecting me next?
My mind kept telling me to give up to just forget it, but then I thought of my Father, and Mother.I had to try right? I knew me and I knew I would want to give up, but I had to push through right? I steeled my resolve, and made a commitment.
I had to learn to protect myself, I had to learn to protect everyone! Now it wasn't only my goal to survive it was so much more!
I had to do this for my Father, and for my Mother. I had to do it even though it would be hard and I would want to give up I had to keep pushing.
"Kaa-chan"I said as I tugged on her dress.
"Yes Miku what is it"? Asked my mother as she bent down to my level.
I searched for the right words to get my point across. It was so hard trying to put my feelings into this one thing I had to tell her, because if I didn't tell her I might give up.
"I want to be a shinobi" I said firmly.
"Of course you do honey." She said as she patted my head not really putting much weight in what a three-year old said. Noticing this I clenched my fists and searched for words, with my limited vocabulary it was hard but I finally found what I was looking for.
"Kaa-chan I have to be a shinobi" she paused when she saw the fire in my eyes, burning with determination.
Her face contorted in fear. I could tell she wanted me to live the safe life of a civilian, but I couldn't tell her why I didn't have the words, and I couldn't really explain how I knew what would happen in the future. I was her three-year old daughter Miku in her eyes, the last link to her love Giichi. She probably wanted to keep me locked away safe somewhere. Safe from the war, safe from the world of ninja.
A part of me wished it was possible for her to protect me, and everything turn out just fine.
I was just a little girl to her, I couldn't tell her who I was on the inside, I couldn't tell her I wasn't only her little Miku. I would never be able to, I would always be her little girl, no matter what in her eyes, just like every mother.
Wow want that really depressing :( Sorry if there is any grammar mistakes and what not I'm not so good at that stuff :/ Well I hoped all of you liked it please read and review it is much appreciated. Seriously if you want to flame go ahead just weave some constructive criticism in there OK :3 I mean No one ever hardly ever review whats with that seriously just tell me something! PLEASE REVIEW :) it really helps me get better please please please REVIEW :/
Giichi means one rule :*(
Raiden means thunder and lightning
Hana means flower
fitting for this chapter I think
all my OCs have a name behind them that goes with them either personality wise ability wise quirk wise or if i think it would be ironic its what i like to do :P
By the way who noticed the reference to another fanfiction :P