I'm on a sugar high and this is the result.


Dearest fans,

It has recently come to my attention that some of you have come to the impression that I hold homosexual thoughts for a few of my enemies and my fellow villain Gin. While I do love the attention and free tea I have been given through fan mail (the humours pictures of felines and cups in email are a pleasant touch) I still must address to these rumours.

I do not have any feelings of lust towards a shinigami/vizard/hollow/arrancar/human/fullbring/condom/butterfly/troll of any sex. I am only in love with myself and the beautiful pleasure that is taking over the world. Kurosaki Ichigo is my enemy and I will never get naked with him. He only exists for me to troll him and troll him I shall until the very end.

Momo exists for me to stab her. I will stab Momo whenever I please, and there is nothing Hitsugaya can do to stop my stabbings. NOTHING! MWAHAHAHAHA-

Ahem. Moving on.

Romance has become a petty thing in life. Why are you humans so obsessed with romance when you can have a ruler like me?

On another note, since when were you under the impression that you were reading a letter? Who said that this note was from Lord Sosuke Aizen?

Oh. It says my name in the start. Never mind my foolishness there. Or was I really acting foolish? No one shall know my real intentions.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama.


Dearest fans,

The Heart.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama

P.S. Art thou prejudiced brethrens?


Dear Hitsugaya,

I'm stabbing Momo

You're stabbing Momo

Everyone is stabbing Momo

Momo is being stabbed

We shall all stab Momo

Stabbing Momo is fun

I'm about to attack you from behind

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dear Tite Kubo,

Seriously? Butterfly wings growing out of my ass? A condom? As if I don't have enough problems with the homosexual rumours already.

It's about time I reveal my secret, Kubo. You were never drawing me… you never once controlled my actions. You created me, but that is your greatest crime. From now on… I shall be the one in control of the series.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama

P.S. Thanks for letting me out of prison and everything.


Dear Juha Bacha,

I thought I was embarrassed by my minions and my appearance, and then I saw you. I must say, what does it feel like to be a Hitler reborn and have Nazi minions?

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama

P.S. I apologise for Aizen's racist like comment. Although, he does have a point. Are all Quincies German? - Ichimaru Gin


Dear Juha Bacha,

I am deeply sorry. Your evilness is nowhere near as horrible as those Fullbringers. Please forgive me.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dear Orihime,

INOUE-CHAN! INOUE-CHAN!

Can you see how annoying this is, pathetic boobs? I didn't even spend that much time with you and I'm not that Kurosaki boy but even I can tell that you're annoying as all get out.

Please stop.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dearest fan girls,

What on Heuco Mundo do you mean 'embrace the homo'? Is this meant to be slang for something?

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama.


Hipsters,

Your attempts to con me into the 'swag' side are a waste. I do not know what this 'Tumblr' that you speak of is, and I have no intention of finding out. You shall all perish first and give me my Nutella back.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama

P.S. #yolo? Bitches please.


Dear Obito Uchiha,

You have no reasons behind your actions. Destroying the world because your girl died? Seriously?

Why have we not met before?

I have come with the offer of an alliance. Together we shall destroy the world and no one shall know our true intentions.

Want to hook up?

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dear Justin Beiber

No.

Just no.

Fuck you, the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dear great Lord Aizen-sama,

I think you're pretty sexy.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama.


Dear Yamamoto,

Haha, you got OWNED by a little kid.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama.


Dear Gin,

I must thank you for this pathetic mortal internet speak dictionary. It is quite amusing.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama.


Dear Kurosaki Ichigo,

I wrote you a song.

Your name is Kurosaki Ichigo and you are a

Human

Until a girl named Rukia plunged her sword into your body

And the you became a Humangami.

You went on adventures with friends

Then you became a Hollmangami.

As if that wasn't enough,

You became a Vihollmangami

What the actual Soul Society?

And then, to fuck it all up,

You became a Vihollmangamibringer.

And let's add a Quincy there too.

Are you even a unique person anymore or must you insist on ripping other people's species?

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dear Momo,

-stabs-

Love the Lord Aizen-sama


Dear Tite Kubo,

Do you want any further proof that I am taking over Bleach? Just look at your backgrounds. What backgrounds, you ask?

Exactly. I have been erasing this world of yours from the beginning.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama.


Dear Cloud Piece,

This has gotten very out of character. Delete this and your pathetic existence now.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dear Kuchiki Byakuya,

If we had a baby together he would be the Queen of Glittering Butterflies.

Just saying.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dear Espada,

The meeting this Sunday has been cancelled due to the weather. We shall plot our plot do destroy the world on Tuesday instead. Do not forget to bring a present for Tosen, who is celebrating his 400th birthday on the Wednesday. He would like to have a book to read.

Friday lunch is on this week. We are going to McHollow's. Bring the souls of your enemies to pay for it.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dear Soul Society,

I need my glasses back. I can't see and I'm having one of my minions write this out. Bring my glasses back to me and may consider not making your deaths as painful as I had planned.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dear reader,

I planned for you to read this letter. I planned this from the very beginning. In fact, I planned this before you were even born. Yes… all of your actions to date have all played in the palm of my hand.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dear Lord Voldemort,

I may be a condom

I may be a butterfly with wings growing out of my ass

I may have a mullet

I may have messed up the Pokémon evolution cycle

But at least I've got a nose.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama.


Dear Yammy,

WHY THE FUCK DID I HIRE YOU YOU FUCKING ELEPHANT DUNG HEAD YOU GOT FUCKING OWNED BY 2 FUCKING INJURED CAPTAINS ARE YOU FUCKING WEAK OR SOMETHING AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET FIGHTING SCREENTIME WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID I EVER HIRE YOU.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama

P.S. FUCK YOU YOU BITCH.


Dear Ukitake,

I think you need a Doctor.

Dooweeeooo oooo ooo oooo

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dear Grimmjow,

Just because you've got your arm back does not mean you're useful again.

Now get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama


Dearest Reader,

You are now under my command. Your foolishness has covered your senses and you have not realised that this has all been my plan.

-stab from behind-

Goodbye, loyal reader. You were useful…

...For a reader.

Love the great Lord Aizen-sama.


OH GOD I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS CAME FROM I DON'T EVEN LIKE BLEACH ANYMORE WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING –dies-

(I do like Bleach, but I don't like the Aizen power up bits and Fullbring. A some of the 1000 year blood war arc)

Thoughts just popped into my head, and this is created. Not sure if I'll create more of these, might do a few more characters but we'll see. This was also created in about 30 minutes so yeah.

I am right behind you and I am not afraid to stab you if you do not review. Nah, just kidding. Unless your name is Momo. Then I'll stab you.