Disclaimer. I do not own Kim PossibleTM or Star WarsTM, they remain the sole propety of their respected creator's. On the other hand, considering what the Star WarsTM franchise is like now, Lucas really sold out a long, long time ago...
Made in response to T-Rex989, hope ya all enjoy reading this.
Cousin Larry's House
"Larry! It's 1am!" A woman's voice spoke, making the young boy sigh. "Put those toys down and go to sleep already!"
Putting down his Fearless Ferret action figures, he trudged over to his bed for a good night's sleep. Nothing much exciting happened in his life, well, apart from the Robot Rumble tournaments he took part in. Still, at least he had a famous cousin, the legendary teen heroine Kim Possible. He listened to all the adventure's she had on the news, with her partner's Ron Stoppable and Rufus. Sometimes he wished he could have his own adventure's.
Still, bedtimes weren't exactly a bad thing for him. At least he could always dream.
Curling up beneath his Captain Constellation bedcovers, he flicked off the light switch and began dreaming of high adventure in a far away galaxy, full of crazy hairdoos and metal bras, strange gurus and insane bad guys. A world that is basically every nerds dream.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...Go ahead, hum the Star Wars theme...you know you want to...
THE KIM WARS TRILOGY
EPISODE IV: A BOO-YAH HOPE
It is a period of civil war.
GALACTIC JUSTICE spaceships, striking
from a hidden base, have
won their first victory
against the evil GWEE.
(GALACTIC WIDE EVIL EMPIRE)
During the battle, GJ
spies managed to steal
secret plans to the GWEE's
ultimate weapon, the
GIANT BALL OF DOOM, an armored
space station with enough
power to destroy an entire
Pursued by GWEE's sinister agents,
Princess Kimala races home aboard
her starship, custodian of the stolen
plans that can save her people and
restore freedom to the galaxy...
In the depths of space, in a far distant galaxy, a giant globe hung in the heavens that reflected light off the tan colored world of Whitemeen (pronouced, Whitem-een). From a distance, some pilots could have sworn it looked like a third sun, orbiting around to two larger suns in the centre of the star system in the outer rim of the galaxy. But no, it was in fact a large, desert planet that was inhabited by a vast variety of species, some native but mostly foreign to its constant hot climate. It wasn't exactly the most glamourous planet in the galaxy and nor the first choice to live, yet it proved its use for criminals to barter shady deals with other criminal organisations. However this planet, this hostile desert world in the outer rim, is where the story begins. A epic story of war, friendship and bravery.
High above the atmosphere of Whitemeen, a desperate battle with the fate of the galaxy was waged. The small Sloth-Class space cruiser called the Romano IV continued to flee, its turbo laser cannons firing out bright scorching green beams of energy at its unseen foe, the deflector shields failing to prevent incoming red beams of energy struck the heavily damaged vessel. Sparkling debris erupted from the hull as the display of crimson and emerald energy continued between prey and its predator, their chase finally about to come to a bitter end. One of the beams of concentrated crimson energy striking the Romano IV obliterated its rear stabilizer fin, fragments of metal erupting out into space, the smaller craft slowing down, severely crippled from the direct hit. Closing the gap between them, the GWEE's Lucas Class battle cruiser, it's evil purpose to enforce changes in the galaxy despite the fact it's perfect just the way it originally was. The crew of the smaller craft knew they were doomed but they still had an ace up their sleeve, as they were far above the planet of Whitemeen. All they had to do was get the precious data down to the planet.
The large nacho shaped cruiser continued it's relentless assault on the smaller ship, hammering it into submission as the large hanger bay doors on the belly of the ship opened up, GWEE trooper's at the ready to board the vessel and capture the prisoners, even kill those who resist while recovering the stolen plans that Princess Kimala of Middleraan had intercepted from GJ spies. It was not exactly a fair fight, the smaller craft could not match the hundreds of laser cannons that were trailed at it's hull, although not all of them were used. They didn't want to destroy the smaller craft, nor did they want to kill the princess...not yet. It was to all part of their plan to send a message to the rebels, one the GWEE was sure they would never forget. The exchange of laser fire ceased, the smaller craft, unable to fight anymore as it's weapon systems finally gave out, hanging dead in space as the larger craft engaged a tractor beam, pulling in the smaller craft into the belly of the larger vessel.
Inside the Romano IV, an explosion rocked the ship as a damaged section burnt out, nearly knocking one of the two droids off balance. Doctoo Draktoo and De Menzio.
From at first glance, the two droids hardly looked like they got along. The taller and more human-like one, with it's Austrian accent, was constantly bickering while assuming its superiority over the smaller one, a blue tripodal astromech that constantly kept telling the taller one to 'zip it'. Another explosion shook the ship, the taller one having a more difficult time trying to keep his balance, his companion completely fine due to his low centre of gravity from the way he was designed, much to his amusement. The hum of the main power reactor died out, the propulsion now offline despite the fact that the engines were damaged beyond repair. GWEE were doing things by the book, to show they were not kidding around this time.
"Vell, sounds like dhey shut down der main drive," De Menzio said, glancing at the smaller robot. "Looks like Fräulein Kimala von't be getting avay dhis time."
"Yes, she's certainly not all that as she claimed to be," Draktoo answered, as they tried to find a place to hide before GWEE troops boarded the ship.
"Zhis is lunancy! Ve'll be destroyed for sure, vhat vith der crushing und der blasting from DER GWEE TROOPAHS!"
"Nggh, look will you stop your yelling and look for a place for us to hide?!" Draktoo snapped. "I...wait, wassat sound?"
Their heated discussion was interrupted by the arrival of GJ security officers, taking defensive positions when a scraping sound rebounded through the bulkhead of the ship, followed by the dull thuds of footsteps. The two droids, if human, would have gulped in terror for they knew what it meant. GWEE had gained access to the ship.
"Oh...snap," Draktoo said. "Well...er...we better get moving then, quick!"
Before they could move, the tell-tale sparks around the edges of a large door just down the end of the corridor made them freeze in terror, GWEE technicians using a blow torch to cut through the door. Before they could move, GWEE troops kicked the door down and opened fire at GJ troops nearby, yelling in terror as blaster bolts whizzed past them. Bolts of energy slammed into sides of the corridor, while some struck GJ guards, crying out in pain as their life left them. One of the bolts struck an overhead beam, causing it to crash down onto the floor, narrowly missing the two droids. Quickly making their way inside an adjacent corridor, they allowed a sigh of relief, miraculously escaping that sitch by the skin of their teeth.
"Right, that's it...I'm getting outta here!" Draktoo said. "Let's get to the escape pods!"
"But us droids don't haff clearance to use dhem!"
"But us droids don't have clearance to use them," Draktoo mimicked in a whiny, annoying, sarcastic tone. "FORGET ABOUT THE BLASTED CLEARANCE!"
Utilising the wheels in his tripodal frame, he speed off down the corridor, leaving De Menzio frantically trying to keep up by the way he walked. Like an actor struggling to walk in a very stiff and uncomfortable robot suit.
"Hey, vait for me!" De Menzio called out, furiously cursing under his breath as he briskly walked after the smaller blue droid.
Shortly after making short work of the futile attempt to hold GWEE troopers back, the surviving GJ guards fell back, while a smaller group of GWEE troops gave chase, firing blasts of energy from their blasters. While the troopers that stayed behind, checking the fallen soldiers on both sides, something far more terrifying than an entire battlion of GWEE troops entered through the door. Something that would make the most hardened space adventurer drop his blaster and flee to the most remote star system, if it meant saving their life.
Tall, clad in dark, sinister black armor but no darker than the thoughts that ran through his mind, was Darth Eddie. The rythmic deep breathing of the life support systems ended with a deep, low hiss every few seconds, as Eddie glanced around the corridor. Many rumors circled around who Darth Eddie actually was. Some say he was a twisted experiment gone wrong. Some say he was an elite soldier, who worked personally for the Emperor. Some say he's actually the Green Cross Code guy under all that armor.
All they knew was, you never should dare to cross with him...unless you had a death wish. In the history of the known galaxy, the dark lords were known for great feats. Most of them were never good but they were great nonetheless. Although an enemy to the rebellion, Darth Eddie was hailed as a hero to GWEE forces, leading them to victory in numerous campaigns in the Empire's rise to power, most of the galaxy feared him as the personal enforcer to the emperor. He single handly destroyed entire forces, levelled cities and was rumored to have caused the extinction of a line of warriors who protected the galaxy. With a swish of his black cape, Darth Eddie strode down the corridors of the Romano IV, personally overseeing a mission of great importance.
De Menzio wandered the maintenance corridors of the Romano IV, trying to find the smaller droid, as he knew exactly where the escape pods were. The screams of terror and pain as GJ troops were gunned down were muffled through the thick metal walls, something that unsettled De Menzio. He certainly didn't want whatever was happening to them, happen to him. Doing his best to pick up the pace, he stopped in his tracks when he heard Draktoos voice echoing down the corridor.
"WAAH, GET...OFF...OF...ME!" His voice yelled. "Wait, where are you sticking thaAARRGGHH!"
"Will you keep still?!" A young woman's voice snapped, in a very annoyed tone. "If you just stop fidgeting, then the sooner this will all be over!"
Following the sounds of the comotion, De Menzio made his way down the corridor, passing by the jets of steam from the ruptured pipes, only to get tangled up in the sparking cables that hung down from the ceiling like snakes spitting out electricity. Furiously grumbling in frustration, De Menzio fought his way out from the cables, trying to avoid falling over in the process. As he managed to free himself, he shuffled down a corridor as fast as his legs could move him, his hand waving away the misty smoke that clouded the corridor. Despite his robotic vision, he could hardly see a few feet in front of him, taking care to not trip over anything. If he fell over, which was something he hated, it would take ages for him to push himself back up by the way his joints moved. Turning around a corner, it was then that he saw the most peculiar sight.
Kneeling in front of Draktoo was a very attractive young woman, about twenty years of age and wearing a beutiful set of white flowing Middleraan Senator robes. Her long auburn hair was tied up into two neat coiled buns on each side of her head, giving her a sort of retro 70's sci-fi movie look, jerking her head towards the sound of a metallic clank coming down the corridor, her emerald eyes sharp and alert. With her task done, she pulled the white hood over her head and readied her custom blaster pistol that looked like some sort of hair dryer, silently disappearing into the shadows of the ship. Cautiously heading over to his companion, De Menzio heard Draktoo was grumbling in a very miffed tone.
"Vhat happened?" De Menzio asked, Draktoo turning his dome head to answer.
"Bah, I'll tell you what happened!" He snarled. "There I was, minding my own business, when that blasted princess jumps me and crams a data disk into my driver port! Then she made me record a message to deliver to one General Stevi-Wan Barkinobi."
"Vhere's he dhen?"
"Ironically enough, it turns out he's living on the planet below," Draktoo said, with a slight chuckle. "Looks like the princess planned to pull a fast one over the empire."
"Ah...not zo helpless dhan ve thought," De Menzio said, with a chuckle. "Vell, did you find an escape pod?"
"Wha...ah, yes, the princess said they are just down the corridor. Now let's get outta here before those trigger happy troopers find us!"
With a whirl of his motors, the smaller droid trundled down the corridor, closely followed by De Menzio. Meanwhile, on the ship, things were taking a turn for the worst.
Outside the main command center of the small cruiser, glum GJ guards were lined up against the walls of the corridor, while GWEE storm trooper's kept them under heavy guard. Some soldier's from both sides lay on the floor, either injured or dead from the short but bloody battle that had been waged. Two GWEE officer's, hardened by years of combat experience, stood guard outside the command centre. It seemed like nothing could frighten them, until the atmosphere in the air changed, as the familiar sounds of methodical mechanical breathing filled the air. Marching up the corridor was the tall form of Darth Eddie, slowing making his way into the command centre, the two hardened officer's trembling in terror at his very presence.
Inside the damaged command station, several GWEE technicians were finishing making the scans to the computer databases, four of the ships senior officer's kept under guard until the dark lord could question them. One of the technicians was shoved forward, a look of utmost terror on his face, realizing he was the poor sap chosen to break the bad news. He just hoped he didn't get a broken neck.
"Report dude," Darth Eddie said. "And this better not be some bogus news, man."
"Uh..., I'm afraid it is...uh...'bogus' news sir," He said, sweat dripping from his brow. "We finished scans to the computer but it was already wiped clean. We can't tell if they received any data transmissions or not."
Turning to face the nearest GJ commander, a powerful hand gripped the frightened man's throat, metallic fingers digging into the flesh of the neck as he lifted him up into the air with ease.
"Okay dude, where's the data? Seriously!"
"We...got no...i-idea...what you ...are..." The man wheezed, struggling to breathe.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Eddie snapped. "When GJ forces attacked one of our bases, they made off with practically every single bit of data, including my personal tunes to chillax to! Now...WHERE IS MY AEROSITH MIX TAPE?!"
"Uhm...my lord?" The technician said, risking his life to interrupt his outburst. "I think the mission states we are to find the stolen plans."
"Wha..." Eddie began, turning his head to face the small officer before he remembered what the mission was about. "Oh...yeah. Okay, that too." He then turned to face the poor soul he held in his vice like grip. "Now, where are those plans?!"
"We...received no...transmissions," The officer gasped, while somehow managing to bring a tone of anger in his voice. "This...is a...councilor vessel. Did you not see...our markings? We are...on...a diplomatic mission."
"Dude, that is like the oldest trick in the book!" Eddie snarled. "Now where...is...that...data?!"
The dangling officer's face was slowly turning a shade of blue as the grip slowly got tighter, just barely able to get speak in a weak whisper.
"Only...my superior knows," He gasped, his legs twitching more frantically.
"Wait a sec...this ship bears the crest for the planet of Middleraan," Eddie growled at him. "So...is any of the royal family on board? Who is your passenger?"
The man couldn't answer, the life had already left him but Eddie continued squeeze his throat like a stress ball, a sickening cracking filling the air. With a snarl of rage, he threw the lifeless form of the commander against the wall, GWEE officer's dodging the grusome projectile. Turning to face the rest of the GWEE troops, they stood shaking in their armor as they stared at the gargoyle like, onyx face mask.
"I want you to tear this ship apart, piece by piece, until you find my mix tape!" Eddie barked, suddenly remembering again their mission. "Oh, and those stolen plans. As for any prisoners, I want them alive, SERIOUSLY!"
Snapping to attention, all the GWEE trooper's, except the ones guarding the prisoners, ran out of the control room to find the stolen plans.
The two droids carefully made their way to the escape pods, listening out for any GWEE troops patrolling the ship, not wanting to risk capture. However it was not going well for them as they seemed to have taken a wrong turn.
"Face it, ve're lost," De Menzio said, crossing his arms.
"We are not lost!" Draktoo shot back. "We're...just a little off the right path, that's all."
After a few minutes of travelling, they finally found a row of small escape pods, some already had been jettisoned by fleeing GJ soldiers. Designed to hold several human beings inside the pod, it was not designed for droids, Draktoo furiously grumbling as he had difficulty getting inside. De Menzio had difficulty in getting inside, due to his taller frame and that he wasn't really designed to bend over, barely managing to sit down inside the cramped pod.
"Okay, now...how do we eject this thing again?" Draktoo muttered to himself, as this was a first time for him using a human escape pod. "Uh...let's try this one."
Pressing a button, a small polystyrene cup dropped down from a small dispenser, before a hose descended and poured brown, hot coffee into the cup. With an annoyed snarl, he pressed another button, windscreen wipers swinging back and forth as they cleaned the port window.
"Oh come on!" Draktoo snarled. "This is an escape pod...in space! Why does it need wipers?!"
Hoping third times the charm, he pressed the third button, the door to the escape pod closing. With a victorious laugh coming from the smaller droid, the locking clamps released and the pod blasted off into space, immediately caught in the gravity of the planet below.
On the Lucas class vessel, a GWEE gunner saw the pod launching from the Romano IV, trailing the sights of his laser cannon onto the escape pod.
"Another one, sir," He said to his superior. "Permission to fire?"
His superior glanced down at the digital readout, checking for life signs but the scans reported negative, shaking his head.
"Hold your fire, there's no lifesigns on board," He said to the gunner. "Must have been a faulty circuit, probably from the damage done to the ship."
Inside the pod, looking out of the window, the enemy vessel grew smaller as they spiralled down to the planet. Glancing at the smaller droid, De Menzio wondered how to pass the time.
"Hmm...wanna play twenty questions?"
Three GWEE troopers carefully made their way down the maintenance corridors of the ship, investigating a suspicious noise they heard coming from the shadows. Blasters at the ready, they trained their sights at the shadows, looking for any sign of movement. Finger on the trigger, Princess Kimila readied herself to fight her way out, leaning out slightly to see the three troopers. Taking a death breath, she swung out of her hiding place, bringing her blaster up to aim.
"There she is!" One of the GWEE troopers yelled. "Set for stu..."
He didn't finish that sentence, a bolt of crimson energy rocketted out of the princess's blaster, striking him dead on in the chest. His cry was cut short, crumpling to the floor as the other two took aim, adjusting the settings on their blasters. Turning to fall back, Kimala ran down the corridor, attempting to make another ambush on more unsuspecting GWEE troopers. A shot rang out and she cried out as a bolt hammered into her back, falling onto the metal grating, her pistol still firmly gripped in her hand. Swiftly moving in, one of the troopers touched her neck, checking for a pulse, smiling under his helmet when he felt steady one.
"She'll be fine," He said, while grabbing her wrists and bringing them behind her back, securing them with handcuffs. "Inform Lord Eddie that we have a prisoner."
Hoisting the young woman up, he carried her down the corridor bridal style, while his partner contacted command. They knew that this was good news for the empire.
They had captured the princess.
Hey there everyone, this is Stormchaser90. First of all, thanks for reading this first chapter for this new fanfic. This is my response to a T-Rex's request for a KP/Star Wars fusion so I thought, okay sounds like fun.
Now expect to see a lot of inside jokes about the Star Wars franchise, blended with a mix of humor from the show Kim Possible. So leave a review and tell me what you think, I would like to hear the response this would get.