Disclaimer: I do own Rurouni Kenshin; in fact, Watsuki (that damned bastard!) stole it from me and called it his! How rude! *please look up "sarcasm" in your Merriam-Webster dictionary. Thank you.

Author's Notes: Heelllooooo! This is my first attempt at writing RK fanfiction, and what do I do? I write something that has probably been done a million times over, but I couldn't get the idea out of my head. If these scenes somehow resemble something you/someone you know has written before, it is completely accidental and I apologize for the similarity. I include both original scenes *stifling laughter* and altered scenes from the anime. Enjoy! And review, of course :)

Dedications: Dedicated to my lovely friend Kitsune no Alz, who writes wonderful fanfic :) She sparked the idea with a parody somewhat similar to the first scene. Arigatou, Alz-chan!

Scene 1

Shishio: *feral grin at Kenshin, who he's dangling in the air due to the great difference in his and Shishio's height* Will you also become my prey? *bites a great chunk out of Kenshin's shoulder*

Kenshin: *screams like a girl because getting bitten out of is very painful, and because his seiyuu is...um...a woman*

Shishio: *chewing happily* Raw meat...yummy...

Kenshin: *stops screaming* You bastard! *grabs Shishio by the shoulders and takes a bite out of HIS shoulder*

Shishio: *screams like a man because...uh...his seiyuu's a man*

Kenshin: *gnawing thoughtfully* Tastes like beef-jerky.

Sano: *mutters* Cannibalistic freaks.

Scene 2

Shishio: *walks down catwalk, strutting his stuff* I'm too sexy for my bandages, too sexy for my bandages...*pelvic thrust*

Kenshin: What the fuck de gozaru yo?!

Scene 3

Kaoru: *absentmindedly* Kenshin, will you please go buy some tofu? *turns away to go back into the dojo*

Kenshin: *grabs her by the waist* Come back, bitch! *kisses her passionately, tongue and all*

Kaoru: *wide eyes* Ken...shin...

Kenshin: *wiggles his eyebrows, amber eyes glowing* Battousai wants to play!

A/N: Hahahahahaha! *cough* Sorry. I apologize if making Kenshin curse so much offends you, but I find it rather amusing. Go Kenshin! Let loose the potty mouth!

Scene 4

Kenshin: Kaoru-dono, this unworthy one just wants to protect you, de gozaru yo.

Kaoru: *sighs* I know, Kenshin, it's just that...*trails off*

Kenshin: What is it, de gozaru yo?

Kaoru: *gathering courage to speak of her feelings* Kenshin, I...

Kenshin: Kaoru-dono, you can tell me anything, de gozaru yo...de gozaru yo...de gozaru yo...

Kaoru: *head snaps up* What the heck?! *looks suspiciously at the embarrassed rurouni* What's going on, Kenshin?

Kenshin: *sheepishly takes out little recorder, which is chanting a very familiar phrase* "de gozaru yo...de gozaru yo...de gozaru yo..." *laughs unconvincingly* I-I guess it ran out of batteries, Kaoru-dono.

Kaoru: Kenshin no baka! *smashes handy shinai into his head*

Kenshin: *eyes all swirly-eyed* Orororororo...

*in the background* "de gozaru yo...de gozaru yo...de gozaru yo..."

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A/N: Ooookkaayy, that's enough for now :) How was it? Funny at all? If so, please leave a review so I know weather or not to continue this insanity. Arigatou!