do the dance
A HariPo oneshot
Note: The Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not me. This pairing was discovered by me, so please gimme a little mention if you write them! Thanks! It is one of many of Mew and Mor's Weird Pairings, most of which you may find in the M&MWP forum. Check out and join the forum FUN! Read, review, and enjoy! *Written as a birthday present for autumn midnights. Femslash for my lil' FFN sis! XD Also, this is partially inspired by the song "Fix You" by The Offspring; I strongly suggest listening to it while reading. :')
She toys with the mug Lorcan's just given her. It's full of warmed butterbeer, a favorite of hers, and she knows he's trying to comfort her. Still, her drink remains untouched as she pulls her knees up to her chest and rests one cheek on them. She hates how things have gone today.
"It was just another fight," Lorcan assures her. "You two will make up before anyone can even ask what went wrong."
Roxanne opens and closes her mouth, unsure of what to say. Lorcan's right—the smartarse is always right, damn it all—but Roxanne wishes it were actually that simple. With every new annoyance, it takes more and more effort to heal whatever happens with her and Lily.
Lorcan doesn't add anything else. Instead, he sits in the chair across her, across the coffee table, and picks up the Prophet to read while he sips his coffee. He takes the bitter drink black, at its bitterest, and it's a tiny thing for which Roxanne has always rather admired him. He doesn't dilute it with anything—no milk, cream, or sugar—and that to her seems courageous, almost powerful. It's as though he's demanding every last drop of caffeine to get him through his day, and every bit of the drug does go into him, does push him along.
But Roxanne feels that she has to be pulled into action too much of the time. That's why she's a coward. She'd never drink black coffee, and she never drinks coffee at all. She prefers to sit with her childish, warmed butterbeer, waiting for a new apology to form in her head before she next sees Lily.
And she knows that Lorcan knows she's trying to think up a new way to say "sorry," because he knows her best. Even though his position is that Roxanne's not always the one at fault, he knows she'll be the one to apologize first. Then she and Lily will be back together and Lorcan will be at arm's length and not even close enough to kiss Roxanne's tears away.
Roxanne loves that about him. It's almost enough to make her wish that she didn't love Lily as she does.
Back at the apartment she shares with Roxanne, Lily growls to herself and tidies up. She knows it's her own bloody fault that the loveseat got splintered and the couch upturned. It's also her fault that the coatrack fractured into a million pieces and that the two flower vases ended up shattered on both the rug and the hardwood floor. She hates her bad habit of always having her wand in hand, especially during an argument.
There's a knock, and Scorpius lets himself in before Lily even has the chance to invite him. He surveys the wreckage and whistles lowly. "Cripes, Lils… I dunno if a hurricane ever hit England before now."
She fixes him with a glare. Obviously Lorcan sent him a message. The two are good friends, but they have an ulterior motive in being the ones the two witches go to when they're at odds. "I don't need a shoulder to cry on, Scorpius."
He shrugs and places his cloak on the kitchen counter that juts into the entryway—it's the only logical and undamaged place to put it. "I know. You don't cry."
"I don't. And don't mock me."
"I'm not mocking you," he assures with a groan. "I just came to see if I could help."
She grimaces, but she's already been cleaning for an hour and still the place looks like a disaster zone. She doesn't ask for his help, which he correctly interprets as an okay to go ahead and cast some spells. They work in several minutes of silence, which Lily breaks by saying, "She started it."
Scorpius is smart enough to keep his mouth shut.
"She wouldn't listen to my plans. I mean, she's known for years that I planned on going to Romania to work with Uncle Charlie and Aunt Miraphina. I love dragons. I've done all my studying. I got the good marks I needed. I've even done an extra three years' studying to delay my departure, to stay here with her. But—" Lily's words get caught in her throat. "But she knows she can't come with me. It's not safe for her. And what would the family think? They'd finally know about us."
For a while, Scorpius doesn't answer. Only after there are flowers once again in both vases—orchids for Roxanne and Casablanca lilies for Lily—does he provide his opinion. It's an opinion which Lily has heard a thousand times, and never has she agreed with it, despite seeing reason in it. "Then don't let them find out. Better yet, don't let there be anything to find out." Scorpius fixes his gray eyes on Lily and says, nonchalantly, "Marry me."
Any other girl would turn pink and giggly hearing such words from a nice, handsome, well-off guy like Scorpius. Lily, of course, scoffs and rolls her eyes. "As if my reply will be any different this time, Scor."
Lily grips the hilt of her wand and puts her hair up. Then she goes to let it down, because she forgot that Scorpius loves seeing her dark red hair up, and she's not looking to please him. "No, Scorpius."
His voice changes, gains confidence. "That's not a very strong 'no,' Lily. And why can't you look me in the eye this time?"
She makes a beeline for her bedroom (a room always shared with Roxanne), but Scorpius catches her wrist and drags her into his arms. Lily resists, hitting his chest again and again, but Scorpius withstands it until she finally tires and cries.
"It's all right, Lils, it's all right…," he coos.
Lily Luna Potter does not cry. But "Lils" does.
Late the next morning, Roxanne wakes because her back aches. She fell asleep last night on Lorcan's couch, and her face now feels cruddy. She wipes it and recognizes the feeling of dried tear tracks. Roxanne scowls…and then a blanket falls off her.
Oh. Lorcan draped it over her before he went to bed last night.
"Lorc?" she calls. No, she's being silly. He's gone to work by now, surely. Lorcan is a punctual man, a serious man. He used to be such a joker in their schooldays, but he matured towards the end, because he's serious about becoming a Healer. If he's a Healer, then he can be his parents' personal nurse, because Luna and Rolf often land themselves in danger when they roam the world.
How he manages to have a personal life or fit in Roxanne's wailing, she doesn't know. Besides, it's not as though he'll stick around once he's got his medical license.
Roxanne frowns and swings her legs around so that she can stand. That's when she notices the smell of food in his kitchen, because her stomach growls in response. No, he couldn't be…could he…?
It's true, though. He's still there. Even though it's past ten-thirty, he's still home with her. He's humming to himself as he fries sausage and boils some eggs. It's not the healthiest of meals, but it's her favorite. Lorcan asked her mum about that a long time ago, but he's only ever cooked it a few times before. Plus, he adds a dash of soy sauce to the eggs, making them deliciously salty, and Roxanne loves that he can make her favorite things…more favorite.
"Good morning," she says softly.
He doesn't look over his shoulder, because he's trying to keep the grease from splattering and scalding him. "'Morning, Roxie."
"You should be at work, you know."
"Eh, I slept in. So I figured I might as well show up at lunchtime, y'know?"
"You'll get in trouble."
He plates the sausage and glances at her. One blonde eyebrow is raised. "Really, Roxanne? Me, the star student, in trouble?" He doesn't chuckle or snicker. He just grins.
His grin is like warm butterbeer.
Lorcan takes the eggs off the stovetop, wincing as he quickly drains the hot water and then fishes the eggs out of the pot with a thin tea towel. "Hot, hot, hot!"
Roxanne chuckles and walks to him, holding his hands in hers. "Here. The trick is to keep the area warm—don't put cold water on it right away."
He pouts at her. "I know that… I'm the bloody Healer, for Merlin's sake. How do you know that?"
"Really, Lorcan? All the explosions with Freddie and me and you don't think us disastrous Weasley twins wouldn't learn any first-aid?" She hesitates, and then she kisses his fingertips. "There. All better."
His pout is genuine this time as they stare at each other. It's so evident in his eyes, his love for her. When and how did he fall for her so hard? Why couldn't she have noticed that before she fell for Lily?
Maybe it's not too late. If Lily's trying to end things with her, then maybe Roxanne needs to rearrange her life. Besides, looking at Lorcan… The bloke's been hopelessly in love with her for years. Him, the smart one, the one any other girl would want—he's only ever had eyes for her. How it must feel to see the object of his affections run into another's arms time after time!
She stands on her tiptoes and kisses him. It's so unlike kissing Lily. It's a new experience. But it's also so easy to do, because she knows him so well and loves him dearly.
It's like warm butterbeer.
And maybe she can live with that forever.
It's early the next morning when Lily picks up her head. It's so quiet in the apartment that she awoke to the sound of falling petals. She looks across at the two vases. One of the orchids has dropped two of its petals and is a step away from dying. Lily feels oddly sad looking at it, as though something else is disappearing, too.
The feeling of something else disappearing creates panic within her, and Lily quietly whines as she looks around her, but—
Ah. Scorpius is right there beside her, still asleep on the couch. Judging by the placement of his arms, she fell asleep crying in his arms last night.
Her panic is replaced with embarrassment. She has cried before, but never like that, and never in front of Scorpius before. How dare he make her walls come down!
A nasty thought in her head is brutally poetic as it makes the analogy between her torn walls and the dying orchid, but she brushes it off.
"Oi. Oi," she repeats, shoving his arm to wake him.
His snoring stops as he smacks his lips together, drowsy but turning alert. "Hmm? Oh… Hi."
She shoots him a look. "Hi" is all he has to say… Go figure, coming from the man who said, without pretense, that she should marry him. Proposals are supposed to be romantic. Doesn't he know that? "Get up. Go to work. I need to pack."
Now he's totally awake. "Lily, you should at least make up with her."
Lily stands beside the couch, looking down at him. The fact that he can still insist that after all she's said to him, after all that would never happen between them…
He's Plan B, but Lily's never seen a better second plan before.
Scorpius sees the change in her eyes, and he's more concerned than elated. "You really…"
"If you ask me if I'm sure, then I'm going to change my mind," she cuts him off. "But I'm sure."
Scorpius' eyes widen, and he waits in the living room while she busies herself with little tasks. When she returns to the room, he says, "I'll do it properly next time. I'll plan it out and everything. We could eat somewhere nice, and we could dress up, and I'll remember the ring—"
She raises one eyebrow. "You already have the ring?"
"For two years," he confirms.
Godric, how long has he been after her, anyway? Didn't Al ever convince him to leave her be? Still, it's an endearing gesture, and Lily suddenly can't stand still. She marches over to him and tugs on his hand until he's up and looking down into her eyes. "All right, then, lover boy. Let me try something."
Her kiss silences him…but the silence ends up filled with moans and groans, and sending him to work, back to Auror training, becomes the last thing on her mind.
Without the silence, neither of them hears the head of the orchid snap and fall to the floor.
She is slow and careful with his tender heart. She actually does know what it's like to love someone and have them not love you back the same way. Well, she did until Lily confirmed that she was romantically attracted to Roxanne.
Roxanne thinks of the first time Lily told her that she loved her. "You're so Roxie, y'know?" fifteen-year-old Lily had said to fifteen-year-old Roxanne while they played an absurd game of Hide-And-Go-Use-A-Sneak-O-Scope-To-Find-Everyone with their cousins and siblings.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Roxanne had asked.
"It means that you're unique…and all I can think about," Lily had said. Then she'd rolled over on top of Roxanne and kissed her, pushing Roxanne's head into the soft dirt. Lily's hand had almost made it to pinch Roxanne's chest when they'd been found by Freddie, who dumbly had given them enough time to straighten themselves out before the others arrived. Of course, since Lily could never keep her hands to herself, Freddie was only the first to know, and eventually Lucy, Louis, and Hugo found out, in that order. But they'd stopped the secret there, until Lorcan confessed to Roxanne the next school year and Scorpius demanded to know why Lily wouldn't even go with him on his last Hogsmeade trip that same year. But only those six knew, and still it was too much to handle, sometimes.
Roxanne thinks about the first time Lily actually said the words "I love you." It was the night after their last exam in seventh year, in their room in the castle, with no one else around.
"How do you think you did with Potions?" Roxanne had asked.
"Failed miserably," Lily had replied.
"Ha, yeah, right! That means you did fine."
"I love you, Roxie."
"Yeah, yeah…" Then Roxanne had looked over at Lily and realized she was serious. She'd paled. "Wait, what?"
"I love you, Roxie. You don't judge me for anything and yet you think the sky's my limit." Lily had snuck up to Roxanne's bed then, and kissed her softly, gently. "And I love it when you're doing your best, trying to match me. You are my match."
It was a tame action. On the train ride back, though, they'd gone wild like two hippogriffs in heat and fiddled each other in a locked compartment for two. It wasn't the best experience, and the sex later got better, but it's a memory Roxanne recalls fondly.
Roxanne holds both the memories in the front of her mind when she, weeks later, lay in bed with Lorcan, holding on to him for dear life. She cherishes her memories with Lily, but she feels as though she can give this new love her all. Besides, it's nice to be the one to return the love, and Lorcan has never been happier.
It's a shock when Lily gets married. She didn't do it as a stunt, though. Scorpius has bent over backwards to provide her with support and everything she might ever want, even though she's told him that she doesn't need to be treated like a princess.
Still, it's nice to be treated like a princess from time to time.
Roxanne shows up at the ceremony, Lorcan with her. Lily's heart freezes for a moment, and her vision drowns out everything that's not Roxanne.
But then the moment fades and Lily says "I do" to Scorpius and a new life begins for her.
Lily thinks briefly of the time she'd asked Roxanne if they'd ever marry or do something permanent like it. It was after they'd moved into their apartment three months after Hogwarts.
"Dunno," Roxanne had said. "This feels permanent enough to me."
At the time, the comment had warmed Lily, but now she thinks of it and feels as though it was a half-arsed reply. Her belly grows cold to think of all the times when Roxanne didn't seem to give them her all.
But her belly feels warm when she and Scorpius have their raunchy honeymoon night. Despite his lovely…ah, "swordsmanship" and healthy ejaculations, she doesn't tell him that it'll probably only ever be sex, sex, and more sex. She loves him, but her heart isn't entirely in it.
Oh. So that's how she'd made Roxanne feel.
A year after Lily marries Scorpius, Roxanne marries Lorcan.
Two years later, neither couple has any children.
Three years later, they still are without kids, even as others in their generation begin to have families of their own.
Four, five, six, seven— It begins to feel tiresome, these lives built upon lies. Roxanne has come to love Lorcan more than ever, but she's also come to understand that she just can't tell her heart to love him more than she loves Lily.
To add to her stress, Lorcan is almost never home. While she manages the shop with her father and brother, Lorcan is away most of the time, travelling the world with his parents. She knew it'd happen, that that was the life he had planned on. But once she'd been his top priority. Now that he's got the girl, he doesn't seem to know what to do with her, so she's fallen off his list of concerns, and that hurts.
Roxanne doesn't know what to do, either. Divorce? But that takes too much effort.
While working on a new Wheeze, Roxanne stares out the window of the shop and looks up the street, to where the Leaky Cauldron awaits. She wonders what Lily would do in her shoes. And she thinks that butterbeer is the last thing she needs right now.
They give each other heart attacks.
When he's not thrusting into her and she's not sucking him dry, they're always fighting. It was good in the beginning, when their emotions were calmer. But they've passed the seven-year-itch and are heading for the ten-year-bitch.
"It's stupid to stand in the line of fire against some Dark wizard wannabe!"
"Says you! Ha, do you even hear yourself? You LITERALLY stand in the line of fire, knowingly working with those monsters!"
"They're animals, Scorpius, just like you and me! They get angry!"
"Just like you and me now? Thank you for calling me a beast, Lily, thank you very much!"
"Holy Merlin—go get laid, you little pussy!"
"Because I refuse to sleep with anyone besides my wife!"
"Well then ask your hand for a good night because I'm not in the mood!"
All Lily can think is how good it is that they've not brought a kid into this cluster-fuck they call a life. Still, she misses how she and Scorpius used to be, before they married, and she wishes they could go back to that life.
But will he let her leave? What will their families think? Should Lily just move to Romania permanently?
Lily comes out of her bedroom to find a gorgeous bouquet of Casablanca lilies waiting for her, and her heart sinks. Scorpius is trying, he really is.
But Lily wonders what Roxanne would do in her shoes. And she wishes that he'd brought her orchids instead.
They're old. Plain and simple, they're old. They're in their early forties, and too many accidents have aged them, Lily with her dragons and Roxanne with her pranks.
Lorcan was kind and divorced Roxanne quietly. The family's now written her off as the old maid in the family. She'll be the chief manager while Freddie works under her and supports his own family.
Scorpius sought an annulment. He wished for the old times, too, and now he and Lily are the best they've ever been.
Roxanne keeps to the shop. She lives above it, because she likes to drown in her work.
Lily moves to Romania and rarely comes home. The joke is that she can't come home because she's sprouted wings and a tail. Of course, she was born breathing fire.
Roxanne misses that fire.
Lily misses Roxanne trying to keep up with her.
But Roxanne is a coward and doesn't take any action.
Lily is bullheaded and only knows action. She doesn't think it through when she visits London for the first time in decades. But she makes a beeline for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, even though it's closed on Mondays.
Lily knocks and doesn't wait for an answer. She barges in and closes the door behind her. The silence of the shop is like that time before, with the dying orchid. Lily knows she doesn't want to see a flower wilt ever again, even though it's bound to happen.
"Roxanne?" Lily calls. It sounds so weird, to hear her voice be so weak and old. When did she become like this?
"One moment," Roxanne replies, her voice strong and businesslike. Oh. Whatever strength Lily had, Roxanne's found it. But when Roxanne appears at the top of the stairs and recognizes Lily, that strength returns to the latter.
"Hey…" Roxanne doesn't look well. She looks ready to break.
"It's been a while."
Lily frowns, trying to decide on how this conversation should go. "You… You've got saggy boobs now, y'know."
Roxanne gives her a dry look. "Is that a bad dragon tattoo on your arm, or am I seeing a happy Buddha?"
Lily's frown becomes a grimace. "I suppose we've both had our fill of dicks?"
Roxanne blushes. "Lily!"
"Oh, whoops. I didn't mean penises. I meant, mean guys who don't know how they should treat us."
The dark-skinned witch sighs. "As if we treat each other any better."
"I'd like to think so, yeah."
"We can't go back to how things were. You have your job and your life—"
"And you have yours, yeah." Lily gazes at her head on. It's been years since she's done that to anyone, and she's flooded with all the emotions that only Roxanne could ever make her feel. "But we won't know until we try."
Roxanne stares back for a moment, a glimmer of shock in her muddy blue eyes. "Are you saying…you're sorry?"
"More than twenty years later, yeah."
"You can't win me so easily," Roxanne remarks, coming downstairs to join her.
Lily begins to feel young again, and wild, as Roxanne nears her. They're not perfect together, but they can't make anyone else work with either one of them either. "I know I can't. But I can try."
And as Lily cups Roxanne's head and tilts it back for a very loving kiss, Roxanne wishes to tell Lily that Lorcan had been right all along. They were making up before anyone even knew things had gone wrong between them. Of course, maybe the family just wouldn't care anymore, just how close these two screw-ups could be.
Strange. *lol* XD I had fun writing it, but my mind was a bit all over the place… ;D I like the kind of brutal words I chose in this fic, how raw it felt. It did justice for this silent war of theirs, because—as stated—few in the family knew about them. It was sad to develop Scor and Lorc the way I did, because I love them (and Lorcrox ;P), but Lilu and Roxie had to come together in the end, albeit imperfectly, y'know? XD (As Lilu would say!) This also totally ran away from me, whoops… 0.0 Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESSLA! :333
Thanks for reading and please review!