LSE // 7-26-02
(Rapunzel, Gundam Wing Style)
rated: PG - mild language, situations, naked Relena *scream*
shounen-ai/AU/_OOC_

Rapunzel, Gundam Wing Style




With a sigh, Quatre looked out her cottage window. She could see the
grand castle and, beyond the wall, a lush garden full of pretty
flowers. Her beloved husband, Trowa came in from a hard day's work
doing something that involved hard work and she served him stew.

"Trowa, darling...I'm expecting," she announced, once they settled
into eating the stew.

"Expecting? Expecting what?"

"A baby, darling."

"A baby?" Trowa frowned, "Whose baby? Why are people giving us
babies?"

Quatre blushed and whispered into her husband's ear, even though
there was no reason to whisper.

Trowa stared at her, "You mean that stuff makes babies?" He asked in
surprise. "But what about the stork?"

"Darling, that's just in fairy tales."

Since neither of them appreciated the rich irony in Quatre's
statement, they settled instead for a celebration for their first
child.

However, unbeknownst to the happy couple, the grand castle the wife
had been admiring was home to a wicked sorceress, Relena. Relena,
being an old hag, had no children of her own. She decided to cast a
spell over the wife that would cause her to crave the purple-
flowering plant duozel that grew only in her garden.

That very next day, Quatre was sitting outside, looking at the garden,
and felt a strange craving for Duozel. Thinking little of it, she
went inside and ate more stew, because stew was easy to make.

Soon, however, Quatre began to long for the plant more and more. She
began to feel ill and begged Trowa to bring her duozel leaves.

"But what will you do with the leaves?"

"I'll make a salad."

"That's disgusting."

"Just get the damn leaves."

That night, Trowa climbed over the wall and stole fresh green duozel
leaves. The wife placed them on a plate and then ate them, declaring
it the best thing she'd ever eaten. "You've brought me duozel, but
now the taste haunts me. Please, I need more of the delicious
leaves..."

Reluctantly, Trowa went back over the wall and stole more of the
leaves, night after night. Of course, he could have been smart and
asked the owner of the castle first, but no one ever said being smart
was a strong point of woodsmen, or whatever it was he did for a
living.

One evening, when the moon was full, which in fairy-tale-time is
every time they need a full moon, he found the dark sorceress before
him.

"Thief! How dare you steal from me? I will smash your bones to make
bread!"

Trowa simply stared at her.

Relena flushed, "Ignore that! Anyway, I shall kill you!"

Trowa fell to his knees before her, "Wait! It's all my wife's fault!
She's expecting and wants your duozel and I tried to tell her we
shouldn't but she's just so damn sexy I..."

"Silence! Now, what is she expecting?" Relena asked, even though she
already knew.

"Uhm, one of those small things that make noise."

"Tomogotchi?"

"Kinda. Only it's human."

"Baby?"

"Sure, one of those things. You know how they're made?"

Relena turned red, "Yes, now shut up! Why shouldn't I kill you?"

"Think of my poor child, growing up with a father to do some sort of
hard work that earns enough money for my wife to make stew, even
though she hasn't made stew in along time so I have to eat the
furniture. Chairs aren't tasty."

Relena frowned, "Hmm... Well," she said, her manner changing and her
voice softening, "You may have all the duozel you wish, on one
condition. When the child is born, you must give it to me!"

Trowa blinked in surprise, "I don't know..."

"Go home and ask your wife."

So Trowa went to his cottage and Quatre saw he had no duozel with
him and pouted. "But, honey, the lady at the castle said we'd have
to give her our child if we wanted the leaves!"

"She actually said that?"

Trowa nodded and Quatre looked thoughtful, "Well, we can always have
another child."

Trowa gaped at her, "What?"

His wife shrugged, "Surely the owner of the beautiful castle is a
great lady, and she take good care of our child."

In the next few weeks, the wife grew stronger. She was given all
the duozel she wished and soon she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
Trowa held the fuzzy pink think that made noise, although currently
it was in silent mode, and gazed into the violet eyes.

"Oh, he looks just like duozel..." Quatre said, licking her lips
hungrily.

Trowa carefully shifted the child to his other side, away from his
crazy wife. "What shall we name him?"

"Duozel..."

"That's a girl's name. Let's name him Fluffy."

Quatre frowned, "How about just Duo?"

Trowa nodded, holding his child up, "Hello, Duo."

Suddenly, the cottage door flew open and the evil sorceress Relena
stood there, "Ohohoho!" She said, walking over, her blonde hair
tossed back over one shoulder. "Now you must make good on your
promise and give me the child!"

Trowa offered out Duo, who turned off silent mode and began to cry,
"His name is Duo."

"I still get duozel, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Relena said, snatching the child up. "Now I will
the child all to myself!" she cackled, running back to her castle.
Trowa looked heartbrokenly out the window while Quatre glomped
through the duozel.

For sixteen years, Relena kept Duo in her castle and the boy grew to
be very beautiful. His eyes with the same purple as the flowers he
was named for and his hair was a deep chestnut. Relena never allowed
Duo to cut his hair and soon he wore it constantly in a long braid.

"Stepmother," Duo said, tripping over his braid for the umpteenth
time that day, "Stepmother, can't we please cut my hair?"

"No," Relena said, grabbing the end of the plaited hair. She winded
up atop his head like a crown, "There. Now you look like a
Princess...I mean, Prince."

On Duo's sixteenth birthday, she moved him into a secluded tower.
There were no stairs or a door, and damned if it makes sense how they
got up there in the first place, but they did. There was a small
window at the very top in the only room the tower had.

Relena kept Duo up there, for whatever reason, but whenever she
wanted to visit, she called, "Duo! Yo, Duo! Let down your hair!"

The long chestnut braid would fall from the window and Duo would bite
his lip in pain as Relena hauled herself up to the window. Of course,
she could always just use whatever she had in the first place to get
Duo up there, but who needs logic?

Ever time Relena visited the by, she would comb and braid his hair
and ask, "Who have you seen since I was last here?"

And Duo would always answer, "No one, Stepmother." For who would the
poor, horny teenager see while locked up in the tower?

One night, Duo sat beside his window, looking out at the stars, when
handsome, young Prince Heero came riding through the forest. He heard
Duo's sweet voice singing a beautiful song and went to investigate.

"Seventy-one bottles of beer on the wall, seventy-one bottles of
beer..." Duo warbled out, scaring away the birds that perched on the
roof.

Prince Heero followed the song until he found the tower, which was
miraculously far enough away for him not to see it, but close enough
for Duo's voice to carry. Anyway. he couldn't see a way into the
tower and decided to pitch camp and wait till morning.

At daybreak he was awakened by the screech of Relena's voice
shouting, "Duo! Yo, Duo! Let down your hair!"

Heero was amazed to see a chestnut braid tumble down from the tower,
and even more amazed to see the ugly sorceress hauling herself up
it. So that's how you get in the tower, he thought to himself. Of
course, a ladder would have worked, but no one ever listens to logic.

Impatiently, he waited until Relena left before he ran over to the
tower and called up, "Duo! Yo, Duo! Let down your hair!"

He tried to pitch his voice to match Relena's, but it was useless.
However, Duo was so surprised to hear a sexy boy's voice calling to
him that he immediately let the braid fall out of the window. With
growing anticipation, he waited as the boy climbed up his braid and
appeared at the window.

Duo stared at the vision crouched there in his window and nearly
swooned. Likewise, Heero marveled at the gorgeous young boy he'd
found. They fell in love at first sight, and even though they were
only sixteen, they swore to run away together.

"I'll come tonight with a ladder."

"A what?"

"A ladder. That you climb."

"I wish Relena would discover one of those. My head starts to hurt.
You have any idea how much this braid weighs?"

Heero shrugged and gave his love a quick grope, "Soon you'll be free,"
he promised, starting to leave. He looked down at the ground, a
looooong ways away, and back at Duo. "Would you mind...?"

With a sigh, Duo walked over and let his hair tumble free. "Hurry
back!" he called as Heero ran off towards the forest. Where was he
going to find a ladder?

The following morning, when Relena came to visit Duo, she asked, "Who
have you seen, Duo, since I was last here?"

"Oh, the usual, Stepmother."

Relena raised one eyebrow.

"A really hott, that's with two ts, not one, prince. Oh, my, he's
sooo sexy. I mean! Uhm... No one but you, Stepmother..."

Relena flew into a fit, ranting and raving about the dangers of hott
and sexy princes, all while secretly plotting to steal this hott and
sexy prince for herself. She grabbed Duo and SNIP SNIP! The braid
fell to the floor and Duo stared at it in shock.

"You cut my braid! My braid!"

"Yeah, so?!" Relena cried, and she took Duo off to the most deserted
place in the whole world and left him there. Somehow, she managed to
do this all in one day. And she can't even get herself up into a
tower with climbing up a braid...

When night came and Heero arrived, he called up to Duo, "Hey sexy,
let's see some hair!"

Relena half-closed her eyes and let out a slight purring noise. His
voice was sexy and hott. She tossed the braid down and waited for
Heero to climb up.

Heero stared in shock when Relena was there and not Duo. "Uhm... Hi,
I'm from Wufei's Hand Creams, may I speak to the lady of the
house...?" He asked, putting on his most charming smile.

Relena dragged him in my his collar and slowly began to remove her
clothes. Heero recoil with a scream, which turned into a
bloodcurdling shriek when Relena's underwear hit the floor.

"My eyes!" He screamed, clawing blindly towards the window, "My eyes!
Oh, God, my eyes!"

"Come back, I have a teddy!"

With another horrified scream, Heero threw himself out the window and
fell like a rock to the ground. Fortunately, he was unhurt. He stood
and dusted himself off, but discovered he could no longer see.

Lost and blind, he stumbled away to wander hopelessly in search of
Duo. Why he didn't just go back to his castle and get help, plus
people could actually see, we'll never know.

Years passed until Heero came to the most deserted place in the world.
He heard a voice mutilating the familiar tune he'd heard so many
years before. "Twenty-eight bottles of beer on the wall, twenty-eight
bottles of beer..."

Heero stumbled around until he found Duo, who happily embraced him.

"Hey, wait... How many fingers am I holding up?" Duo asked, flipping
him the bird.

"Two?"

"Oh, my God, you're blind! Although I should have guessed from that
from your outfit. Hel-lo, can we say coordinated prints?"

Heero mumbled something about nekkid and Relena, and Duo gave a
shudder and shook his head sadly. Duo's hair had grown out to a waist-
length braid by this time and as he shook his head, the braid flew
around and smacked Heero across the eyes.

Heero jumped up, "I can see!" He yelled happily.

"Yay!" Duo yelled, hugging him fiercely.

Heero looked down at himself, "Oh, my God, this outfit is so tacky!"

Prince Heero led Duo back to his kingdom where they were welcomed
with much rejoicing. At last the were free of the wicked Relena, and
they lived out the rest of their lives together in love.


Epilogue:

Quatre soon discovered she would be rather be a he and had a sex-
change, which suited Trowa just fine. Quatre also joined duozel-eaters
anonymous. He's doing much better now. Just don't touch his duozel.

Trowa was giving a Tomogotchi.

Relena lived a miserable life.

Heero and Duo had many lemony good times together. Like bunnies.


Moral: Never lock horny teenage boys into tall towers.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Author's Notes: I just needed some fluffiness after writing an angst-
filled epic like "Completing the Silence." This 'fic was a load of
fun to write. Thanks to "Little Golden Books" and Marianna Mayer for
writing Rapunzel, and my brother for reading it to me when I was
little. I'm aware I wrote everyone OOC. VERY, very, very OOC.

Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!
copyright 2002 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.
LSE - "Violet" (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)
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