I feel… No, I shouldn't. I already feel too much.

Disclaimer: Please don't hurt me.


Sweden glares at his paperwork with the intensity of a thousand burning celestial bodies.


After living with him for centuries, Finland has no trouble recognizing the undertone of annoyance in Sweden's grunts, despite being in a very special state of mind. He enters the room with an empty bottle of vodka and a genius plan to distract Sweden from his incessant workaholic habits, a plan that is quickly derailing from the look of the latter's constipated expression.

"Sve? Is everything okay?"

Sweden sighs and tentatively wheels his chair around. "'s kay. M'people tryna do crazy th'ngs again. Couple wanna name th' son Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvcl mnckssqlbb11116."

Finland looks like all his childhood dreams have just been realized.

This is exactly what Sweden was afraid of.

"M'bannin' it."


"M'namin' him Albin. 'S more sensible."

"What?! That is such a positively boring—nooooooooooooooooooo!"

Finland clutches his heart as Sweden scratches a red line across the string of vowel-less impertinence.

"I hate you," he sniffs, snatching the paper from his hands and caressing the letters in a way that Sweden will never, ever be caressed. Ever. "You should never be allowed name a child again. I bet Denmark thinks that Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvcl mnckssqlbb11116 is awesome."

"'s Denmark. I'll get 'ver it."

Finland glares and brandishes his empty vodka bottle. "I'm going to rename Sealand Aäeiiuuååaoiyyyyaaaööiåoueiå oeöiaaiåuu99994," he threatens, "so that Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvcl mnckssqlbb11116 will never not have vowels again."

"Fin, 's not compl'ment'ry genetic codes. M'think—"

"No!" Finland points it at him accusingly. "You can't tell me what to do, you snobby, pretentious IKEA-ABBA-rainbow generator! You may have done it two hundred years ago but you will never do it again! Never! SUOMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

The IKEA-ABBA-rainbow generator sighs, swiping the vodka bottle from his hand. "Go home Fin, yer drunk."


Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvcl mnckssqlbb11116. True story. Search it up.


I really did want to make a complementary name but there weren't enough vowels to match the consonants so I just made it kind of complementary. /bionerdmoment.

"Thanks for wasting two minutes of my life, asshole."

Yes, yes, you're very welcome. :)