First of all i wanted to thank you for your reviews. It´s good to know you like the story so far.
Lisbet Adair i really appreciate your tips and I tried to change the things you told me. So I hope it´s easierer to read now.
And now enjoy chapter 4
´Freak`, that's what Gary thought about himself. His mirror image was much worse than he thought it would be. He had several burn marks on both sides of his cheeks and his whole chin was covered with one. He also had several bruises all over his face. The only parts on his face which weren´t damaged were his eyes. He stared into the mirror and couldn´t find a word.
He wanted to scream or cry or something like that, to feel better, but he had learnt that letting go off emotions wouldn´t fix any problems. He swallowed hard and laid the mirror down on his lap. He closed his eyes and wished when he opened them again he wouldn´t be here. At the moment he even prefers to be on the battlefield and fighting against some enemies, instead of lying in this bed in a hospital near Moscow. He actually wished he had died in the flames.
"Roach! Hey Roach are you ok?" Gary felt someone shaking him lightly.
"Yeah, I´m fine." He whispered.
Gary opened his eyes and saw Ghost leaning over him with a sorrowful expression on his face. It was when he realized the machines ring the alarm. It was an annoying sound and Gary wanted them to stop.
"Can't we remove these things?" he asked angrily.
"I don´t know. It's the doctors´ choice." Ghost answered.
"Can you look for him?"
"Yes, but I think I should stay with you. You don´t look good."
"I´m fine, believe me. Please go get him!"
Ghost just nodded and left Gary to find the medic. Gary watched his friend leave the room and with a sigh he lifted the mirror once more, only to see his disfigured appearance. He didn´t know how long he was staring into the mirror but to him it seems like ages. No matter how long it lasted he couldn´t get used to his image. Maybe he just needed time to accept how he was looking now.
Gary shook his head.
`I will never be able to accept "what" I am now. How can I?
I almost needed a year to accept how Ghost looks without his mask.
I mean he´s one of my best friends but I couldn´t look him in the face when he wasn´t wearing his mask.
The first time I saw him without I got really scared.
I even had nightmares about him; and sometimes I still have them.
Oh god what am I thinking? I´m a terrible friend, he´d never think about me in such a miserable way.
Besides I´m a soldier, I saw so much pain and it didn´t bother me at all. So why am I scared of my own face? `
His thoughts were interrupted as he heard footsteps coming close to his room. He looked back from the ceiling and to the door. It opened and the doctor came in, followed by Ghost.
"I think we can remove the machines but you still need the infusions." The doctor explained whilst he turned the machines off.
"Your vital functions are really good but you have to stay in bed for another week or two before we can start with your physiotherapy."
"Physiotherapy?" Gary wondered.
"Well you were bond to the bed a very long time and your muscles have to recover. Besides we can´t remove the bandages yet."
"I´ve been through that already and believe me Gary it´s the best thing to recover quickly and get back to full power." Ghost explained.
"Ok." Was all Gary replied.
The doctor changed a look with both man and left the room without saying another word.
"I want to rest some more please." Gary said to Ghost.
"As you wish but if you need something just ring the alarm ok?"
Gary just nodded and Ghost left again, leaving his friend alone.
`Lucky me. Two more weeks in this bed without doing anything then thinking about my new look. This is going to be better every hour. ` Gary sighed heavily and stared at the ceiling once more.
Ghost slowly went down the corridor of the almost empty hospital, thinking about Gary's look as he saw himself in the mirror. He knew that his friend was shocked and tried to hide it, but he could see the dislike in his eyes. It was the same expression he saw in people's eyes when they got to see his face for the first time; when Gary saw his face the first time. Ghost never talked about it, but back then, he saw that Gary was scared of him. He couldn´t blame him because he knows how frightened his scar is.
He couldn´t get over the shocked faces and so he decided to wear his skull-balaclava; thinking that the people weren´t too afraid of his face when he took it off. But he was wrong, the looks never changed and so his balaclava became his new face. At that time he created his call sign – Ghost. Nobody would miss him; nobody would recognize him, because Ghosts don't exist in the world.
He shook his head. He swore to himself that no one, except the Members of the 141, would ever see his face; if only he had known that his balaclava would be half destroyed by the flames and the people here had to deal with his real look. They shot him all the inhuman glances he never wanted to see.
"You can´t always get what you want." He hated this phrase even if it was true.