Title: Listen To Me
Author: Emo Barbie
Pairing: one sided Richard/Justin
Summary: You are my everything. You complete me. And I wanted for you to see SO BADLY why I was the one who completed you as well...
Extra: In Richard's POV, just a long drabble that turned into a sorta weird one shot...
Listen To Me
You captivated me...from the first moment I saw you. At first I thought you were such a dork. This...know it all that had nothing else going for him. So I teased you. I...bullied you. Everything the usual "popular" was supposed to do to the outcast of the school. To the unloved and alone...the creepy and loners. That was what you were. And I was the man that stood so far above you that you looked like a little ant I could squash beneath my high priced shoe.
But then...you said something...I had pushed you to far and then suddenly you were surprising me. With this...knowledge of yours. Telling me how you could easily kill me and no one would ever find my body. The way...you looked at me...I was captivated right then and there...
Heh, can you believe it? Me. The richest guy in school...with the looks of Adonis and you...you, of all people. We completed each other. I saw it at that moment. And I tried to show you. We created the perfect match. Together we were...everything, unstoppable, un...fathumable? We created what people only dreamt of being...only dreamt of having. But you...you didn't see me the same way. At first, I thought...maybe, but...then she came into the picture. And I knew that I had lost you to her. I had lost whatever it was that I had managed to get from you. And I had to get that back. I wanted to show you that...no one. NO ONE loved you like I did. No one would ever care for you as much as I did...as I DO. You are my everything. You complete me. And I wanted for you to see SO BADLY why I was the one who completed you as well...
Why didn't you see that? I mean...I didn't even do anything...I could have given up just like that. I could have made a deal, my father could have EASILY gotten me outta those murder charges because I was not the murderer, you were. You were the one who killed her...but, I ….I would never say ANYTHING about you. But you, you...didn't love me like I loved you. You could say anything you wanted and I could have so easily taken the blame. Everything was pointed at me. Would you have really done it? Would you have turned me over so easily? Like I meant nothing to you?
That was that first time...even the Lisa scare was not that bad. But when I realized I might actually mean nothing at all...that you would so easily throw all those onto me and not even give it a second thought. I would have never been able to live with that.
I hated her...you don't know how much I hated her. And I knew it was because of her that we fell so far apart. If I could have...it would have been her that I would have pulled the trigger on. And we could have run off, together. We could have been happy. Change our looks. No one would have been suspecting a pair of drop out teens. You were smart. We could have started a new life, new identities. We could have figured out a way to do that...but I knew that wasn't an option. Not for you. No...for you I was no longer even in the picture. It was all about her. And if she were to die...especially by MY hands...there was no way you would have forgiven me. I would have lost you completely. That was why...I decided.
If you were going to forget about me. Then I was going to forget about you, too. You were my everything in this world, and yet you were able to take that everything away from me. How was that? How was it that you were still there...right in front of me...and yet I still didn't have you. You would come at my beck and call, but...you were still seeing only her. Did you ever once see how much I cared? How much I loved you? Or was that to much to ask? Was that TO MUCH to ask of you when I did everything for you and she...she only batted her eyes and...and kissed you?! Something even I couldn't do?! Why was it that despite giving you everything, you gave me nothing?
And now finally...I see the end. Of course your with her...it's only her...that's all you see. Your willing to do anything to stay with her aren't you? The moment you hesitated...I knew it..it was over. She had won. But when you...when you turned on me. I wanted you to hurt as much as I did. I wanted you to know what I had felt when you betrayed me.
Do you know...how bad I wanted to kiss you? When you walked through those doors? You were supposed to be mine! I had you first! And if maybe...maybe if I could have just shown you that...but it was to late wasn't it? Were we stood...what we knew...we both knew what ending was going to await us...it was the only thing I could do...embrace you for that last time...this life...our time...was not meant now. But I was certain in another life...but when you turned on me...that gun...I knew. I knew I had been had. You stared at me...with those wide eyes...so hurt. Like I Was the one who had betrayed you! Like I was the one who had ruined you! But wasn't it always the other way around?
That hurt...I saw it there...and I WANTED to so badly. Wasn't that the plan? You finally understanding my pain? But it wasn't right...it wasn't...so why don't you just pull it? End all this for me? Please...I'd have rather died by your hands then mine anyway. So pull it...PULL THAT DAMN TRIGGER! I dare you!
"Ah, shoot me. Shoot me! Shoot me in the head. Shoot me in the heart. Come on whatever you want! Do it, it doesn't matter anymore. Pull the fucking trigger. Pull it. Pull it! PULL IT!" I'm frantic now. I want this to end! Right here right now, this pain, this suffering...what we did...what you did...everything...just pull that trigger and wipe away everything!
But you won't will you? No...you're going to still play the victim.. as you point the gun at your head. "Come on-" I'm pleading, begging, my voice is shaking...don't do this...shoot me! End it all right here! But you won't...because in your story I'm the murderer right? I'm the villian here...and you're...you're just the poor sap I dragged along...and in all truth...I don't mind...let me play the bad guy...let me take the blame...just don't give in...don't do this...
But I watch as you lower the gun, I hear myself calling your name over and over...hear myself pleading with you. Don't give up yet. Don't give in...don't do this...but you do. You lower that gun and you stand up and you're walking...you're walking away from me...again. No, I'm not going to let you go that easily this time. I'm not...
I grab the gun and I turn, I can kill her...and everything will be fine. We can run away...I swear...everything will be fine, Justin...just listen to me...but I fire...and already your jumping in to save her. And I shoot you...and I'm running...and I don't know what I'm doing anymore...but before I know it, it's a shoot out...and then...and then...I have her...right beneath my fingers..her throat. It's so...fragile...so smooth...if I can just squeeze...just like you did...She's squirming, she's trying to hard to fight back. And I'm...I'm laughing..I'm laughing! Because I can do this! I can fix things! Just watch Justin! Just listen to me! We'll get through this, we will...and we'll run away together...I squeeze harder, I'm killing everything that stands between me and Justin...everything, Lisa, this guilt, this murder, the police, our differences...this woman...this woman is everything that is keeping me and Justin apart...and it's beautiful...
The way she's slipping away...taking everything with her. Everything that stands between us...I can't help but kiss her. She's the last piece...to this puzzle...and with her gone, everything's gonna be right again. Just listen to me Justin, just follow my lead and we'll be together forever. I promise you...just don't give up...don't give up-
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