I was bored. Seriously, endlessly, carelessly, bored. And it's my birthday, and being on your thirteenth birthday is just sad and pathetic. Sometimes I wished something exciting and unexpected would happen to entertain me. But, no, can't have that. So I spend countless hours reading and re-reading Homestuck. I picked up my sketch pad and a pencil. I knew who I was going to draw before I could even position my pencil over the paper. My patron troll, Eridan Ampora.

It's almost creepy how he and I are a like. Friendless, no enemies, searching for love that we know we can't find. The poison that is always laces our words, coming off as what most could describe as 'annoying', 'perverted', and 'condescending'. Scorning magic and fairy tales because our hope for them had long since been smashed to dust. One thing that is different though, would be our loneliness. His is a dagger, sharpened by others, and concealed behind glasses and a scarf. Mine is more of a protective blanket, a shield from all my emotions, not allowing me to feel a single thing.

Ever since I stumbled upon Eridan, I obsessed over him like only a girl could a boy. It wasn't too bad in the beginning. A fan-girl fantasy or two, the occasional thought about him. But it got progressively worse. Now all I could dream about was meeting him. I took trips to the aquarium weekly, a sad attempt to try to be somewhat closer to him. I even tried to take on his eccentric typing quirk. I set down the pencil at the soft cries of my face book messenger going off. An ever so rare occasion with only five friends.

Check your mail box.

My eyes narrowed. A Doc Scratch role player sending me a mysterious message didn't fly with me.

No, fuck off. I messaged back.

Eventually you will. Your curiosity will fester and then my dear Jester, of-this user is blocked-

I smirked silently and shut off my computer. Some part of me really wanted to know why I needed to check the mail but another, didn't care in the slightest. I endorsed the one that didn't give a shit. I emerged from my room,still clothed in my fuzziest of pj's, taking a glance out the window. Snowflakes gently eased themselves onto the ground, and dark clouds contently loomed over as they looked down from above. I waved the sight away and traveled down mahogany steps into the living room. My parents were nowhere to be found, as per usual. Gifts neatly stacked in a corner dared my attention not to be grabbed with their neon wrapping paper. My eyes slid to a handwritten note above the crackling fire. Plucking it off it easily, I began to read.

Dear Alyce, You may open your presents in our absence. We won't be home until tomorrow, as we are visiting your uncle. We left your meals in the fridge.
-Love,
Your Parents

I crumpled the paper up and tossed it into the fire, watching it burn for a moment. I turned my attention back to the presents. There were three of them, all wrapped in the same eye sight damaging of neon yellow and pink. I collapsed onto the soft carpeting and plucking a gift from the pyramid. Dragging a sharp finger nail across the surface, I tore off my present's disguise deftly. A tablet. I fumbled with its box for a moment then gently lifted it out and set it beside me. I repeated the process twice more, revealing an ultimate hacking guide abridged by my parents plus hacking software, and a hair dying kit with yet another note warning me that I could only partially dye my hair or my dad would kill me.

I traced the out line of the hacking guide, thinking about how odd my parents were. They both were professional hackers, they used to jack people's credit card numbers and bank accounts to swindle innocent people's money back in the day. That's actually how they met. Mom just happened to take some big score five minutes before dear ol' dad tried. He hunted her down for months and months until they bumped into each other at a department store in Nebraska. One thing led to another, which led another thing to me and-well you know how it goes.

My earliest memory was writing a computer program On my fifth birthday was spent prancing around a toy aisle somewhere, pointing at anything I wanted, all paid for by some woman in Virginia Only three years ago did my parents announce they were going straight. As long as 'going straight' implies stealing from mob bosses and criminals instead of regular people off the street. I sighed and scooped up the hacking material and tablet,depositing them inside my room. I slid down the banister in an absolute hurry to dye my hair. I poured over the directions like a priest would the bible. After almost memorizing them, I got down to business.

-NYAH-

I could barely resist touching my hair, though I knew it'd rub off onto my fingers. The artificial bright grape against my natural chocolate brown look too perfect. Slicked back, with my new purple bangs, I sorta resembled Eridan. I thought about squealing but then decided against it-I didn't squeal. Anxious for something to do I dashed out of the bathroom in socked feet, slipping and sliding all over the polished hard wood floor.
I flew down the staircase and out the door. Yanking open the rusted lid of the mail box, I snatched the contense and darted back inside. I dumped the letters and bills onto the marble island of our kitchen and picked through envelopes of something interesting. Even it was from the weird role player, it'd be something to see, to do. All my breath escaped my lungs in a whoosh.
With shaky hands I gingerly picked it up. The shade of green was recognizable, the symbol unforgettable, and the name was legendary.

SBURB.