Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.
Author's Note: This takes place during City of Lost Souls after Alec and Magnus broke up.
Time: City of Lost Souls
Genre: Romance and Angst
Date Finished: November 13, 2012
Alec looked out his bedroom window onto the New York skyline. Snow was gently falling creating a winter wonderland over the city. Through his open window, he could hear the soft sounds of Christmas music coming from the shops below. The faint glow of Christmas lights shone on his face. The world was a cheerful place this time of year, but Alec did not feel the cheer.
Magnus did not want anything to do with him and it still hurt.
Last Christmas they had given each other their hearts, but this year it was all tears. Alec could not get into the Christmas spirit without Magnus by his side. Sure, he had gotten along just fine previous Christmas without a lover. Now, that he knew what love was and did not want to spend another one alone.
Technically, he would not be spending Christmas alone, but it would feel like it. Magnus was his other half. The warlock was the only person who Alec could think about spending the holidays with. There was just something about sending the holidays with Magnus that made the Shadowhunter feel all warm and gushy inside. It made him feel like a newly baked cookie. This Christmas, Alec felt like the lump of coal that was given to naughty children by Father Christmas.
Alec stepped back from the window. He had thought that the pain would go away. It had, after all, been months since the breakup. It was supposed to get better with time. For Alec, the more time went on, the more it hurt.
Alec had seen Magnus yesterday at the local mundane market. The warlock had been picking up mistletoe. Alec wondered who would be under the mistletoe with Magnus this year. Last Christmas, it had been Alec. It made Alec's heart hurt to know that Magnus had moved on from him.
Somewhere deep within the Institution, Alec could hear his own family's preparation for their own Christmas celebrations. He found that he could not join them. He could pretend to be merry nor could he stand them asking him what was wrong. Instead, he was playing sick.
Instead, he was living in angst because the person who he had given his heart to last Christmas had thrown it away. This year to save himself from the trouble, Alec would give his hear to no one and would keep it locked up.
Magnus sat on his apartment sofa with a small, glittery Christmas tree in front of him. Chairman Meow sat next to him staring at the tree. The warlock was not in the Christmas spirit this year. This was the first Christmas that he would be spending alone in a long time.
He had seen Alec at the market yesterday. The boy had not even looked at him and seemed to be happy. The warlock had picked the closest thing to him and bought it to escape Alec. Seeing that Alec had moved on from their relationship so quickly, made the hurt even worse.
Magnus leaned back against the sofa and stared at the Christmas tree. He thought that playing with glitter would cheer him up and put him in the holiday spirit, but it failed to.
Last Christmas, he gave his heart to Alec and this Christmas he was spending it alone.
He put on an act to make it seem like to the world that he was okay, but he was not. He wanted to spend this Christmas with his darling Alexander, but knew that was not going to happen.
Magnus looked at the mistletoe that he had thrown on the sofa. Last Christmas, he and Alec had spent much of the holiday under it. This year, no one would be under the mistletoe.
Through the curtains, Magnus could see that the snow had picked up. In the distance, church bells rang announcing the arrival of Christmas.
"Merry Christmas, Alexander," Magnus muttered, "wherever you may be."