Author's Note: As usual characters, places, and some things belong to Bioware. This was actually inspired by Owelpost's Glacial Fire. I wanted to do something similar, but different. I hope others can enjoy this story. If you haven't read Glacial Fire, I would call it a must. This is my first attempt at this type of thing so be forewarned there may be room for improvement.
Commander Shepard sat on his bed in the loft staring into the empty fish tank. He'd sent Ash away hours ago, but sleep eluded him. He just knew he would die in this final battle. He needed to confess he needed to be hundred percent honest with someone. There was only one person, one soul in a Galaxy on the brink that he wanted to know everything. He took the elevator down to the crew deck and strode with purpose to Liara's cabin. He found her absorbed in her work as usual, barely glancing in his direction.
"Hello Shepard. You are up late considering we will be in battle tomorrow."
He walked past her and sat on her bed, staring at her.
"I'm going to die soon, Liara."
The Asari turned her full attention to him, her face a mask of sorrow and concern.
"Do not lose hope. We have a fighting chance."
He shook his head, "You misunderstand. I know we will win, but no matter what my time has come to an end. My life has been a training exercise for this battle. I will win, but in the end I'll cease to exist when it's over."
The Asari looked crushed, "Why would you even think that?"
He looked up his own face contorted in a show of disgust, "Liara, I…I didn't come to talk about that. Just believe me when I say it all ends for me soon. I am here because I want someone to know the truth. I want someone to know who I really am and what I have truly experienced."
He'd always known her feelings for him, but he couldn't let it go anywhere. The Asari meld would unravel everything, every dirty secret, and deep desire. Ashley had been the safe bet, watching her face turn to bitterness and anger he realized how much she loved him. How frustrated by the lack of reciprocation she'd felt.
"Why not speak to Lt. Commander Williams." He was sure she didn't intend the vehemence to saturate every word, but it did.
He stood up and approached her stopping close enough to smell the sweet woody scent that was Liara T'soni. He'd first noticed it on Therum and loved it ever since. He watched her face a solitary finger traced the line of her jaw.
"I never loved her. I never wanted her, like I wanted you. The sad truth is that she was safer than you. The meld would have ruined everything. Now with the end near and it doesn't matter."
Her face seemed to shatter with his admission. The tears fell from her closed eyes, yet she made no sound. He found himself wiping them away. They stood there in silence for what seemed like forever.
"Shepard. I would have sacrificed that just to be with you. I would have accepted that I would never have that, if I had only you in my arms these past five years."
His laugh was bitter and painful. "You wouldn't have been satisfied with that. You deserved so much more. I'd hoped you would find solace in another's arms. I couldn't inflict that kind of pain on you."
He looked into her eyes as they changed from their normal calm blue, to a storming sea with flecks of lightning.
"You tell me this now. When you plan on dying, leaving me with nothing? Is that not just as painful?"
He embraced her and held her tight. She didn't fight him, but he felt her anger in her rigid pose.
"I came here to leave you with something. I…I came to give you all of me. The only soul in the galaxy that will know all there is about Commander Shepard. I want you to see why…I denied myself the joy of loving you. I want you to see why you deserve better. Will you accept what I offer?"
Her answer was to laugh with her own bitterness and rage. "Was there a doubt?"
He sighed heavily, "No."
He took a step back and began to undress. Not daring to look at her until he was nude before her. She drank in the sight of him exploring every scar, mole, and even the glowing veins. She took his hand and led him to the bed, she pushed him down to sit on the bed as she removed her own clothing. His gaze followed the curves of her body down to her feet and returned back up until he met her eyes. He held out a hand which she took as she straddled him. He kissed she tenderly as if she were as delicate as crystal. Her mouth opened to his explorations. His gentle exploration of her mouth became forceful as desire took root within him. His mouth trailed to her chin, following her jawline to her neck, and further down until he found her hardened nipple.
He inhale her scent, there was a new smell emanating from the site of her desire. He maintained control of himself as he wanted to savor this moment. He listened to the soft moans and gasps as he explored her body with his hands. He enjoyed the soft, but textured feel of her skin. It was like running his hands over a pair of worn old jeans. Her hands had found an anchor upon his ears. She used them to pull him closer as she arched her back.
The fierce tug broke what little control he'd maintained, and he found himself penetrating her. She rode him desperately, as if the mere action would keep him alive forever. He'd felt her mind brushing against his own. He looked upon her face, watching the expression, seeing love, desire, and even sadness. He arched her back driving deeper within her. The Commander watched her expression take on a look of surprise tinged with pleasure. "Oh Goddess, embrace…"
Suddenly she was within his mind. He could feel all the emotions he'd seen upon her face. He let her feel the love he had for her, the longing of five years and felt them reflected back. "Shepard, I have always loved you." He suddenly flipped her onto her back and began driving deeper and harder. "I know love. Tonight I will give you anything you want." He felt his consciousness drawn deeper into her. It was like diving into a pool of cool refreshing water on a hot day. Except it was all Liara. "I want you. If you will not come back to me, I want to have your child." He showed her images of the children he'd wanted with her, the future he'd always known was impossible. "Why is it impossible?" He arched her back once more and drove deeper. "You can have your answers and the child, but after I show you everything." He felt her conflict and pain. "Focus on this moment on us together as one." She did as he asked moving her hands down his back. She cupped his ass and pulled him closer and deeper. She wanted more telling him without words. She felt he was on the edge of oblivion and merged the essences of their being. In that perfect moment of completion, of finally being one she felt the rush of his orgasm. Her body responded in kind, the single entity that had once been two shuddered. The entity recognized the tensing of muscles, and felt the flare of biotics die down.
He lay on top of her aware that the bond was gone, but neither could move. He felt the tears upon his face. He didn't know when he'd started to cry. It was a moment of realization for him. He'd denied himself this for years and never understood why. It wasn't until this moment that he realized the fear that she wouldn't love him after she saw the truth. It was the only fear he'd ever let into his heart.