Title: A Two Hearted Dream
Summary: You know, my darling, I can't stand to sleep alone. 5 beds they've shared.
Rating: PG? There's a little suggestive language, but it's pretty tame.
Timeline: One pre-series, one post-Locked Up, three post-series.
AN: Extreme fluff warning. Written as a birthday present for the fabulous Kelsey! And a little bit in celebration of what's coming on Saturday!
Jade was silent, still, and completely naked. They'd had sex, and that was nice because they were getting so much better at it, but now they were finished and she had no idea what to do next. Because usually this was the part when they got up and pulled their clothes back on before someone appeared at the RV or Jade had to go home.
Except this time, her dad wasn't expecting her and it was too late for anyone to pay Beck a visit. This time, she was supposed to sleep here. All night. In a ridiculously narrow bed.
Who was lying next to her, equally silent, still, and naked. Which was oddly comforting, actually, because it probably meant that he was equally unsure of how to proceed.
And then he slid out of bed and started rustling through his dresser, and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms.
"Shit! I forgot pajamas."
She'd never brought them to his place before. She always left in the same clothes she had on when she got there.
"Oh. Do you want to borrow something...?"
He opened another drawer and when he resurfaced he tossed a pair of boxers and a faded t-shirt to her. She caught them and sat up enough to pull the shirt on and wrangle her legs into the boxers without getting out of bed.
When Beck slipped back in beside her, Jade caught herself scooting as close to the wall as she could. There was actually space between them, something she hadn't thought was possible on a bed so small.
Something that had never happened before, when they'd both been in his bed.
And that was when the awkward silences, and the stiff movements, and the inches of space between their bodies finally got to her.
"This is so stupid."
"Huh? What's stupid?"
She huffed and rolled to face him.
"This! Right now! We were looking at each other naked, touching each other naked, like, fifteen minutes ago and that didn't feel weird at all. And now we're dressed and not doing anything but going to sleep, and I'm pretty sure I've never been this uncomfortable in my life. What the hell is that about?"
To Jades extreme annoyance, Beck laughed.
"Well if you're going to laugh at me…" She crossed her arms and turned away from him to face the wall.
"Jade!" He managed to get out through his chuckles.
"Hey," She felt his hand close over her shoulder. "Hey, Jade, look at me."
She looked, but didn't roll over. He was still grinning.
"I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing because you're right. We're being ridiculous."
Jade maneuvered herself back to facing him, completely. This time his arm settled over her waist, and her bent knees banged against his thighs.
"This is better."
"Yeah." He agreed, softly.
She was starting to feel drowsy, and the gentle movement Beck's fingers had taken up on her back wasn't helping. Beck's eyes had closed, and hers weren't far behind.
"Do you snore?"
"Don't know. Tell me in the morning?"
Jade smiled and finally let her eyelids droop shut.
"Yeah. I'll tell you in the morning."
As soon as they got over the border, Sikowitz checked into a hotel, passed out room keys, and then announced that he would be taking Andre to the nearest hospital to make sure that the child doctor hadn't done some sort of horrible damage, and that the Vampire Moth bite was really going to heal without any sort of complications.
Right before he'd steered Andre out of the lobby, Cat had raised a question that Tori had been wondering herself.
"Um, Sikowitz? All our keys have the same room number on them."
And then he was gone.
"Huh," Jade spoke up, from the lobby chair that both she and Beck were draped over, "I guess rescuing us from prison and taking Andre to the hospital kind of exhausted his chaperone skills."
To Tori's slight surprise, the room wasn't awful. Of course after the first hotel, and then prison, the bar wasn't set all that high. But there were two beds and a roll-away bed that looked like it would probably be horribly uncomfortable, but would still be better than the ground.
"So," Trina started, and Tori mentally braced herself for what she was certain was coming, "Who gets the beds?"
And then all hell broke loose for a few minutes.
"-Trip was your idea!"
"They threw rocks on the boys side!"
"At least you were on the boys side!"
"-In prison the longest!"
"—Had to call Mom and Dad, and you know how they can get!"
That was when Cat jumped on one of the beds and started to yell.
"Hey! Heeeeyyyy! Everybody SHUT UP!"
There was something about Cat that made Tori want to listen to anything she ever had to say, and once Tor stopped shouting, the others slowly followed.
"Okay, now that everyone is listening, I'll talk. We should take turns, and say why we need a bed. And listen to each other. Tori, you start."
Tori grinned at her. Leave it to Cat to be the one level-headed person in the madness.
"I should get one of the beds, because I was unfairly incarcerated for the longest amount of time."
Trina, who had been oddly affectionate since the rest of the group had been tossed into prison, reached out and squeezed Tori's arm.
"That seems fair, actually."
"Okay." Cat said again. "That's a really good reason. Tori gets to sleep in a real bed. Agreed?"
"Agreed." Said, everyone else. Except Jade, who just sort of jerked her head, like she was being forced to agree by powers beyond her control.
"Beck, your turn."
Beck, Tori noticed, looked as worn out as she felt. He was leaning heavily against the wall, his arms wrapped loosely around Jade, who was leaning back against his chest. Tori sort of thought that it would be uncomfortable to have someone pressed up against her, as tired as was, but Beck didn't seem to mind.
"I get a bed because I never slept in prison, even on the ground, because psychotic criminals insisted on throwing rocks at me and Andre and we spent all our time running and hiding from them."
A full moment of silence hung in the air while the rest of them let that information fully sink in. And then they were all tripping over each other to agree that that was also a really good reason.
"Alright it's decided. Beck gets that bed, Tori you get this one that I'm standing on. Who has to sleep on the roll-away?"
"Robbie." Jade said immediately.
"Because you killed that dude's octopus and got us all thrown in prison!"
Cat bit her lip. "That is true, Robbie."
"It really is."
"Yeah, Rob. That was all you."
Tori shrugged. "Seems fair."
Robbie looked like he might protest farther, but off the looks on everyone's faces, he backed down.
Tori didn't think to ask how they were going to split two beds between four girls and one boy. The shower was calling her name, and blocking out any other thoughts.
It wasn't until they'd all showered, and Tori was sliding thankfully between the clean, crisp hotel sheets, next to her already sleeping sister, that it crossed her mind.
But before she could ask, Jade came sauntering out of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand, and limbed up on to the bed that Beck was already occupying. When she pulled the corner of the covers down, he didn't react, just kept leafing through the magazine they'd found in a bedside table drawer. As soon as Jade was in bed, Beck closed the magazine, shut off his lamp, and scooted down until his head was on the pillow.
He turned toward Jade, who stretched up and kissed him. It was barely more than a peck, but somehow it made Tori feel more voyeuristic than any of the other, messier kisses she'd ever seen them share. She closed her eyes.
The room was quiet, except for the sound of Cat brushing her teeth in the bathroom, and the creak of the springs every time Robbie shifted in his sleep, and Tori couldn't help but overhear the whispered exchange between her friends in the next bed.
"You called your parents right? And told them we got out, okay?"
"Yeah. Mom said she'd talk to your dad, when I told her you couldn't get him. So he should know, too."
"Cool. Oh, hey, I meant to ask you yesterday, but we got a little sidetracked with the arrested thing. Is my sweatshirt in your suitcase? I couldn't find it, but I thought I packed it."
"Yeah, I've got it."
"Awesome. I want it for the plane, tomorrow."
"I'll get it out before we leave."
"Thanks, babe. Love you."
"Love you too."
They fell silent, and Tori could hear their sheets rustling a little. She chanced cracking one eye open.
They were curled together, back to front, in the middle of the bed, and it hit her, suddenly, why she felt so uncomfortable.
Everything about their behavior—from the ease with which they got in bed together, to the brief exchange before sleep, even the brief kiss they'd shared—held a practiced sort of intimacy that Tori wasn't used to seeing from anyone other than, well, her parents.
She'd known, obviously, that Jade and Beck had a relationship that wasn't completely normal for high school. That was hard to miss. But she hadn't really thought about what that would look like when no one else was around. Or when they decided they didn't care who was around.
She couldn't imagine having that sort of intimacy with anyone.
She was derailed from her thoughts, however, when Cat tiptoed out of the bathroom, still damp from the shower, and crept to the edge of Tori and Trina's bed.
Tori wriggled closer to her sister, and Cat crawled into bed and kissed Tori on the cheek.
"G'night, Tori!" She whispered.
Tori smiled, affection blooming in her chest, and tugged on the ends of Cat's red tangles.
Jade startled awake at the sound of her roommate yelling her name, but tried as hard as she could to lay completely still and act like she was asleep.
"Jade! I know you're awake. You've got a visitor."
She pushed herself up to her elbows and finally managed to give a groggy look toward the door.
"I have a-oh. Hey."
Beck smiled sheepishly at her from the doorway. "Can I sleep here, tonight?"
Jade bit down on her questions, for the time being. "Yeah, of course."
Beck turned to look at Cassie, his eyes wide and hopeful.
Cassie shrugged. "I don't care. Just promise me you won't ever knock on my door at three in the morning ever again."
"And no sex while I'm still in the room."
Cassie nodded, once, and turned back to her bed, and her headphones without another word.
Beck closed the door and crossed the room to crawl into Jade's bed.
Jade waited until he pulled the blankets back over both of them, and then snuggled down into his arms. They were quiet for a few minutes, shifting and maneuvering their limbs into familiar patterns.
"So." She said, when they'd reached a comfortable position, "What're you doing here?"
He wouldn't meet her eyes. "What do you mean?"
"Well... I can't help but notice that it's Tuesday."
He was still avoiding her eyes, like he thought if he didn't look at her she wouldn't try to figure him out. Wouldn't be able to read him like a transparent book.
Maybe, she thought, this was one of those times when it was easier for him to speak his mind if no one was looking. She rolled over, to face her wall instead of his face, but dragged his arm with her. He tucked her back against his chest and she felt him sigh into her hair, and relax against her body.
Jade dropped an absent kiss to the fingers that were resting just in front of her on the mattress.
"I thought we weren't sleeping together during the week." She prodded.
He scoffed. "What about yesterday? Or last Thursday? Or-"
"Sex. Not sleeping. You knew what I meant Beck, it was your idea."
He didn't say anything.
"I mean, I agreed, because you were right. But it was your idea to stay in our own rooms during the week, remember? Because your roommate's home and my roommate's home, and we have early classes sometimes, and blah, blah, blah?"
She felt him nod. "I know."
"So what's the deal, with knocking in the middle of the night on a Tuesday?"
Beck buried his face in her neck and his next words were so muffled she nearly didn't catch them.
"I kinda can't sleep without you."
An unexpected feeling of relief flooded through her. She'd been afraid that she was the only one who had tossing and turning every night for weeks now.
He loved her. She knew that. And here, on the other side of the country, surrounded by people who they'd never met, Jade had finally started to believe—really believe, not just trust—that Beck felt as deeply for her as she did for him. But still. Those old insecurities could be killer sometimes. And sometimes, those old insecurities were exactly what kept her pushing for just a little more reassurance.
"You've slept without me before."
His arm tightened across her middle. "Not well. Never well."
She turned under his arm. Beck might have trouble sharing things face-to-face, but Jade had no such problem.
She kissed him, soft and sweet, and brushed his hair out his eyes when she pulled back.
"I can't either. Sleep, I mean."
He smiled, briefly, and then frowned. "What does that say about us? That we can't sleep alone?"
Words like 'codependent' and 'unhealthy' flitted across Jade's mind.
Well, she thought, fuck that.
She shrugged. "That we should probably move off campus next year?"
Beck moved across the room, as quietly as he could, trying not to wake Jade. He smiled softly when he noticed the notebook open on the mattress next to her, and the pen held slack in her hand. She'd fallen asleep writing again.
He shed his clothes down to his boxers and climbed into his side of the bed. Still moving quietly, he picked up Jade's notebook, closed it, and laid it on the floor. She didn't stir until Beck reached for her pen, and tried to slip it out from under her fingers.
The glow from the city lights, that spilled into their apartment at all hours, made it easy to see her eyes crack open.
"Sorry." He whispered. "I was trying to get your pen, so you didn't accidentally get ink all over my face like last time. Go back to sleep."
She tossed the pen across him, and he heard it hit the wall and ricochet to the floor.
"Time'sit?" Jade stifled a yawn.
"Little after five. You've got another hour or so before the alarm."
She curled into his side, and buried her face in his chest.
"I hate this." she confessed, in the vulnerable voice that she rarely used, and only ever with him.
His arms tightened around her. "I know."
He hated it too. She was always asleep when he got home, and gone when he woke up. And he was always asleep when she left, and gone when she got home.
"Our schedules really suck, Jade. But they won't always."
She tipped her head up, smiling sleepily, and rested her chin on his ribs.
"Right. Any day now, someone will want to use one of my screenplays, or promote me from an off-Broadway chorus to a leading lady. And you'll get a starring role in the next big blockbuster. And we can stop making lattes and cocktails to pay rent."
He brushed an errant curl behind her ear. "And we'll actually get to see each other."
She smirked. "And we'll be able to afford to eat more than pop tarts and Raman."
"Get an apartment with more than one room."
"And a real bed."
"Hey!" Beck did his best to look affronted. "I happen to like our bed."
"Babe, our bed is a futon mattress that sits directly on the floor."
"It has character?"
"Sure, if you want to play it like that."
She flashed him one last grin and laid her head back down, snuggling tightly under his arm. He brushed a kiss over the top of her head.
"We'll make it. You know that, right?" He asked her, quietly.
She laughed, suddenly, hot against his skin, and murmured, "we're halfway there."
"Living on a prayer?"
He grinned. "You're only about half-awake, huh?"
She nodded, and squeezed his fingers.
"We'll make it, I swear." She mumbled, and he could hear the grin in her voice.
When Beck woke up, the grey light of early morning was barely starting to filter through their curtains.
His first thought was that it was absurdly early to be awake, for a Sunday.
His second and third thoughts were that their bed was too damn small and they really needed to get better about keeping the dog on the floor, and off his feet.
Once he'd gained his freedom from the dog, Beck realized that there was a fist-far too tiny to be J's-pressing in between his shoulder blades.
And then he remembered the thunderstorm from the night before, and the heart-wrenching sound of a tiny voice begging to sleep in "the big bed."
Slowly, he reached behind him and, slowly, he lifted his daughter's arm away from his back.
He waited for a few seconds but she didn't stir. So he shifted his weight by inches, until he could flip over. He kept his eyes closed and held his breath. They probably had less than a half hour before she would wake up anyway, but it was early and all he wanted was a few more minutes to wake up, leisurely.
When a minute passed and she still slept, Beck opened his eyes.
And forgot how to breathe.
It didn't matter that it had been nearly three years since she was born. He would still look at her, sometimes, and be as overwhelmed as he had been the first time he saw her, nothing more than a speck on a grainy screen.
She sighed in her sleep and his heart jumped.
I did that, he thought. We did that.
It still felt unreal, sometimes, that this small, delicate thing was theirs.
This tiny person—nestled in between his pillow and Jade's, thumb in her mouth and her other arm thrown above her head, with her little fingers woven into her dark curls—wouldn't even exist without them. They'd made a person. How incredible was that?
And beyond her, on the next pillow, was Jade. She was stretched toward them, her arm resting above the baby, and he remembered watching her run her fingers through their daughter's hair until they'd both fallen asleep.
Beck wondered, not for the first time, what his fourteen year old self would say, if someone were to tell him that the cute girl in his drama class, the one who spoke her mind and frowned at everyone, and made him laugh, would be his wife someday.
That, in a year, she'd spend the night in his bed, and sixteen years after that she'd still be there, but joined by their kid and their dog.
He'd spent more than half his life sleeping beside her.
Loving her, it never got old. He kept expecting it to, back when they were kids, and half the gossip magazines were expecting it to any day now, but it never had. Four years of high school, four years of college, three break ups, two struggling careers, two successful careers, a dog, and a daughter later; and he still found himself falling in love with her all over again, at least once a week.
He nudged his feet forward, seeking hers. Not to wake her up, just to touch her. But his toes must have been colder than he thought, because her eyelids fluttered and then shot wide open.
He watched her, as the momentary panic spread over her face, and then disappeared when she realized that she hadn't slept through an alarm, or a wake-up call, and that she wasn't on location, or doing press, or expected on any sets or in any writing rooms.
She smiled lazily at him, and he put his finger to his lips and nodded at the baby. She smiled wider, and snaked her hand over the top of their daughter's head and pushed her fingers into Beck's hair. He ran his foot along her calf, where the leg of her pajamas had ridden up, exposing her skin.
Good morning. She mouthed.
They stayed like that, touching but not speaking. Content.
Until, like clockwork, their little girl popped up and smiled with her father's mouth, and blinked at them with her mother's eyes, and said in a voice that was all her own,