Hey again everyone!
Wow, I can't thank you enough for all your reviews - not to mention favourites and follows! You are all clearly as hungry for next week's episode and more Delena as I am.
Honestly, I've found writing this fic kinda cathartic. By the time I was done I felt a little bit better about the sire bond. I hope you do, too.
I Can't Be Selfish With You
This road is so stupidly long, I think to myself, growing more and more agitated with every passing second. I'm incredibly aware that this is my one chance, and I'm hoping beyond hope that Damon won't have moved on by the time I arrive at the Diner that Sheriff Forbes pointed me to.
Today has been dragging on for hours. The sun is only now beginning to set, and it's only about 6:00. I can barely grasp the massiveness of what has gone down in the last 24 hours. Here I am in the car, desperately chasing after the one person I could have sworn this morning would never leave me. Just this morning we were scantily clad, bumping and grinding and making out in his bed. Just the memory of my night with Damon Salvatore is enough to turn me on all over again, but I force myself to focus. I need to find him. Reach him, not only physically but on an emotional level. I know for a fact that he loves me just as much as I love him, I just need to convince him that my feelings for him are real. And I've had this whole car ride to decide what to say, so I have a pretty clear idea.
I'm going to make him realize how right he is for me.
If I am anything, I am a man.
And men don't cry.
So why is it that I have shed more tears than I can count for this one girl?
I sigh heavily, now about 10 shots down the road to unfeeling. Unfortunately, it takes a ridiculous amount of alcohol to get me drunk - and far more than that to keep me drunk for any decent amount of time. Too bad I still care too much to turn off my humanity and truly disappear. We'll have to fix that.
No, what I really need right now is a real drink. I look along the bar. Bingo. Seated alone in the corner, one white-girl-wasted lonely white girl. Bonus, her blood will even help me on my quest to get shit faced. So I waste no time in sliding smoothly into the seat next to her.
"Hi," I greet her cheerily, giving my very best smirk-and-eye-thing-combo. She turns to me, blushing. Either that or she's just flushed from the alcohol I can smell coming out of her pores. I lean in a little closer, compelling her; "You're completely blackout drunk, so you won't remember any of this tomorrow, but you're going to come outside with me so I can drink your blood. And," I add on sudden inspiration, "You're going to love it."
"I'mma love it," She slurs back at me, a seductive smile forming on her face. Well, she was trying to be seductive, but really she just looked incredibly drunk. I grin, feeling suddenly back in my element. The ultimate predator. Finally, no one to try to live right for! Somehow something creeps into my mind that this is not what frees me, this is what traps me, but I push it down. I've been self-righteous enough for one day, what with sacrificially pushing my almost-girlfriend back to her ex. Time to neutralize all that good karma.
After all, I'm still a monster. I'm still a vampire. I'm still the guy that will never deserve- and will never get- Elena.
"What's your name?" I ask as I take the girl's hand in mine and begin to lead her outside, determined to distract myself.
"Megan," she replies sluggishly, grabbing onto my arm to afford herself the balance needed to walk. I steer her out the door and into the woods, walking until I'm sure no one would hear the odd scream.
"Okay, this is far enough, Megan," I inform her, turning to push her up against a tree. I pin her there, one of her legs in between the two of mine, and I lean in, pushing my entire body up against hers. I hear her emit a breathy moan as I lean in, breathing against her neck, and she arches slightly, pressing her core against my leg. Looks like this girl is desperate. This is going to be so much fun. I sink in my fangs.
Megan lets out a loud cry at the sudden penetration, but not a cry of pain. My improvised addition to the normal compulsion routine is rewarding me generously. The girl begins to writhe below me, grinding herself on my thigh, moaning over and over again. And her blood tastes amazing. I can tell that she was drinking a lot of vodka, the taste of it is an incredible compliment to the warm life force flowing from her into me. I don't ever want to stop.
Without warning, Megan climaxes in my arms. Her blood pumps double-time as her heart races to keep up with her exploding nerve endings. I finally withdraw my fangs from her neck when it begins to slow, licking my lips and sighing. That was over too soon. I'm still hungry. I feel like I haven't really eaten in ages. Regretfully, I begin to lead her out of the forest.
This is it. I'm standing outside the diner that constitutes Damon's last known location. All the carefully planned speeches I put together on the way here are somehow impossible to remember. Honestly, I'm panicking. This is my one and only chance to convince him that I don't just want and need him because he is my sire.
Speak of the devil. Is that Damon with a young, bloody girl, walking out of the woods?
I know the sight shouldn't surprise me, shouldn't disgust me. But the satisfaction on both of their faces does not escape me. I remind myself that this is all just because Damon truly believes he is no longer with me, and therefore has no cause to be faithful to me.
Jealousy rages up inside of me and I storm over to the couple. Ugh. This is not the way I wanted this to go down, but seriously?! A young blonde girl?!
Damon glances up and sees me storming towards him. I try not to see what he's thinking, for once.
"Damon, I do not want to hear your excuses!" I seethe, storming towards them, "I'm driving for hours to track you down and here you are, just frolicking in the woods with some stupid human girl? What, did you use the good old snatch-please-erase technique on her?"
"Elena-" Damon pushes the girl away, and she stumbles back into the diner, as he takes a couple steps away from me. But I keep approaching.
"No! You can't just be with whoever the hell you want anymore! You are Mine!" I hiss, using my vampire speed to close the distance and slamming my lips into his.
And for a moment, he relents. I have my hands on either side of his head, offering him no easy escape. His hands move up my sides, then back down again, and I push him back into the wall of the diner. This, unfortunately, seems to snap him to his senses, as he suddenly pushes me back, then spins us, so I'm pinned between him and the wall. I can't say I hate it.
"Elena, I need you to be free of me. If I am your sire why won't you listen to me?" Damon seems desperate.
"Because, Damon," I begin slowly, looking deeply into his eyes, only inches away from my own, "I want to be with you. I can't go back to Stefan, even though you told me to. And the siring isn't what makes me want to be with you, either. If it was, I would have left Stefan for you the moment I turned, wouldn't I?" I watch him process this, a glimmer of hope flashing in his eyes, and I snatch onto it.
"I grew these feelings for you long before I ever was turned," I continue, "I know you saw them. Back at Denver, but even long before that, you were invading my heart. You are so permanently written in my soul, Damon, I can't ever shake you." I can see how badly he wants to believe me right now, so I decide to lay it all on the table. I'm betting everything on him right now.
"I'm not falling in love with you because I am sired to you, Damon," I bite my lip then finally confess, "If anything, I'm sired to you because I'm so deeply in love with you."
I watch the fear and the hope battle inside of Damon, and I move my hands up to hold his face in an incredibly familiar gesture of comfort between us.
"We will survive this, too, Damon. We've been through worse," I whisper with a small smile.
"I want to believe you, Elena," he murmurs, tracing his thumb along my cheekbone.
"Then do," I plead, "Trust me, like you always do. You know me, better than anyone, and you know that I was deeply in all-consuming love for you for months before I became a vampire."
Immediately I feel Damon's lips slam against mine. Yes. Finally I'm back home in Damon's arms. If being sired is what gave me the strength to follow him here, then it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
But I know without a doubt that what I said was true.
I love this man.
I love Damon.
Do I dare believe it?
Elena Gilbert loves me.
But I can feel it radiating off of her in her kiss, just like I did last night. Her love. Consuming her. Consuming me.
So I grant her wish. I trust her. I wrap my arms around her as tightly as I can, with no fear of breaking her. Our kiss deepens as we activate our muscle-memory passion, dissolving into quick gasps and low moans. I feel her hands curl into my hair, and I drop my own hands a little lower, my mouth following as I kiss down her cheek, then her neck, then along her collarbone. God, I love her so much I can barely breathe.
Mine. Elena is mine. I will never let her go again. This is it, I know it. And she knows it too. She declared it moments ago, I am hers. And I don't mind being her possession one bit. I smirk inwardly as I wonder if this is what it feels like to be sired. I would do anything for my beautiful Elena.
I guess we're sired to each other.
Well guys, that's it.
Happy Delena ending