a/n: this is entirely Rebecca's fault. I just took her head canons and cobbled them together because I'm not actually a real writer.
Title comes from The Tumbled Sea.
The night Bobbi Samantha Winchester comes screaming into the world, Dean cries and Cas' expression changes from mildly confused to very confused.
Dean insists on going everywhere the baby goes, though Castiel assured him none of the physicians or nurses were demons. In the end, he watches as her little hands reach for the warmth of another while she is bathed and clothed.
She's handed to him in a salmon colored blanket that makes him want to puke, but when her blue eyes open, he goes full blown cheese and forgets that any other colors exist.
He turns to Castiel, and points at himself, "I made this Cas! She's mine!"
Castiel tilts his head, "Technically speaking, I did the actual making as it my sperm was used to-"
"It's just an expression Cas!" Dean snaps gently before looking back down, "Your papa's such a dumbass."
Her pink mouth parts and Castiel gasps and takes a step back. Naturally an Angel of the Lord who has entered Hell and lived in purgatory would be afraid of a little ball of flesh and dark tufts of hair, he just wouldn't be Cas if not.
"She's... quite extraordinary. I admit, I cannot recall the last time I held an infant, perhaps when the Christ child-" He mutters, gazing back at Bobbi, the alarmed look fading from his features.
"You held Jesus Christ?" Dean sputters, "Well, sorry Jesus, but you ain't got nothin' on my kid."
Dean hands her over to Castiel so he can get Sam from the waiting area, and when he stumbles into the cramped room Sam looks up. He'd recognize Dean's footfalls even in the pits of Hell.
"Is she-" Sam's been crying, but happy crying, not the usual oh-shit-my-brother-slipped-and-fell-into-purgatory crying.
Dean nods proudly, "She's healthy and pink and perfect and I think Cas may be a little afraid of her, but she looks just like him."
Sam chokes out a laugh, "Good thing she has you to learn her sparkling personality from."
Hugging Sam when he's happy is one of the best feelings in the world, especially if one or more parties haven't just come back from Hell or purgatory or Stanford. He's never been much for words, but he didn't shy away from physical contact either. Sammy had been the kind of kid that needed hugs, and there wasn't anyone but Dean around to give them usually.
"I can't believe you're a dad," Sam says, still crying.
"God you are such a bitch, you know that?" Dean says, mostly because he might be crying too.
Rolling his eyes, Dean pulls Sam towards the room he's left Cas awkwardly holding their daughter in. When they reach him, Bobbi is clutching tightly to one of his pinkies and he's whispering something to her in Enochian.
"Cas, she's like three minutes old, I think you can hold off on the foreign languages for now." Dean grins, allowing her to snatch his pinky with her free hand. He feels her nails dig into his skin and can't stop smiling.
"The best time for a child to learn another language is when they are very young, Dean. However, that is not why I was speaking to her, while you were getting Sam I realized..." Castiel looks up and gives the most honest smile Dean thinks any angel is capable of giving, "She has wings."
Sam, who as per usual has been standing awkwardly to the side, quietly slaps Dean on the back, "Oh man, I can't wait until she can fly, you're gonna have a stroke."
Instead of telling his brother where to stick it, Dean turns back to Bobbi and strokes her forehead, "You're one good lookin' kid, I feel sorry for your future love life."
"I do not see how her future love life is of import." Cas states, oblivious as usual.
"You wait until some kid gets handsy with her, I'll be the one holding you back from smiting them." Dean mutters, leaning into his angel gently.
He leans down to kiss Cas' forehead, "We really did it, we really started a family."
"Yes," Cas sighs, "We did. And I think our choice of name is most befitting."
"And.. what is her name?" Sam asks, the curiosity in his face makes Dean's heart clench anymore, because his brother will probably start crying again.
Taking their daughter softly from Cas, he passes her to Sam to increase the chick flick moment and then voice thick he says, "Bobbi, short for Roberta, Samantha Winchester."
He's right, Sam does start crying, but Dean is too moved to say anything.
"Thanks, bro." The younger brother finally chokes out.
"Yeah, well, we'll see if this family can handle two Samanthas." Dean smirks, clapping his brother on the back.
The first week at home goes about as well as you'd expect for an angel and ex-hunter with a new baby. When Sam told them he would move out to make room for the new baby, Dean panicked and went out and when he came home he was holding the keys to a new four bedroom house.
As it turned out, Sam living with them had been a godsend, because he did most of the legwork without much complaint. Whether he was running to the store at midnight for more baby wipes or changing dirty diapers, he honestly seemed to enjoy being an uncle, and well, Dean wasn't gonna complain.
Castiel didn't need much sleep, he mostly just liked to keep Dean company at night. And sometimes he could change Dean's nightmares. However, since Bobbi's arrival he spent nearly all night watching her, head tilted like he would never understand this tiny human with his eyes and mouth.
"She only likes you more because she can see your wings," Dean gripes over breakfast one morning, Bobbi in one arm. She giggles a little up at him, and he grins back.
"Damn straight your old man's funny, babe." He leans down and kisses the top of her head.
Sam had insisted upon buying her all these little bows to go in her hair - pink and green and purple - and Dean didn't know how to raise a girl any better than the next dad so he ended up sticking them all in her hair at the same time. Sam didn't even have the heart to take them out because she looked so precious with little bows sticking out all over her head like some kind of Christmas present.
As it happens, Cas ends up being the best cook of them all, his idea of family meals isn't burgers and pizza or just beer and whiskey for dessert. And even though Bobbi is all of seven days old, he still forces Dean and Sam to eat salads and healthy dinners every night. On the plus side, he also cooks breakfast morning.
"I knew I loved you for more than those good looks." Dean smiles over Bobbi's bow covered head. Castiel leans in to kiss his partner's lips gently and then their daughter's cheek.
Sam rolls his eyes over his newspaper and reaches for Bobbi, "I know you think they're as gross as I do."
His hand is basically the entire length of her body, and she fits comfortably into the crook of his arm.
He carries her out of the room to allow Dean time for his breakfast in peace before he leaves for work.
"Are we going to talk about the mammoth in the room now?" Cas asks, frowning over the kitchen sink.
"It's elephant in the room, Cas, and I don't know what you're talking about." The eggs are all but cold, but Dean keeps shovelling them in his mouth to keep from having to actually look at Cas.
A sigh of deep frustration comes from the sink and Dean grudingly stands to place his plate in the soapy water.
"Bobbi is not a normal child, Dean. She has wings. She will... have questions about what we've done." Cas looks older, though it's impossible as Jimmy's face hasn't changed since Dean met him. Mostly he just looks tired, like a human dad who's brought home a baby.
"We aren't gonna lie to her, Cas, but she's got you to teach her how to control them. I ain't raising my kid to be afraid of herself." Dean grabs the sponge out of Cas' hand and starts cleaning the remaining dishes.
The angel's cold hands reach up and wind around Dean's torso in an act of affection, as if they were two normal people.
"She also has you, Dean. I think that's just as important."
They hear the door to Bobbi's nursery close and pull apart as Sam returns. Dean grabs his wallet and kisses Castiel's cheek before heading out the door.
"I think Bobbi wants you, she's being fussy. I'll finish this before I head to school," Sam says, and Cas nods gravely, because even in parenthood he can't stop treating everything as a serious issue which needs to be addressed.
Bobbi's nursery is a soft green color since Dean vehemently opposed "damn Pepto Bismol walls," and Cas did not deem blue to match the color scheme of the rest of the house.
Wordlessly he lifts a squirming Bobbi from her crib. He knows Dean is jealous because he can't see her tiny wings, but he doesn't know the words to describe them either. Pure light into a molded shape just sounds ridiculous to most humans.
"I heard you were being difficult with Sam. He does a lot for you, you know." Cas says, still not fully grasping that she's a baby and can't speak yet. He's taken to talking to her in Enochian most of the time when Dean isn't around.
He doesn't know why, but he thinks it's important that she be bilingual, and Enochian is a central part of him.
"Someday you will have many questions for me, and I promise I won't lie to you," he whispers, raising her up to kiss each of her cheeks. She lets out a giggle from his scruff tickling her cheek.
For the most part Bobbi's a good baby, she hardly ever cries and she sleeps most nights and eats well. She laughs more than most infants Cas has observed over the years. It's still odd to see her mouth, so very much his, stretched into a big smile.
Sometimes he wonders if Jimmy felt like this when he held Claire as an infant. Of course he knows what Jimmy had sacrificed to his daughter, and it doesn't seem so strange to Castiel now. He would gladly fight or die for Bobbi, or do anything to protect her.
"I think it's time to get dressed, we have errands to run today." He states matter-of-factly and pulls a small blue onesie out of a drawer that reads Daddy's Little Angel. Sam had bought it as a joke for their baby shower, but Dean and Cas sort of just got misty eyed and awkward when they'd opened it.
"You are my little angel, though you are also half human, but as your Daddy would say," he frowns like Dean and lowers his voice, "'It's just an expression, Cas.'"
In response Bobbi kicks her legs as he buttons the onesie and slides her into his arms. By the time they enter the living room Sam has already left for school.
"We'll go grocery shopping and then maybe we'll drop off some lunch for Dean." Cas says, grabbing the diaper bag next to the door, giving Bobbi a rare smile.
Bobbi's first word comes when she's six months old after a long night of crying and Dean cursing. Sam and Cas are standing in the doorway waiting to change off for their shift of holding the fussy baby.
She babbles a lot, which Sam says is advanced for most infants her age, but Dean just replies that all the rules go out the window when you have a half-angel kid.
As Dean dances her around the room bleary eyed she blurts it out,
"What?" Dean holds her out to examine her face, but her round eyes just stare back. "Did she just... did she just say Sammy?" He looks up to Sam, and Bobbi opens her mouth again.
"Suh-me!" Castiel looks back and Dean, who continues to stare at his brother, mouth hanging slightly open.
Glaring now Dean curses, "Damnit, how is that fair on any level?"
After he side steps Cas, Sam plucks Bobbi from her father's arms and twirls her around with him, "You love me the best, don't you baby girl?"
It's a sight Dean never thought he'd actually live to see: picket fence, baby, Sam, Cas, and safety all at the same time. He still sleeps with Ruby's knife under his pillow but at least they aren't living in shitty motel rooms anymore.
"I had hoped her first word would be in Enochian," Cas admits, and Dean rolls his eyes because this is Cas and of course he's been whispering to their child in elite angel speak all hours of the day. Oh what the people in town must've thought.
Bobbi's eyes are finally starting to sag in Sam's arms and he places her slowly on her back, her chubby thighs kick out only once before she's fully asleep.
"I can't believe you hijacked my kid's first word," Dean grumbles as they all stumble tiredly into the kitchen, he grabs a beer out of the fridge and leans against Castiel.
"Clearly it's because I am the best looking brother," Sam grins back but Castiel's head tilts.
"Actually, were we to judge by overall bone structure and purity of flesh, Dean is the superior brother aesthetically speaking."
Dean laughs, "You are lookin' a little spotty, Sammy."
Rolling his eyes, Sam turns to Castiel with his best bitch face, "Well you're not an unbiased judge so your input can't be considered as evidence."
In the scheme of things, Dean decides to try and bribe their six month old child into saying dada before papa, though Castiel found this to be "petty and below you, Dean." She ends up saying daddy in Enochian, which somehow doesn't feel like a win.
"She will most likely be flying soon, her wings are almost strong enough to hold her now." Cas states one Sunday morning when they're looking for their first real Christmas tree.
Naturally, Dean wanted Bobbi's Christmas to be the full experience with a tree and presents and fruit cake, ("Babies don't even eat fruitcake, Dean!" "I don't give a shit, Sammy, it's tradition.") Castiel simply gave up trying to argue that Christmas was in fact a pagan holiday and let Dean go about with his Yuletide fever.
"You mean she's gonna be able to pop back and forth like you?" Dean freezes and looks down to his daughter, "Cas what if she accidentally ends up in Mexico or some shit?!"
Daddy Dean turned out to be much worse than Brother Dean or Hunter Dean when it came to paranoia. He easily freaked out the most, especially over small things like Bobbi being too warm or 'shifty looking' people downtown.
In an attempt to soothe Dean, Cas raises one hand to his partner's shoulder, "I will not let that happen, I promise."
It takes a few seconds for Dean to realize that Cas has Bobbi balanced on what must obviously be his wings.
"Would you cut that out, we're in public, and you might drop her!" Dean snaps but Castiel looks back confused.
"This is how all young are carried by angels of-" He starts until Dean throws up a hand.
"Yeah, well, we aren't in Heaven, and there's concrete here!"
He reaches up to take his daughter with caution, "You better use your superpowers for good, Wonder Woman."
Being a nearly-one-year-old means a lot more babbling from her end, and Bobbi reaches out a hand and grabs Dean's nose in one her hands and giggles.
"Kid's just don't have any respect these days." He sticks out his tongue at her and hands Cas the groceries out of his hands.
After they finally get the tree set up, (having a giant for a brother really helps with hanging lights), Bobbi lets out a baby screech from her bouncer and Sam grins.
"Well, at least she approves." He goes to lift her out of her bouncer and sets her feet on the floor.
Though she is half-angel, grace isn't exactly her strong point when it comes to walking. Falling down is more accurate for her approach, and Dean would've padded the entire house if Castiel hadn't stopped him. With the help of Sam's giant hands over hers she manages to waddle uneasily to Castiel.
"That's my girl!" Dean smiles, but the smile turns to horror quickly when Bobbi literally disappears before his eyes.
"She's flown somewhere," Cas says rationally.
Dean whips his head around incredulously, "'She's flown somewhere'? Cas, she's a year old, how the hell are we gonna find her?"
There are heavy footfalls as they disperse to search. Cas agrees to pop in and out of familiar places downtown, Dean takes the backyard and Sam agrees to look in the house in case she flies back.
After ten minutes of frantic dizzying searching Dean hears a cry from from the back door and tears back across the yard and into the kitchen where Sam is standing over the sink.
Happily sitting in the warm soapy dish water is Bobbi, splashing her hands at the little bubbles.
"Oh she'll play in the sink but if you're trying to wash her hair she screams," Dean sighs, walking over to place a hand on Bobbi's dark haired head. "Roberta Samantha Winchester, you better never pull this crap again."
Castiel reappears and looks from Sam to Dean to Bobbi and his mouth pulls into a small Cas smile.
"She can fly, Dean." He says, and in a rare move, leans into Dean and watches their daughter babble in the sink, idly playing with a sponge.
"Our kid's a damn badass, babe." Dean grins back before reaching to lift their soaking wet child.
Her little pink polka dotted camo accented dress is ruined, but it doesn't break Dean's heart one bit - Garth had no idea how to dress any child, let alone a girl.
"Da-dee," She babbles as Dean pulls a towel over the tuft of rich brown hair on top of her head.
"That's me, babe." He holds the new and clean Bobbi up and smiles before pulling her into his chest, pressing his lips to her forehead.
He spins her carefully through the room singing softly, "Santa's on his way, he's filled his sleigh with things, things for you and for me."
Castiel appears in the doorway and watches Dean dance around the room with Bobbi, her eyes sleepily closing as she rests her head on his shoulder.
"Papa," She yawns, barely keeping her eyes open and Dean takes her to her crib.
For a few minutes Dean and Cas don't say anything, they just stand over the crib and watch Bobbi's chest rise and fall evenly.
"I think I may be biased, but she is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes upon," Cas whispers, turning to Dean carefully.
Dean places a hand on Castiel's cheek and the cheese in the room gets turned up to eleven, "It's because she looks like you."
He leans in gently and presses his mouth to Castiel's pink lips, who responds happily to the contact and wraps one hand around Dean's waist. When they break apart, Dean points to the ceiling, where a sprig of mistletoe hangs innocently.
"Sam, what a dirty bastard," Dean whispers, grabbing Castiel's hand and towing him towards the door to the nursery.
January 3rd marks Bobbi's first birthday, and though she'd received the most presents out of anyone at Christmas, the Winchesters were determined to make this the best first birthday of any kid ever.
"Dean, you need to call Garth and invite him," Sam says as they hang balloons in the living room.
Dean scowls but takes his phone from his pocket and punches in the familiar numbers. Garth's ringback tone was something by Salt-N-Pepa and after a few too many 'push it real good's he answered.
"¡Hola!" Garth's familiar and irritating cheer is palpable even through a cellular connection.
"Hey, it's Dean - listen it's Bobbi's first birthday tomorrow and-"
"I know, amigo! I'll be in New York in a couple of hours. I wouldn't miss it for the world!"
And okay, Garth's actually a pretty great friend and if Dean was Catholic he might've considered making him Bobbi's godfather.
"Hope you got the pull out couch ready for the Garth-meister, ya idjit."
Dean doesn't even bother trying to explain idjit again, "Okay, just give us a call when you're closer. Oh and if Bobbi flies while you're here, try not to shit yourself, okay? Okay, see you soon."
He closes the phone after Garth promises to warn him before he shows up with inevitable awkward hugs in tow.
There's snow out on the ground lingering from a few days before and Dean can see Castiel through the window, his nose pink from the wind. He has his hand wrapped around the almost-birthday girl's and is helping her walk around in the white slush.
Dean can make out Bobbi's lips moving and no doubt she's babbling in some bastardized Enochian/English hybrid. It feels like a damn Hallmark movie.
When Garth arrives there are plenty of awkward hugs, but Bobbi waddles her way straight to him, screeching something that sounds like "Guhth!"
"Well, hi there little lady, I missed you too." He pulls her up to his side and she snatches out for his hat.
Castiel makes a spaghetti dinner and they all sit around the table and discuss recent hunts Garth's gone on and Dean realizes as he watches Castiel wash plates and Sam hand out beers and Bobbi smear spaghetti all over her face, he doesn't miss it at all. He doesn't miss the ache in his bones from sleeping on crappy beds or being terrified every minute of every day.
He's happy, really happy, with his strange little family.
Bobbi's birthday is quiet; she gets a few new books from Sam that she will no doubt rip to shreds within the next month. Dean and Cas give her a little car to use in the yard and Garth pulls a little baby cowgirl hat out of a bag.
"Now that is one stylin' baby." He says after covering her dark hair with it. "Y'know if Bobby was here, he'd be pretty proud."
Cas winds a arm around Dean's shoulder, watching Sam trying and failing to get Bobbi interested in one of her new books.
"Yes. I believe he is."