Welcome to a chapter of texts and phonecalls. I tried something just a tad different in how I displayed these, hoping to make it easy to understand. Kurt and Luke are italicized, Blaine and Jared are not ;)

This chapter is a very belated engagement present to Liam and Darren! I am so happy for you guys! Muah!

Thank you, gottriplets, for being my lovely beta. Thank you, klainenation, for being my inspiration as always.

Holy crap, you guys are excited about Luke and Jared! :) This chapter is your chance to vote on ship names for their bromance ;) So far, from a Facebook poll, Juke is in the lead...

Much Love,


Kurt and Blaine

Why can't you come over here? ~B

Because if I come over we're going to stay up all night having sex ~K

I'm failing to see the problem. I, in fact, am only seeing incentive ~B

The problem, darling, is that it is already 10pm. I have yet to eat dinner, and I have to be up tomorrow at 5, looking stunningly beautiful no less. I cannot do that if I'm up all night fucking you ~K

Who says you are doing the fucking? I will do all the work, baby. You can just lie there and be taken care of. No energy spent ~B

Unless you plan on fucking me in my sleep, then, yes, energy spent ~K

Um, btw, that's not some creepy thing you like to do is it? Doing guys in their sleep? Cuz, if that's the case then we have a problem ~K

Hmmm, I don't know. You're the first guy I've ever had sex with. Maybe I will be into that ~B

God you're lucky I already know you well enough to realize that you're joking. Your creepy perv reading just shot through the roof. Take a note, honey. Most normal people can't read your tone and facial expressions via text ~K

Good thing you're not normal then ~B

Touché ~K

*sigh* So I won't see you till tomorrow? ~B

We just spent two days together, Blaine! We also had lunch together today! ~K

Lunch involving Luke and Jared. That does not count as quality boyfriend time in my book ~B

We had to all meet at some point. After they saw us making out in a public place I think we owed it to them. They're like our platonic spouses. There's no way I'd be dating you without you meeting Luke, and that's even more true for you with Jared. God, he's protective of you! ~K

He's not that bad ~B

He's not bad at all, honey. But, yes, he IS insanely protective. You didn't hear the way he grilled me when you and Luke were getting our food ~K

He what? ~B

Yes, it felt like the world's most intense job interview. I was sweating bullets ~K

Oh, god! I'm sorry, babe ~B

Hey, don't apologize. Apart from the bit when he proved that he is clearly a much scarier bitch than I, I thought it was super sweet. He really loves you and you deserve to be loved like that ~K

Awww, Kurt... you're making me blush, baby. Just so you know, I'm not the only one with a protective best friend. Luke grilled me too, in his own... special way ~B

Oh, fuck. What did he say? ~K

Well, he asked me how serious I was about this, and when I told him I was very serious he asked if you felt the same. I said you did. He said he was happy for us. Then he told me that if I ever just up and left you one day because I was tired of being with a guy he would hunt me down and rip out my heart. I came close to peeing myself. I'm pretty sure his murderous threats rivaled Jared's bitchiness ~B

He didn't ~K

Oh, he then went on to ask me if an asshole is a lot tighter than a vagina ~B

Shut up! ~K

Um, no...? ~B

I can't believe him. I'm so sorry! ~K

Baby, I'm going to say the same thing to you that you said to me. Don't apologize. I'm thrilled you have someone who is so protective of you. I can handle it. Be warned though. You are stuck with me for life, else Luke murders me :) ~B

I don't think I'd feel stuck, honey. In fact, I know I wouldn't ~K

Have I told you lately that you're the best boyfriend in the whole world? ~B

23 times today alone. I scanned through my text history before I left work. I counted. We both have problems ~K

It apparently needed to be said 23 times today and no less. Hey, where are you right now? ~B

Still in my taxi. Almost home ~K

You're still out! Come here instead! Please! ~B

Honey, we just talked about this! ~K

I'm pouting. Picture me. I'm fucking adorable. You should totally give in ~B

I am picturing you. You are very fucking adorable. I would even dare say adorably fuckable ~K

I am adorably fuckable. Even, irresistibly fuckable. Give in, Kurt. Give in to the dark side ~B

Nope. While I fully appreciate your adorableness... and your fuckableness, I am not a slave to it. And did you seriously just try to entice me by using a Star Trek reference? Do you even know me? ~K

Okay, I'm going to see the silver lining here and just appreciate the fact that you at least spelled it 'Trek' instead of 'Track'... but... Ohmygod, Kurt! Star WARS! That was Star WARS! Luke! Vader! The Emperor! The Force! Holy lord, I have so much to teach you! ~B

I thought they were the same thing ~K

A knife. A knife into my very soul ~B

And I repeat. You are far and away the drama queen in this relationship ~K

You just committed a science fiction cardinal sin, babe. It was drama worthy ~B

Well, you'll just have to teach me then ~K

Come over tonight and I'll start :) ~B

Blaine! No. I'll see you tomorrow ~K

Please? I had a bad day. You need to cheer me up ~B

What? Oh honey! Why was it a bad day? What happened? Oh, I knew it! I knew when you didn't talk much at lunch that it must have been going badly ~K

Honey, chill. It's okay. I didn't mean anything by that. I was just saying that I missed you all day is all ~B

Why don't I believe you? You're trying not to worry me ~K

Believe me. I'm trying not to worry you because there is nothing to worry about. I'm sorry. It's getting late and I'm tired and I get weird when I'm tired. Maybe it's a good thing you're not coming over. I think I just need to sleep ~B

Blaine! You're lying to me! I can sense it! Why was it a bad day? Did someone at work give you shit because of me? ~K

Kurt, no. For real. I was just being an idiot. I do that on occasion ~B

*sigh* Fine. I still don't completely believe you, but I guess it'll hold till tomorrow. You're totally spilling then though. Hey listen, I'm home now so I'm gonna go in a sec ~K

Okay, have a good night, baby. I'll be dreaming of you ~B

God, you are sappy! I so fucking love it :) ~K

Yup. I'm a sappy nerd with no filter. You still want to be with me? ~B

Every single moment, honey ~K

Then come over! ~B

You are relentless. Wait... I thought you just said it was a good thing I wasn't coming! ~K

Oh, right... ~B

Listen, I'll spend the night tomorrow, okay? ~K

Fine. I suppose I'll survive ~B

Hey, before I go... can I ask you something? ~K

Sure ~B

When Luke asked you the asshole/vagina question. Um, what did you say? ~K

I pretty sure I just mumbled something incoherent ~B

Okaaaay, but... tell me... ~K

So much fucking tighter, Kurt. So fucking amazing. God, I just want to be fucking you again right now ~B

Fuck this. We're having phone sex. I'm going to finger myself while listening to you jerk off so I can picture you fucking me. I'll call you back in 40 minutes ~K

Flkd.,,, ~B

Blaine? ~K

Sorry. Dropped my phone. Don't wait longer than the 40 minutes. I may be forced to start without you ~B

Fine. 30 ~K

Fuck ~B

Blaine tossed his phone aside with a happy groan, trying to ignore the fact that he was pretty much fully hard. He soon gave up and stripped down, climbing into his bed and waiting for Kurt to call him.

His mind wandered while he waited, and he was, unfortunately, reminded of his day. Kurt was right. He had been lying. It really had been shitty. His lunch with Kurt, Jared and Luke had far and away been the highlight, and that included Luke threatening to kill him, followed up by inappropriate questions about gay sex.

If he was being completely honest with himself, the real reason he had wanted Kurt to come over was just so that he wouldn't have to be alone. He would have been perfectly happy not having sex at all, just cuddling the whole night.

He smirked a bit. Who was he kidding? If they were together they would have been ripping each other's clothes off in minutes. Hell, they were both in their own places tonight and they couldn't stop themselves from at least having phone sex.

Blaine squirmed a bit, working hard to not touch himself before the phone rang. He wanted it to last, and if he started now there was absolutely no way. He sighed, turning to his side and thumbing through the texts he and Kurt had sent back and forth all day. There were dozens and dozens, scattered from the moment they had parted in the morning, till just now.

A warm tingling feeling spread through him as he read their banter. He felt an intense combination of happiness and chest-tightening achiness when he thought of the upcoming call. He was obviously excited for the sex, but he was just as excited to simply hear Kurt's voice before falling asleep.

Then he would fall asleep, alone, worrying if the next day would be just as shitty.

Luke and Jared

Dude! We need one of those ship names ~L

Ummm, who, might I ask, is this? ~J

What?! I'm hurt. Did you make another new buddy today who is currently the best friend of a very gay man who is dating your supposedly straight best friend? How could you not know it's me?! What happened to us? We used to be so perfect! ~L

Oh my god. How did you get my number, Luke? And, did you just quote Hoobastank? ~J

I stole it from Blaine's phone when the adorable couple was busy playing footsie and you were busy making jealous face at Kurt. And yes I did ~L

I was not making... I don't... what the heck is jealous face, even? And why did you feel the need to steal my number? ~J

Oh, you were totally making jealous face. Trust me. Jealous face is when your eyes get all squinty and you start breathing a little too intensely through your nose ~L

And I stole your number because I thought it might be smart for us to get involved in this little intrigue. Our dear friends are throwing themselves into something pretty big, pretty fast. They would probably benefit from our combined wisdom and support ~L

Jared? ~L


Ohmygod! Don't text yell at me! I was thinking ~J

In that case it is courteous to send a quick text saying 'I'm currently thinking about my response. I've not forgotten you. Be with you in a mo' ~L

You're a bit insufferable ~J

Awww, look at you all sweet and polite. Most people just call me an dick ~L

I'm always polite. Look, okay. I admit I was maybe just the tiniest bit... concerned at first. Sure, they were all adorable on the street, but I barely even got to shake his hand before you guys rushed off to work. Then I had to watch all morning while Blaine was suddenly treated like shit by about half of our co-workers because of this whole thing. I mean, yes, there may have been just the smallest bit a jealousy for a moment. I mean, I've never seen Blaine that way with another guy before and we've always been so close. It was just a little jarring. I had to remind myself that this is a boyfriend, not a friend. It's an adjustment. Mostly though, I was just afraid that he would go through all of this for Kurt and then Kurt would leave him. Buuut... We got talking while you guys were getting our burgers and I've decided that he seems like a stand-up guy. So no more jealous face ~J

Dude. That was the longest text ever. My phone broke it into four messages. Think abbreviations ~L

I had a lot to say! ~J

Obviously. Listen, I get it. I was concerned too. I had a chat with Blaine about it ~L

What did you guys talk about? ~J

He said they really like each other. I told him if he hurts Kurt I'd rip his heart out. He said okay. I asked him if an asshole is tighter than a vagina ~L

That was your entire conversation? And also, what is wrong with you? ~J

Course. Why? And the answer is a lot. A lot is wrong with me ~L

You'd think I'd be able to understand straight men better after being best friends with one for so long. I don't. You're odd ~J

Well, to be fair, the example you've been using is now taking it up the ass, so... ~L

Ohmygod, you are a dick! ~J

HA! Told you I was :) And what?! I'm not saying anything that isn't true ~L

You don't have to be a dick about it though?! God, how does Kurt put up with you? And besides that, how do you even know? You don't know which positions they've done it in! ~J

Oh christ, you've gotten me to stoop to your level ~J

AHA! Well, I think it's actually physically painful for him to put up with me somedays, but I make up for my dickheadedness with extreme amounts of loyalty. Also, you're right. We don't know how they've done it. Let's make bets and ask ~ L

I am not making a bet! ~J

It'll be fun! ~L

No. End of discussion. But, going back a couple topics, maybe you're right about getting involved just a little bit. For support ~J

Spoil sport. And yes. I'm right...Wait. Why am I right? I mean this time in particular ~L

Well, Blaine had a pretty bad day today. This was a huge thing to have happen publically, with no warning for anyone. Including Blaine. I know that he wasn't prepared for some of the negative responses he got from our co-workers. It just broke my heart ~J

Man, that sucks. And it pisses me the fuck off. So, are they all just homophobic assholes? Do they treat you like shit? ~L

No, actually. That's what made it even worse. It was unexpected from some of them ~J

What?! Why in the hell? That makes no sense! ~L

Preaching to the choir. Prejudice and ignorance rarely makes sense though ~J

I think that when it comes to being there for our friends, the support half is gonna come from me, and the wisdom half is gonna come from you, cuz that was some wise-ass shit you just spouted ~L

Fine, lol ~J

So, is he okay? Blaine? ~L

I really don't know. I think this is where our support is gonna come in handy though ~J

Fan-fucking-tastic! Okay, that brings me back to the very first thing I said. We're a team now! Brotherhood! We need a name for the two of us! One of those ship names! ~L

What... ship name? Are you talking about when crazy fangirls smoosh the names of two famous people together? ~J

Don't forget the fanBOYS. We may be fewer but we're just as crazy ~L

Where do I even start... We are not famous. We are not a couple. We are not even friends. We are barely acquaintances ~J

Don't fight it. The bromance is blooming as we spring to the rescue of our besties ~L

Besties? Are you a twelve year old girl? ~J

Why you gotta be so mean? Where is the love? Don't let our bromance wane ~L

We don't have a bromance ~J

Dude. This is the longest text conversation in the history of my life. Including the longest texts of my life. Don't fight this feeling ~L

If you start quoting REO Speedwagon I'm out ~J

I can't fight this feeling anymore! I've forgotten what I started fighting for! ~L

I'm out ~J

*kisses* ~L

Oh god. I'm stuck with you now, aren't I? ~J

You bet your sweet pooftah ass you are ~L

You are the most offensive person I know. Goonight Luke ~J

Night Jar ~L

Kurt and Blaine

"Oh, god. I thought you would never call."

"It's been exactly thirty minutes, Blaine!"

"Longest thirty minutes of my life."

"Did you start without me?"

"No, but I was close. I figured if I was going to have a chance in hell of lasting the whole time I'd better not."

"*laughter* You could have jerked off real quick and then come again with me if you were so desperate."

"Yeah, but, recovery time and all. I didn't want you to call and have to say, 'sorry, I just got done pleasuring myself. You'll have to wait for, oh, around five to ten minutes', and that's assuming this is one of my super quick recovery days. I'm not seventeen anymore."

"Honey, you're dating a guy now. I guess I can't speak for all guys, but for me? Stuff like that, I'm just gonna get it, not be offended. My brain works along the same lines as yours with this stuff."

"Reason number three hundred and eighty-six why I love dating you."

"Mmmm, I'm about to give you... unh... reason number three hundred eighty-seven."

"Oh, god... are you already..."

"Yup. I, on the other hand, did not wait until we were talking to start."

"Oh man. Okay. What do you want... how do you want to do this?"

"Talk to me about what you would do if you were here."

"Um, if I were there, I would... watch you. Watch what you're doing right now."

"Hmmmm, what would you do while you watched? Would you touch yourself?"

"Y-yes. I would start jerking off... really slow."

"Are you doing that now?"


"Hhuunh... Then what?"

"Then I would... move over... and start stroking you too."

"Would you stroke us both with one hand? Would you straddle me and grab us both?"

"Yes. Both our dicks, in my hand."

"Yes, Blaine..."

"Then I'd kiss you everywhere, and I'd ask if I could help you get ready."

"And I'd say, 'No, just watch'."

"Oh, fuck."

"Mmmmm, god... Blaine..."

"Does it feel good, baby?"

"Yes, so good. I want... tell me what you'd do if I said I was ready. That I wanted you."

"I'd say that feels a little fast, but this is just in our heads, so what the hell..."

"Blaine, come on..."

"I'd push your hand aside..."


"I'd lean down on top of you and kiss you..."


"I'd keep kissing you, kissing your neck, and run my hand over you..."

"Uh... huh..."

"And make sure you were really ready, cuz I'm still overly nervous about accidentally hurting you..."

" *breathless laughter* "

"And then... I'd start fucking you..."

"Fuck... yes..."

"Kurt... feels so good..."

"Yes... fuck me, baby... fuck me hard..."

"God, yes. Gonna fuck you so hard... you feel so good..."

"YES, right there, keep, guh... "

"Close baby... Kurt... so..."

"Me... too..."

"So good..."






"So close. Almost..."

"Yes. I'm gonna... gonna..."


"Yes! Blaine! Fuck! Yes! Yes! Yes..."




" *panting* "

" *panting* "


"You are so... fucking perfect."

"Aha! Now you gonna... dream of me?"

"Yep. *sigh* Just wish I was holding you too."

"I know baby. Tomorrow night, K? Right. Falling asleep."

"K. Me too. Sweet dreams."

"You, too, honey. You, too."

Kurt and Jared


Kurt started, eyes popping open, heart beating a bit faster. It took him a moment to figure out what had woken him up.


Who is texting me this late? It can't be Blaine. I swear I just got off the... Oh my gosh! Was I still talking to Blaine and fell asleep on him?

He blushed a bit, diving for his phone. He looked on in surprise when he saw that it wasn't from Blaine. It was from Jared.

Kurt? Hey, this is Jared. Blaine's friend ~J

Um, yes. Hi ~K

I'm sorry to bother you so late, I didn't wake you up, did I? ~J

Well, yes, but just barely. Don't worry about it. Not to be rude at all, but how do you have my number? ~K

Oh man, sorry for waking you. I'll be quick. And... I kind of stole it from Blaine's phone at work today ~J

Kurt smirked.

Ha! That kind of sounds like something Luke would do ~K

Um, yeah. About that. Please don't tell him I did this. He'll never let me live it down ~J

He raised a curious eyebrow at that, but shook his head.

I want to ask how you doing that would make any difference to him, seeing as you've known him for all of one day, but then I remember we're talking about Luke, and I think I'd rather not know ~K

Trust your instincts ~J

Kurt threw his head back to laugh, thinking this man already had shockingly good grasp on Luke.

So, what can I do for you? ~K

Are you with Blaine right now? ~J

Nope. I'm home ~K

Okay. Look, I don't want to interfere. I realize that you and Blaine are adults. I care about him so much though. I just want to know, did he talk to you about everything that happened today? ~J

Kurt felt himself grow cold inside.

No. He insinuated that it had been a bad day, but then he took it back, saying he was just being weird. I knew he wasn't telling me the truth. I should have pushed him to tell me ~K

Again. Trust your instincts. He won't talk about that kind of stuff unless pushed, and it was... a bad day ~J

Kurt curled into himself, feeling just sick, thinking that anything that had happened that day was obviously his fault.

What happened? ~K

I'm going to let Blaine tell you that. I don't feel like it's my place ~J

Kurt sighed in exasperation.

Well then, should I call him tonight? How bad is bad? ~K

Bad enough that he probably really needs you but won't say it. I'd be over there, but it's not me he needs right now ~J

Shit. He asked me to come over. It was late though and I have to up early... Shit ~K

Hey, look. I get that. I'm not judging. I am going to look out for my best friend though, and you need to know how awful today was. He basically came out to everyone in our office ~J

Kurt's eyes narrowed.

Um, well, not to be rude, once again, but I am a gay man. I know what it's like to come out. I know what it's like to be judged. I'm going to be there for him, Jared ~K

How old were you when you came out? ~J

Kurt sat back in surprise, thinking that this was kind of random.

Sixteen ~K

How long had you known you were gay? ~J

Probably a couple years ~K

Do you think that most people in your life probably already knew that you were gay? Or was it an absolute shock to people? ~J

Kurt stopped to think for a moment, then rolled his eyes.

Yeah. I highly doubt it was a shock to most people ~K

Look. I am not belittling your experience for one second. Trust me. Another gay man speaking here. No matter how old, or how prepared you think you are, it is a huge and sometimes terrifying thing. But just, really stop and think about this from both Blaine's point of view, and from the people in his life. Completely straight man. For years now. Always attracted to women. Always dated women. Despite having a very gay best friend, never gave the slightest inkling he could be gay. He shows up one day, making out with a man on the street. Out of nowhere. Most of the people at work think that he's been lying about who he is, and the truly ignorant ones think he's been 'infected' with gay. Only a very select few were understanding about it. On top of that. He's had no time to prepare himself for this. Mentally. Emotionally. He's been 'outed' before he barely had time to realize there was actually something to 'out'. He's reeling, and that's putting it lightly ~J

Kurt groaned, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

First off honey, that was the longest text I've ever received. Secondly, I knew it. I mean, I hadn't thought about things exactly like that, but I knew it would be hard. Harder than normal even. I should have gone over there. Shit! Now I feel like the worst boyfriend ever ~K

You and Luke think way too similarly, only he calls me dude ~J

What? ~K

Nothing. Listen, you're not a bad boyfriend, Kurt. At all. I can tell. And I'm not trying to get in the middle. I just see how happy you make him. I want this to work as much as you guys do ~J

I appreciate that. Okay. I need to go fix this ~K

What are you gonna do? ~J

Not sure yet. Whatever it is though, I'm sure he'll tell you about it ;) ~K

True :) Okay, I'll leave you to it ~J

Hey, thanks. Really. I kinda needed to smacked into reality just a bit ~K

No problem. Go make my little friend happy ~J

I'm on it ~K

Kurt tossed his phone aside then, chewing his lip indecisively. He glanced at his watch and groaned. It was well after 11 and he needed to be awake before 5. His stomach flip-flopped a bit. He'd never be able to sleep now, even if he tried. Even the thought of Blaine needing him turned his world upside down.

He jumped out of bed, knowing exactly what he needed to do.


Blaine sucked in a deep breath through his nose, shooting up in bed, blinking rapidly.

What? Who? What?

He scrambled around on his bed, searching for his phone. He smiled sleepily when he saw that it was Kurt, but then blinked in surprise.

I'm outside your building. I think. Either I'm in the wrong place or your buzzer is broken... Or you're sleeping through it. Whichever way I'm cold and want to be in bed with you ~K

Blaine scrambled out of bed, rubbing his eyes blindly as an elated smile crossed his face.

The buzzer is broken. I'm letting you in right now ~B

He ran quickly to buzz Kurt in, then dashed back to his room to search his drawers and throw on a pair of pants. He ran back just in time to hear a light rapping on the door. He threw it open with a sleepy grin, and had an armful boyfriend before he could even get a good look at him.

"Hey," he mumbled into Kurt's neck, rubbing his back. "What are you doing here? I thought you needed your sleep?"

"You're more important than sleep," Kurt whispered, pulling back to look into Blaine's surprised face.

"Wha-mmmmph," Blaine sighed contentedly as Kurt placed a sweet kiss on his mouth. He gently pushed his boyfriend back with a confused smile. "As lovely as that is, and as much as it means to me, what changed your mind?"

Kurt shrugged, adjusting the small overnight bag on his shoulder.

"I just- wanted to be here for you. I should have come when you asked me to. I know today was a lot harder than you're saying."

Blaine swallowed roughly, then smiled as he grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled him inside.

"It was. I can't tell you how glad I am that you're here. And as much as we need to talk, we should wait till tomorrow. I'm just happy to be able to hold you."

Kurt grinned, setting his bag aside and kicking off his shoes as he followed Blaine in. Linking fingers, he let his boyfriend lead him to the bedroom.

"That sounds absolutely perfect."

Blaine smiled softly, squeezing Kurt's hand as he led the way. It did sound perfect. Suddenly, tomorrow didn't seem nearly as daunting.