Brittany Pierce loved her job on one of the most popular shows on network television (two years ago.) It was awesome. She got to do awesome things like dance and sing and dance some more. Every once in a while, she got to say lines. Which was awesome, too.
Brittany also had a girlfriend. She was okay, I guess. Maybe a bit weird. Her name was Tina and TEEN BEAT called them Tittany because that's what people did. They mash celebrity couple's names together and pretty much take away any kind of individual identity. Soon, the only thing you're known for is being in that particular couple. Which makes it really hard when you want to break up. Seeing as how you're literally mashed into a relationship.
Tina was also on the show that was popular two years ago. Only Tina didn't just get lines every once in a while, Tina got lines all the time. She got lines when there were no lines. She made up lines. She made people write lines into the script while it was being filmed, so she'd have more lines than anybody else in the scene. She made the closed captioning people add lines even when her mouth wasn't moving.
Tina was awesome. Girls threw their underwear at her in parades. Katie Couric did so during a live interview, twice. The second time Tina caught them in her teeth. She was just the coolest bitch ever. She was a spokeswoman for two competitive companies, that's how friggin' cool she was. One time, she wore a flannel shirt backwards and the next day, 42 million flannel shirts were sold. The day after that, most of them were worn backwards. She was charming and had a killer wink. Seriously, she killed a poor fangirl once by leveling a wink of epic proportions on the unsuspecting youngster. Tina Cohen-Chang was a dream girl...in public.
And she was nothing if not public. People took pictures of her on the beach, in cars, in bars, on the street, driving a scooter, carrying her dog, picking up dog poop, buying food, ordering food, throwing food away, posing with small children, wearing hats, pointing at pickles, looking at shoes, talking with other famous people, in the airport, talking with other famous people in the airport, renting porn in cheap sunglasses, eating only purple Skittles, donating money to sweatshops, at Laker games looking bored, walking across bridges, pushing unidentified toddlers in strollers, and sneaking out of charity events. Every once in a while, Brittany would also be in the picture. Then somebody's grandma in Denver would say, "Oh yeah, that's that girl in the relationship with Tina who's on that show that was popular two years ago. What's her name? Brenda! That's what it is."
It was Brittany. And she was a part of Tittany. Brittany wished it was BritTina, but it wasn't. It was Tittany. There's nothing more embarrassing than being in a lesbian relationship and having a portmanteau when it was Tittany. Titts for short.
Headline: TITTS IN TINSELTOWN! Headline: TITTS HEADING FOR THE ALTAR? Headline: TITTS ON THE ROCKS. Headline: TITTS ADOPTING? Headline: TITTS TOGETHER FOREVER! Headline: TWO TITTS! ONE UNIDENTIFIED HOT TUB WOMAN!
So, that was Brittany's life. She was cool. She had a cool job. She made a cool amount of money. She had an okay girlfriend. If we're talking about quality of character, Tina would fit into "okay" territory. But, she also couldn't stand to see herself on one more magazine with the word TITTS stamped across her forehead while Tina was cheesing.
Then there was that other slightly troublesome thing.
There were a lot of changes on the set of their show. It was entering it's fourth year. While it was set at a Midwestern college, there was an influx of new characters to help boost the ratings. Brittany was okay with that. She loved meeting new people. She never once thought that it would be a bad thing. Well, it wasn't really. No, certainly not a bad thing.
Santana Lopez was not a bad thing. She wasn't bad looking. She wasn't a bad actress. She didn't smell bad. She didn't say bad things. She didn't even use bad grammar.
Santana Lopez was kind of perfect. She was the kind of girl that would let your name be first in the portmanteau.
And THAT was a problem. The kind of problem Meat Loaf would sing about, actually.
It had only been a few months. It had only taken a few months. But now, Santana Lopez was the only thing Brittany could think about. She leered at her during scenes. She popped in at Santana's trailer. She dropped things so that Santana would pick them up. And that, by the way, was fucking glorious because Santana played a cheerleader who didn't know that college cheerleaders don't wear their cheerleading uniforms while they're just walking around on campus.
She brought Santana coffee. She ordered Santana lunch. She always got too many bagels, so she could share them with Santana.
The madness had to stop!
So Brittany stopped it. She stopped it by breaking up with Tina. She had to. The relationship was all but over anyway. They barely spoke. Tina was keeping the underwear that had been thrown at her for a while and Brittany knew it. She needed to be free. Both of them did. Tina needed to mack on all the chicks who wanted to be the other person in TITTS and Brittany needed Santana Lopez to notice her.
So they quietly parted ways. Brittany took her box full of things back into her little apartment a few miles from the studio that she shared with her sometimes friend/sometimes idiot roommate Puck. She had never really moved in with Tina. It never felt like the right time. Or maybe it just never felt right at all. Luckily, she had continued to pay rent so that Puck could stay at the place. The two of them had rented it when they had first started to make a little money (hers on the show and his cleaning celebrity pools) and they both loved it. Brittany loved it because it felt homey. Puck loved it because it was two blocks away from a whorehouse.
"Ah," she said as she settled on the couch that night. "Home."
"Yeah," Puck said. He wasn't exactly thrilled that his roommate was suddenly back in his bachelor pad. She had already made him clean more than he had cleaned in a year. "I was really rooting for Titts and not just because I was using your room as a sex staging area."
"That's really gross, Puck," Brittany said. "I'm so glad that I anticipated that kind of thing and had it repainted, recarpeted, and disinfected."
"Oh, and here's your camera," Brittany threw him a naked lady figurine. "Maxine's red light is not only incredibly vulgar, it's also a dead giveaway."
"So, it's over?"
"And you're okay with that?"
"I'm fine with it," Brittany said. "Everything is fine."
And it was. At least until she changed her Facebook picture from the one that displayed happy smiling TITTS to one of her with her mom, Holly Holliday. Yes, that Holly Holliday. The world renown podiatrist, Holly Holliday. "Your feet are my business!"
Before Brittany even knew what hit her, there were four hashtags on Twitter. #TITTSSEPARATED and #TITTSNOMORE and #TITTSGOESSOUTH and #GETTITTSBACKTOGETHER.
"But what if Titts just don't want to be together anymore, Mom?" Brittany asked.
"That's Titts prerogative," Holly said. "You can't keep Titts together just for Titts sake."
"That's what I've been trying to say," Brittany explained. "I just wish they'd leave my Titts alone."
"They will, just give it time." Holly gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead. "Now I've got to go talk to some dumbasses about some feet, okay? You'll be alright?"
"Sure, Mom," Brittany replied. "Go ahead."
Holly gave the sound guy a thumbs up and waited for her theme music to come on. When Madonna's 'Holiday' filled the auditorium, she gave Brittany a wink, put on her headset microphone and walked onto the stage. "Get on your healthy feet!" she yelled as she stepped out from behind the curtain.
Brittany stayed until the point in the presentation when Holly started on toejam and she then she left. That was always the part where she took her leave. She had to head back to the set anyway. It was going to be so awkward. Tina hadn't been there that morning, she wasn't due back until the next day. But, that afternoon, Santana would be. All beautiful, charming, and amazing Santana Lopez.
Santana was so sweet. She laughed at nearly all the ridiculous things Brittany said. She did the cutest little scrunchy face. She touched Brittany when she was talking to her. It was nearly a lean, even. Sometimes it was open handed against her upper arm. Sometimes it was a brush of fingertips over her wrist. It was always packed with something undefinable. It always jolted Brittany right out of her skin.
As she made the turn to head to her trailer, she saw Santana in all of her wondrous cheerleading uniformed glory. She immediately craved one of those Santana touches, so she went over to see if she could get that satisfied ASAP.
"Hi," Brittany gave Santana a little wave. "How are you?"
Santana didn't let her down. At all. In fact, she pulled Brittany into her arms for a hug, "No, how are you? I heard Titts was kaput."
"Did you read that online?"
Brittany heard a breath of air that she just knew accompanied a smile, "You caught me. It was on Jacob Ben Israel's blog this morning."
"Of course," Brittany sighed. She felt Santana arms tighten around her back, so she reciprocated the action. She'd happily stand here all day.
Unfortunately, it didn't last all day. Santana pulled back and narrowed her eyes at Brittany. "Seriously Britt, are you okay?"
"Sure, I am," she said. "Of course. Tina and I...it just wasn't working."
"Honestly," Santana took a look around, lowered her voice, and beckoned Brittany closer. "I don't know how you were with her anyway."
"Oh," Brittany, being Brittany, immediately jumped to a conclusion. "She wasn't as famous when we started dating. We were both just starting out."
"What? No, no. That's not what I meant, Britt." Santana smiled a full on dimpled smile at how silly Brittany was being. "I meant, you're so great. And she's so...not great."
"You think I'm great?"
"Of course!" Santana hooked her arm through Brittany's and led her toward the set.
"Really?" Brittany asked.
"You're the greatest, Britt."
Brittany couldn't help the big ass smile that overtook her mouth. "I've been meaning to tell you something, Santana..."
"What's that?" the brunette asked as something caught her eye.
"Uh," he caught Brittany's eye, too. That's because he was approaching them. Coming right at them like he was on a fucking mission.
"Hey Mike," Santana greeted him with a weird half grin.
"Hey," he said and the gave Brittany a somber tight lipped smile. "Hey Britt. How are you?"
"Fine," Brittany answered quickly, ready to get rid of him.
But consoling Brittany didn't seem to be what Mike Chang was doing here. "So, Santana, did you consider my offer?"
Santana laughed. It was a cutesy chuckling, blushing, eye fluttering, shoulders up and in, sigh kind of laugh. "I told you to give me some time to think about it, Mike. You gave me an hour."
"So two hours?" Mike held up two fingers and gave her and up and down as he retreated. Yeah, Brittany knew that up and down. She'd been giving this girl the up and down for months.
"Mike?" Brittany asked as soon as he was out of earshot.
"Is he a creep or something?" Santana inquired. "I don't know a lot about him."
"Not a creep."
"Are you sure? You look hesitant..."
"He's not a creep. He's pretty cool, actually," Brittany said.
"Not as cool as some people, though," Santana hinted.
Brittany didn't hear it though. She was wondering just how Mike Chang wanted to die.
"You're such a dickhead, Finn Hudson!" Santana said as she punched him hard on the arm. "I have no idea why I listened to you."
"It didn't work?"
"Hell no, it didn't work," Santana fumed. "I can't believe I really expected her to..."
"Ask you out?"
"Say she likes you?"
"No!" Santana's face softened. "Well...yeah. I know it's only been a couple of days since the end of Titts..."
"Titts was a timebomb," Finn said with a comforting pat. "We've been waiting for the explosion for months. BOOM! POW! Titts everywhere!"
"No," Finn interrupted. "Santana, don't. Brittany was way too good for Terrible Tina. She's nuts. And weird. Brittany is sweet and fantastic. And you two seem to be really close already."
"I thought so."
"So maybe we shouldn't have used Mike in a nefarious plot."
"That's where you're an idiot, and I'm a bigger idiot for going along with it," the girl sighed. "And Mike? What a stupid move, now she'll probably think I'm straight or something."
"Don't worry," Finn said. His eyes were lit up, she could almost make out the light bulb above his head. "I know just what to do!"
Santana really doubted that. She doubted it even more a few hours later when nothing had happened except she had flubbed her lines and spilled a latte down her cheerleading top. But, Finn was a good guy. He was the very first one that greeted her when she arrived on set the first day. He reminded her a puppy whose feet were too big. He sort of just flopped around. The two of them became buddies and soon she disclosed her interest in one Brittany "Babe-a-licious" Pierce. He had immediately told her to be careful. Not because of Brittany, but because of her girlfriend. Everyone on the set called her Terrible Tina. She was a nightmare co-star. She was a bitch and three quarters. And she made Artie the PA separate her purple skittles and use the rest of them to create Tina-inspired Skittle art.
Of course, Santana already knew about Titts. Everyone did. It was a household relationship. Two, young, cute lesbians on a popular TV show (two years ago.) Of course, they'd be the cat's pajamas among the young, inspired, and proactive. They were on magazines, they were all over the net, they even had a shortlived Youtube show called Titts Uncensored. She was completely prepared to fawn all over their cuteness when she arrived, but imagine her surprise when there was no cuteness to fawn over. The two of them barely spoke. They didn't seem to interact unless it was work related. In fact, Brittany went out of her way to spend time with Santana. And Santana didn't mind that one bit.
She minded even less when she ran into Britt and the blonde was doing that nervous biting her lip thing that drove Santana absolutely crazy.
"Hi there, I haven't seen you in a while," Santana said to her.
"Who? Me? Yeah. No."
"Yeah, you," Santana reached and scratched her nails over Brittany's arm quickly. "Been looking for you."
"I've been around."
Brittany nodded with conviction, "Oh yeah, I'm fine.
"Good, because I..."
"Well, I, uh..."
When Brittany's eyes drifted just to the left of Santana, she turned her head to follow them. What she found was Rachel Berry, and the thing that Rachel seemed to be doing was winking at her. She wasn't entirely sure, though. Rachel's mouth was hanging open and she was actually closing both eyes.
"Rachel?" Brittany sounded concerned. "Are you okay? Did you miss a protein shake?"
"No," Rachel dropped the pretense of whatever she was doing. Or so she thought. "Hi Santana," she said in an octave lower that she would normally would sound.
"I wanted to tell you that I saw you..."
"Checking me out," Rachel said. She turned completely away from Brittany and winked another horrible wink at her. She mouthed, 'Play along,' before saying, "You're obviously not straight."
Santana was mortified. Finn and Rachel were the two biggest idiots in the entire world.
Brittany sort of leaned around Rachel. Santana could tell she wanted to hear more, but instead she said, "Rach...uh, that's sort of an awkward thing to say to someone."
"Oh, I know. Remember my dads are both gay."
"Yeah..." Brittany sort of let that hang there. She seemed to be caught between wanting to hear Santana's explanation and wanting to tell Rachel to back off.
"I'm not!" Santana suddenly blurted. "I'm not straight. I'm not."
"She's not," Rachel said and clapped her hands together. "I've got to...do...something...over there," Rachel pointed to a bush that was in front of them first and then redirected her finger to where Santana could just make out the faint outline of a shadowy Hulk sized man. Finn.
"So...Rachel?" Brittany asked when she had disappeared.
"Rachel's really nice," Brittany said. "She's very...verbose and can project her voice across two football fields."
"Really?" Santana was impressed.
"Oh, I really have no idea," Brittany said. "That's how she describes herself at all those fan conventions."
"I think she likes Rachel," Brittany whispered her good pal Quinn between takes. "Or Mike. Or both. I'm pretty confused about the whole thing now. She never even mentioned liking Mike or Rachel. I totally get Mike. Who wouldn't like Mike? But Rachel?"
"There's no way she likes Rachel," Quinn said. "Only Finn likes Rachel and that's only half the time."
"I don't know, Quinn," Brittany gestured over to where Rachel was looking bored across the large auditorium where they shot classroom scenes. "She's really pretty. Super talented. It's unfortunate she never gets any lines."
"Well, they have to cater to the stahhr!" Quinn said and then made a barfing sound. "I'm so glad you two broke up. Now I can talk about her."
"You did before we broke up."
"No, I didn't."
"Yes, you did."
"Well, it was wasn't bad."
"You called her a spoiled egotistical bitch dragon who wouldn't know pitch if it held her at gunpoint."
"And that was much nicer than what I wanted to say," Quinn explained. "If you weren't one of the pair of Titts, I swear."
"Can we not talk about Titts? I'm sure later on I'll be able to look fondly on it, but not...let's just keep Titts off the table, okay?"
"Sure, fine." Quinn shrugged. "But, Titts is in all the magazines and all over the internet. I couldn't even read the news without Titts bouncing up in one of those pop-up ads."
"She's not straight," Brittany said quietly.
"No fucking shit, she's not straight," Quinn responded. "I'm pretty sure she's already had some chicks in her trailer. I can't be 100% on this, but I think Emma Pillsbury was sneaking out when I passed earlier."
"Santana," Brittany said simply.
"Oh! Oh, oh, okay. Well, good news for you," Quinn gave her a pat on the shoulder.
"That's what I'm trying to say," Brittany waved her hand in front of her friend's face. "She's not straight and her and Rachel had this 'thing' earlier."
"What kind of 'thing?' A flirtation 'thing?'"
"Looked a little like it..."
"Rachel's with Finn."
"They're so off and on, does anybody really know if Rachel and Finn are together or not?"
"Here's an idea," Quinn said as she twisted around in her seat. "Why don't you talk to her about it?"
"And say what?"
"Invite her for drinks? Ask her to catch a movie? Damn, Britt, tell her you need help cleaning your fish tank. Anything!
"Tina is keeping the fish."
"I was kidding!"
"Well, don't! It's kind of a sore subject right now."
"With the breakup, and the fish, and Sant-"
"Ssshh," Quinn waved her hand quickly. "Hey! It's Santana. Hi Santana."
Brittany looked over her shoulder to find Santana standing there awkwardly. "Did I interrupt something?"
"No!" Brittany said immediately. "No, not at all."
"Brittany and I were talking about the demise of Titts," Quinn confessed.
"Oh," Santana cut her eyes over to Brittany, who was busy kicking the crap out of Quinn's shin.
"Ffffuu-" Quinn flinched.
Brittany smiled at Santana as brightly as she could to draw the attention away, "Well, you know what they say, can't keep good Titts down!"
"No, I guess not," Santana joined in. "So, are you...regretting it or something?"
"No!" Brittany blurted. "No. It's just going to be a...readjustment, I guess."
"Yeah," Santana nodded.
"Yeah." Brittany parroted the action.
"Yeeee-aahhh," Quinn said because she was steeped in awkward sexual tension that nobody wanted to mention and because her shin her like a mofo.
"She's so hot," Santana muttered absentmindedly as she watched Brittany slap Schue across the face for the sixth time.
The scene called for it. Schuester was a decent guy, but his character was a college professor who was always cruising on his young students, so Brittany was slapping him. And Britt seemed to be working out some kind of aggression, because each slap was getting more and more realistic. When she landed the last one, even Santana flinched a little from behind the cameras.
"Damn, I bet he feels that one for a while," Artie commented.
"Amazingly hot," Santana said as she tilted her head in wonder.
"Try not to drool," Artie nudged her.
Santana smirked. "She's just so fucking hot, Art."
"You've been telling me this for months. You should start telling her."
"No, but I happen to know that Titts have gone their separate ways. So, now, you can."
"Oh no, you don't," the man said.
"You're going to chicken out!"
"No, I'm not!" Santana denied. "I'm going to tell her. I want to."
"It hasn't been that long, Artie," Santana motioned over to the scene taking place. "Look at her, she's slapping on Schue like she still has some residual anger."
"Or she's a good actress and she's in the moment."
The sound of skin pelting skin shook the both of them before she got a chance to reply.
"Or she's got some residual anger," Artie agreed with a curt nod.
"I don't want to be some rebound thing for her," Santana told him as she crossed her arms. "I don't think I could take that."
"Brittany wouldn't do that, she'd be upfront with you."
Santana quirked her lips.
"I've known her a while," Artie said. "She's the best. She deserves a nice girl."
Santana smiled, "And you think I'm a nice girl?"
"You're nicer than Tina Cohen-Chang. That bitch has got me on Skittle duty tonight."
"Ugh! I don't know why you continue to cater to her every whim, Artie."
"Because she's Tina Cohen-Chang and I'd rather not be cohen-changed or chang banged or chang chonged."
"I have no idea what you just said."
"It's better that way," Artie told her. "They all involve some type of public humiliation. She chang chonged the last PA in charge of her Skittles and he was so devastated that he moved back to Nebraska."
"I'm not sure, but if it was worse than Nebraska, then I don't ever want to know."
The sound of a clapboard made Santana whip around to the actors performing, "You don't think..."
"What?" Artie asked and then cringed when he saw Schue's head to a little wobble from force of another Brittany blow.
"That Tina would...bong chong me, do you?"
"No," Artie said quickly. Too quickly, really. "No," he said again shaking his head furiously. "No, no. No way."
"God, I hate Titts!" Kurt said as he ripped the cover off of PERSON Magazine and then balled it up. He threw it on the floor then kicked it. He then walked over to the paper wad and stomped on it a few times. "And that's how I feel about Titts."
"Thank you, Kurt, for that spirited demonstration," Brittany told him as she watched his eyes narrow and he stomped on it a few more times.
"And not just in the way that I hate Durt."
"I know," Brittany said fighting a smile.
"Don't laugh!" Kurt got the corners of her mouth curling up. "Dave and I are not Durt!"
"No, you're not! You and Dave are the loveliest couple I know. Definitely not Durt."
"You're better than Tina and Titts, so much better," Kurt said as he dropped into the seat next to her.
"That's why we're no longer together." Brittany pushed her hair out of her eyes. "There was sort of this unspoken agreement that we'd continue with the sham our relationship had become. She'd still seem like Awesome Lesbian Tina Cohen-Chang who's attached and committed and I'd get to appear in a few pictures along the way. But...I just can't."
"That's a sucky foundation for a relationship, Britt."
"You know it wasn't always like that," Brittany said. "At first, we genuinely liked each other."
"I'd genuinely like to be as far away from Terrible Tina as possible."
Kurt laughed, "That's the first time I've heard you call her that."
"Yeah, well, for the last couple of weeks, I've been eating the purple Skittles before she could get to them."
"Yeah," Brittany sighed. "I really have been, though. You know Santana?"
"Lopez? Yeah, we had a scene together a couple weeks ago."
"I've had a lot of scenes with her," Brittany explained. "She's the other girl in that ridiculous love triangle with Evans. Because, apparently, it's the only drama this show knows how to create."
"Anyway, I've gotten to know her..."
"And?" Kurt's eyes were aglow with the promise of juicy gossip.
"I like her," Brittany admitted. "I like her a lot. Maybe more than I've ever liked anybody. Ever. Ever ever."
"That's a lot."
"Does she know?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Does she like you back?"
"I...don't know," Brittany frowned. "I don't think so. Mike asked her out today and she seemed interested. Then there was a weird thing with Rachel."
"Rachel? Rachel's with Finn."
"Yeah, she was at my apartment this morning. She has her own rice cake cabinet now and she was wearing a shirt that was at least eight sizes too big for her. Plus, I heard Finn groaning like a beached whale when I got up to use the bathroom last night. They're definitely on right now."
"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure Mike was papped at Disneyland with Taylor Swift last weekend."
"Oh," Brittany chuckled. "Didn't see that coming."
"I told him that I hope his song is catchy."
"Well, it's going to be a doozy if he's dating Santana, too."
Santana glanced at the clock on the wall. It was nearly midnight and there didn't seem to be an end in sight. The long nights were always so draining. They just needed her in the background for this shot anyway. Why the hell couldn't they find a passable stand-in?
That's when she saw the magazine lying discarded on another desk top. The headline read: Letting Go of TITTS: Gloom's Powercouple Doomed! She leaned over and snagged the mag. The cover showed a picture of Tina and Brittany posing happily from an award show a year or so back. 'Tina Cohen-Chang and girlfriend, Brittany Pierce, in much happier times' the caption said.
She flipped through the pages until she found the article. More pictures of the two of them, great. There was one of Tina and Brittany walking on the street. Brittany had a pair of shades on, her blonde hair loose and blowing in the wind. A white tee covered her torso, while she rocked a pair of jeans that looked like they were made to fit her ass. The woman was beautiful in anything, that was for sure. Another award show picture, with Brittany dressed to kill in a simple black dress standing behind Tina who was talking with a reporter, was directly under that one.
Santana must have gotten really caught up in staring because she saw a shadow over the magazine appear before she heard anything.
It was Brittany.
Santana closed the magazine and dropped it on the desk, "No! I mean, yes. I was reading."
"Its cool, you can ask me about it if you want," Brittany said as she picked it up and examined the cover. She slid into the seat beside her. "I'll be glad when the next celebrity couple breaks up so I won't be considered a TITT anymore."
"I can imagine." Santana studied the other woman, "So you're really okay?"
"Yeah," Brittany smiled easily. "It wasn't the magical love story the media made it out to be."
"I could tell."
"Of course, you could." Brittany bit her lip and tried not to stare. She waved the magazine, "So what did you find out?"
"Uh, not much."
"Really? I figured there would be all kind of interesting tidbits in here."
"Well, I wasn't really reading," Santana said. "I was mostly looking at the pictures."
"Oh, did I look weird? It seems the best pictures of Tina always had me with my mouth open or my eyes crossed or like I just smelled something rank or like my lip had been caught in a fish hook or-"
"You look beautiful," Santana cut her off. "You looked...great in the pictures."
Brittany's eyes shot up to meet hers. "Well...that's a relief...thanks."
"Thanks...again," Brittany laughed. "I already said that...sorry."
"You're welcome...again," Santana responded. She glanced at the clock again, "What are you still doing here anyway?"
"Oh..." Brittany shrugged. "Just...stuff. Lines..."
Santana wasn't convinced, "Here? Go home, you've been here all day."
"I am," Brittany hooked her thumb over her shoulder. "I'm on my way out. I just...wanted to say goodnight."
Santana leaned into her, bumping their shoulders, "Goodnight Britt."
The blonde half-heartedly bobbed her head, "Yeah..." She stood up and nearly took a step, but instead she sat back down. "And I like you. That's the other thing."
"The other thing?"
"I was going to say, 'I wanted to say a couple things,' but instead I just said 'goodnight.' But, 'I like you' is the other thing that I didn't say I wanted to say."
"I like you," Santana said.
"Yeah, that's what I wanted to say."
"No, I'm sorry, I like you, too," Santana clarified.
"Really?" Brittany asked as she turned her whole body towards Santana. "Because I've liked you for a really long time. And I probably shouldn't say this, but I really really like you."
"I've really liked you for a long time, too." Santana took a deep breath, "But I don't want to be a rebound sort of thing."
"I hate football, I only pretend to like it for those little sausages at Superbowl parties," Brittany told her seriously. "So, you wouldn't be a rebound sort of thing."
"That wasn't so bad," Brittany said as she gave her a shy glance. "I may have had this epic revelation built up in my head."
"I think that only happens on television."
"I think you're right."
"So...what do we do now?"
"Let me take you for coffee," Brittany looked at the clock. "Well, maybe not coffee. Drinks? Except we're both working tomorrow. Drinks on Friday? Are you free?"
"I can get free," Santana said.
Three months later, as Brittany and Santana were passing a magazine rack, Santana tugged on Britt's arm.
"Holy shit, look at that," the brunette pointed. She stopped to read the latest headline, "Gloom's Boom! Couple: Brittana! Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez are a hit both on and off-screen." She beamed at her girlfriend, "We're a hit, baby!"
Brittany laughed. "Brittana, huh? It's definitely better than TITTS."
A/N: Thanks for throwing that initial idea out there, Alex! S&G.