This was something I wrote on my fanfiction account on Tumblr and I completely forgot to bring it here! This is just another one of my personal indulgences with bespectacled buck-toothed losers~

I do not own Homestuck.

At Your Service

"They said our waiter would see us in a minute," Dave scoffed. "Fuckin' tick-tock, I'm hungry here."

John smiled with amusement at his best friend as he watched Jade playfully swat his arm. Dave was always the ornery one, especially when he got hungry.

"I really don't think the hostess meant that literally," Jade chuckled at her boyfriend. The blond just huffed at that.

"Well don't say shit you don't mean then," Dave shrugged listlessly.

"Dave, please," Rose, who sat across the table from Dave and to John's left, shook her head as she skimmed the menu in front of her. John couldn't help but laugh at his friends as he opened his own menu to look over the selections. It was John's turn to choose where they all went out to eat; he ended up choosing Chili's.

"Whaddya want for dessert, Egbert?" Dave smirked through his pitch black aviators. What's the most expensive thing they have?"

John cocked an eyebrow at him. "I haven't even looked at the appetizers yet! And I never have room for dessert when I eat out to places," he added with a bit of a whine.

"But dude," the blond started, staring at the brunet incredulously. "What if I buy it for you? You'd have to eat it!"

"Ask them to use Betty Crocker mix," Jade giggled as she looked over the burger section in her menu. John just glared her down, grabbing the edges of the table, and shook it with a frustrated grunt.

"Sorry to keep you all waiting, ladies and fellas!" An enthusiastic male voice quipped up. John looked up, his hands still firmly gripping the table, and saw a man in the restaurant's uniform standing at the table's end before them.

His medium-length black hair parted to the side and hung just above the rim of his square-framed glasses. He filled out his black tee rather nicely: he wasn't necessarily buff, but he had a pair of nicely defined arms and the clothing's fabric conformed to his toned chest and stomach. It was only no more than a second, though, before John caught himself staring at him much more than he intended to.

"You okay there, buddy?" The man chuckled at him as he noticed John's grip on the table's edges. John quickly let go and folded his hands in his lap, clearing his throat and nodding silently.

"Alrighty, just making sure," he laughed again. He took four coasters out of his apron and laid them out in front of each of them. "Can I get you all started with a few drinks?"

"Mm, I think we'll all be fine with water," Jade answered as she looked at John and Rose, both of whom nodded in reply. John, in particular, would just steal a quick glance at the young man every now and then while his attention was turned away from him.

"You got it," the waiter nodded with a smile.

"Actually dude," Dave quickly cut in and leaned forward, "you got some apple juice or something?" The waiter just laughed at him and grinned a bit lopsidedly. John took note of that; wow, he needed to quit being so attractive.

"We do," he replied. "I'll get that for you as well. Would you all like an appetizer or anything to tide you over right quick?"

Dave looked back down at the menu to skim over the options. "Mmm… John, you chose."

The brunet glanced at him for a second, then back to the waiter. He was smiling down at him with a patient expression, and John suddenly felt compelled to look away. "Ah, I dunno… Chips and salsa, I guess?"

"No dude, that's boring," Dave shot him down, to which the waiter just laughed, shaking his head slightly. "Can we get an order of these beef nachos?"

"Right-o," the waiter nodded. "I'll get those drinks and your nachos started for you and take as much time as you like with the menus. And by the way, the name's Jake, so if you all need anything you just call out for me and I'll swing by for you!"

"Thank you," Jade and Rose replied in unison. As he left, Jake gave the four of them two thumbs up and walked away in the direction of the kitchen.

As soon as he was gone, Jade snickered and leaned forward to John, her chest pressing against the table. "Someone has a crush on a certain waiter."

John's head snapped up at that, his cheeks turning a slight pink as his three friends just chuckled at his reaction. "No I don't!"

"Fuckin' liar," Dave laughed teasingly as he rested his arm behind Jade's neck.

"He's pretty good looking," Rose shrugged with a slight smile. John turned to the short blonde-haired girl and narrowed his eyes at her, and she just shrugged again with a playful turn of her nose in the air.

"Should go for him, dude," Dave smirked. John felt that he was rather lucky to have as close of a guy friend as Dave, and even moreso when Dave was as accepting of his homosexuality as he was when he came out to all of them. John could do without him always insisting on being his wingman whenever they went out, though.

"Yeah!" Jade laughed. "Then you and him can triple date with Dave and me and Rose and Kanaya!"

John turned to the blonde next to him again. "How is she, by the way?"

"Hm," Rose shrugged with a coy smile. "She's there."

John just laughed at her. Rose never was the type to really talk about her relationships, even though John, Jade and Dave liked Kanaya and insisted Rose bring her along to hang out with them.

Dave smirked at the blonde across from him before turning to John. "Should chop it up with him when he comes back."

"No!" John cried. "What if he's not gay? And besides, he looks like he's in college or something!"

Dave nodded with a hum of approval. "That's hot."

Jade swatted his chest with a laugh and John just rolled his eyes. At that moment, from his periphery John saw someone headed towards their booth. Sure enough, it was Jake. He was balancing two serving platters, each in one hand: one with their drinks, and another with Dave's nachos and a stack of plates and silverware. The older brunet took notice of John's eyes on him, and he just winked at him with a lopsided, toothy grin. John just managed to smile back ever so slightly before looking down to his lap and rubbing his suddenly warm cheeks.

Wow, he needed to stop being so attractive.

"Alrighty!" Jake announced as he came back with their meal orders on a large serving platter.

"Hell yeah!" Dave clapped his hands together as Jake stood before them. He and the other three couldn't help but laugh at the blond, though John was more preoccupied with staring at the waiter's bicep muscle flex under the weight of all the food.

"We got a chipotle salmon for the miss here," Jake said as he took the plate off the platter with his free hand and placed it gently in front of Rose.

"Thank you," Rose nodded with a smile.

"No prob! And we got a southern smokehouse bacon burger for the cool kid in the shades over there," Jake added, placing the burger platter in front of Dave.

"Hell yeah you do!" Dave nodded enthusiastically as he hungrily eyed the food in front of him. Everyone just laughed again at his reaction. "Thanks, dude."

"Anything," Jake chuckled. "The Monterey chicken for the sheila here," he continued as he gave Jade her order. She thanked him, and he grinned lopsidedly at her. "And finally for the good gentleman right here we have his steak fajita."

He took out a pot holder from his apron pocket and used it to take hold of the black stoneware that sizzled with the steaming steak on top.

"Careful here buddy," Jake cautioned John. "This one's really hot."

"I will," John lifted his hands to accept the platter, but hesitated for a second as he tried to figure out a way to take it from Jake's hand without burning himself.

Jake furrowed his brow for a second as he mulled over the same problem, not wanting the teen to hurt himself. "Wait-wait-wait. Here, just let me put this down on the table for you so you don't—"


Dave and Jade's head shot up from their meals and saw John gripping his hand in pain, biting down on his lower lip with his prominent buck teeth.

Jake's eyes widened in fear and shock when he saw the bottom of John's right thumb near his wrist brush against the sizzling stoneware. "Oh God! I'm so sorry about that!"

John just shook his head vigorously at his apology, covering his small burn with his other hand. He looked straight down at his lap, trying to make sure his unruly hair covered his eyes as he squeezed them shut. Wow, great going there John! You hurt and embarrassed yourself in front of him! Now he thinks you're a loser!

"Here," Rose picked John's class of water up and handed it to him. "Hold it against the side of your cup."

The brunet looked up at her for a second before doing as she told him, tentatively pressing his burned skin—which was already starting to bubble slightly—against the cold condensation against the glass. The sensation elicited a soft seething through his lips.

"I-I-I'm so sorry," Jake stammered as he scrambled to put the stoneware plate on the table. "I-I don't know what to say—"

"It's fine!" John whirled around to him, a sheepish grin on his face. And there was Jake looking down at him with the most adorable hazel eyes. Oh no, now he's sad! Look what you did!

"I-I—We have a first aid kit in the back, so I can apply some ointment and a bandage for you—"

"No, I'm good!" John blurted out stupidly, chuckling nervously as he did so. Jade and Dave just glanced at each other with a bit of amusement. John always had a terrible habit of not being able to say no to people. Except for when someone offered him any form of help. "It's nothing, really!"

"John, just go," Jade laughed. "We'll wait for you to come back to start eating."

He looked at the couple across from him, then to Rose to his left. The blonde just nodded with a bit of a smirk and motioned with her hand for him to go ahead. John paused for a second before finally relenting.

"…Fine," John uttered with quite a bit of shame. Jake just smiled lopsidedly—damn this boy—and stepped aside so John could scoot out of the booth. The taller brunet motioned for John to follow him, and he did so hesitantly. As he walked off, he glanced back to his friends, who were all smirking and giggling knowingly.

As soon as John was gone, Dave turned back to his meal and picked his knife up to start cutting into his burger. As soon as he felt the girls' judging eyes on him, though, he paused and looked back up.

"…Well you said you'd wait for him and I ain't waitin' for Egbert to finish bonin' four eyes back there," Dave shrugged at Jade, who just scoffed and rolled her eyes, burying her cheek in her hand.

John sat at the table in the employees' break room as he watched Jake rummage through a few cupboards, his back turned to him. Every so often he'd have to force himself to stop staring, but it was so hard to not, what with Jake's back muscles visibly flexing through his shirt.

"…Sorry again for the inconvenience," John started with embarrassment.

"Not at all!" Jake's head snapped around at that, his arms pausing from pushing boxes aside. His brow was furrowed, as if to ask 'How could you say that to me!?' "It was my fault, chap. You just sit pretty over there and I'll take care of you!"

John just smiled slightly at his expression and looked back at his hand. It really wasn't much to be frantic over, though; the burn mark wasn't even all that big…

"Gotcha!" Jake exclaimed. He pulled out a white metal box with a red Greek cross on the side. He held to his chest's level and unbuckled the latches, peeking inside as if something threatening was about to jump out and attacked him. Soon enough, he grinned and turned back to John. "Got the ointment!"

God, was his enthusiasm adorable or what?

He walked over to John and opened the cover of the first-aid kit all the way. He knelt down in front of John so he was on his tip toes. "Does it still hurt, John?"

John immediately tried to fight down a blush at the question. Now if there were anything that could have been taken out of context…

"…I-it's all right," John shrugged. Jake gently took his right hand in his and turned it over so he could look at the burn mark. Wow, his hand was soft…

"I just wanna be safe is all, you know?" Jake smiled up at him, and John just swallowed at bit, Oh God, Dave turning everything into an innuendo was rubbing far too much off on him.

He took out the tube of ointment and a cotton swab from the box. Swabbing some of the white liquid onto one of the swab's tips, he gingerly applied the cool substance onto John's burn.

"Am I hurting you?" Jake asked him almost right after he heard John seethe again. John just shook his head slightly as he made eye contact with him through both of their thick-rimmed glasses.

"N-no, it's fine," John replied nervously.

"…You in school, John?" Jake asked him, clearly trying to strike up a conversation.

"Y-yeah," John replied. "Maple Valley High. We're all seniors there."

"Ah," Jake nodded.

"Haha… Mm, yeah," John smiled a bit, but mentally kicked himself right after for sounding so awkward right then. Soon enough, they fell into a short awkward silence, one that John would try to break every now and then with a clearing of his throat.

"…A thousand apologies if it's too much of a personal question," Jake started as he swiped a little more ointment out of the tube. "But is the blonde miss with you your girlfriend, by any chance?"

"W-who, Rose?" John looked back to Jake. "Oh no, haha. She's just a friend. She… She, uh, has a girlfriend."

"Ohh…" He nodded slowly. "No judgment, that's perfectly dandy." He added with a smile. "…I'm actually right there with her, ahaha."

John raised his eyebrow slightly at him. "…You mean… Gay? Or you have a girlfriend too? Or—"

"Oh no!" Jake laughed as he capped the ointment tube. "It's the gay. I-I mean, the first one, haha."

John, as much as he tried to hide it, started blushing at that. He looked away for a second as Jake reached for a bandage. He's gay! But oh no, he's in college! He can't be in high school still! He looks way too old to be our age!

After taking the wrapper off, he softly laid it over his burn and traced his middle finger around the adhesive so that the bandage would stick to John's skin. "Aaand… there we go! All patched up!"

John watched up stand up straight and close the first-aid kit, preparing to put it back in the cabinet. "Thank you again."

"Right-o," Jake turned back to him and grinned, winking one eye as well. "Just let me put this back and I'll walk you back to your table. Gotta check up on your friends to see if they need anything else too, haha."

"So he's gay, huh?" Jade giggled as she handed Rose her share of the bill.

"I mean he told you himself," Dave said he watched Rose look over the receipt. "That was practically an invitation to chop it up."

John just scoffed at the two of them. "That's not what it means at all."

"Wait," Rose paused, his eyes still on the menu. "…John, what did you order?"

"The fajita."

The blonde ran through the receipt again a few times. "…Huh. He forgot to charge that."

"Well don't tell him that," Dave shrugged. Jade just playfully slapped him on the arm.

"We can't do that!" Jade scolded him. She poked her head down the aisle, and found Jake tending to a table across the room. When Jake turned around to start walking away, Jade waved her hand in the air to get his attention. Almost instantly Jake noticed, and his face lit up and jogged back to their table.

"What can I do for you here?" Jake smiled at her.

"Um, you forgot to add his order to the bill," Jade replied sweetly, pointing to John.

Jake followed the direction of her finger to John, and the shorter brunet just smiled slightly.

"Oh!" Jake nodded. "The good man's order is on me tonight."

John's eyes widened at that. "W-w-wha—It's okay, you don't have to—"

"I insist!" Jake laughed, patting him on the shoulder. "It's the least I can do for burning you earlier."

"B-but I—"

"Well that's that," Dave clapped his hands. He took the bill booklet from Rose and handed it to Jake. "Here you are, good man."

Jake chuckled and winked back at him, saluting him playfully. "Good show!"

"Oh yeah!" Dave snapped before Jake started to leave. "Can you just charge my order on the card inside?"

"Of course," Jake smiled before walking away to one of the registers.

"Takes you to the back room and gives you a free meal!?" Jade exclaimed with her mouth open. "Someone definitely has a crush on John here."

"Just give him your number," Rose chuckled. "Write it on the receipt or something."

"No!" John shook his head, his cheeks a hot pink. "No more talking about it!"

Rose and Jade just raised their eyebrows a bit in response while Dave held his hands up defensively as Jake came back with the booklet.

"And we're all set here!" Jake exclaimed as he handed the bill back to Dave so he could retrieve his credit card. The four teens all thanked him in unison as he walked away to tend to another table.

"How much for the tip?" Rose asked Dave as he pocketed his card and picked up her take-out box of leftovers.

"Ah… You know what, I'll cover the tip tonight, guys." Dave said to them as he took the pen that was clipped to the booklet. He unhook his key ring that hung off his belt loop and handed it to Jade. "You guys can start up the car, I'll just take care of this a second."

"You sure?" John asked him. Dave just nodded with a thumbs up, smiling through his shades, before turning back to the check and adding up the tip total.

As Dave slid out of the booth by himself, Jake came back to collect the final bill and wipe off the table.

"Good night, chap!" Jake grinned with an exuberant nod. Dave just returned the smile with one of his signature cool-kid smirks of his own and patted Jake on the back.

"Thanks, dude." Dave said. "…And, uh, scope the bottom of the check before you stash it away."

Without another word, and before Jake could say anything else, Dave walked towards the restaurant's exit, hands stuffed in his pockets. Jake stared after him until he was out of sight, one of his thick eyebrows cocked slightly in confusion. As he took out the rag that dangled out of his back pocket, he eyed the bill booklet and opened it curiously. The bottom of the check?

Under Dave's sloppy signature was a message scribbled out. As he read it, Jake's eyes opened a bit, before his lips curled into a wide, toothy grin.

"Thanks for the ride, Dave!" John called out as he got out of the back left passenger seat.

"No prob, dude," Dave said as Rose and Jade both called out good night to him. "Oh, by the way man."

John turned back around and walked over to Dave's window. "Yeah?"

"Did you get any messages or calls since we left the restaurant?" Dave asked nonchalantly.

John raised an eyebrow at him for a second before digging into his pocket for his phone. "Mm, I don't think so—"


Right then, John's phone started vibrating in his hand, and a number he didn't recognize appeared on screen. Whose number was that?"

"Wait," John said to Dave before swiping his thumb across the screen to answer the call. "…Hello?"

"Hello, is this John?"

J-Jake!? H-how did he get my—

"Just give him your number," Rose chuckled. "Write it on the receipt or something."

"Ah… You know what, I'll cover the tip tonight, guys." Dave said to them as he took the pen that was clipped to the booklet.

John whirled around to glare Dave down, his brow furrowed and his angry gaze obstructed by the reflection of the car's headlights.

Dave just cackled loudly, joined by Jade next to him in the front seat and Rose in the back.


"G'night!" Dave called out as he rolled up the window and speedily backed out of John's driveway and raced down the quiet street.

"Hello? …John?"

John panicked as he looked at his phone in his hand. Dave had written John's number on the receipt! What else did he write! W-wait, answer him, stupid! You can't just keep him waiting on the other line!"


"John? It's Jake, your waiter at Chili's earlier."

John slowly walked up the driveway and towards his front door. "Y-yeah, I remember. I… I—um, how are you?"

"I'm good," Jake replied with a bit of a chuckle. "I actually got off my shift a few minutes ago, and I'm free for the rest of the evening."

"O-oh?" John's voice cracked slightly. Oh wow, real smooth. "That so?"

"Yeah, haha. And I was, um, wondering if you would be open to… maybe… Maybe spending a little time together tonight? We could… Do you like coffee? I-is coffee something you like? D-do high schoolers like coffee? I-it's—it's been a few years since I graduated… I-I mean we don't have to if you don't want to. I—I-wow, maybe I shouldn't have called—"

God, it must be illegal for someone to be so adorable.

"No!" John laughed nervously. "N-no, it's fine. I like coffee. I… I would like to get some with you."

"Really!? Oh, golly wow! G-great!" He could hear Jake chuckle stupidly, and John had to fight down the goofiest grin as he sat down on the bench next to his door. "Your pal wrote your address here on your receipt with your number… Would it be okay to swing by now and pick you up?"

John just shook his head with a knowing chuckle. "That's fine."

"Fantastic!" Jake exclaimed, his voice audibly cracking. "I'll be over in a bit then!"

Without another word, Jake hung up, and John was left speechless. He couldn't help but laugh aloud, grinning stupidly at himself and at how absolutely cute Jake sounded on the phone. He sounded so full of confidence when he was serving them—


John's phone vibrated, and it was Jake's number calling again. He answered it slowly and held it to his hear.


"Oh wow, I'm rude I didn't even say bye before I hung up! I'm really sorry!"

"No, no!" John grinned. "It's okay!"

"Oh, that's good!" Jake sighed. "O-okay, I'm headed over now! I'll see you in a bit!"

And with that, the line went dead, and John just continued to laugh, trying in vain to rub the deep blush away from his cheeks.

I'd like to take this opportunity to say I HAVEN'T DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH! I apologize dearly if it seems like I've done so because I have two stories that I haven't updated in forever and I know my readers are getting more than very cross with me to say the least as to me not being timely with getting chapters out. The new chapters for The Gossip Stone and Hitmanstuck will be up soon, I swear! D:

That aside, I hope you enjoyed reading! Any constructive comments and such are more than welcome.

Enjoy Life and Smile.