"So... are we gonna talk about it?" Was all Sam managed to finally drawl out, his gaze fixed conveniently at the empty pastures rolling by outside of his widow.

Dean didn't answer, he just shifted slightly in his seat and felt his foot pushing the gas petal down harder. It had been nearly three whole weeks since Cas had left them at that motel. Dean didn't talk about how the angel had kissed him - even though it had felt more like a punch to the lips than anything - and had then left in a confused haze of heavenly angst and rejection. Likewise, Sam didn't ask what had happened after he'd left the motel.

The first few days had rolled out smoothly, they'd finished their case and hit the road. That had led to another small job, arguing about to handle the end of the world, and leaving the elephant in the room otherwise unmentioned.


Sam was looking at him now, Dean didn't have to look over to feel the weight of his brother's eyes on him.

"I don't know, Sam. There's nothing to talk about." He hit the steering wheel as he spoke, feeling more frustrated and uncomfortable than he ever had. Hell, he even felt a little bit guilty, if he was being honest with himself.

"Come on Dean, what aren't you telling me?" Sam pushed, "We're in this together, right? And this isn't exactly the best time to be having a lover's quarrel with Ca-"

"You know what, Sam, I have to work this one out on my own. It's not like I'm guzzling demon juice behind my brother's back." He'd gone below the belt, and there was no taking it back. Dean felt regret tearing at his throat the moment he spat the words out, but it was effective enough. With a look of hurt and anger Sam recoiled back in his seat. For a moment Dean thought he'd lash out with a comeback, but he only turned to go back to staring out his passenger side window.

It was going to be a long drive.


It was an alcoholic fog and Dean could only remember bits and pieces through it, but at some point Dean had stood up, dragging Cas along by his neck tie. They had stumbled drunkenly around the room until the back of Dean's knees met the edge of the bed, where they collapsed in a tangle of limbs and drunken laughs.

Dean could hardly breathe; not as Cas fell on top of him, showering his face with poorly aimed kisses, but he was hardly complaining as he pressed into them.

His lungs burned for want of air as he met Castiel's kisses with his own, but he didn't mind the pain, it only made gasping for air that much sweeter when he rolled the angel over, taking over on the top.

Dean had had his fair share of girls ride him in his day, and while he was too drunk to consciously pull tips from those memories, he let subconscious intuition guide him. He never broke eye contact with the angel as he brought his hands to rest on either side of Cas' head, so he could balance himself as he bent down to bite the angel's neck.

It wasn't hard enough to break skin, but it was enough to get an intoxicated whine out of Castiel, who was now panting out Dean's name and arching into the blunt pain.

Judging by how well Castiel had done at the whore house Dean had taken him to - which was to say, not very well at all - Dean began to take matters into his own hands. And quite literally too, as he expertly reached between them and began undoing the belt around Castiel's hips with one hand.

"N-no!" Cas gasped, to Dean's surprise, as he squirmed under Dean's weight.

Awkwardly Dean rolled off of the angel, as quickly as his alcohol laden limbs would let him, "I'm sorry Cas... God I just got carried away and I didn't mean to do anything to you I'm so sorry I'm so-" Dean had begun to babble, feeling suddenly too drunk and too dizzy and too embarrassed. But soft kisses on his neck and collarbone shut him up, all he could do was look at Castiel in confusion.

"I want you to be happy, Dean." Cas whispered against his skin, "This is what... you do, isn't it?" He was clumsily undoing Dean's jeans, but with his flushed skin and messy hair and raggedy clothes Dean had never seen the angel look better.

"I've seen it done before... humans I mean, making 'love'." His voice was hushed, and Dean found that he still didn't have any words as Castiel began to run a tentative hand over the soft cotton of his boxers.

"Dean..." Cas was barely even breathing, "Is this love?"

Dean lazily smiled from where he lay, sprawled across the covers. Castiel was looking at him with such sincerity, with eyes so dialated they looked black; Dean wanted to kiss him and tell him that it was, just like he did with all those girls. To whisper in his ear that it was true love and that he'd be there in the morning and that they were written in the stars. But instead his smile turned to a frown, and he felt himself shaking his head, "No, Cas, buddy." He slowly sat up, until he could wrap a hand around the back of Castiel's neck and draw him in for a slow kiss,

"This is sex."

And then he was rolling the angel back over, to finish what he'd started.



Author's Note; Sorry for how short this one is, guys! I actually had more in this chapter but it felt better to cut it off here and carry on the next part in a new chapter.

I spent a bit more time working out how I wanted this all to fit in, and I think it's just before S5x2, in terms of the canon timeline. I'll have Chapter 3 up soon, as it's almost 60% done already from originally being part of this chapter.