The Rebel drove very fast along the seemingly endless desert road. It was a long drive, and the Rebel started thinking to himself about his next step of total revenge:
Hmm, that escape was easier than I thought. Too easy in fact, I gotta keep my guard up from now on. You never know what dickish event life's gonna throw at you. This truck isn't that bad, but we'll need a faster and more subtle mode of transportation when we reach the city.
He decided that they first needed to go to the nearest Telephone booth and call some of Wario's friend's, though how they were going to pay it when they were broke was a mystery. Luckily however Wario, while looking through the truck had found Chain Chomp Grappling Hooks. These were no ordinary ones either, you see the Chain Chomp could hold on to anything and with a couple of adjusting, could pull anything it latched onto. Truly some fine things were found in 1973. As Wario fiddled with the Chain Chomps to see if both worked, the Rebel was busy flooring the gas pedal as the city was soon coming into view.
The Rebel started to slow down when he saw a phone booth about 4 miles from the city. He stopped the truck as Wario got out of the car and approached the booth. During the night, the booth's blue/white colour made it nice. The red and green neon "PHONE BOOTH" sign was also easy to the eyes. Beside the telephone was a brown metallic box with the blue and red sign that said: "GET YOUR CHANGE HERE." Wario aimed his Chain Chomp at the box and watched as it latched onto the box. Then with a great pull, the box was ripped from the machine as millions of gold coins almost filled the floor.
Wario then grabbed some coins, and put them in the Telephone box. He grabbed the telephone and dialed the numbers, within seconds he got an answer.
"Hey Jimmy," Wario said, "yeah, who else? No, not this time, I'm out. You heard me, yeah, yeah, yeah, what part of yeah did you not understand? So how's the company, good, very good. What? Uh-huh, yeah I got it. How's she? You know who I mean, good, see you."
Wario then got in the truck with the coins as they drove off. As they got closer to the city, Wario was counting the coins, licking his snake like tongue against the coins, and cackling like a witch. The Rebel wanted to ask Wario to stop that as it creeped him out but decided against it, seeing how it's never a good idea to piss off a man who descended from a cobra. Pretty soon they made it in, the Rebel parked the truck and they both got out of it. The Rebel just gazed at the countless uses of red and orange neon everywhere while Wario went looking for a car.
After looking at an ugly fountain for hours, Rebel soon gazed at a typical riot going on around Python Pizza. It was over very quick however as the cops arrived and helped in their most signature style by shooting the hell out of everyone with their flamethrowers. Wario then appeared in a yellow Cadillac that looked like it swallowed 4 whole jars of steroids and opened the passenger door which let the Rebel get in. Inside there was a radio singing music that not even a stoner could make sense of as Wario drove very slowly, an oddity for the city folk there. The Rebel was getting a little nervous and feared they might get caught; however Wario just listened to the nonsensical beats and the occasional gibberish that counted as lyrics.
"So where to now?" Wario asked,
"We should get some new clothes." The Rebel said,
"I think we should go get a doughnut land doughnut first."
"Too bad, we're getting our stuff first."
Wario glared at the Rebel, warningly. He glared back as well which led to Wario chuckling as he stopped at "The Toad House" thrift store. It was pretty unorganized with loads of cardboard boxes containing junk no one wanted. Wario found the clothes section and started started going through it all. In the end he chose a nice yellow jacket with yellow pants; his shirt choice was a purple one complete with a purple lizard skin tie. He also picked a yellow hat. Not the manliest set of colours, but Wario made it look passable. The Rebel went for a more plain look with a brown shirt, blue pants, black shoes, and some glasses.
After paying for all this, the gentle men then changed into their outfits, sold the police outfits for a mere 50 coins each, and before they left Wario secretly caught a rat and ate it in one bite. While at the thrift store, they also bought things like tools, a couple of metal parts, plus some paper and pen. They were all ready when Wario asked to go to "Donut Land Doughnuts". The Rebel grunted as he reluctantly agreed. Fortunately, the doughnut shop was just around the corner so at least it wasn't a long trip. The shop itself was pretty crummy but did you honestly expect better from this place? After a good couple of minutes, the duo finished their quick snack and walked up the metallic stairway, leading them to their next destination.
Hmm, those doughnuts were pretty damn good. Then again, I've been eating mostly crap for many, many months so anything should taste amazing.
They headed into the Hammer Bros. Tattoo shop, a small franchise that specialized in permanent tattoos. The Rebel heard there was another one in the south part of the city called Sarasaland, but one of the original owners was still here. Wario hit the bell on the desk as the
Hammer Brother came out to greet what he thought were his new clients.
"How can I-" started the Hammer Brother until he saw who he was looking at.
"Hello Mac," The Rebel said, just grinning as Mac almost fell down in shock.
"Please," He said, "Call me Mr. Smith. Everyone did back at the asylum, even your brother."
"What's this gotta do with Mark?" Mac said,
"Nothing, I just mentioned...I need you Mac."
"Why, W...Mr. Smith"
"Because I'm making a revolution against Koopa and I need your knowledge."
"Don't bother lying to me Mac," The Rebel said, "I know you're still apart of the team, I'm not here for trouble. In fact when this whole thing's over with, I'm going to New York-"
"You mean the other realm."
"Whatever, anyway, of course I'd just go to the uh...'secret place', but the thing is, is that I'm not as stupid as the others thought I was. I mean if they think I'm just going to walk in there and yell, HEY LOOK AT ME, they are sorely, sorely, mistaken. Now, you must be asking why I need your help. Well its simple really, all I need to know are what the changes to the security are and how I can avoid them."
"Nothing's changed. There's been, no security additions, at least not what I know of-"
"Don't piss on my intelligence Mac you know how much I hate that."
"Oh yeah Mac sure, Koopa's done NOTHING to the security of the towers after I was taken away. You really expect me to believe that?! Come on, I've been fed crap for months; I don't need any more in my mouth! We ALL know Koopa's paranoid enough to up the security! I just need to know what new challenges I'm going to be facing."
"Why do you keep saying that Koopa-"
This made Mac flinch in surprise as the Rebel just sighed,
"I'm hoped it was't going to come to this Mac."
He looked at Wario who got out his flamethrower and clicked the trigger showing the flames flickering. Mac hesitated for a bit, sweat dropping down his head quickly, until he finally opened the door leading to his office.
"Alright, I'll explain in the back," Mac said.
Wario and the Rebel walked inside as Mac sneakily got out a hammer from behind a secret compartment. Without hesitation, he threw the hammer, quickly knocking them both down to the floor as he reached for his phone to call the police.
Wario, however had gotten up and fired his Chain Chomp at Mac, which managed pull him from the phone. Before Mac do anything, Wario then grabbed some gloves with spikes on the knuckles from a brown shelf, put them on, and repeatedly punched Mac in the face with his fist until it was a bloody mess. The Rebel grabbed one of the hammers, smashed Mac's face for good measure then and put it in his hand as they quickly left the scene. After they got in the car, Wario drove around mindlessly, successfully blending in, with the others, after a while he parked the car and they got out to get some fresh air, or as fresh as you can get here.
"What now?" Wario asked,
Just then an old lady with a charity box said, "Penny for the poor?"
The Rebel and Wario ignored her when she pulled a shock gun and yelled, "HEY SHITHEADS!"
Wario then got out his flamethrower and shot her. Then, he saw someone with a wrench looking at the car admirably. He shot that guy too pretty messily while making a sadistic grin of satisfaction. The Rebel however was getting nervous. Pretty soon they were gonna get caught killing people and then get arrested which would halt his plans of killing Koopa. And that, he would not stand!
"You know," The Rebel said cautiously, "We're going to have to stop constantly killing people unless we want the cops to find us."
"Yeah sure," Wario said sarcastically,
"I'm serious! We have to be more careful around here! The police could be watching!"
Wario just grunted and opened the car door before the Rebel grabbed his shoulder!
"Listen here ass clown! I just got out of the asylum, and if you think I'm going to let you screw me up the ass by putting me right back there you're heavily mistaken!"
"HEY!" Wario shouted, taking the Rebel's hand off his shoulder,
"One, Don't touch me again! And two, I'll do whatever I goddamn want Mr. Smith! Just because you're paranoid about getting sent back to that old place doesn't mean I have to be!"
After that, they both stopped and just stood there before the Rebel broke the ice.
"Look, we need to stop fighting and continue our plan!"
Wario thought for a second and finally gave up, "Alright, you win."
"Good, now we need a base to put all our stuff and camp out. Somewhere they'll never suspect."
"Somewhere they'll never expect huh?" Wario said with a slight grin, "Alright, ok I think I got someone who can help us."
He got in the car and started it up.
"Where to," The Rebel said getting in,
"My old warehouse that I ran in '67," Wario said, "That's where she'll be."