Dear Roronoa,

Hey. I chose your address as apart of this shitty penpal program I was told to do. I've never done something like this, so I don't know how this usually goes down. I was told to just write to you. I guess I introduce myself, they gave me a sheet of things to say as a starter.

My name's Sanji Black, and I'm 21 years old. I'm a cook, so I guess you can say I like cooking and food.

I already know your name, so how old are you? What do you do for a job, if you have one? Any kids? Any hit men out on your head? How many toes do you have.

I'm going to assume this is a sufficient letter, and say fuck it. Despite everything I wrote and how it may seem like I don't give a shit- I do hope you respond. It'd be nice to talk to someone.

Sanji Black

P.S What kind of Name is Roronoa Zoro? What nationality is that?


Dear Mr. Black,

I regret to inform you that you've selected the wrong address for your little program thing. I'm not the person anyone would want to hear from or write to. However, you did ask me a few questions and I would hate to think you'd go the rest of your life not knowing the answers, so I've written them down in this letter for you. Feel free to select a new person to write to after reading this.

I'm a 20 year old musician. Not a successful one. I'm the guy in the corner of your local shitty bar that's paid the same amount as a teenager in the fast food industry. I don't have any children (that I know of). I've pissed off quite a few people in my life, but I don't believe any of them would spend money on hiring someone to take me out..

I have ten toes.

That's cool that you're a chef. Did you go to a fancy school to learn what you know or did it come naturally? What's your favorite kind of food to make?

I hope you're able to find someone to talk to, though I'll admit I'm kind of curious as to why you selected my name.

Roronoa Zoro

PS: Roronoa is Spanish name.