Chapter 1

I know what is in your heart, what thrives there beneath the surface and I know that you cannot fall this hard alone. I wish you would have never allowed yourself to get involved with such a manipulative creature. Breathing in the airs of love and death at the same time, how can you live this way? There is never going to be a simple way of distancing your fervid desire for love from your perverse fascination with death. You cannot reconcile without becoming the one thing you were sworn to fight and I will not be there for the transition. I'm afraid that you need to make a choice and I want to say that I will be here for you if you need me, but I cannot. I'm sorry. Giles.

One Month Earlier

The cemetery was quiet tonight, which wasn't what Buffy wanted. She wanted to fight something right now, she didn't care what, in fact she wouldn't mind if the cemetery was flooded with demons and vampires from all over Sunnydale, she would kill every single one. Her hot blood was pumping through her veins with the adrenaline of a hundred athletes on steroids. It had been another long day and she was beginning to think that the rest of her days were going to be like this, which she didn't like the thought of.

She hadn't even had the chance to adjust to Sunnydale and her new life before Giles ruined her denial of being a normal high school girl. Now she was patrolling every night and even though it was almost Christmas she still hadn't met any friends or had the opportunity to go out and be normal. She had met a couple of people at school, but Giles wasn't sure if it was a good idea to involve anyone else in her life because of her dangerous calling. Willow was really smart and totally in love with her best friend Xander, both of them had tried to become Buffy's friends and had even tried to guess what was going on in her life. But Giles didn't approve whenever they would come around the library to see Buffy.

Buffy couldn't believe how awful her life was. She should be excited because she was helping a lot of people and she even had some kick ass power and strength, but nothing was making her happy. How could she be happy when every night she came home covered in vampire dust and had to rub the blood out of her clothes so her mom wouldn't ask about it? How could she be happy when the only person who knew her secret was withholding friends and even love from her? Giles was assigned a slayer when he was younger, and she died because he didn't know what he was doing, because he hadn't kept a close enough eye on her. Now Buffy wasn't allowed to do anything.

Sitting on top of a tomb stone, Buffy took her feet out of her strappy sandals to let her toes run over the cool grass. She always wondered how the grass could be so green and happy when it was growing over a dead person. Letting the clammy death grass caress her feet, Buffy felt like screaming. What was she doing? It was a Friday night and she was sitting alone in a graveyard with a stick in her hand waiting to kill something. How was there any hope for her? She wanted friends, she wanted to fall in love, and she wanted to be happy. But why wasn't saving the world good enough for her? She was sixteen and she already had an expiration date, Buffy still didn't know what to think about that.

While Buffy's inner dialogue was tearing away at the little hope she had left, she missed the sensitive hairs standing up on her neck. There was a vampire nearby and she should've noticed immediately, but for some reason she didn't. Buffy looked around the graveyard and decided that there wasn't going to be any action tonight. She stood up and slid her sandals back on and started to walk towards the exit of the cemetery.

Dressed all in black, he hid in the shadows watching her, the slayer. He wasn't afraid of her like other vampires were, no, not at all. He watched as she thought intensely within her mind and danced her toes on the grass, he needed to know what she was thinking, it was killing him. When she got up and started walking away he wanted to run to her and tell her everything that she would need to know for the coming days, but he knew he would only get a stake to the heart. He would wait.