Trying Not To Love You

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters they belong to Ryan Murphy and Fox.

Chapter One

Blaine slid the key into the lock of his apartment door and gently pushed it open. He took the bag off his shoulders and let it drop to the floor before he closed the door behind him. His face broke out into a smile when he heard the music blasting from the speakers in the room.

"Hey, I'm home," he shouted, hoping it was loud enough to be heard over the music and gain attention from his friend.

Suddenly his friend ran out of the living room and immediately jumped into his arms giving him a massive hug. He is winded by the force of impact but he returns the hug.

"Hey B you're home early tonight," she said, the words muffled against his chest.

He laughed softly at her muffled comment.

"I missed you too Mer," he said.

They slowly untangled themselves from each other, she pulled the scarf from his neck and began to fold it up. He watched her silently before turning and throwing his keys into the basket on the hallway table.

He looked across at her and absentmindedly runs a hand through his dark curls

"Please tell me you are not entertaining Michael tonight as I am beat and in need of some rest and relaxation with my best friend," he said smiling at her. She glared at him for a minute then shook her head and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the living room.

"I have told you a million times B. Me and Michael are history," she said turning to look back at her best friend. Immediately Blaine rolled his eyes and he watched as Meredith grabbed the remote for the stereo.

Blaine sunk into the sofa happily. His muscles ached from his dance class. He had nearly fallen asleep numerous times on the way home and in the end he had bought himself an espresso to wake himself back up. He heard Meredith skipping through the songs on the stereo on one of her made up CDs. Suddenly an all too familiar tune flooded the room and he groaned.

"What have I told you about playing Katy Perry songs? Especially this one as it is one of her worst. I hate her music Mer, you know that."

She giggled as she began to sing along with the track enjoying tormenting him. Blaine closed his eyes as unwanted memories came into his head.

"Come on B. No one can hate this track it's so perfect. I am going to convert you one day as no one can hate Katy Perry their whole life," she said passionately. Blaine rolled his eyes "You want to bet?" he replied bitterly.

He watched his best friend as she began to dance along to his once all time favourite song, Teenage Dream. If only you knew the truth, he thought silently. When they first met in the library after Blaine almost knocked Meredith over, they immediately connected and ended up spending a whole hour discussing music. When it was time for Meredith to leave, she carefully slipped him her number. Blaine had turned red and quickly mumbled that he was gay. Meredith had simply laughed.

"I know that Blaine, I could tell," she had said. She smiled at him and he immediately relaxed. "I just thought we could both use a friend," she said. He nodded and took the number.

After the second week, they had moved into together. Blaine was forced to tell Meredith all about his past after she had found his Kurt box, but he had never mentioned to her their relationship's special connection with Katy Perry. Instead when Meredith first played a Katy Perry song he had politely asked her to turn it off stating that he hated her music.

Suddenly the chorus kicked in which drew him out of his thoughts and back to the present. He looked over to see Meredith dancing happily away to the music, suddenly she turned to look at him and smiled at him. She held out her hand in an silent invitation. Immediately he shook his head.

"Come dance with me B, you know you want to," she pleaded with him.

He sighed in reply.

"I have been dancing all day Mer," he reminded her. She pouted and he began to laugh.

"What if I make dinner tonight and it is entirely your choice?" she teased. He smirked at her.

"You definitely know how to tempt someone don't you?" he said as he got up from the couch and stalked over to her.

She shrugged her shoulders as he grabbed her waist and pulled in closer. He grinned at her.

"I have my ways. Plus I need my best dance partner tonight," she said sadly, her voice trembling a little betraying her calm composure. Blaine looked down at her and realised that she had been crying again. Slowly the pair began to sway together to the music. Blaine sighed he could see that Meredith was struggling.

"Have you tried talking to him Mer?" he asked, gently staring into her eyes.

Tears began to form in Meredith's eyes as she quickly shook her head. He raked a hand through his curls and sighed again; at a loss of what advice to give to his best friend. He hated to see her hurting so badly like this and not for the first time since the break up, he cursed Michael and his stupidity. Blaine had want to hit Michael when he first found out what he had done to Meredith, but she had managed to calm him down and talk him out of that foolish action.

After all he had no right to judge really; he had done the same thing to Kurt two years ago which had ultimately cost him the love of his life. He closed his eyes and the memories began to seep back in. The loneliness he had felt at the distance between them, the hurt at the missed or rejected calls and Skype dates, followed by the hard realisation that he was losing Kurt.

Blaine did not understand what he had hooked with Eli that night some random guy he had found through Facebook. The guy had meant nothing to him and two years later he still did not know why he had done what he did. He still wished that he could turn back time and stop himself from replying to that Facebook message and messing everything up. There was nothing he could do about it now and he still could not change it however much he wanted to, he could not take it back.

She saw the concentration and watched as the different emotions flickered across his face. He was thinking about his past again and about Kurt; she just knew he was.

"You are thinking about Kurt again aren't you?" she asked gently as she stared up at him. He smiled at her question, she had developed an uncanny sixth sense since they had become friends as she always seemed to know what he was thinking.

"Yes," he simply replied.

"Don't you dare compare yourself to Michael, Blaine," she said rather harshly. He looked at her and frowned.

"You did not set out to deliberately hurt Kurt and you never flaunted your new relationship in his face just to be spiteful to him," she continued.

Blaine shook his head at her words.

"I did hurt him though Mer. God, I will never forgot how heartbroken he looked when I told him what I had done. That memory will haunt me forever," he said.

She was silent as she thought over what he said.

"You made a mistake Blaine. Yes a very stupid one, but you knew that you had made a mistake and you came clean right away when you realised what you had done. But Michael never gave me that courtesy," she replied bitterly. Instantly Blaine pulled her into a hug as tears began to flow more freely down her face as she finally allowed herself to break down in his arms.

He gently rubbed her back to soothe her and once more thought of killing Michael entered his head.

"It's okay to be okay Mer, we will get through this together" he said gently kissing the top of her head. She bit her lip unsure but she looked up at him and offered him a small smile. "Thank you Blaine for being such a great friend and my rock," she said as she began to wipe the tears and streaked mascara from her face.

"I must look dreadful and an absolute mess," she protested as she pulled out of his embrace. Meredith offered him a small smile "I will be right back," she said softly. Meredith then turned and began to walk out of the living room heading in direction of the bathroom.

Author Note: This is my first glee fanfic story and my first Blaine and Kurt story. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I would like to thank my amazing beta Gleeeeeful for betaing this chapter if you have not checked out her stories please do so :-). Please read and review, I love hearing feedback from my readers. Thanks Dra