A/N so this is a short chapter but I felt it was necessary. And don't worry I promise we are getting to the really good parts soon! Thanks to all those that replied about missing this story. I won't lie inspiration was hard to find. But I hope you can enjoy this until Chapter Eleven comes to fruition. Hopefully it won't take as long as this one. And I should have another update for Forever Fortune's Fool out soon!
Chapter Ten- Part Two: Broken
Playlist- Say Something by: A Great Big World
It wasn't the crash of Damon hitting the wall that brought Stefan to the front room but rather the sound of Bonnie's voice.
"Not that exercising your powers by throwing me across the room isn't an immense turn on but there are other ways to get my attention Bonnie." Damon quips, his back still pressed tightly against the bookcase. His whole body is spread eagle as if his little witch is ready to split him wide open and by the look on her face it seems that is exactly what she intends to do.
"Answer the question!" She demands. Her green eyes flash under the incandescent lighting of the boarding house as she steps further inside.
"Exactly what question would that be? It seems your words were drowned out by all the wind. You know I always knew that you were full of hot air but this just seems a bit dramatic don't you think?" The words have barely left his lips when he feels like his head is on fire as she pops blood vessels across his frontal lobe. "Son-of-a –bi-," He groans.
"Am I interrupting something?"
Stefan asks nonchalantly looking from his brother to Bonnie. Hands placed leisurely on his hips there is no indication that immediate action needs to be taken.
"Not interrupting… just trying to get a few things straight. It seems your brother hasn't been completely honest with me and I want to know why."
"Ahhh okay. Carry on." Stefan replies already pivoting on his heel and beginning to exit.
"You sure you don't want to stay?" She asks folding her arms across her chest her eyes still locked on Damon who has refused to drop his stare or the damn smirk.
Groaning Damon's vision comes back into focus. "Yes brother, wouldn't you like to know what has Little Miss Bennett all up in arms and ready for a fight?"
"I'm sure whatever her reasons are you more than deserve it." He replies
"Oh really?" He questions and there is something in the way his tone alters that makes Stefan pause. "She seems to think that I've been spying on her in London."
"What…why…" Stefan begins but is cut off.
"Don't try and deny it! Elena told me about your little 'visits'." She makes air quotations around the last word sarcastically. "So exactly what were you doing huh? Were you keeping tabs on me? You wanted to make sure you always knew where your little witch was in case you found yourself in a tough spot and needed my help?! Or were you spying on Stefan?"
"Why would I need to spy on Stefan?"
And even though it seems as if she is waiting for his reasonable explanation her mind can't help the thoughts that have begun to plague her. That perhaps he has been manipulating her, pulling her in and using her feelings to maneuver her into getting what he wants. That his secret trips have been nothing more than recon missions in order to spy on her, learn more about her so that he could use it against her later on down the road. And the fact that this thought saddens her, hurts her inside makes her angry. Because Damon Salvatore should not have this kind of power over her.
It is not right.
It is not okay.
These feelings that have been born in the midst of the distance between them do not make sense to her. She cannot understand the logic, the reason, the way in which they have formed but they are there. And she does not like it.
"I don't know! Why do you do anything? I can only assume it has something to do with Elena. I mean why else would you travel half way across the world?" She asks and there is no way for her to hide the bitterness in her words.
"Really? You're going to use the 'Elena' card on me right now? After the other day that's what you're going with?"
"The other day? What happened the other day?" Stefan asks but his question goes ignored.
"The 'Elena Card'? She's not a card Damon. She's the entire fucking deck! Everything that you do, every move that you make always tracks back to her! Because you can't help yourself! And I pity anyone who believes otherwise."
There is a moment of silence as he stares her down, the gleam in his eye bordering on ice and she shivers without consent. Because even though she has him physically pinned against his own wall there is something inside her that warns her she is not in control of this situation. That somehow Mr. Salvatore definitely has the upper hand and she doesn't like it.
"Do you hear that Stefan? Every move that I make is dictated by Elena." And even though the question is directed at his brother his eyes never leave hers.
"Damon…" Stefan begins.
"There is nothing in this world that I don't do unless it's somehow in direct relation to her is that it?"
"Your words, not mine." She replies flippantly even as she drops him from the wall. And of course he lands on his feet just as gracefully as a fucking panther seemingly unfazed.
"Damon just let it go." Stefan tries again but Damon overrides him once more.
"Oh no sweetheart! Those are definitely your words. According to you, I'm just some lovesick son-of-a-bitch that is incapable of making a decision unless it somehow benefits Elena. I use and manipulate and scheme to get me closer to her right?" He asks scathingly. "Because that's what I do. That's the kind of person that I am!" He licks his lips and folds his arms over his chest taking steady steps in her direction. "And obviously it worked because I was the one in between her legs every night!" He adds for good measure.
She rolls her eyes already turning away. "This is so pointless and you're disgusting!"
He speeds into her line of sight stopping her in her tracks. "Wait just a minute! You came here for answers right? Before you go running off ready to condemn me for being the selfish, self-serving bastard that you believe me to be please let me enlighten you… if I'm so selfish… so conniving and manipulative… if I'm the one that can't take a fucking breath without checking with Elena first then how come I'm the only one that actually came to visit you in London and not your good friend Stefan over here?"
"Damon stop this!" Stefan warns.
"Why? Why shouldn't she know the truth? She is so quick to jump to conclusions, so quick to paint me as the bad guy here and sit on her fucking high horse and make you out to be some goddamn saint!"
"What are you talking about? Stefan came to visit me… he told me," She begins when Damon cuts in.
"He told you what? That the first time he saw you, the first time he laid eyes on you, you were standing outside of the library and you dropped a text book. How your new friends called you clumsy and you did what… you laughed and he had never heard it before. Or maybe he told you about your douche bag of a Professor with the horrible lisp!" He taunts. "He told you exactly what I told him to!"
And it's something about his eyes; the way they gleam and pin her to the spot that lets her know he is telling the truth. But she calls him a liar anyway because he has to be lying. "Not this time! For once I'm not the Salvatore brother that's deceived you!" Getting close enough he can practically taste her warm sweet breath on his tongue. It's a mixture of hazelnut and fire. Locking his eyes on her he smirk. "There you have it. There's the answer that you came for. Tell me… which one is really the bastard now?" He remarks before storming out.
She turns away and looks to Stefan because she can trust Stefan. She can always count on Stefan to be honest with her.
Say Something I'm Giving up on you
"Stefan…" But the rest of her words die somewhere in her throat. Because his look is telling her so many things. So many things that she doesn't want to be told. "Why?"
She's not exactly sure what she is asking. 'Why did he lie to her?' 'Why didn't he come to visit her?' 'Why did he deceive her?'
He exhales deeply. "Bonnie please let me explain. It's not the way it sounds."
Anywhere I would have followed you
"Really? Because it sounds like you lied to me. It sounds like you manipulated me so that you could get what you wanted from me!"
He takes a step in her direction. "Bonnie just listen to me."
"Why; so you can tell me more lies? Tell me how you missed me and wished I had never left?" She scoffs.
"I did miss you! And you have no idea how guilty I felt about not coming to see you. How guilty I still feel and how much I hated having to lie to you."
"Yeah I bet." She laughs scornfully. "So how did this go down exactly? You couldn't be bothered to leave Elena's side so you sent Damon to spy on me; keep tabs on me so you knew exactly how to get me to come back?"
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
Shaking his head he exhales. "No. I didn't even know about Damon's visits until recently. And his reasons for coming to see you are all his own, whatever they may be." Swallowing hard he looks down at his feet trying to find the right words to explain himself. "Bonnie I swear I never wanted to lie to you. I never wanted to deceive you. I had every intention of coming to you and simply asking you for your help. But it had been months with no contact and I wasn't sure..." He exhales deeply. "When Damon said he had been visiting you in secret… when he told me about … how you seemed genuinely happy and free and that's why he kept his distance I understood. I agreed with him. I would have done the same thing."
"But you didn't come to see me Stefan! You just used what Damon told you! You made me believe that you cared."
"I do care about you Bonnie. I just… I needed you to come back. I needed your help."
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
"For Elena." She supplies. She blinks trying to clear her blurred vision. Her chest hurts. It physically hurts and she wonders how she allowed herself to end up here; Once again caught up in this mess of Mystic Falls being deceived and pushed around.
"You uprooted my life for the one person that accused me of ruining hers. She cut me out of her life because I tried to help her and somehow you thought it would be a good idea to have me step back in again… why? Why would you do that? Because you want the old Elena back?" Shaking her head she gives him a sardonic smile.
He nods. "I love her." He states softly as if somehow that explains it all away. As if that is enough to make her understand.
"And damn the rest of the world right?" He meets her eyes hearing the falter in her tone and for a moment he swears he can see the sadness etched clearly in the contours of her cheeks, in the arch of her eyebrows and the half smile that touches the corners of her lips. There is a tremor that shakes her chest ever so slightly with every breath that she takes and for a moment there is nothing but silence that hangs tangibly in the air between them. The seconds are counted by the beats of her steady heart and he listens and he waits.
She thought he was different. She thought that of all of them he was the one that actually understood her, cared about her. That maybe he could see beyond the aura that was Elena and see there was more to life.
She was wrong,
Say something I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Shaking her head she crosses her arms taking measured steps in his direction. "I swear the nerve of you Salvatores. You think that your feelings, that your emotions for Elena, or Katherine somehow outweigh everyone else's lives. Nothing is too much. Nothing is too great as long as she's saved! I mean you killed my mother. You put an entire town's lives in jeopardy to open a tomb. Hell you'd probably sell your own mother just to keep her out of harm's way! Well let's get something straight right here, right now. I am not some pawn to be used at your will just so you can get back what you lost! And the sooner you realize that the better off you will be!"
"So where does that leave us?" He asks after a beat.
And anywhere I would have followed you
Say something I'm giving up on you…
She is so close to him that she can't help but see the desperation in his hazel eyes and she wishes it didn't affect her. But it does. Because of all things she managed to change about herself her open heart wasn't one of them. But that didn't mean she had to be that pathetic young girl that was ready and willing to fall on her own sword for those that obviously wouldn't do the same for her. "I'll still go with you to the island to find the cure. But I am telling you, that I am not willing to sacrifice my life for her, or you or anyone else. Just so you know if it comes down to a choice between me and her. You better believe I'm going to choose me!" And with that she storms out not bothering to look back.