A/N : Jk Owns everything but the dysfunction I've created. Please note that although I use some of the same characters this story is totally independent of my other stories. Enjoy.

Always wake up in your own bed.

That's the first piece of advice I'd give anyone if they asked. Ever since a mishap in seventh year at Hogwarts (that may or may not have involved setting a couch in the Slytherin common room on fire) I've been determined to live by this rule. See I have a routine. I sleep the exact same way every night and wake up the exact same way every morning. I have six pillows on my bed and I surround myself with them so that I don't fall straight onto the floor as I roll over to hit the snooze button. I like knowing what to expect in the morning, not holding my breath and crossing my fingers that whatever is lying next to me is reasonably good looking. I always want to be in control, and in my bed the only thing that challenges my authority is my goddamn alarm clock.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

I couldn't hit snooze again and I knew it, after the seventh time it would just feel lazy. And so I kicked off all of the covers confining me and rolled onto my feet. I shuffled to the bathroom as fast and quiet as possible. My cousin Dom was sleeping soundly in the next room (hopefully alone) and if she woke up I would have to battle tooth and nail for the privilege to use the limited hot water.

The condition of the bathroom reveals to me right away just how drunk my cousin had been the night before. The rug in front of the shower was two feet away from its usual spot and folded over onto itself (from when she slipped on it, busted her ass, and then kicked it in frustration), the medicine cabinet was open, its contents nearly falling out due to how poorly they had been put back ( her desperation to find a pain reliever for her headache) , the cap on the tooth paste was missing (I'm sure I would find it under the sink), and the trash bin was overflowing with tissues (because every time she drinks she cries for hours about how she's going to die alone until she promptly passes out). On a scale of one to ten I would place her drunkeness at about a 7. Had she been a ten I would have walked in to find her lying on the floor next to the toilet with her favorite stuffed cat (Romeo) and a jug of Pineapple juice. (which she believes prevents hangovers)

Just as I do every Saturday I clean up after her, find the toothpaste cap, and start preparing for my own shower. I glance at myself in the mirror before the steam fogs it over. I hadn't done as good of a job taking off my make up last night as I thought I had. I absolutely hated working late it always left me with mascara smears the next morning. My auburn hair was a big boring mess, there was even a few bobby pins that I had to wrestle out. I was so pale. Either the bathroom lighting was deceiving or I needed to tan. I looked like every girl looked after a late Friday night, but I was still beautiful me.

When the water starts getting cold I turn off the shower and carefully step out onto the bath mat. The flat was still dead silent so I simply dried myself off with a towel best I could and ran across the hall into my bedroom. Since today was just going to be an errand day I would let my hair dry naturally. It would get incredibly frizzy ( a gene from my mother) and by lunch I would be so frustrated with it , it would end up tied in a bun on the top of my head. None of that mattered though. I could look as terrible as I wanted today, because the only date I had was with a to-do list.

Get dressed.

I dug through my drawers to find my favorite pair of jeans. (Comfortable waistband, plenty of pocket space, and enough tears to get me a genuine look of disgust from my mother) and my Puddlemere United hoodie. I can't really say I follow quidditch closely anymore. I was a Puddlemere fan only because a close friend of mine had played for them for a few years after he graduated from Hogwarts. He was really good, until a bludger smashed up his arm so bad that even though they grew the bones back his nerves and muscles were never the same. He had no real control of his dominant arm and when you're a keeper on a professional quidditch team that is a career ending injury. It's a very sad story, he was a quidditch prodigy trying to fill his father's shoes and his dreams were totally shattered. I still wear the hoodie sometimes though. (just for the memories) Once I had dressed I tiptoed out into the kitchen. #2 on my to-do list should have been groceries, however the list Dom and I had been compiling over the week on our dry erase board had been replaced with a message. " – Rose, I'm not dead. XOXO Dom."

"Nice to know," I said to myself "but so much for groceries."

3. New work clothes.

This meant a trip to London. Dom and I lived in a rather expensive flat about 10 minutes outside of the busy streets. And when I say expensive I truly mean it. I couldn't live here without Dom, we both have full time jobs and we barely get by. Though I will admit that we aren't the wisest spenders (i.e buying new boots somehow seems more practical than paying the rent). Perhaps that has finally caught up to us. I kicked a moving box across the floor and make a note in my head.

4. Find somewhere to live.

A week ago I had found an eviction notice taped to our door. Dom hadn't come up with her half of the rent , and waited until it was 2 weeks overdue before telling me she couldn't afford to keep living here and thus neither could I. I'm still not sure exactly why she couldn't pay rent all of the sudden. As far as I know her salary is still the same, and I know for a fact that she still has her job. Every time I try to ask she changes the subject so I've given up. As of right now I'm pretty angry with her for the situation she's put us in. After all she has the option of moving back in with her parents, I don't.

Since we live in an area occupied mostly by muggles we have to be very cautious about where and when we apparate. Our designated spot is in the alley behind our building in between two dumpsters. Dom whines about the smell all the time, I just hold my breath. 1, 2, 3 POP!

I appear in a similar alley, this one next to a Wizard's pub The Leaky Cauldron. The moment I walk in I am bombarded by the voluptuous barmaid and owner Hannah Longbottom. Hannah and her husband Neville are very close with my family….and Neville was also my favorite professor at Hogwarts where he was recently named headmaster after McGonagall stepped down.

"Have you seen the Prophet this morning!" Hannah yells towards me from her position behind the bar.

"Well good morning to you too." I say as I walk towards her. "No I haven't seen it, just woke up a bit ago. What's happened? Did James snog another cocktail waitress?"

Hannah doesn't answer but shoves the paper towards me. I see a picture of myself and Dom in the corner of the front page. "Weasley Angst Pulls Family Apart Yet Again. (Full story on page 4).

"Must not be too scandalous if they didn't give us the front page." I say as I flip to the fourth page. I skimmed the article fast. It was a typical dramatization of something insignificant. I recognized the author's name immediately. She had written a lot of horrible articles about my family over the past few years. This however wasn't one of her better pieces.

"She was desperate, this isn't exactly riveting news." I say laying it face down on the bar. "The Potter lot must be laying low _"

"Is it true?" Hannah asks frantically "Are you two really not speaking?!"

"No, Dom and I are fine. We didn't row we just can't afford that flat anymore."

"Oh good, I'd hate to see your poor family suffer through anymore drama. If you girls need somewhere to stay you know you have a room here."

"Thank you Hannah. " I smiled "I'm off to Diagon alley, maybe I'll look around there see if anything is available."

"Alright dear, just let me know if you need a place to stay. And for Merlin's sake write your mother, she's probably worrying herself sick."

I waited until I had crossed over to Diagon Alley before I rolled my eyes. I wouldn't need to write to my mother. I'm sure there would be a howler waiting for me when I arrived back at my flat. My parents' owl will wait until I get there like it always does. Pig won't leave letters with Dom anymore. He's hated her ever since the day she gave him a stale marshmallow treat and he nearly choked to death. I never knew owls could hold grudges. Seems like more of a cat thing.

Diagon alley has been expanding in the last ten years or so. Every day there seems to be more and more people, more street vendors , and more wizards selling the blasted prophet (in addition to other magazines that print tedious gossip instead of actual news.) The shop I'm headed too is close to the end of Diagon Alley so I glare at two giant stacks of newspapers before I arrive.

"The Witching Hour Boutique" a tiny little store that sells the finest lingerie in all of England , at least in my opinion. Plus they have my measurements on file.

I should take a moment to say, there are two things you should know about me.

The first is the only thing the wizarding world cares to know…I am Rose Weasley, daughter of two of the golden trio and favorite niece of the chosen one. I am red haired royalty, but it's nothing I would ever brag about. Fame is actually quite daunting really, it's not as if you get paid for all the rumors people spread about you. Luckily I'm not a usual target. When the press is hungry for a story , they go for the loud and translucent. My cousin James for instance, who allows himself to be photographed at bars grinding on teenage girls wearing sailor hats ( at least according to the last photo I saw) despite the fact that he is engaged to a very prominent wizard's daughter.

The second, is the only thing the Wizarding world will never know. I am an escort, or what most people would call a whore. I'm sure all that brings to mind is dirty brothels in sketchy places like Knockturn alley but on the contrary it's quite civilized. I work for an agency that only serves the finest and wealthiest. This agency not only prescreens everyone involved, but has very complicated secrecy laws that protect me and every one of my clients. I don't feel bad about what I do. It's usually not just about sex. Some men are just lonely, others just want to talk. I realize I'll never change some people's minds about this industry. If the world found out what I do they'd call me a slut and abuse me for the rest of my life, which is why they never will find out. I can count the people that know the truth about me on my fingers. My cousins and my co-workers. My clients couldn't identify me if they wanted too (those secrecy enchantments I mentioned) they know me as Scarlett. And by exchange I cannot reveal to anyone their identity. I see myself as a professional, one day I hope to run the agency ( as I am very much in the pocket of its current Madame) There are drawbacks though. Obviously I hear a lot of grief (constantly) from the people who do know my secret , trying to convince me to give it all up and be normal. Also, my job pretty much makes a relationship impossible. No guy in his right mind could want to be with someone whose job is to pretend like they're someone else's girlfriend for money. I get lonely sometimes, but usually I have Dom to hang out with, or Al. And if I get too depressed I just go shopping and remind myself why my job is worth it. That is the third drawback, I spend more money on underwear than any human being in existence. Which is why I leave the boutique with two full shopping bags.

Before I head back to the flat (to make sure Dom hasn't drowned herself in the shower) I decide to stop by Albus' shop. It's a bit out of the way, as its further down from the Leaky Cauldron where all the school- related shops are, but he's undoutbly seen the prophet and is probably convinced Dom and I have killed each other . Albus became a business owner long before I became an escort. He's always been very cynical and throughout his teen years he took up an interest in muggle technology (something Grandpa Weasley sympathized with). Well before I knew it graduation had barely passed and Al had written a book. "Weakness of a Wand" is essentially a three hundred page essay on why magic is out of date. It encourages people to learn about muggle technology as its making advancements faster than the Wizarding world is. It also makes several direct references to prominent pureblood families that he believes are "continuously setting us back with blood prejudice" and he blatantly insults almost everything the Ministry of Magic does. Needless to say he did not get a good reaction. Almost immediately the book was banned in most Wizarding bookstores. It was also slandered by the prophet who cautioned parents to forbid their children to read it. What they failed to realize was that telling youths they shouldn't read it only made them want to. People started contacting Albus directly to buy the book, and a few short months later with the profits from the book and from a few summers working as a stock boy in Uncle George's shop, Al rented a tiny space in Diagon Alley and filled it with his book, books similar in theme , and some muggle books and gadgets. It gets a lot of attention from people of our generation. Older people still look down their noses at it. Some feel more passionately, as it has been vandalized a few times. But Al is perfectly happy and business is good so those people aren't accomplishing much. He, James , and our friend Jordan Wood all live in the flat right above the store. (Jordan actually works there, James is just living there until he marries his spoiled princess of a fiancé and moves to a mansion.) When I get to the shop the lights are out and the door is locked. The boys must be having a late start this morning , maybe that's who Dom was out with last night. I approach the door to head up to their flat when I see a sign.

"1 bedroom flat for rent, third floor."

I could not be happier. This is a sign from Merlin! I know the place is probably small and crappy considering half of the third floor is Albus' storage space, but it would be somewhere cheap to live while I actually start to save money. AND it would please everyone in the family since I'm so close to the boys! AND I could say I'm working with Al instead of making something different up every time I see my mother! AND Since I'll always be here she can't prove me wrong!

Immediately I abandon my journey to visit my cousins, rip the flyer off of the door , and race back towards the Leaky Cauldron so I can apparate home. I had to write Al's landlady immediately. If this works out than I can actually sleep peacefully tonight!

"DOM!" I yell when I burst through our door. She's sitting at the table wearing an enormous hoodie and looking essentially like death. "Dom I found somewhere cheap enough for me to live!" I said.

She stared at me "Any room for me? "

"1 bedroom." I said regretfully "But good news is now I'm not mad at you! Well I am. But only for erasing the grocery list." I hugged her as I walked towards my room to deposit my shopping bags.

"Where is it?" she asked with a mouthful of pineapple juice.

"It right above Al's flat! I was going over there to_"

"Wait you didn't go up there with that Puddlemere hoodie on did you? You know that gets Wood all depressed."

I shook my head "No I just saw the flyer and came back here to write the land lady." I grabbed some parchment and started writing frantically. "Is Rapunzel out on the windowsill?" (our owl not the princess)

Less than an hour later I had received a reply. The woman, Ms. Bishop was desperate to fill the place. She said if I could send her a deposit I could move in as early as next weekend.

"I'm happy for you." Dom said halfheartedly "I may just move in with Victiore at least until she and Ted finally get married."

I beamed at her. "Im going to write to Albus. Hopefully he'll be pleased."

"As long as he never has to see you dressed for work." She said "I doubt he'll be as understanding as I am."

"Oh by the way Dom read the prophet."

"Oh damn, am I in it? How bad is it?"

"It's us, apparently we've rowed and we're ripping the family apart and yada yada yada."

"That's lame. All the crazy shit I did last night and that's all they have on me. It's almost disappointing."

"Okay I'm going to write Al, you should probably bathe."

She smelled herself and nodded at me as I gathered more parchment.

This couldn't have been a more perfect day.

A/N: Despite Rose's revelation rest assured that there will be NO vulgarity in this story (i.e No Fifty Shades of anything) and I am in no way indorsing prostitution it is simply part of the plotline. Thanks for reading.