Disclaimer: All rights to Tales of Symphonia belongs to Namco.

A/N: Hello everyone! I've just finished watching the ToS OVA and it made me fall in love with the game even more! This is my first ToS fanfic and the idea came to me while I was getting ready for bed. I was up until 2:30AM writing this on my phone until I had finally called it quits to get some sleep. Characters may be OOC, but since this is a humorous fic that's to be expected. I hope you all enjoy and please tell me what you think!

The day started out just like any other day in the Renegade Base. Yuan would leave his room at the crack of dawn, check around the base to make sure everything's in order, do some reports for Mithos, gather information on Kvar's hunt for the Angelus Project, report anything crucial back to Kratos, do some reports for the base, and then retire back to his room at the end of the night only to do it all over again in the morning.

Yup, just another regular day. Yuan was walking down the hall towards his office to meet with Kratos and Anna to lend them a Rheiard. Due to having to listen to Mithos throwing a tantrum at Kratos leaving Derris-Kharlan, Yuan was running behind schedule and he had left the couple to wait in his office for about half an hour.

Finally arriving at his door, Yuan raised his hand and stretched out a long finger towards the panel to open the door when a curious noise stopped him.

"Mmm, Kratos, that feels so good!"

A pleasured moan drifted through the metal door. Yuan's finger froze a scant inch from pressing the button on the panel to open the door. His eyes widened in shock at what he just heard. Did he hear that right? There was... Provocative moaning coming straight through his office doors; surely they couldn't be doing that in there now could they? Of course they are newlyweds and they're probably in their honeymoon phase, but to do that in his office no less where he could walk in at any moment was ridiculous! And they were expecting him too!

"Ah, ah, there! Yes, right there! Ohhh, your fingers are absolutely sinful."

A deep chuckle most definitely belonging to an auburn haired male floated into Yuan's ears. "Sinful, hmm? Then I suppose you wouldn't mind if I do this?"

A feminine purr of delight was his answer.

Another chuckle. "Ah, Anna, I can never get enough of the sounds you make. Do make some more for me."

"Ah, ah, mmm!"

By now a pink flush that was gradually getting deeper with every sound coming through the door had appeared on the flustered half-elf's cheeks. Yuan was absolutely uncomfortable standing outside his own office listening to his best friend enjoy the intimacies of married life with his wife like some kind of voyeur. He wanted to turn around and walk away, but his feet were rooted to the spot and he couldn't stop staring at the closed door in disbelief. It was as if he stared long enough then he could somehow develop x-ray vision to see if they really were doing that! He couldn't take it anymore! Just as the blunette was about to press on the panel once more, he heard Anna whimper in pain.

"Nnn, Kratos, you're going too hard! It hurts!"

"I'm sorry, Anna," Regret at causing pain to his wife was laced in Kratos' voice, "But I have to go deeper. Once I do, I promise it will be quite pleasurable." Kratos' baritone voice dropped an octave lower.

A choked whimper soon changed to a pleased gasp. "Oh, you're right." Sigh. "I'm-I'm so close!" Groan. "Please, don't stop!" Moan. "Yes, Yes! Ahh, Kratos!"


A long drawn out moan from both parties within followed by a series of pants and gasps were the only sounds Yuan could hear. Thinking it was over, the half-elf was once again about to enter when he heard rustling and Anna's voice.

"That was wonderful," A satisfied sigh, "And to think we did that in Yuan's office." She giggled.

"Heh, indeed."

"Y'know we've been waiting an awfully long time for Yuan to show..."

"... What are you thinking?"

"Well," She drawled, "It's been this long already. There's probably no harm in us having another go at it."

"Again?" Yuan could hear the smirk in Kratos' voice.

"Mmhmm, but this time I'll be on top." She purred.

Yuan's mouth dropped in horror. No, no, no! Once in his office was bad enough, but now they wanted to do that a second time?! No way, no how! It was time to put an end to this!

He hastily pressed the button on the panel. Once the door slid open, Yuan burst into the office and was met with an unexpected sight. There on the middle of the floor was Anna lying down on her stomach with her arms pillowing her head. Kratos was on top of Anna straddling her hips with his hands resting on her shoulders.

Yuan expected that much when he barged into his office. What he didn't expect was that they were both fully clothed and staring up at him; Anna with surprise at his abrupt entrance and Kratos was as impassive as ever.

"Yuan? Are you alright?" Anna asked concerned.

"I-I'm fine. Wha-what's going on in here?" Yuan stuttered out.

Anna blinked her eyes innocently then shrugged her shoulders lightly before answering, "Kratos was giving me a back massage."

"Huh? A back massage? That's all?" Yuan's eyes were still wide with disbelief. The noises he heard coming from the two didn't sound like it was just a massage.

This time it was Kratos who answered, "Yes, Yuan. That's all that happened here. Why? Were you expecting something else?" Even though his voice was light, mirth was dancing in the lone russet eye that wasn't covered by the mane of auburn hair as if he knew exactly what Yuan had concluded was happening in the room.

Yuan quickly turned to the side so he wouldn't have to face the couple anymore. "N-no. I wasn't expecting anything else. Why were you making such noises especially at the end?" He demanded.

"There was a stubborn knot in my back and it really hurt when Kratos pressed down on it, but the deeper he pressed the better it felt." Anna giggled slightly at the end of her explanation.

Yuan cleared his throat to rid of his embarrassment and tried to use his "all business" voice.

"You came here for a Rheiard, right? I can only spare one since the rest are in need of repairs."

"That's fine. One is all we need." Kratos said.

"Very well. If that's all then I will take my leave."

"Mmhmm! Thanks a lot, Yuan!" Anna chirped in thanks.

A pink tinge was still spread across the half-elf's cheeks though fainter as Yuan left his office as quickly as he could while still trying to appear unflustered.

Anna cocked her head to the side in confusion. "That was odd. Why'd he leave in such a hurry?"

Krato's lips lifted up into a smirk as he answered his wife, "Because he believed we were doing 'activities' that should be done in the privacy of our own place."

"Ohhh..." Understanding dawned on her face before she was attacked with giggles. "How silly! As if we'd ever do that in such a public place!"

Kratos hummed in amusement while lightly rubbing Anna's shoulders. "But now that we have our privacy again, I doubt Yuan will be coming back here after such an embarrassment. At least not for a while. We could use this opportunity to..." Kratos trailed off suggestively.

Anna gasped in shock. "Kratos Aurion, you're not really suggesting we do that now are you?"

The purple clad mercenary shrugged his shoulder in reply. Mischief sparked in his russet eye as he looked at his wife. Anna gaped at him for a second or two before her lips tipped up into a smile.

"Like I said before, I'll be on top this time."

For the next hour or so all that could be heard through the office door were provocative moaning, groaning and gasps. And just as Kratos had predicted, no one dared to go near that office door especially Yuan, who was still trying to cool down his flushing cheeks.