And so they drove on through the snow, the pack of it only seeming to become thicker and thicker as they progressed along the rural road. Thick up to a point the Volga got stuck several times, Crypto having to get out and use his psychokinesis to shove the car out of the slippery mush.
But eventually, with only around 20 miles left to go, it became clear it was impossible to move on through the now nearly two feet of snow.
So Natalya had manoeuvered the Volga to the side of the road and shut down the engine.
"So we're stuck here?" Crypto asked, clearly unhappy.
"Da, comrade. For now." Natalya replied. "We have little other choice than to wait for the snowstorm to pass."
She sighed and proceeded to rummage around in the glove compartment of the car.
"Make room, tovarisch." she then said, and climbed over the backrest of the front seats, sitting down on the back seat, in between Pox and Crypto.
"Hold this." She shoved a bottle of vodka in Crypto's hands, and reached underneath the back seat to grab a blanket which she then wrapped around herself.
"We might as well get settled." Natalya then sighed, and also produced two shotglasses from underneath the back seat.
She took the bottle from Crypto and handed him the two glasses, and proceeded to undo the top of the bottle.
"This is hardly the time for drinking…!" Pox exclaimed. "We should use our precious time to come up with a strategy…!"
"We can do both, Orthopox. Would you care for a drink, too…? It wil help keep you warm."
"No, thank you." Pox growled.
Natalya then poured the clear liquid into the two glasses, redid the top and placed the bottle aside. She took one of the glasses from Crypto and raised it.
"Nasdrovje, Crypto. And to the Soviet Union."
"Whatever you say, goldie." Crypto grinned as their glasses tinged.
Pox watched in mild disgust as both then downed the vodka in a heartbeat.
Crypto shuddered for a moment, feeling the strong spirit going down his throat.
"Gaah, nice one, dollface. Nothin' like the real Russian thing."
"Da, Crypto. Care for another?"
"You know it, sugar…"
Both glasses were then filled to the brim again, and emptied quicker than they had filled.
Pox couldn't help feeling angry. If they kept this up, it wouldn't take long before it became impossible to reason with them about a plan of attack.
Pox decided to ignore them, and proceeded to look out the car window, dully watching the falling snow.
A while passed, and it didn't take long for the alchohol to go to Crypto's big head.
"I'll tell you this, cupcake…" he started. "Once we get back on the Mothership I'm gonna probe all of those monkeys there so hard their entire spine will come out along with their brains… I can take all of 'em with one phylangeopod tied behind my back, you'll see. Just gimme a Disintegrator Ray and a couple-a Ion Detonators and I'll cook you up one hell of a party, heh."
"That's all very nice, Crypto. But we don't have any weapons." Pox hissed.
"Don't worry, spaceman." Natalya told Pox. "We'll find our ways. Now Crypto, I've heard a lot of stories about you…Is it true you once blew up an entire airfield all by yourself…?"
"You bet, cupcake." Crypto grinned. "With one of their own nukes, no less."
"I see. Very impressive."
"I helped…" Pox mumbled.
"And did you really defeat a 50-foot robot controlled by the American president's brain…?"
"Yeah, I did. You shoulda seen it, goldie. I snapped that one monument, ya know, the giant phallic thingie, with my psychokinesis and ran it right through that thing."
"You did not…!" Pox objected. "You blasted him in your saucer and cowardly begged me several times to hurry and remotely fix the Scout Ship before he made you crash and burn…!"
But neither of Pox's fellow car occupants seemed to bother listening to his rant.
Natalya playfully ran an index finger along Crypto's chest, intoxicatedly smiling at him.
"Most impressive, spaceman." she cooed. "I'm glad I'm on your side, now…"
Crypto gave her a seductive smile in return, and slowly leaned in. To his delight, Natalya closed her eyes and allowed him to start a careful kiss on her lips.
Pox again averted his gaze in disgust.
Here he was, sitting in a puny human vehicle, stuck in a heap of snow in the middle of nowhere, with two intoxicated individuals making out right next to him while his precious Mothership was under siege.
And on top of all that, a gnaw of jealousy twisted in his gut.
His brow twitched in anger as Pox listened to the quiet lovey-dovey noises coming from Natalya and Crypto, until, after a few minutes, they suddenly stopped.
Pox looked back over to them, only to find out they had both fallen asleep.
A few hours later, Pox awoke to the sound of a starting engine.
As he opened his eyes, he saw Natalya had gotten back on the driver's seat and got ready to resume their journey.
Crypto was still asleep, currently leaning against Pox with one arm around him, and slightly drooling over him.
"Has the snow stopped…?" Pox asked hoarsely.
"Da, a little." Natalya replied. "And we're in luck. An army convoy just went by, their snowplough has cleared the road."
Natalya then steered the Volga back onto the road and got to driving.
Pox looked out the window, noticing the evening was already setting in. There was still some snowfall, but thankfully the worst seemed to have passed.
Crypto made a few low growling noises in his sleep and slightly adjusted his hold on Pox.
It was only then that Pox became aware of him.
"Get off me, you dolt!" he barked at the warrior clone as he shoved him off him, instantly waking him up.
"What, what…?" Crypto sleepily let out. "Hey, we're movin'… Why're we movin'…?"
"Hopefully we'll be at my dacha in about 45 minutes." Natalya said. "We should reach it before dark."
"And you're positive no one will find us there…?" Pox asked.
"Da, positive. It's in a remote clearing in the woods. Only one rough path leads to it."
"I hope you got somethin' to eat there… I'm starvin'." Crypto yawned.
"I do, but not much. Don't expect French toast." Natalya told him.
"How 'bout a French kiss, then…?" Crypto seductively asked as he sat up, grabbing the backrest of the front seat to get at Natalya's eyelevel.
Natalya's countenance clearly changed.
"That kiss was a mistake, Crypto." she then said. "I was drunk, you were drunk. It meant nothing."
That kind of caught Crypto off guard. Not even a witty rebut came, all he did was pout.
Pox had to suppress a triumphant grin that tried to break through.