Hey guys this is just a warning…there is a sex scene here so watch out. I try not to get too graphic but…just letting you know.
It had been three long and terrible days. I never left my room…well I was never allowed to leave my room. Prince Keir came into my room everyday and talked to me. I tuned him out and just sat on my bed thinking about where Mamo-chan was. Prince Keir was probably torturing him…or worse. What if Mamo-chan was dead?
I stood up from my bed and walked over to the door. I pressed my ear against it. I couldn't hear anything.
I tried the doorknob for probably the millionth time. Like the other million times before that, it was locked.
I groaned and tried to shake horrifying images from my head of my Mamo-chan being tortured.
I sat down on my bed and I felt my stomach grumble. I had eaten very, very little in the past three days. I also hadn't slept. I told myself that if Mamo-chan wasn't eating or sleeping then neither would I.
I heard my door open and I hugged my knees to my chest.
"How are you my flower?" asked Keir.
I didn't answer or look at him.
"I have brought you food," he said and I could smell the food but it just made my stomach turn.
I reached into my pocket and took out the star locket that I had forgotten that I brought everywhere. Tuxedo Mask gave it to me and I saved him with it when Beryl manipulated his mind. I opened it and our lullaby sang and I felt tears run down my face.
Prince Keir moved so quickly I didn't have time to react. He pinned me down against the bed and his eyes were enraged.
"Get off of me!" I yelled.
"I have tried to play nice with you Serenity…but it seems that I have to take your love by force," he said and snapped his fingers.
Four shadow ropes tied me to the bed, two around my wrists and two around my ankles.
"No! Let me go!" I yelled.
Keir ripped my shirt off and my skirt. I was lying there in my underwear and bra. I was completely vulnerable and I was terrified.
He leaned forward and kissed me hard. He forced his tongue into my mouth and I bit it hard.
He yelled and jumped back. His tongue was bleeding and I spit in his face.
"Bitch!" he yelled and ripped my bra off.
I screamed and tried to get loose off the ropes but they cut into my wrists and made me cry out even more.
Keir took off his shirt and pants until he was completely naked.
I closed my eyes and cried. This wasn't happening. I was going to lose my virginity to a monster. To a man who wasn't Mamo-chan.
Keir ripped off my underwear and he entered me. It was beyond painful. I cried out in pain but Keir kept going.
I shook my head side to side and looked over at my star locket, which was still playing its lullaby.
Tuxedo Mask…Endymion…Mamo-chan, I'm so sorry. I love you.
I was lying on my side naked. I couldn't bear to move. I was in so much pain and I felt so much sorrow I thought I would die right there.
My locket was still singing its lullaby. Then I reached out a hand and shut it. I didn't deserve to listen to its sweet music. I felt like I betrayed Mamo-chan.
I sat up and walked to the bathroom. It was across the room. I entered the bathroom and looked at my face.
I had grown dark purple circles under my eyes and they were bloodshot from crying. My cheeks were bright red and had tearstains on them. I also looked a lot skinnier, in my face and body.
I looked at myself with disgust and I picked up the gold hairbrush and threw it hard at the mirror. It shattered and glass shards fell onto the floor like raindrops.
I picked one up and looked at myself again in the shattered mirror, some shards were still there.
It would be so easy. I could just leave forever and not have to cause harm to anyone ever again. I held the shard against my neck.
"Mamma," I heard a voice whisper.
I closed my eyes and then I could see her. Little Chibiusa. She smiled at me and held out her hand.
I took it. I was dressed like Neo-Queen Serenity. I had my daughter holding my left hand and someone else's on my right. I looked up and saw Mamo-chan smiling down at me.
"Mamma, don't be sad. It will be ok," said Chibiusa and she squeezed my hand.
"Don't leave me Usako," said Mamo-chan. "Look at everything that will happen in the future. Everything will turn out to be ok."
I dropped the glass shard and opened my eyes.
"Chibiusa, what I would give to see you again in person," I said. "You would make me laugh."
I turned on the bath and took my odangos out. My long hair fell a little above the floor. I stepped into the bath once it was full and sank down into it.
The bathtub was huge. It was like a hot tub. I put my head under the water and listened to the silence of underwater. It felt peaceful and perfect. I opened my eyes and resurfaced. I washed my body and my hair.
Once my bath was done I dried myself off and put on a long lavender dress made out of silk. Keir had stocked up the wardrobe with many dresses and outfits.
Instead of putting my hair back into odangos, I decided to braid it. I did and sat on my bed.
I didn't know what to do with myself so I decided to clean up the room. I straightened the bed and picked up my school uniform. It was torn so I threw it in the garbage. I bent down in the bathroom and started to pick up each shard of glass. By the time I was done, I had cuts all over my hands and they were bleeding. I thought I needed stitches for one of the cuts.
I heard the door open and I put the shards into the garbage and I slammed the bathroom door and locked it.
I sank down against the door and waited for Keir to leave or say something. I heard his footsteps just outside of the bathroom door and I saw his shadow.
He just stood there not saying anything. Then he knocked on the door. I didn't answer. He knocked again and again until it just got irritating.
"Go away!" I yelled and punched the door.
"You can either come out or I will come in," he said.
I shook my head. I just wanted to go home. Is that so bad? I hated it here. I wanted to kill myself. The only thing still keeping me alive is Chibiusa and Mamo-chan and my friends.
I stood up knowing that I would only give him pleasure by letting him force his way in. I unlocked the door and opened it. I shoved him aside and stormed to my bed where I lay facedown.
I felt him get on my bed a lay down next to me. I didn't move.
"You know what's funny? The stars. They live for billions of years and have seen things any living creature could never imagine. Then they just die. They just burn out and die…all of their secrets go with them."
I didn't respond.
"I guess I like to think of myself like a star. Not the living years or knowing things unknown to anything but they are very lonely. One star is zillions of light years away from another. They are just drifting alone."
I moved my head to look at him. He was looking intently at me.
"My parents died when I was very young and the Shadow Warriors raised me. Even though they were always there…that didn't keep me company. Then when I was sixteen I saw you. I had been in the dark so long; I wanted to see what was on the brighter side of the moon. Then I found your palace and you were standing on the balcony looking at the Earth. That's when I fell in love with you. You were so beautiful and so…bright. The way your hair and your skin glowed and your eyes sparkled, it gave me butterflies," he said and he reached out and stroked my cheek. "I still feel that way about you."
I just stared at him for a long time. I let him touch my cheek even though his hands felt cold and rough.
"What happened to your hands?" he asked and took my bloody hands.
"Glass shards," I said quietly.
He pulled me up and off of the bed to the bathroom. He took out a washcloth and ran it under the hot water. Then he started to dab my hands.
I winced from the stinging pain but he was careful to be gentle. Then he placed his hand over mine and mumbled something I didn't understand. When he pulled it hand away my cuts were gone. I was completely healed.
I looked at my hand and turned it over in awe.
I opened my mouth to ask how but he stopped me and smiled, "It doesn't matter."
Then he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. I didn't stop him. He was gentle and caring with his kiss.
Then he walked towards the door and left my bedroom.
I stood in the bathroom for a long time then I looked back down at my hand. There really wasn't a scratch on it.
Now three weeks had passed. I had actually warmed up to Keir. He was much more kinder and he never made me do anything I didn't want to again.
I was sitting in the armchair talking to Keir who was sitting in the other armchair across from it.
"So tell me about your family," he said one day.
"Well, I have my Mamma and Papa and my little brother Shingo," I said and I felt my heart twinge. I missed them dearly. I wondered what lie my friends had made up to tell them where I was.
"They aren't your birth family though are they?" he asked.
I nodded, "When Queen Beryl attacked the Moon Kingdom she killed me and the other Senshi. My mother sacrificed herself and used the silver crystal to have us all reborn on the earth in a new life. My new mother carried me and gave birth to me."
"That's truly interesting. Your mother must have been a much more honorable person than I thought," he said.
I nodded, "Yes she was truly wonderful." I thought about my new Mother again. She loved me so much and I never truly appreciated her. She took care of me when I was sick or had an injury, she cooked for me, cleaned the house, loved me. She was always there to give advice too. She helped me with girl stuff too like boys and periods.
Suddenly I froze and my thoughts whirred. I thought about the date when I was captured. Then I added the three weeks.
"Usagi?" asked Keir.
I held up a finger and I stood up and paced as I thought. Then I stopped and froze.
"Usagi?" asked Keir again and he stood as well.
"I'm late," I said.
"What?" he asked.
"I-I'm late," I repeated and I felt something in my throat. I realized I was about to throw up and I ran into the bathroom and threw up into the toilet.
"Usagi are you ok?" asked Keir.
After I was done I held a hand to my mouth and sat down. I slowly started to realize what was happening…and as if on cue I felt something move inside of me.