Author: Michmak

Summary: The two faces of Gil Grissom

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. I just like to write about 'em.

SPOILERS: If anything in this piece surprises you, you don't watch CSI enough!

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It happened with such subtleness, he had been taken by surprise. For most of his adult life, he had been "Gris" or "Grissom", but now the "Gil" in him was starting to emerge.

"Gris" was scientific, unattached, analytical and totally in control of his words and his emotions.

"Gil" was a man who still missed his mother, saw beauty is a simple smile, and had an emotional depth to him that hadn't been explored since.well, since forever.

Every day, with every glance from Sara, each casual brush of arms and hands, the Gil in him surfaced a little more.

Gris was scared. He had forgotten what it felt like to be Gil. He had actually convinced himself that perhaps Gil was gone for good, and that it was better this way. As Gris, he was impervious to hurt. He could lock himself in his office, and study his bugs. He could do his experiments and race his beetles, and not worry about growing old alone. Gris didn't need anyone.

But lately, Gil had been making his presence known. It had started the first time he had leaned over Sara to point something out to her at a crime scene, and noticed the fresh scent of her hair. The smell of her shampoo had branded itself in his brain, and Gil had begun to stir.

Sure, Gris could analyze the scent, could break down the chemical compounds used to create the shampoo, could probably figure out exactly what brand she used without having to ask her. Gris could come up with a perfectly feasible, scientific reason as to why he noticed her scent. Gil, however, didn't care about these things. Gil simply thought "So this is what she smells like." And for Gil, that particular blend of sandalwood and ylang- ylang would forever be 'Sara' in his brain, and that was that.

Gil noticed things he had no right noticing. He noticed when she looked tired. His heart leapt at her smile. The sound of her voice soothed him. And the more Gil noticed, the more nervous Gris became.

Gris had tried to tamp Gil down by staying away from her; assigning her to work on cases with Nicky, Warwick and Catherine. He thought he had everything under control, until the day she came to him and told him she was leaving.

Gris had tried to convince her to stay, using logic: "The lab needs you." Inside him, Gil was screaming "I need you!" Sara refused to stay for Gris, but Gil sent her a plant. Sara stayed.

A few shifts later, at a crime scene, Gil had actually spoken. Sara had asked him, bitterly, when he had become interested in beauty. Gris would have ignored the question, but Gil replied, "Since I met you."

Gris wasn't used to giving up. He was tenacious. But even he knew when he was beaten. Sara had come to his office just a short while ago. Gris had been contemplating the Gil in him when Big-Mouth Billy Bass had started singing."take me to the river.drop me in the water.."

He had looked up at her, standing just inside his doorway, smiling at him. Her smile washed over him like a benediction.

"Slow night, eh Gris? I just wanted to see if you'd like to go for a walk with me."

His response was quick and decisive. "Sure. And Sara, call me Gil."



Author's note: I wrote this little piece several weeks ago, but hadn't posted it yet. For those of you hankering for a G/S piece, this little one is all I can offer at the moment. Please R&R. I like working on long pieces, but the shorter ficlets are also enjoyable! And if you have a minute, please read "METHOD ACTING" and "SUPERHEROES" (shameless plug) I need some more feedback on them. Thanks - Michelle