Warnings: Yaoi/romance and character death.

Pairing: Shiro(saki) x Ichigo

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I can feel him, every day. He's scratching at invisible walls, walls that only exist within my mind, walls that I put up to hide him from my family and friends, to try and pretend that I'm not a monster... But I can't hide the truth that he's there.


He constantly calls my name and I wince with fear from his lust filled voice.

He and I are both waiting for the day that we become whole. We're both waiting for my fear to vanish and we're both waiting for my answer.

His laugh echoes through my head; it's the perfect example of a demon's. I wait with fear for the scratching to start up again. He's getting better at it too. In the beginning he could just barely reach the walls, but now his black fingernails can easily tear open cracks.

'Come on Ichigo!'

So many times I've avoided conversation. So many times I've turned my back on the hollow and have walked away. If I granted him freedom, if I let those walls come down, would I ever recover from the damage it could cause?

'Your friends don't want ya.'

I know this already.

'If they did, why would they willin'ly help the Seireitei in this mission?'

This is the hundredth time he's tried this.

'Ya're trapped an' ya're all alone.'

"But I'm not alone," I wanted to yell, "I still have you and Zangetsu!" But if I said that, I'd become weak.

'Rukia was the one that led ya here. Then Sado, Uryu an' Orihime blocked your exits.' Another cackle escaped him. I could see his pasty white smirk appear through a hole in the wall. 'All of the captains fought against ya until all your Shinigami powers were exhausted. That's when the lieutenants came in an' pinned ya to the floor. After everyone left, ya just sat here, all alone, talkin' to me.'

I could almost feel myself going insane. The mental image came to mind of him shoving through my wall. The more I listened, the stronger he became and the closer he moved towards me, the more I wanted to listen. Then I felt it, his warm hand caressing my cheek and the warmth of another flowing into me. The wall had long since shattered.

'I knew ya'd listen to me.' His other hand slithered down my arm while the first continued to sinfully play with my cheek. The orange in his eyes seemed exceptionally hungry. His voice had clearly been holding back.

'What do you want from me?' That was obviously a stupid question considering what he was doing. A more important question would have been, why?

'Ya're so naïve Ichigo, honestly.' His voice… it was getting playful.

I swallowed, trying to hide my fear. I went to take a step back, but was stopped by the lack of response coming from my body. I started to panic, what else would I do? Well, maybe I could keep talking to him, at least until I found a way out of this situation.

I could feel his thumb pressed against my palm as he brought my hand to his lips. I flinched and turned away as his hot breath light brushed my frost bitten skin. Despite the fact that the sensation I felt was warm, I shivered. Pins and needles crawled up my spin and seemed to reawaken my ability to move, but only long enough for me shudder.

This made him laugh. My physical torture was amusing my hollow. I guess it was logical though. If my time with Rukia hadn't confirmed that, then this very moment surely did.

'Ya know, without your powers ya're basically just an empty shell waitin' for somethin' else to take control. So that means, if ya stay here long enough, we'll switch roles.'

I didn't like the sound of that.

'In fact, we kinda already have.' There was a pause, before he chuckled and continued. 'You'll become the horse… An' I'll be tha king.'

'That'll never happen!' I was shouting empty threats here. I couldn't fight him, I wouldn't even last a minute.

'I love it when ya fight back, makes things more interestin'.' He laughed again. God I wish he'd stop with that laugh! I've heard a million times and it got old at around twenty.

I couldn't help the gasp that escaped my lips a few seconds later. While we were talking he had apparently slipped behind me and had managed to shove his hand underneath my shihakusho. His white hands burned my skin and on top of that he had decided to start caressing it. I was ready to scream at him, to tell him to get the fuck away, but I couldn't bring myself to say any of those words. It had been eight years, eight fucking years since someone had even held my hand.

I could feel his breath on my ear now. He was magnificently close and I… I liked it. No, scratch that, I loved it. I would have drifted to sleep from pure pleasure if it weren't for the sudden jolt of pain that screamed throughout my entire body. He had bitten my neck. Again, I couldn't stop myself from making a noise. I let out a cry of pain, but even my own voice had betrayed me and it came out louder than I had wanted it to be.

Something wet, feeling remotely like tongue, slid across my neck. I shuddered again as it applied pressure on the sore spot, the spot that was currently bleeding.

'Didn't I say "I knew ya'd listen to me"? I won't hurt ya like they did Ichigo. I won't leave ya in a place full of putrefaction.'

I nodded. His hands were both now working to leave me shirt less, but I no longer cared. I just needed him, I just needed to listen to him, follow what he said. He was right, he'd become the king and I'd carry him around, because that would make us flawless.

By the time I finished my thought, he had my shirt on the floor and nothing but a string and some black fabric separated me from blatancy. His black nails clawed at my skin causing my cold blood to pour down my stomach. He took a few seconds to admire my screams all while his demonic smirk grew.

As soon as the pain reduced itself to a few tiny stings every so often, he shoved me to the ground but at least had the decency to break the fall with a quick catch.

'Tell me…' he whispered. His hand slowly slide up the back of my head and intertwined with my mop of hair. 'Who am I?' It was as though he was daring me to say the wrong answer, as though he deliberately wanted me to be incorrect so that he could answer for me, or perhaps he simply was going to do that anyways?

'You always say that you don't have a name,' I replied, hoping to leave him with something he didn't expect. 'You said that you didn't have a name, you've also said that you're my instincts. But I think you need a real name, because just going around without one seems pointless.'

He smiled, seemingly enjoying my answer. 'Well then,' he countered, 'What would ya call me?'


He smirk widened much further than it should have been able to. Rather than saying yes, his hand forcibly shoved my head towards his. Our lips met in a furious clash of hot and cold. His lips were hot, scorching my terribly cold skin. His tongue easily slipped into my mouth, mainly because of his dominant spirit but also because I practically begged him to. It played around until he torturously pulled back, making sure that I would always want more. Well, he was indeed an expert. Though I'm sure he also pulled away so that I would be able to breathe. I wasn't so sure about him, but I was panting afterwards.

'Shiro,' I repeated, testing the name. I could feel his contentment of the name more than his face chose to reveal. I indeed smiled on the inside, but my body was way too weak to preform anything more than starring.

'Rest now, Ichigo. When ya wake up, I'll get you the fuckin' hell outta here.'

My eyes involuntarily closed. My head fell to the slide and rested on his arm. I could feel him shift his weight from on me to beside as he lay down. His breath blew through my hair and his arm shifted to provide me with more of a pillow. His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer, making me warmer, making me feel more alive. Nothing felt better than this, absolutely nothing.