Disclaimer: This entire world belongs to C.S. Lewis I own nothing.

Susan's Redemption

My name is Susan Pevensie. It wasn't always that though, people had once upon a time called me Queen Susan the Gentle. I had sat upon the throne of Cair Paravel in Narnia, the four of us - the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve. There had been King Edmund the Just, Queen Lucy the Valiant and Peter - High King Peter the Magnificent. We were loved, adored, looked up to - we had ruled Narnia justly and brought about the Golden Age of Narnia.

But that was a very long time ago, too long ago. Narnia is only a glimmer in my mind now, each time I think of it I seem to remember less and less about it, it's like pondering a dream after waking up - at first you remember it clearly then only bits and pieces and then it starts slipping away until all you are left with are a few snap-shots and a feeling.

I still remember the first time I went to Narnia though; it was wonderful, so beautiful and magical - despite that nasty business with the White Witch. It had been an age we had spent there, Finchley was very distant in my mind then, it was as if I had lived my whole life in Narnia and had never stepped foot in London. But then we had to return. It had been hard, but at least in my heart I knew I'd be able to go back one day, now I didn't even have that.

I can feel those words still ringing in my ears, those words Aslan had said so long ago on that fateful day. Words which told me I'd never return to Narnia.

My heart aches every time I think of going back there, knowing I never can. I'll never see the magical creatures there or see the mind-blowing sunsets from my seat on the throne. Or never see those I care about, those whom I love...

Caspian.

My heart thumps painfully in my chest. I will never look in to his eyes again, or see his beautiful smile, or run my fingers through his dark silken tresses.

I feel more alone now than ever. Everyone is gone - dead.

I thought I was the mature one, the sensible one, I had laughed at my siblings when they had spoke to me of Narnia. They were so firm in their beliefs yet I had passed it off as 'childish fantasies and games' how I wish I could take back those words now.

In my heart I know they are safe and in Narnia, they belong there after all. That horrible day of the crash made me realise that I was living in a bubble, there is more to life than lipstick and invitations.

I was wrong.

I guess in my heart and mind, if I search deeply enough, I did know Narnia was real but didn't want to accept the fact that I would never return there.

Now, with all the fibre of my being I wish I can go back there. I remember Aslan once saying that: "Once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen of Narnia." Hear my call Aslan, I know who I am now, please let me go back.

I am Queen Susan the Gentle.