They sat a while looking at the shadows on their wall move as the night went on and their fire beginning to go out. Castle hadn't moved allowing Kate to tire on his shoulder. She wanted to sleep, being that she hadn't been doing much of that for the past three months, but she had the conversation sitting on her mind. She wanted to talk about it. Talk about the possibilities of ever having another child. And if she were to wait – bring it up on a different day, a different time – she may talk herself out of it. Now, with them calm, sitting down, and Nora happy and asleep, it was the right time. She pushed herself off his shoulder, making it the first time that he moved on the couch in a while.
"You okay?" he asked her.
"Yea. Rick, I have to talk to you about something."
He sat up on the couch, making his body more clear – making him seem a more participatory part in this discussion.
"What? Are you okay?"
"Yea, I'm – I'm fine," she said, scooting closer, a hand on his knee.
"I want to talk about Nora."
"Kate, she's fine –"
"No, I get that – I get it, I do – I want to talk about…"
She pauses, briefly.
"I want to talk about the possibility – the chances – of her – having – of her having a sibling."
Castle, not as surprised as he thought he would be, sits up further, puts his hands in his head, visibly stressed by the idea.
"Kate, you know I want to give you everything. Nothing more would make me happy than to have another child. But, Kate. We just had her –"
"Not now! Oh God, not now. I was just saying that in the future, I want to know where we stand on this. I can't be kept in this – this limbo – of not knowing where we both want to go with our future, the three of us."
Castle looked at her. Her passion with the subject was in her eyes.
"Well, we need to take everything into consideration, but, if it's something that you certainty want to do, and understand everything, then I will support you in – everything. I will stand by and help, of course. I want children. I want kids. I love kids. And kids with you – that's incredible. But, I can't ask you to go through this all over again. With Nora, and with Aiden, it was hard. Hard on me. Hard on you. It was a long time."
"I get that. And, if we talk to the doctor, and we talk to each other, and we keep nothing secret, then I think we can do it. But, if it seems like a bad idea – to the doctor, or to you – then we won't do it. There's more than one way to have a child."
Castle smiled, knowing that he would be okay with all of this.
"But, Rick, I want you to know, that obviously this is as much of your child as it is mine. It's just going to be in my body. So, if you don't want to go through it, for the health risks, for my health risks, I want to hear that. I want to hear your opinion. Don't just agree with it because you think it will make me happy. I won't – I won't do it if it scares you."
He moves closer, his hands in her hands.
"Kate, it will always scare me. You going out with Nora – walking down the street – that will scare me. You and me with Nora in a park will scare me. Alexis moving away and having her not here, with me, all the time – that scares me. You walking into work scares me. Everything is going to scare me. That's not going to stop me from furthering my life with you."
He stops, looks at her hands.
"But, if you want to carry another child, then we can do that. If we find out that Nora and Aiden were two separate instances and Aiden was unique to his birth and Nora was unique to hers and a third baby would be unique as well, then why not? Let's try again. But, if we find out that we need to – to not have a baby this way, then we can use a surrogate. We – we can adopt. We can do whatever it is we need to do to give you your dream and to have my dream become even more than I expected."
Kate smiled, his hands wrapped in hers.
"Thank you," she says softly.
She was worried that he wouldn't see the big picture. The idea of going through another thing like this just to give her what her future looked like in her head – a family. A bigger family.
He hugs her, pulls her deeper into the couch.
Short chapter - and it's in response to chapter 14. ONCE AGAIN, sorry for keeping everyone waiting. This story has one or two more - let me know if you want a third installment.
I'm on twitter - meggh11
As for why this is late, I'm still studying abroad in London! It's almost complete - I'll be leaving in May. Thank you for sticking with me. I'll answer everything through twitter. I love that you all are still reading. I still think about updating all the time, but between classes, and I am a staff writer for - a television based website - I'm constantly having to push this to the back burner.
Thank you, once more!