An: sorry guys, I'm really not following this story, I don't even remember what happened in the previous chapters, let's just say this story didn't work out how I wanted but I also don't want to abandon it so I will just try to finish it quick and painless.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, this is fanfiction.

.Leading Astray.

It was getting better the next day, it was still damp and messy but they were making it out of the swamp. Itachi was delighted, he wouldn't show it but he really, really did not want to spend another night in a mosquito filled puddle, cold and wet and listening to never-ending 'Jashin damn, Jashin fuck, Jashin this and Jashin that.'

There were no more incidents, whoever the people following them were it seemed that there was no more or if it had been just a decoy to put them at ease in that case too there were no incidents. Itachi couldn't keep using Sharingan to scan the surroundings that would be too tiring for him.

But didn't matter. If there were still ninjas following them then Itachi could use all the stealth in the world it still wouldn't hide them.


That was the reason... Hidan. Each word was spat out with such hate and annoyance, it was really amazing for Itachi. That man was one hundred percent emotion and all of them were bad and hateful.

Come the evening they found themselves by a small stream scrapped, dirty and sweaty and in Itachi's case very tired, he couldn't keep his eyes open and his body felt like it is filled with stones. Of course if need be he could still go on and if need would arise he would still be capable to put down anyone, but he was so tired.

When this would be done he would ask the leader what he did so bad to deserve this punishment with the wacko beside him.

Though he was getting used to it, last night he didn't get any sleep mostly because he just didn't trust the silver haired zealot but he had managed to close and rest his eyes for short periods of time. And when the morning came he once more got to watch the strange man wake up in that hellish way, murmuring those words under the breath.

Tonight Itachi would stay awake too, he just hoped Hidan would fall asleep soon enough so he could rest.

He was sitting on a stone by the water, resting before he would get himself and his clothes clean in the stream, Hidan meanwhile was already ripping the black Akatsuki cloak off and threw it on the ground the scythe landing on it the next moment, followed by the strange pike and Hidan's pants.

Itachi looked away... his mistake because there was a great splash and then he was wet all over and Hidan was laughing that maniacal killer-laugh.

"Come here Uchiha, the water is niiiice!"

Itachi scoffed, it was impossible to keep calm. Hidan was such a great ninja! Really, it was such a good idea for both of them to go in the water leaving their weapons aside...seriously was the man just refusing to use brain or there was none.

Hidan dived underwater then and Itachi used the moment to discretely wipe the water off of his face, grimacing when it just got worse since the sleeves of his cloak were all muddy, he did feel gross and he did want to get in the water, but he would do what was right, one of them had to.

"Hey Uchiha, make fire, I caught us dinner!"

Itachi looked and really the man was holding two fishes above the water, grinning like a child and cursing like the devil when one of them tried to escape and almost managed.

Hidan was an odd man, at times almost naïve and at the same time there was nothing innocent.

The fish was thrown on the shore where they flapped around.

When Itachi didn't move a muscle, Hidan grumbled at him and got out of water, once more Itachi averted his eyes elsewhere, it wasn't easy because Hidan was killing the fish and still acting like a damn kid, gutting them with passion while naked...savage.

Since Hidan was so busy with the now lifeless dinner he slipped out of his clothes, he didn't know about Hidan but he was safe enough even without his weapons, his greatest weapon was always with him anyway.

The water really was nice, it was warm and it was soothing his sore muscles and the cuts on his skin, it was harder to get the mud out of his long hair and it took a good while but when he was finished he felt so much better.

Getting out of the water was a bit hard though, Hidan had apparently cooked the fish while he was busy with his hair and the smell of real food was nice, it was making him salivate but the fact that the man was still naked and standing by the shore holding the fishes on two sticks and waiting for him to get out...

That really bothered him, he didn't even know how to act and where to put his eyes, there was no way he could keep them off from the man while Hidan was obviously showing least it seemed like showing off. Alright, Itachi would admit that it was a nice body, there were no flaws, it was all lean muscles and...and...

And Hidan was also nicely endowed, blinking Itachi trained his eyes on the man's face, wanting to punch that grin off of it.

"I'm not done yet."

"Oh c'mon you're sparkling clean, let's eat."

Itachi was standing in the water reaching to his waist and when Hidan still grinning turned away placing the fish on some leaves he grabbed his clothes from the shore dunking them in the water, he wouldn't walk around naked with that savage around, he simply wouldn't if need be he would blow his clothes dry with fire.

He ended up doing just that, maybe it was waste of energy since he was already tired but he didn't mind, his tiredness was more physical, his chakra was fine.

He just didn't expect to receive Hidan's wet cloak right in his face when he returned by the fire dry, clean and dressed.

"Do the same with mine! I'm freezing my ass off here."

Itachi didn't want to but then again if he wouldn't he would have to eat while trying not to look at the naked man-bits, so he did.

Both dry and dressed they sat by the fire, it was already dark and they kept the fire small, more smoke than flames but it kept them warm for now.

Itachi was sceptical, he wasn't really one for fish but this was something else, the food was needed and it was hot and cooked and... it was tasty.

Surprised he looked at the man sitting across from him, Hidan was watching him and giving him the childish grin again, Itachi realised that Hidan had understood his silent question by his reaction and by the way he was munching down the fish right now.

"I keep this with me..." Hidan proudly announced shaking a little pouch at his nose. "Seasoning, because fuck tasteless food on missions!"

Itachi didn't answer, he was too busy chewing on the deliciousness and hoping that it really was spices in the pouch and not poison.

He usually lived off of soldier pills when he was on missions and the rare times when Kisame caught something and then cooked it, it tasted pretty bad. Pretty bad not like badly cooked meal but pretty bad like he would be chewing a shoe sole.

"We will reach the town tomorrow."

"What's the plan?" Hidan didn't really seem interested, the man was done with the food, the violet eyes barely open, visibly satisfied.

And Itachi was pretty much the same, he really tried not to show it but this had been great, to get clean and then the food and now the warmth from the fire, he could just lay down and sleep soundly till dawn.

"We look around first, get in an inn and blend in, there will be a celebration, we will use it to get what we need and disappear before anyone raises the alarm." He was actually slurring the words and he was damn sure Hidan wasn't listening to him anyway.

Hidan had already laid down on the back now murmuring something about keeping watch and how he didn't give a fuck right now.

Oddly enough Itachi didn't give a fuck either, too tired he scooted to his side, laying down with his arm under his head and closed his eyes, he was sleeping before he even realised it.

Itachi's dreams usually were messy and jerky, the blood and screams would never leave him, he knew that but he would appreciate it staying out of his dreams at least. The dreams were the reason why he woke up grumpy.

But strangely, this night had been free of any nightmares, he dint remember anything and for him waking up and actually feeling rested was a rare feeling.

Hidan was up before him, all packed and ready to go, agitated. That was another surprise.

Itachi could only wonder what Hidan was up to, why the anxiousness, he believed it was the close chance to kill. The mission didn't require it and Itachi wouldn't kill unless there was a necessity, now it seemed that Hidan could be the type to cause that necessity.

They headed out as soon as Itachi was done washing his face in the stream, Itachi's steps wide, their pace fast. Hidan beside him not talking for a change, the man was very attentive of the surroundings though, Itachi could see the violet eyes scrutinizing the landscape.

The walk was rather boring that day, there was nothing to see except when it was closer to evening and they were getting closer to the town, a few farms appeared and they silently passed few strangers.

The fact that Pein didn't want any victims Itachi had realised when he read the mission instructions, because it wasn't often that they had to leave the Akatsuki cloaks behind, usually they were more like flaunting the fact that they belonged to Akatsuki, raise the cruel fame.

But this time it wouldn't do even if people that were ninjas wouldn't really be aware of the red clouded clothes but the town guards would surely recognize them.

So when they could see the outlines of the town Itachi guided them both for some bushes where he rather unwillingly got out of his cloak, it was hot wearing it and it was oversized but Itachi was so used to it, he liked how it hid him so parting from it wasn't improving his mood, he sort of felt naked in his simple pants and the black shirt...really naked.

Hidan on the other hand looked rather happy about the change, grinning the man took the cloak off and handed it to Itachi along with the Akatsuki ring.

"Say Itachi...if we are in disguise it means... uhh we want everyone to believe we are just...common citizens, yes?"

"Yes." Itachi replied never looking at Hidan, he was making sure their belongings would still be here when they came back for them, placing simple wards and traps.

"You think they won't find my scythe a bit...odd?"

Damn... Itachi hadn't really thought about it, it was easy to hide a kunai in his pants but that huge scythe was something entirely else. Still crouching Itachi scratched his cheek. "You will have to leave it here."

"No...fuck you, I won't just leave it lying here!"


"Nooo! I said no! Fuck you and fuck your leader and fuck your stupid Akatsuki, and fuck this mission. I'm not leaving it behind!"

The childish Hidan was back, all that was missing was stomping the foot on the ground, but instead of that Hidan crossed the arms on the chest and if Itachi wasn't delusional the man was actually pouting a bit.

"You can keep that other weapon, seeing how you treat it like a jewel it is more important for you anyway, besides remember how I said that we would just blend in at first, if that is so important we will come and get it when the time comes."

Hidan's grey eyebrows were twitching like mad, it was sort of funny because it seemed the man knew he was being reasonable but still Hidan looked so very displeased.

"Fine, but you better make sure some kid doesn't find it and if it's not here when we come back-... "

Itachi gave Hidan a dark glare and to his surprise this time the man actually stopped talking for a split second taking in his eyes and face, a grin appearing on the handsome features and Itachi really felt awkward since he didn't have his cloak that would cover most of his face.

"You can save that speech, I am sure you would hunt down your precious weapon, stop whining."

Going for the town Itachi was...sceptical about their success. He looked fine, his head protector was in his pocket and all and all he could be considered harmless, that is as long as he would keep his eyes down, which meant he couldn't talk to people but he would manage, he was used to being careful with his Sharingan.

Hidan was another case, the man had no shirt, with bare chest the zealot was proudly walking beside him and when they got on the busy town streets Itachi with mortification realised that Hidan drew in attention like a celebrity. The women were smiling at the man, men were looking at him with curiosity and envy...

And it made Itachi feel even more awkward, when he was with Kisame, his partner got all the odd stares but mostly they were the bad kind and Itachi was the one receiving the smiles Hidan right now was receiving, but that wasn't the point...with Kisame Itachi could keep in the shadow, but Hidan...

"We need to get you a shirt." He was convinced that it would help greatly, but Hidan wasn't listening to him, playing with the pendant on the bare chest Hidan was all too busy offering a naughty grin to a pretty woman standing behind an apple stand.

Itachi's eyebrow twitched and without a word he pulled Hidan along by the wrist, going straight for the stands with clothes.

"Pick a simple shirt."

"I don't like shirts, Uchiha...they are itchy."

If Itachi could he would nicely go by the grey building not so far from them and he would bang his head on the wall, nice and would help, no doubt!

"Don't say my name, retard!" with his teeth gritted he hoped no one heard.

Itachi picked up a grey simple shirt, paid the stupidly smiling woman and left, still pulling Hidan along like a child.

Itachi turned in an abandoned alley and pressed the shirt in Hidan hands.

Huffing and puffing Hidan put it on. "Is that better?"

"Yes, now take this money, you will have to rent a room it is better if I don't interact with anyone too much, people tend to recognize me."

Hidan took the money grinning in his face. "Yeah I bet they do." Itachi didn't know what Hidan meant with that but he didn't have the chance to ask, Hidan was already strolling out of the alley looking around for an inn.

There were many of those around and they picked the one who looked too bad for rich people and tolerable enough so it wouldn't be filled with drunks and whores.

In the inn Hidan asked the owner questions till it turned into a rather lively chatting, too lively. Itachi patiently stood beside until he couldn't stand it anymore, he started to step on Hidan's feet, keeping his head down had its disadvantages and Itachi was so furious when he heard a 'nice couple' coming from a lady sitting at the furious.

He looked nothing like a girl damn it, he had muscles and he walked like a guy, definitely...people had problems...definitely.

And Hidan was a bastard, reacting in a completely wrong way at that comment, barking out a laugh drawing everyone's attention and patting him on the back as if in a soothing way. It would have worked better if not the laugh.

When they got to the room Itachi was fuming with anger. He didn't even take a look at their room he just turned to Hidan and pushed the man in the chest hard. "We're not supposed to draw attention you-...what is wrong with you?"

Ignored, that's what Hidan did...ignored him completely, pushing past him the man whistled and when Itachi turned to shout and he hadn't yelled at anyone in a very long time, he remained standing there with his jaw slack.

The whistle was meant for the double bed in the middle of the room.

Hidan chuckled awkwardly scratching the back of his head and glancing at him before shrugging. "I guess they misunderstood me at the reception, I'm damn sure I asked for two beds, not double...or maybe I didn't...hmm."

"You will sleep on the floor!"

"Oh c'mon Uchiha it was just a mistake! The bed is huge, we don't even have to touch...unless you want to of course."

Turning on his heel Itachi walked for the door on his right hoping that it was the bathroom, thankfully it really was the bathroom, he banged the door shut and stood by the little sink, looking in the mirror. His cheeks were pinkish, he hated it.

Hidan was insufferable, always grinning like that, very unsettling.

When he returned in the room Hidan was not there, Itachi was alerted at first but decided that if he couldn't trust at least some bit they were bound to fail, so still worried but determined he decided to take a shower to wash away the road dust, his hair would appreciate shampoo.

His shower was quick even if he really enjoyed the hot water, the robes the inn offered were slightly sketchy looking but they were clean so Itachi picked up the blue coloured one and put it on. He would change back in his clothes when his hair would be dry, but for now it would have to do and if he's lucky Hidan wouldn't return till then.

But he wasn't that lucky, as soon as he entered the room with the bed Hidan without knocking entered the room carrying plates with food.

Oh... it made sense. Food was actually a very good idea. And maybe Hidan wasn't such a bastard in the end because there was not a single comment, not a tease about his attire or anything, the man just sat down and passed him a plate.

They had to sit on the bed since there was no table, but Itachi didn't mind, he got comfortable in a half lotus position on the edge of the bed and balanced the plate with food on his lap, Hidan chose to sit on the floor with the back against the bed and somehow Itachi realised that the silence was comfortable as they ate.

"The guards are well trained here, but they're soldiers not ninjas."

Itachi nodded, it was mentioned in the mission description but he was still curious about how Hidan already managed to snoop around.

"And the celebration you mentioned is actually just the rich snobbish people feasting because of some heathen god they worship, they wear funny things then, I think it will be easy to slip in especially considering the amount of alcohol that is ordered for the feast."

"Who told you this?"

"The chef, the same that cooked your meal, she's damn talkative and she is responsible for the food and stuff for the celebration."

Maybe the way Hidan drew attention was a good thing after all. Itachi couldn't believe it though, looking at Hidan...did the man really seemed trustworthy to people or was it the broad open grin that lured them in, Itachi didn't know but he was grateful for the bits of information.

"I guess we will have to get some funny costumes then."



An: your comments are precious :)