Disclaimer: Guys I'm pretty sure if we owned FMA we would all still be writing fanfics for it anyway. But nooo, I just own Arlina.

It's SilentFrenchNight's birthday tomorrow! HAAAAAAAPPY BIIIIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAY TO YOOOOOU! Hope you have an amazing birthday tomorrow and all your dreams come true! *FIREWORKS!*

It's also one of my bifflecake's birthday on Thursday, and we're... going to a Magic tournament this weekend. Please tell me I'm not the only one who plays Magic, guys. I've painted my nails blue and red in support of my guild. The hobby shop that's holding this tournament is in this sketchy building in the middle of nowhere called Money G's and whenever we talk about it, we're suddenly not nerds who play card games. "Gotta call Money G's and see what time it's going down." HA.

So legit, my roommate NoticeMeWitherySenpai told me she's writing a Vampire Diaries fanfic. When I asked her what it was about she said "You wake up in TVD and teach Damon about true love." I thought she was kidding SHE IS NOT KIDDING SHE THREW ME INTO A TV SHOW WITH A VAMPIRE WHO WILL KILL ME. Please pray for my fictional self! I'm so embarrassed. I think she's punishing me for spending the electric bill money.


I should have made a list of things I'd never, ever, do, because I'm like ninety percent sure I'd be crossing off the entire list by now. Time travel into a Final Fantasy world? Check. Sleep in the same bed as boys? Check. Share my toothbrush? Check. Find a father? Check. Steal and wear the dresses of a dead girl whose sister I've just caused the arrest of? DOUBLE CHECK!

Alphonse was standing in front of me, holding up another one of Isabella's dead sister's dresses and I was staring back at him, flatly. The dress was pretty, a grayish blue color and would probably fall just below my knees. It had a second layer of white skirting around the hem of the dress. It had short sleeves, and a white Peter Pan collar that dipped down into a giant white bow. I'm sure I'd look so adorable in it, but like hell I was wearing it.

"I'm not stealing a dead girl's dress to wear, Fonz." I refused, hands on my hips. Alphonse gasped, lowering the dress. Edward scoffed next to me and impatiently ripped it from Alphonse's hands, stuffing it into my arms. I stared down at the offending article of clothing, feeling grossed out by touching it. Ew, dead people germs.

"You're wearing it." Edward said in his end of discussion voice which was just ridiculous. He couldn't make me wear it! "Call it even, she tried to kill you."

"No. Why can't I just stay in your clothes?" I demanded, tilting my chin upward. I'm pretty sure it's a lot of bad luck to steal dead people's clothes! Edward's golden eyes narrowed at me. "I look better in this than you do." I looked stunning dressed up like the Fullmetal Alchemist! Much cooler than Edward!

"Either wear the new dress, or the one I'm in!" Edward leaned into my personal space, snatching the sleeve of his red coat and tugging. I tugged back, slapping at his stupid robot hand. No way! "You don't have the means to pull off my look! You look silly!"

"That's a shame, because I was just about to comment on how nice you look!" I threw the dress at Scooby who sat next to me, the dress like a wig on top of his head. He was a magnificent beast. "I'll sooner go naked! Do you want to see me naked, Ed? Huh? Is that it?"

"I'LL MAKE YOU STAY INSIDE AL!" Edward threatened, screeching back at me, his cheeks exploding into red. Ha! More points for me! "I bet you have some kind of sick Elric fetish! You want to be naked! When Al gets back into his body, you're not allowed to go near him! You've done so much damage already!"

My mouth fell open in shock. What the hell Edward?! What kind of crazy thing was that to say to me?! Elric fetish?! He wishes!

"You can never separate us!" Alphonse cried suddenly, grabbing me up and slamming me against Edward. I squeaked, squirming against Edward as Alphonse lifted us off the ground, hugging us to him. Oh God! "We're a team! You said!"

"Okay! Okay!" Edward agreed as I pressed my palms flat against his chest, trying to provide distance. Alphonse only hugged us tighter.

"Fonz!" I wheezed the same time Edward gave a strangled: "Al!"

"No! Say you'll wear the dress!" Alphonse cried dramatically, sounding so crestfallen I couldn't remember why I wasn't agreeing to wear it in the first place.

"Okay, I'll wear the dress!" I promised quickly, staring up at him guiltily.

"Great!" Alphonse gushed cheerfully, lowering Edward and I back to the ground. I staggered backwards, clearing my dizzy head.

Maybe Edward was right.

Maybe I was corrupting Alphonse.

Edward and I had Alphonse stand between us (Alphonse facing Edward, obviously) to act like a wall so we could, you know, take the clothes off without accidentally seeing each other. How the hell did I do this when I was messed up on The Mashed Potatoes? I was half way through bouncing up and down, kicking Edward's pants off when Alphonse said: "Um… Wouldn't it have been easier if Arlina switched into the dress alone in the room and then when she was done, you switched back into your clothes? Like she could've left them on the bed…"

Edward swore loudly and there was a loud VEERRPP sound, followed by him crashing into the ground. I burst into laughter, swaying and flailing, keeping myself upright as I kicked the pants off. They went flying. I didn't care. I bet Edward looked like an idiot, half in the dress, on the floor right now. Ha!

"Brother you ripped the dress!" Alphonse gasped like Edward had done something unspeakable. "That belonged to Isabella's late sister!"

"Shut up, Al! I didn't plan this out properly! You should have said something—"

"Don't you turn around, she's dressing!" Alphonse interrupted with a loud squeak and I, pulling the dress over my head, flailed in surprise, falling back into the suit.

"Ed don't look at me naked!" I shouted as Alphonse spun around, quickly catching me by the elbows before I fell to the ground. He easily lifted me back up and I attempted to wiggle into the dress, my cheeks forever on fire. Why was I always half naked around these guys?! Was that my destiny here? Nudity?

"I'M NOT!" Edward shrieked angrily as Alphonse gave a startled: "I'm not looking, I'm not looking!"

"I SET FIIIIIRE TO THE RAAAAIN!" The Doctor suddenly chimed pleasantly and I groaned. I had a feeling today was going to be really, really weird.


We were standing outside of the train that had just pulled into the little station, Edward and Alphonse picking at the bland selection of rolls at the food stand. Which I'm pretty sure was the same rolls from yesterday. Gross.

"No, Arlina, we can't." Havoc repeated softly, blue eyes sympathetic. "We're not bringing the dog with us." Okay sure. Scooby was coming with me, and nothing Havoc said was going to prevent that. I'd let him think he had control, though.

"His name is Scooby," I whispered, tears springing to my eyes as I bit down on my trembling lower lip. I inched closer to him, sniffling, and Havoc gaped at me, guilt instantly flooding his face. Ha, Havoc never could handle the tears! "Please, Jean? Please? Don't take him away from me. Please let me keep him. Please, please." I gave him my best tortured kitten look, letting the fake tears fall. "Please."

Havoc's stern expression broke and he tugged me into his chest, hugging me tightly and rubbing his cheek against the top of my head. "Aw, okay! I can't say no to you! Don't cry!" He cooed.

I smothered a grin. Sucker.

"What the hell?" Edward cried, clearly offended by my amazing persuasion abilities as I skipped back to Scooby, throwing my arms around his head. Scooby's tail wagged and I squealed. Edward shot me an irritated look, pointing accusingly at me. "She's faking it!"

"Bitches be jealous of my mad swagger," Doctor chimed pleasantly, and I think it was an unspoken rule for them to ignore my phone when it butted into conversations and made zero sense. Kind of true though. Edward was jealous. Though I bet if he ever pretended to cry, even Roy would give him whatever he wanted. Edward was really pretty like that.

"It's not nice to use the word bitches," I chastised the Doctor cheerfully. After all, my phone was my baby, and I needed to teach it proper mannerisms! "Don't be rude, Doctor. Now say hello to Scooby! He's the newest member of our family."

"I don't know a Scooby." My phone said cheerfully and I pressed it into Scooby's muzzle, as if Doctor were blind and needed to feel Scooby in order to see him.

"He's right here. Riiiight here. Say hello to Scooby, Doctor."

"There is nobody in your contacts named Scooby. Would you like to add a new contact?"

My lips tugged into a frown. Why was my phone being such an ass?

"No. Say hello to my dog, Doctor!" I demanded, smushing my phone against Scooby's face who didn't seem to even be fazed by it. We were going to be great, me and Scooby. I could already see it.

"I'm already seriously regretting this." Havoc said loudly behind me. Havoc had zero room to talk, he's already been owned twice today, and the count list was pretty big since I've met him a few days ago.

"Miss Mustang!"

Surprised, I turned just as Fair came skidding to a halt in front of me, panting and grinning widely. I blinked. Oh my God, he was coming to say goodbye to me? Fair was quickly skyrocketing to coolest person ever! A large grin slid across my face.

"Arlina," I corrected with a laugh as he straightened. "What's up, Fair?"

He pulled my hands into his, and brought them to his chest, flashing me a charming smile. "I insist you call me Zack!" Totally knew that, already, though. I should just start naming off Final Fantasy characters, pretending to be psychic. "I can't believe you'd leave without saying goodbye to your fiancé!" He pretended to look hurt. "I ran all the way just to see you off." Aw!

"Are you two really engaged?" Alphonse asked quietly, clanking over to stand next to me, the bag of rolls in his arms.

"Nope," Edward said with a roll of his eyes as Zack twirled me around. I giggled, like a girl. "They're just idiots."

"Is there something wrong?" Havoc asked, coming to stand by us, his voice curious. "While I can imagine you just running after us to make a bigger fool out of yourself," he wasn't allowed to talk to my pretend fiancé that way! "I doubt Hewley would have let you."

"Nothing can keep me from Miss Mustang!" Zack said playfully, looping an arm around my waist, my hand in his. I slid my hand onto his shoulder, grinning widely, as we waltzed in a circle around Scooby. "It's true love at first grenade!" I brightened.

This guy was freakin' awesome! Why couldn't he come with us?

"First the Elrics, and now you, too, Fair," Havoc said with mock sadness, shaking his head, causing Edward to immediately bristle. "The Mustangs strike again."

"First the Elrics nothing!" Edward growled, shaking his head, looking deeply offended that Havoc could ever dare suggest a thing. Edward totally loved me. "There is nothing going on!"

"You never had a chance against me, shorty." Zack said in a singsong voice, unknowingly throwing himself into the instant reaction button game. So many players now!

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE CAN'T DANCE IN FEAR HE'D BE TRAMBLED ON?!" Edward exploded, Alphonse easily catching the back of his hood before he had the chance to lunge at us. I bit back a laugh, amused, as Edward flailed. Zack didn't even bat an eyelash. "COME HERE, SAY IT AGAIN TO MY FACE AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT A SHORTY CAN DO! WE CAN WALTZ ALL OVER THE PLACE, FAIR!"

"Go shawty, it's your birthday!" The Doctor burst out loudly and I was pretty sure Edward just went rabid. Unnatural sounds were coming from his mouth, which might as well be foaming. "We gonna party like it's your birthday!"

"DOCTOR YOU DON'T EVEN EXIST I'M BIGGER THAN YOU!" Edward screamed, thrashing violently in Alphonse's hold and I hugged the phone to my chest, inching away from the flailing blonde.

"Doctor wasn't calling you short!" I shouted back at Edward. "S-H-A-W-T-Y! Doctor was calling you a pretty girl! You're a pretty girl, Ed!"

"When I pull up front you see the Benz on dubs. When I roll 20 deep, it's 20 knives in the club," the Doctor continued cheerfully. Oh. My. God. Doctor what are you doing? "Heard I fuck with Dre, now they wanna show me love. When you sell like Eminem, and the hoes, they wanna fuck. But homie ain't nuttin' changed hoes down, G's up."

Zack, Havoc, Alphonse and Edward stared at me like I was the one who was singing and not my voice activated phone! Though it sure did calm Edward down. Maybe that was the secret. Maybe I needed to sing various rap songs whenever he got pissed off. The music spoke to him, and soothed his inner beast.

"What was that?" Zack asked after a beat of a moment passed, a frown tilting across his face. Edward and Alphonse made startled noises and were suddenly on either side of me, both putting a hand over my mouth before I could speak. What the hell?

"Arlina's so funny!" Alphonse forced an awkward laugh.

"Says the craziest things!" Edward agreed with forced cheerfulness.

"Absolutely nothing strange happening here!"

They slowly dragged me backwards, Zack furrowing his brow staring after me in pure confusion as Havoc shook his head. Edward spun me around, he and Alphonse boxing me in against the side of the train. I stared back at them.

"What language was that?" Alphonse wondered curiously. Oh my God. My lips split into a wide grin as he and Edward stared at me, curiously. Like 50 Cent's words were something to be mystified over.

"The same language we're speaking now." I said with a small laugh. "It's a song. It's how people talk, kind of, where I'm from."

"What does it mean?" Edward asked and I frowned, shrugging my shoulders. Annoyance flickered across his face. "You listen to songs you don't know the meaning of?"

"Well… I don't typically listen to that music so I'm unfamiliar with that slang and…"

"Alright, guys," Havoc called, taking something from Zack. I bet it was a love note for Roy. "Let's go."

"Bye Zack. It was nice meeting you, come see me in Central!" I smiled warmly up at him, skipping back to him. I really liked Zack, we could totally become friends and run up and down the halls at Roy's work throwing grenades. Zack smiled crookedly, grasping my hands.

"My beautiful Miss Mustang, I will find a way to see you again." He leaning closer, wiggling his eyebrows. "How about a kiss goodbye?" Alphonse appeared next to me, putting his palm flat against Zack's face and pushing him to the side and I burst into laughter as he flailed, crashing into Havoc, sending the two to the ground. Jeez, Fonz!

"Okay bye!" Alphonse said cheerfully, taking my hand in his and leading me away. He sure was in a hurry to get back onto the train! Edward merely hopped over the two, put his hands in his pockets, and followed after us. "It was nice meeting you, sorry we'll never see you again! Let's go play Monopoly, Arli!"

I stared up at Alphonse with wide eyes, surprise sparking through me as a grin flew across my face, my heart happily fluttering. I smiled brightly up at him. "You have given me a nickname!" I gushed, bouncing on my heels giddily. I finally got a nickname from Alphonse! And I was ridiculously happy about it! I was pretty sure that meant I had a nickname from everyone now!

Havoc tried to be hilarious by telling me Scooby couldn't sit with us and had a special car he had to go to. I only laughed at him, because that wasn't happening. To prove how funny he was, I patted the spot next to me and like a good puppy, Scooby jumped up and sat down next to me. Havoc threw his hands up and moodily sat some seats away. Jeez, if it was going to be a competition of my love, Scooby was obviously going to win. Nobody argued with me when I announced Scooby was going to play Monopoly with us, and I wasn't sure if it was because they were getting used to me or because I've worn them all down that they were just mentally dead. It could really go either way at this point.

"Mm, she was definitely harnessing alchemy somehow," Alphonse was saying about Isabella as he moved his piece around the board.

I took the sketch from Edward, looking over the design curiously. Like everything else in this world, it came off as something, I swear to God I couldn't make this up, Final Fantasy-y and steampunkish. According to Alphonse's sketch, Isabella's alchemy harnessing machines were bulky, like giant machine-ish gloves that'd go up to the elbow, little knots on the ends that apparently had an alchemic-like blue electricity that constantly flowed between them. Alphonse said that it made a continuous hissing crackling sound.

"It might be like how the Doctor blocks it, only reverse…" Edward said thoughtfully, picking up the dice.

"It'd explain that it isn't just a fluke…" I murmured, handing Alphonse the sketch back, feeling like my thoughts were on the verge of a discovery. "There's something up with your alchemy, something more to it. If my phone can block it, and Isabella's invention can manipulate it…"

"She could have had something that imitates a philosopher's stone." Alphonse suggested as Edward swore, landing on a piece of property I owned. Ha, good!

"But where would she have gotten something like that?" Edward grumbled.

"Pay up, Elric, a hundred bucks."

"Yeah, yeah." Edward murmured, giving me two fifties. "It's not like you can just go out and get a philosopher's stone, so if something like that can just be replicated…"

"Maybe she got some inside help from a dark impending force." I said in a low mystical voice. "Like an unground cult. Like the illuminati!" I gushed, rolling the dice for Scooby who was drooling all over his money. Adorable!

"I don't know what that means." Edward said flatly, obviously annoyed that I was steering the conversation away from alchemy conspiracy talk to different conspiracy talk he didn't understand.

Time to educate these guys on useless information they don't need!

"The Illuminati was a secretive group founded by scientists to oppose the suffocating grip the church held, but now everyone just considers them to be this shadowy organization trying to overthrow the government and do supernatural evil things like time travel. I dunno." I wiggled out of the bench. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. You can roll for me and Scoob if I'm not back by then." I pet Scooby on the head gently. "Make sure they don't cheat."

"I never cheat!" Edward huffed as I pranced away, laughing.

There's one thing that I kind of hated about dresses. It made going to the bathroom awkward. Like was I supposed to just crouch over the toilet? Or did I need a friend to help hold up the dress while I peed? 'Cause I felt like if I sat normally the dress would somehow end up in the toilet. One of these days I was going to slip and fall in.

"There should be like these holders in the bathroom for dresses." I grumbled, brushing down my dress as I stood in front of the sink, staring at myself in the mirror.

"Just be yourself." The Doctor recited, it's advice making zero sense. That was my phone, though. Sometimes it totally felt like it was smart and able to hold a conversation, and other times it just proved that I wasn't clever enough to make something like that.

How depressing.

Whatever. I slid out of the bathroom and nearly collided face first into someone's chest.

"Jesus!" I hissed, startled, taking a stumbling step backwards. That was a close one.

Standing before me was someone I'd expect to find at a club. You know, black leather pants and matching vest with white fur around the collar and a pair of totally groovy shades. The guy made a humming sound, tilting his head down to look at me, a shark like grin sliding across his face.

"Actually, the name's Greed," he all but purred and I immediately assumed he was really high. I mean, greed? What kind of name is that?

"Whatever you say, Sloth," I attempted to duck under his arm but he moved, blocking my path.

"Greed," he repeated, the shark grin falling slightly, his expression tilting into a slightly put out one.

Okay.

"Yeah, but sloth is a prettier name," I side stepped, trying to go under his other arm but he slid in front of me placing one hand on the bathroom door and the other on the wall next to my head, making it impossible for me to pass by.

Uneasiness rippled through me and I took a step backwards, wanting a decent amount of space between us. I straightened, trying to make myself appear unaffected by the very threatening gesture. Maybe he was just blazed on some kind of drug. I mean, with the way he dressed and the fact that he was put off by the whole sloth comment he had to be on something.

He bent so he was eye level with me, and I swallowed my nerves. "Sloth is not prettier than me," he murmured lowly and I decided it was best to roll with it. Either it'd stall him til Edward and Alphonse noticed I've been gone long enough and decide to search for me or it'd appease him and he'd let me go.

"Greed, the prettiest of all the seven deadly sins," I agreed with forced cheerfulness, causing that shark grin to fly back to his face.

"That's the right, little doll." I have managed to appease the druggie.

But he wasn't moving.

Stalling it is, then. I shoved down the flutter of uneasiness. It was fine. I could do this. So far this guy didn't seem dangerous. Just weird.

"So do I get to be a sin, too?" I asked, trying to keep the conversation flowing, my gaze flickering past him. Where the fuck were those brothers? I've been gone for like ten minutes! They were probably cheating! Greed's eyebrows slowly rose upward. "Like, you know, since the Pope updated them and there's another seven and all… Can I be Pollution?"

"Darling, the hell are you talking about…?" He straightened, frowning at me like I was the one on drugs!

"Nothin' Daddy-O, just rolling on some E, high as kite, you feel me?" Maybe if he thought I was a crazy person he would leave me alone.

Silence awkwardly crept between us, my heart quickening as he continued to stare down at me. God I hated silences, but I was too uncomfortable to break it.

"Did you hit your head or something?" He asked with a frown. There was a surprising amount of concern in his voice for someone who was either tripping balls or had some mental problems. His hand neared my face and I went to slap it away

And

He

GRABBED

MY

WRIST.

Pulling my cellphone from my hand with sudden interest. I snatched my hand back, irritation snaking through the unease.

"What is this?" He asked, tilting it around in his hand, holding it so far above me that I wouldn't be able to get it back even if I started jumping for it.

Rage jolted through me, and the attitude I preserved for assholes on the subway took over. I didn't have to take this!

"It's a dildo I use to fuck my boyfriend in the ass!" I snapped heatedly and he looked down at me from over his shades. "Now give it back."

He laughed.

Laughed!

My cheeks burned with an angry blush.

"I like you, kiddo, you're a little spitfire with a filthy mouth." He grinned roguishly, twirling my phone slowly in his hands. "Now, what is this really?"

"Give it back and maybe I'll explain it in terms that you'll be able to understand." I tilted my chin upward, defiantly.

"Hey," a voice growled behind me, a rough hand digging into my arm and hauling me around so violently that I crashed into the wall. I hissed, tears of pain springing to my eyes as a bald asshole jerked me upright. He was at least twice my size and his expression let me know he'd have no problem breaking me in half. "You don't talk to the boss in the tone, you little bitch."

Today was a real Lifetime moment for me. First I wake up in a bed between a dog and a boy, and now I was being beaten up. Nice.

I tugged my arm, unable to break free from his bruising grip. "Sure I can," I continued to pull at my arm, wincing as his fingers dug in. "I'm doing it now. You can't stop me," I slid my gaze back toward Greed who watched with faint interest, like how one might observe animals at a zoo. "Give me back the Doctor."

You know when you're watching a movie and the one guy is cornered by the bad guys and he stupidly acts brave and insults the bad guys and gets killed because he's a total idiot? And the whole time you're just sitting there, thinking: if he only kept quiet and didn't piss them off he'd totally be alive.

I was that idiot guy right now.

My mouth had already gotten me in heaps of trouble. I didn't know how to get myself out of this situation. I wondered where Alphonse and Edward were and why they hadn't come running. I mean I've been gone! Didn't Edward have spidey-senses for that kind of stuff? Should I scream? Was nobody seriously going to help me? I was a kid and a girl, surely some 1910's man should feel it's his duty to protect me! I glanced behind the bald guy, shocked to find the car completely void of people.

Of course I was alone. Of. Course.

My skin prickled—I was alone. With two men. One who might be on some kind of fucking drug.

"This is a doctor?" Greed held my phone out in front of him, breaking me from my racing thoughts. "Are you sure you know what a doctor is?" Back to that concerned tone I now realized was patronizing.

Oh my God. Could this get any worse?

"It doesn't matter what it is, brat, we're taking it and we're going to sell it." Baldy growled and I tossed him a sarcastic grin despite the fact that my heart was slamming in my ribcage. I was fine. Really. I could handle this.

"To who?" I asked, my voice almost a squeak as I attempted to calm myself. "Nobody will know what it is, even if I explained it to you."

"It's a lot of wibbly wobbly time-y whimy stuff," my phone agreed, quoting its namesake, at the most inconvenient time ever. Oh my god, WHY! I sucked a breath in.

"Is this a person?" Greed tapped the screen with his finger with interest, my phone lighting up.

"That thing just spoke!" The guy holding me growled in surprise, his shock loosening his hold enough for me to yank my arm back. I stumbled, trying to steady myself. A sharp ache throbbed through my arm, and I gritted my teeth. "What the fuck is it!"

"Watch your fucking mouth, asshole, I'm a kid!" I snapped back, feeling the inner New Yorker seeping through. I turned my head toward Greed. "Give me my Doctor!"

"I think I'll keep this for myself," the greedy fuck told me with a shark smile and I felt a rush of panic pulse through me. He bent, leaning into my personal bubble and grabbed my chin between his fingers. My skin crawled at the contact and I refused to jerk back. I wouldn't give him that satisfaction. "Now be a good little girl and tell me what I want to know. I don't want you to get any more roughed up, being that you're such a doll."

I was intimidated. I took in a shaky breath. C'mon, Arlina, think. How do you get yourself out of this situation? Crying won't do anything. This guy was a real weirdo, and this was all entertainment for him. An idea sparked—make it entertaining for him and maybe he'll give me back my phone and leave me alone.

"I bet you that I can take your friend out with just a pen," so much for using that self-made insulin pen for an emergency, right? Baldy laughed mockingly behind me. "If I'm right, you give it back. If I'm wrong, I'll tell you what it is." And if I was wrong, I'd just scream and get my phone back when one of the freaking Elric brothers show up.

Greed threw his head back and laughed that crazy person laugh, releasing my chin as he straightened, placing a hand on his hip. "This is turning out to be more fun than I thought. You've got my word, little spitfire."

I didn't like the amused grin on his face, there was definitely something screwy with that guy. I turned, looking uneasily up at the bald man who was easily twice my size. He gave me a nasty smile, spreading his arms out in the universal come at me, bro. I dug through my bag, and pulled out the fountain pen. This better fucking work.

"Do your worst," he taunted. "You're a twiggy little girl, I doubt you can even stab me with—"

I slammed it into his gut as hard as I could and shakily staggered backwards, frightened, the pen still launched in him as he called me some pretty nasty shit. He was seething. I was screwed.

"Well," Greed said lightly behind me causing my back to stiffen. "Perhaps you shouldn't have given her the idea."

"You little bitch!" The bald guy hissed, and I found myself staring into the barrel of a gun. I froze, frightened tears springing. Shit just got real. "'uckin'…" his words were slurring as he cocked the gun, his hand shaking. "Wha'… you do…?" Oh please just knock him out already! Oh please!

A shattering BANG exploded through the air causing me to scream and cover my face with my arms. Choking back frightened sobs, I wondered if I had been shot and going through shock.

"Guns weren't a part of the agreement," Greed muttered and I lowered my arms a bit, finding him in front of me, his hand wrapped around his friend's arm which was pointed upward. His friend blinked a few times, before his eyes rolled up inside his head and he fell backwards with a loud THAWK.

Greed, gun in hand, tilted his head much like a dog at his unconscious friend and then turned to look at me, amused. I forced back the tears that threatened to fall, my heart frantically slamming around in my ribcage, a sob trapped in my throat. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"How'd you knock him out?" Greed asked curiously, like nothing horrible was going on, like his friend just didn't try to shoot me in the face. The world was spinning.

"In-insulin," I choked out, too terrified not to comply. "Lowered h-his b-blood s-sugar, h-high dosage."

Greed tapped the side of his head with the gun. "You're a clever little thing, aren't you?"

"Drop the weapon and put your hands above your head, if you make any sudden movements I will shoot to kill." Havoc's cold voice cut in and my legs gave out under me. I slid down to the floor, trembling, as Havoc slowly crept closer, a gun in his hands. Greed sighed, looking unconcerned.

This wasn't happening. This wasn't real.

"Looks like the fun is over, kiddo," Greed said cheerfully sending a jolt of terrified nausea through me.

The world was spinning and I couldn't breathe. My chest tightened and I was choking, my body betraying me. This wasn't real. It wasn't happening.

"Arlina!"

Alphonse.

His hands were on me, pulling me back up, and I stared at him, at Edward, a cold numbness growing from my fingertips and spreading through my entire body like a sickness. None of this was real. It couldn't be real. People just don't wake up a hundred years in a wrong past. I was going to wake up.

I had to wake up.

My life was a joke, and I wasn't waking up. Why wasn't I waking up? I wanted to go home now. I wanted to go home. They were talking, but it was like they were all so far away, everything was murky and unclear. Like it was all underwater. I couldn't understand.

Where had they been? Why didn't they come sooner? Why were they just standing there? Where was my Doctor? I stared at Edward. And then at Alphonse. And then Havoc. Where did that guy go? That guy, Greed?

Something inside of me cracked with a loud resounding snapped, my chest tightening and crunching, blocking any attempts to breathe. My knees buckled and the world jerked violently. Alphonse's arms were around me, keeping me upward as I suffocated in my own choking grief.

Doctor, my Doctor, he was gone.

Gone.

Gone.

A burning rose in my throat, air contracting painfully in my chest. I couldn't breathe, it was all clogged, a thick fog rolling over my thoughts. I wanted to die! I couldn't take this! The grief slammed into me in a violent wave and I couldn't resurface.

He promised.

He said.

I won the bet.

Where was my Doctor?

Why didn't I have my Doctor?

He said. He promised.

"Fuck, she's in shock," Havoc was saying and I stared at them incredulously.

Shock?

Who was in shock? Why weren't they helping me? Why weren't they getting my Doctor? Why were they just standing there? How could they just stand there and not help me? How could they do this to me? I pushed against Alphonse frantically but he wouldn't let me go!

"Doctor," I choked, feeling strangled. "He said. He promised. Where is he? I want Doctor!"

I couldn't understand why they were just standing there! Didn't they hear me? Didn't they care? Didn't they realize what this meant? Doctor couldn't have left me here! Alone! I needed my phone!

Why were they just staring at me like that?

"You need to breathe!" Alphonse said and I stared at him in betrayed hurt. "You need to calm down, it's okay!" I wanted him to get off of me! I wanted Jonathan!

The world was spinning.

Greed lied.

He lied.

"He took him away from me!" Didn't he understand? "Get off me, I have to get him back! He left me all alone! I'm alone, I'm stuck here! Get off me, get off me!"

I had nothing now. Doctor was the only one who understand me, and now I was alone.

The world blurred as a sob ripped from my throat.

Alone.

Anguish tore through the numbness like shattering glass.

Gone.

Gone like my Jonathan.

Gone.

I took a shuddering intake of air. I was crumbling. Drowning.

And then I sobbed. I felt like I was being ripped apart, piece by piece, the misery and grief tearing me in two.

I buried my face into my hands, sobbing, screaming. I couldn't cry hard enough to get the agony out of my chest. It piled on and on until all I knew was the sharp twisting anguish that spiraled through me.

I was alone.

Abandoned.

Trapped.

I hated Jonathan for leaving me here all alone.

I hated myself.

Bitter guilt pierced through me. I deserved this.

"Arlina," Alphonse's voice curled around me, easing the strangled attempts of getting air into my lungs. Gently, his fingers pried mine from my face. He was a blurry mess of metal. His large hands cradled my face, his thumbs swiping the tears that continued to fall. "It's okay. I promise. I swear. Ed will get Doctor back, he will, okay? I'm sorry we didn't come sooner, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's okay. You're okay. Everything is okay, I promise it is. Please don't cry."

"He left me," I choked out, my fingers numbly gripping the sides of his hands. I clung to Alphonse with every shuddering breath inside of me. I clung to him helplessly, sobbing uncontrollably, agony snapping me in half. "He left me." I felt like glass exploded inside of me, digging and scraping. I felt raw, shattered, broken. "Alphonse please don't leave me," I begged, sobbing.

"I won't. Not ever." He whispered as I clung to his hands, clung because I was drowning. Clung because the ground under me had crumbled away. "I'll never leave you. When I'm back in my body, I'll hug you and I'll won't let go until all the pain is gone. I'll never let you be sad again."

There was nothing wet inside of me to cry, my throat too hoarse to sob or choke. Alphonse's words, his hands on me, calmed the hysterical craze that I'd fallen in and I was left with a throbbing headache and a hurt that dug itself deeply into my chest.

My nerves were frazzled, and I felt like I was splintered into little jarred pieces. Miserably, I realized Roy had been right to demand we stop for meals, for sleep. I had been on the verge of leaping into a meltdown. I wasn't going to just wake up, and the loss of Doctor shattered what little I had. I was really here. I was really alone. I realized I had been sinking since I got to this place, that my mind had been on the tip of madness trying to make sense of everything that happened.

I was frightened by this realization.

Shakily, I glanced around us—the bald guy was leaning against one of the bench seats, my pen still poking out of his stomach, and there was no sign of Havoc or Edward.

"Where did Ed go?" My voice cracked, strained, as I turned my gaze back to Alphonse, his thumb drawing soothing circles against my wet cheeks. I wanted Scooby. I wanted to hug him and cry.

"After the creep who took Doctor," he murmured softly. "He'll get your Doctor back. The Lieutenant went to inform the conductor. Apparently there was a train robbery going on…" Of course there was.

Noise turned my attention toward where the bald guy was, Edward was crawling back into the train through the open window. Numbly, I thought how typical this all was. Of course Greed would escape through a window and of course Edward would follow.

They could star in their own Western.

"Arlina…?" Edward's voice was soft, his golden eyes sweeping across my face. He slowly approached, and Alphonse's hands dropped from my face.

"Ed, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to get crazy," I blurted out, the want to cry rising quickly. "You didn't have to go through the window, it's—it's fine."

Edward rolled his eyes, a grin sliding across his face. "No it isn't you idiot," he held my phone up and my legs gave out under me from the force of sheer relief and happiness. My Doctor! Alphonse easily caught me, his grip making the bruise on my arm throb, but I couldn't find it in me to complain. Edward's grin turned teasing. "I'm so amazing, you can't even stand!"

"You jerk," I choked, a wide smile flying across my face, my cheeks crinkling from the dried tears. I clung to Alphonse, trying to bring the feelings back into my legs. "You stupid jerk."

"I'm a goddamn hero," Edward said, rather cockily, spreading his arms out wide. "You may hug me." That smug jerk. I was going to hug the stuffing out of him.

Alphonse's grip loosened and, shakily, I straightened, my fingers against his suit in case my body decided to take a dive to the floor again.

"Are you able to stand okay, Arli?" Alphonse asked quietly and I nodded, unable to keep the grin off my face.

"You guys," I choked, wrapping my arms around Edward's neck, hugging him with everything I had. His arms circled around me, hugging back just as tightly. "You guys are the greatest friends in the whole wide world." I turned my head and planted a messy kiss on his cheek. Edward made a noise but didn't pull away. That's right. Take my germs. "Thank you for getting Doctor. You can use my toothbrush whenever you want."

"Group hug!" Alphonse burst in happily, before I had time to pull away from Edward, and gathered the both of us in his arms, squeezing. I pressed my palms against Edward's chest, trying to push him away, as Alphonse lifted us from the ground. Not again!

"AL!" We choked simultaneously causing the suit to chuckle and set us back down. I staggered away from Edward, taking a deep intake of air.

"When I'm back in my body, I better get kisses on the cheek too," Alphonse demanded cheerfully. Edward, as though suddenly remembering I'd kiss him, flew his hand to his cheek and rubbed the spot furiously with his sleeve. I grinned.

"You'll get all the kisses, Fonzie!" I turned, swiping Doctor from Edward and poked him in the chest. "I'm hot shit and you should feel honored that you were blessed to receive a kiss from me."

Edward snorted, golden eyes gleaming. "You're a real steaming pile of hot shit, alright." I opened my mouth, not sure if I should laugh or not as Alphonse disguised his laughter with coughs.

"So he's your boyfriend, huh?"

I froze at the sound of Greed's voice, my head snapping around. Sure enough, there he was, somehow perched on the open train window, grinning that shark grin at us. Edward and Alphonse were in front of me in a flash.

"Relax, kids, I've only come for my stuff. A deal is a deal, and I don't lie." The weirdo said as though we were being dramatic and slid into the train. I clenched my jaw. Don't lie, my ass.

"You better not come near her." Edward growled as I peered at Greed, holding Doctor close.

"You should leave," Alphonse's voice was just as dark.

Greed looked around, as though searching for something, and then spotted baldy. "So that's where I left him."

Like we didn't matter at all, like we weren't standing here. Like he could just singlehandedly shoved me into a hysterical meltdown and then says he didn't lie? And then come back like none of this was any big deal!

"You did lie," I found my voice, anger biting. "You took off with Doctor!"

"I didn't take off, I was a few cars down waiting for the military bastard to leave. I really didn't feel like dealing with that." Greed easily picked his unconscious friend up, pulling the pen out and tossing it in our direction. Edward caught it. "Your boyfriend was sure in a hurry to get it back, though…" Greed's smirk turned saucy. "I know about you and… Doctor." He nodded in my direction.

"…What?"

I slammed my mouth shut, amusement bubbling in my throat. Don't laugh. Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh. I'm not supposed to find the asshole amusing! Why was I amused by this?

"Hey I'm not judging. If that's what you kids do these days," Greed slung baldy over his shoulder like a duffle bag.

"Just every other week," I don't know what possessed me to say it. I must've still been half hysterical from before. "It's our kink."

Greed snorted as Edward turned, staring at me. I tried to wipe the amused grin off my face, I mean this guy was a creepy jerk! I shouldn't be joking with him!

"Next time we meet, you gotta tell me what that thing really is," he was climbing out the window with ease, turning to toss us a grin. "See you, spitfire!"

"Like hell you will!" Edward growled, racing to the window and slamming it shut. Alphonse spun around, hands on my shoulders.

"Don't worry Arli, we'll never let that man come near you again!" Alphonse promised, and I knew I was supposed to feel shaky and unsettled.

But now that I knew he really would've returned Doctor… Looking back at everything, I couldn't help but find it kind of… funny. I raised my fingers to my forehead. I must've still been a little off balance. I didn't feel warm, though.

"Youcan't have inside jokes with the guy who tried to shoot you!" Edward whirled around, golden eyes narrowing at me. My cheeks flushed, guilt flaring. It wasn't like that!

"I wasn't—and he wasn't the one who tried to shoot me. The bald guy was." Not that made up for it. Though, he did save me from being shot in the face.

No.

It was just a game to him, and if it had being entertaining for him I'd probably be dead right now. I shivered at the thought, and plucked the pen from Edward.

"Isn't that the pen you took from the hotel?" Alphonse asked, surprising me. I looked up at him. He'd seen me take it? I nodded.

"Why was it in that guy?" Edward asked. I ducked my head, feeling awkward, and hugged myself, my fingers rubbing the bruise that was unquestionably forming on my arm.

"Because I stabbed him, that's why he tried to shoot me," I admitted hesitantly, Edward's eyes growing round.

"You idiot!"

"You could have gotten yourself killed!"

Guilt and shame tangled, and I straightened. "I wanted the Doctor back! I bet Greed that I could knock his friend out with just the pen and if I did, he'd give it back!" I defended myself quickly. "And I did! I filled the pen up with insulin, just in case I ever needed an emergency dosage, I didn't want to put that on you—"

"You said we were a team!" Edward exploded and I flinched back at his words, but despite his anger I was warmed by it. "We help each other! You can rely on me and Al, we want to help you!"

"Chief, don't yell at Arlina, she's traumatized," Havoc murmured from behind me and I turned around, staring at him with wide eyes. Annoyance was written across his face, a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth. I felt myself wanting to comment on it and he shot me a look. "Don't. I'm stressed." He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "When the boss told you to try not to die, he hadn't been challenging you. Did you get in this sort of trouble where you used to live? It's a miracle you're still alive. And it's hell of a good thing I'm here, you obviously need a team of bodyguards wherever you go."

Meekly, I shrunk back behind Alphonse. I had always been the one looking out for Jonathan, and now I wasn't sure what to do. I mean, I'd never been reprimanded before, not really. Oh god. It wasn't my fault. I wasn't seeking danger, this all just happened!

"Don't tell Roy," I whispered. He was going to be pissed. What if… he realizes I'm too much work? I mean, I've only been here for a few days and I just keep making a mess out of everything and giving him stress. It was just one thing after the other with me.

"Too damn late for that, not only did this become a military affair, but he's my superior, it's my job to report back to him." Havoc sighed, frustrated. "When we get to Central, the Colonel is going to bite our heads off. I'm pretty sure if he had the ability to set me on fire over the line, he would have."

I hid my face in Alphonse's arm. A few days here and I'm already getting everyone in trouble, making a mess of everything and crying like a psycho.

Edward leaned closer to me, cupping a hand over his mouth to whisper, "Don't worry, when we get to Central I'll distract Mustang with my body and you can make your escape with Alphonse." He pulled back flashing me a thumbs up.

Amusement hit me full on, shoving the anxious feeling bad for myself feelings right out of me. I burst into laughter.

"Laugh now, but the boss is on the line waiting to talk to you," Havoc pointed at me causing my laughter to cut short. "And you get the joy of filling out a report with me." He pointed to Edward who groaned.

"I hate paperwork," Edward whined.

"Do you know where the switchboard is? I need to speak to the conductor, let him know we can start moving again." Havoc's gaze turned to me, the irritation fading into concern. "Are you alright?"

I honestly had no idea, the hysterical misery that had taken me before was still very fresh in my memory. My fingers curled tighter around Doctor and I put on the best smile I could manage. "Of course."

"Come on, Arlina, let's get this over with," Edward grumbled, his fingers sliding around my wrist and pulling me down the corridor. I snatched Alphonse's hand and he held mine back, comfortingly.

We entered a classier part of the train. The walls were wooden, lined with doors with little round windows on them. It was basically first class.

"That's bullshit," I frowned, rising on my tiptoes to look through the windows and the classier compartments with cushioned seats. "Why don't we get to sit up here? You're the Fullmetal Special-Pants Alchemist and I'm the daughter of a Colonel."

"We're the dogs of the military," Edward murmured distractedly. Damn it, Roy, you picked the wrong career track. "Here it is," he opened one of the doors.

It was surprisingly big enough for the three of us, Alphonse especially, to fit in the room comfortably. I stared at the strange gray wall with plugs and wires connected to it. Weird. Edward picked up the relatively normal looking phone that was set aside and handed it to me.

Oh god.

Squishing the nervousness, I took it from him, bringing it to my ear. "Don't be mad."

"Arlin," Roy's clipped voice crinkled through the phone. He sounded mad. Not a good start. "You are not to leave Havoc's sight at any point for the rest of the duration of the trip to Central." Havoc just became perma-babysitter.

"Even when I'm trying pee—"

"Don't be a smartass! When I said try not to die, I had been joking, I didn't think you would fling yourself—"

"I didn't! I didn't do this on purpose, Roy! I went to the bath—the ladies, and they cornered me when I was leaving—"

"Which is why Havoc will escort you everywhere you go."

"No! You just met me you can't start controlling everything in my life like this! You don't have the right."

"I'd tell you to grow up, but that merely validates my point, you are a child and you will do as you are told. Nearly getting shot—"

"Because I stabbed him!" Tears of frustration and hurt sprang. "Because he took Doctor! I bet that I could knock him out and I did! I'm resourceful, you bastard, I didn't know he had a gun! I—"

Edward gently pulled the phone from me, stilling my rushed words. I stared at him, blinking back the tears, as Alphonse's hand pulled mine into his. He gave me a comforting squeeze and I offered a watery smile.

"Stop being such a bastard to her," Edward's voice was rather calm, his golden eyes locked on me and I stared back, surprised. He was… standing up for me. "You haven't been here, you aren't that aware of what's been going on, and neither is Havoc. Arlina doesn't need you chewing her out, she's been through enough."

Warmth spread through my chest, happiness brimming. I never had anyone stick up for me. I was always so sure I could handle myself, that I never really thought I needed that. But it was… nice.

Edward winced, pulling the phone from his ear, irritation flickering to life on his face.

And then he blinked with surprise. "Wha…?" His eyes widened suddenly, his gloved fingers flying upward to touch his cheek. I watched with confusion as he blanched, a weird look twisting across his face. "WE AREN'T LIKE THAT! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" He gaped. Oh god. "I DO NOT!" His eyes went even more wide and he sputtered. "WHA-WHAT?! HAVOC. IS. LYING!"

Fucking Havoc, what did he tell Roy!

Edward flailed, his face crimson, and jerked backwards. There was a loud SNAP and he nearly fell over as the phone cord ripped from the wall.

I stared down at the broken cord in shock and then at Edward who was staring, stunned, down at the cord, his mouth falling open.

"…Oooo," Alphonse wagged his finger at Edward. "You broke it."

I started to laugh.

"Mustang is going to think you hung up on him, and he's gonna be pissed," Alphonse continued in the same you're-in-trouble singsong tone. "Oooo, you're gonna get it."

I laughed harder and Edward snapped his mouth shut, turning to look at Alphonse.

"Shut up, Al, I can fix it!" Edward huffed, clapping his hands together. Blue lightning crackled through the air hurtling me into nausea as images flickered through my mind.

I spun around and vomited on the floor.

Edward snorted into laughter, slapping a hand over his mouth to try to muffle it. Alphonse burst into laughter next to him and they both fell into hysterical laughter. I straightened, my cheeks warming as I stared at them.

"Every time," Alphonse cried as another phone began to shrilly ring.

What asshole friends.

I snatched the phone up, bringing it to my ear.

"Fullmetal," Roy growled.

"I throw up every time Ed does alchemy," I said back there was a pause and then a very audible snort. These goddamn bastards. "Yeah laugh it up."

"I see. How long as this been going on?" Roy worded this weirdly, and I had a feeling he didn't want me to speak plainly. Maybe their government monitored phone calls.

"Not long. You were right about Doctor." I could picture his high and mighty smirk.

There was a pause. And then, softly, "…are you alright?" Worry edged, bleeding through his quiet voice. I opened my mouth to tell him that of course I was fine, but something in me kept it at bay.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, the brothers laughter quieting. "I think I'm really messed up right now. But Al and Ed have been really great friends, really supportive, so..."

"I don't want you alone with that Fullmetal."

Whoa.

What?

Suddenly Roy's in crazy dad mode. Suddenly this conversation became like the ones they have in the movies where the dad is all protective just because a boy blinked in his daughter's direction. What just happened? What did Havoc tell him?

"I'm not his type," I assured Roy. "I'm not the Mustang he wants." Alphonse snorted loudly, and I wondered how that was possible if he didn't have a nose.

"You're not the Mustang he's looking for," the suit said, causing Edward to snigger into his hand as I shot Alphonse an amused grin. Fuckin' Star Wars.

There was a long pause and I bit my lip. I wondered if I weirded Roy out. Edward slid over to me, his head nearly touching mine as he leaned closer to the phone.

"He's not pretty enough for me," Roy's voice was surprisingly playful causing a smile to spread across my face. I couldn't wait to show Roy the picture of Edward in a dress. It would change his mind.

Edward scoffed, pulling away with an offended look on his face. "He said I'm not pretty enough!" He told Alphonse. "I'm stunning!"

"Who knew the Colonel was so shallow," Alphonse said sympathetically.

"Arlin… I know things are difficult right now, but it would make me feel better if I knew Lieutenant Havoc was keeping an eye on you." Roy was speaking softly. "I wasn't angry with you before, just…" Worried. Yeah. I got it.

"I'm just not used to having to depend on someone, or having them worry," I blurted. "I don't mean to be difficult. I'm sorry I keep doing this to you." I'm sorry I'm somehow a murder magnet.

"This is… new for the both of us. But we'll figure out how to make it work," his words brought relief and I relaxed, sighing. He wasn't going to give up on me, despite everything.

"Is now a bad time to tell you we have a dog?" I asked quickly and I heard Roy making a choking sound.

"…We—?"

"Havoc said I could have him. I love him and I'm attached you can't take him from me! Okay, bye!" I threw the phone at Edward who slapped it to the floor. I grinned, feeling a lot better suddenly. I couldn't wait for Roy to pounce on Havoc in a rage.


If you guys felt like this chapter was completely off balance, that's because it really was. It's basically the first draft. I usually spend an entire day editing and rewriting scenes and adding detail and stuff, but, uh... I can't exactly do that right now. I unfortunately might be updating a tiny bit less often until I can get back onto my feet. REAL LIFE THINGS ARE A PAIN!

I'm sure a few of us had a good chuckle at Arlina's total freak out. It's only the beginning. And here is Greed! Don't worry, he'll be back again very soon. Arlina gets to keep Scooby (for now), Doctor is acting strangely again, and the whole train ride arc is coming to a close. Next chapter is the father-daughter reunion we've all been waiting for. Can't wait til Roy gets a look at Scooby, pfft.

I've got two questions for you guys!
Question one: How would you feel if this was only loosely based on Brotherhood? We could just take the plot and put it in a meatgrinder and come up with a lot of original stuff. I mean, even if I only strictly followed Brotherhood Arlina being around and being the sort of person she is would end up making it a lot different as it is.
Question two: The Al/Oc, Ed/Oc thing is so divided it's almost funny and you all have AMAZING input about it. If Arlina ends up with a brother that you don't agree with, is this going to be a deal breaker for you guys?
I'd put up a poll about the pairing, but let's wait til Al's back in his body. Which will be happening soon! And it will be fantastic. Wink wonk, guys, wink wonk.

Mcat9905, of course you'd be included! What you have to say is extremely important, there is no fanfic without the reviewers! And now there's a bond THAT CAN NEVER BE BROKEN! Ah, but seriously, I WAS actually planning on just skipping over it. But you asked, and I couldn't resist, so there you go! I hope it's up to snuff for ya!

Moka-girl, HAHAHAHA mine too! Scooby could star in this fanfic!

Kittenizzy Loves Edward Elric, GASP, WAFFLES! My apartment is literally the sugary pancake-waffle house now. It's fantastic. And good! Spread this fanfic, it'll be like an epidemic. People will whisper "Oh, no" and unplug the internet.

Roselleshinigami, EVERYONE WISH ROSELLE GOOD LUCK SHE MIGHT BE GOING TO JAPAN ON A SCHOLARSHIP SO EXCITING! My darlin', again I will say this! Never apologize for missing a review and that goes for all of you! As long as you're alright and happy, that's all that matters :D And I am loving your ideas!

YourSecretStalker, OH MY GOD I'M SHRIEKING! THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE HEARD ALL WEEK! Come, share these waffles with me.

Alpha Infinity, I'm dying with laughter right now, these scenes are TOO FREAKIN' FUNNY! I'm in love with them! I might borrow them! And I'm setting up the owned count idea in Arlina's head. Oh man, it's going to be FANTASTIC. It also brings me great joy to know there is a fellow TFS fan among us.

That author named Lexi, your review for the second chapter made me spit my drink all over the screen, oh god. THANK YOU. Maybe I will! And Bifflecake is what I call my best friends.

Winter Coma, REAAALLY? Things that I never knew existed! I'm going to have to watch that!

BlueRoseRabbit, YEEEES! That's actually a brilliant idea! I'm undecided if I'd have it be a serious thing, or not. Like Arlina could dress like Sherlock Holmes and ride Scooby around town screaming "ROOOOY?" with Havoc following after her in tears.

SilverTreble, I can only imagine terror and horror would be felt if this fanfic floated through the gate and landed on Roy's desk. I picture him snapping his fingers screaming "BURN IT! BURN IT!" and rocking back in forth in the corner whispering "I never knocked anyone up". As far as I know, this is planned to follow Brotherhood, but that might change. I'm having a lot of fun making things up. And there's a lot more I have planned in the future. Like both Ed and Al in dresses. EVERYONE IS JUST ALWAYS IN DRESSES. You know, it took me a few days to try to pin down what kind of music Arlina would listen to. I think her favorite song would be Look at me (I'm a winner) which just kind of captures her personality really well. I dunno. What's your favorite song?

I Am Alys, I actually had no idea which one to put up for this chapter, but, ah, I feel like this one kind of captures the expression Arlina is usually wearing anyway. I really don't know what happened, Fair was supposed to be a tiny shoutout to Final Fantasy and now I've got horrible plans for his future and his impact on the story. Whoops.

Lurking Pheonix, the same thing happens to me! I actually started this story thinking it'd be Arl/Al, but then... I DUNNO WHAT'S HAPPENING. And while we don't have to worry about romance any time soon (Arlina isn't emotionally or mentally ready for that kind of thing), I still want to be certain which pairing I'm going with before I start to write it out. With Al, it's going to be a very sweet romantic thing, and with Ed... well, I imagine it'd be the same basically as how they act now. I was thinking I'd write fluff scenes for each pairing and then throw them at you guys.

KurokamiHaruhi, we can share custody. You can have Doctor Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. I'll have him Money, Wednesday and Saturday. On Thursdays my roommate has him.

SageofAges729, I hope you don't mind that I took Arli! I've been trying to figure out a nickname Al could give Arlina but I just was coming up with blanks. I'm completely in love with Arli, it's just so cute.

Shiningheart of ThunderClan, Roy wakes up for a nap and finds a pretend wedding going on between Arlina and Fair with Al and Ed in dresses. There would be fire everywhere and I think he would just handcuff Arlina to himself.

tWisted Alice, I SHALL CHERISH YOUR SOUL FOR ALL ETERNITY! And talk to it in public. "Should I get the chicken tenders or just ice cream? ICE CREAM? OKAY EVERYONE HEARD TWISTED ALICE'S SOUL, ICE CREAM IT IS!"

SilentFrenchNight, HAPPY BIRTHDAYGSUAFS *CONFETTI AND BALLOONS EVERYWHERE!*

xCow-Duckx, I get so giddy when I hear I'm portraying diabetes right! I get really worried about that kind of thing and I'm huge on having everything as realistic as possible. The amount of research that has gone into this fanfic about diabetes and the early 1900's is just... kind of sad.

DualSoul H99, GAAAH I'M SO FLATTERED THANK YOU! And naaah, you're fine! You're not talking ENOUGH! DRINK MORE COFFEE AND COME AWAY WITH ME TO A LAND OF CAFFEINATED JOY!

RoseblossomWarrior, GASP! I ACCEPT THIS HEADCANON! Can it be a headcanon? ANYWAY, I ACCEPT DAVID TENNANT AS DOCTOR'S VOICE! It'll make it so much more funny later on. Not to worry, I'll fit Allons-y in there somewhere! AND SPOILERS! I can't explain the whole Roy's a dad thing just yet! But it'll be explained! I promise!

Animorphs007, thank you very much! And don't say that, you can write just as good AND SOON PROBABLY EVEN BETTER than me! I believe in your amazing abilities, my friend!

TrinityFMA720, I never had a quiche before SHARE IT WITH ME.

AnneTesla, it shall be done!

LeFay Strent, *romantic music plays* LEFAY, MY DARLING! MY LOVE! MY HEART'S DELIGHT! You set my soul alight with your words! No seriously, I squeal and flail and hide my face and crawl under the couch singing "LEFAY LOVES ME!" I've convinced my roommate we're together. I'm not sure what's happening, but I do believe it's the truest love that's ever happened. It brings me the greatest joy to know you like my story so much, LEGIT TEARS OF HAPPINESS! And I know, I'm sorry, I hyped everyone up thinking one way about the Doctor, my bad! It's going to be revealed soon, and Arlina is going to freak. Like Scooby, our Final Fantasy guys are going to become a bigger part of the story! Funny how that keeps happening? All supposed to be a shout out/joke but then it just kind of runs away on its own. Like this story is ALIVE and has a mind of its own! You're also going to have to tell me honestly how this chapter is, because, gah! I know things aren't flowing correctly but GAH. Hold me, LeFay, so I can weep on you. WaaaaaaaaahAAAAAAAAHSVFA IF YOU HAD A PICTURE DRAWN FOR ARLINA I WOULD JUST DIE. And then I would get my bifflecake to draw YOU something. She made me a pretty decently drawn Greed in hot pink bunny ears. Name it, my love, and it shall be drawn!

A MASSIVELY HUGE FREAKIN' THANK YOU TO THE BEST FREAKIN' REVIEWERS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!: Mcat9905, Airix Ixief, Moka-girl, Kyoichi Amaya, EeveeAlchemist, Karuta, Kittenizzy Loves Edward Elric, AzureShadowMoon, Roselleshinigami, YourSecretStalker, AlphaFive, Alpha Infinity, That author named Lexi, LeFay Strent, 3, Winter Coma, BlueRoseRabbit, Ducky9002, Kashagal and Natures Ruler, TrinityFMA720, SilverTreble, Sinnel, I Am Alys, Lurking Pheonix, KurokamiHaruhi, SageofAges729, Kitsune2477, Shiningheart of ThunderClan, CacklingBlasphemy, NoticemeWitherysenpai, tWisted Alice, SilentFrenchNight, xCow-Duckx, DualSoul H99, RoseblossomWarrior, Animorphs007, TrinityFMA720, AnneTesla, Iliketosmile, TheOneWhoLies, The Animeniacc! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Thank you for your constant support and your words of encouragement!

And like always, thank you so much for the follows and favorites, and another huge thank you to my silent readers! You guys are amazing! Thank you!