New story here. I will be continuing with letters but this one has been going round in my head. I guess it's loosely based on persuasion, but only really the basic premise. I may borrow plot points again, but it depends how it goes. Please review and let me know if anyone is interested in me continuing this. As ever all mistakes are mine. I do try my best but I know I was always crap at grammar in school.
Sybil pulled her jacket and scarf tighter around her as she walked home from what had been a crap day at work. One in a long line of crap days. The wind blew, chilling her bones even more adding to her misery. This wasn't how she thought her life would turn out. Working in a rotten job that zapped her spirit, while coming home to an empty flat night after night, wasn't exactly every young girl's dream.
Yes she was 'seeing' Larry, if a comfort shag every so often could constitute 'seeing'. But it wasn't a relationship; he wasn't a partner to share her life with, her highs and her lows. 'You had that once' a little voice whispered inside her 'but you gave it up, you let it go'. It was the voice that she tried to ignore and most of the time she was successful. But it was nights like this, after the week she just had when she couldn't. When her brain was filled with thoughts of the past, thoughts of him and what she had given up.
Five years earlier
"Sybil darling, what's wrong?" Sybil stared into the concerned eyes of her eldest sister, unable to speak and promptly burst into tears. This wasn't supposed to happen, she had her life for the next few years planned out not this. Mary's arms wrapped round her trying to bring comfort, but this only led to Sybil crying harder. After a few minutes Sybil attempted to pull herself together, pulling away from Mary, taking deep breaths she tried to talk, to explain.
"Oh Mary, I think..I think.. I'm Preg…Pregnant" She gulped looking up at Mary for the first time, her tears threatening to spill once more
"Sybil how could you be so stupid?" Said Mary harshly "I suppose its Tom's?"
Sybil knew Mary's opinion of her boyfriend, it wasn't that Mary didn't like him, it was just that she didn't think he was good enough for her. Her baby sister in her eyes deserved more than a lowly mechanic, no matter how many times Sybil told her that he was really a writer. It didn't matter. To her writers couldn't support families any more than mechanics could. When it came to love Mary was very old-fashioned, it all came down to money. Love was all well and good but it was secondary. Mary had been lucky, her husband Matthew was a high earning lawyer, who she loved dearly, so Mary hadn't had to choose. Sybil could never be sure which her sister would have picked love or money, if she'd had to.
For Sybil it had always been different, she didn't care that neither her or Tom had any money, they didn't need to be rich, just enough to get by and each other would see them through. Or so she had always thought. But a now a baby? A baby wasn't part of the plan. The plan was to take off, see the world together have adventures, learn who they really were before settling down. She knew Tom loved her, that he had always loved her and would support her whatever. But could she really trap him here with a child. This trip was his dream, his chance to have some real experiences, to help him become a better writer. She didn't think she could forgive herself if she took it away from him. She knew it took two to tango and all that. But it was her on the pill and she had missed taking one. It was her fault.
"Of course it Tom's, how could it be anybody else's?" Sybil said disgusted. "I think I must have missed a pill, I took a test, oh god Mary it was positive. What am I going to do? How can I tell Tom? The trip's all planned and he's so excited. I can't take that away from him. I just can't"
"Well you don't have to tell him"
"What? I can't go traveling and not tell him, I think he might notice pretty quick"
"Well of course not darling, but just because you can't go doesn't mean he can't" Mary said gently
"Oh you would just love that, wouldn't you? You never wanted me to go in the first place. God I came to you because I thought you be on my side"
"I am on your side, I'm just being practical. You said it yourself. How can you take his dream away for one silly mistake? Don't tell him. Tell him you have changed your mind, tell him you don't love him, tell him anything to make him go without you."
"But I can't do that to him, I can't keep him from his own child"
"You can if it's what's best for him. Where will you be three years from now if you tell him, married with a kid, him resenting you cutting short his dreams and you left wondering if he's there because he loves you or because he got you pregnant?"
"I know he loves me" Said Sybil sternly but there was a wobble in her voice.
"I know you believe that now and maybe it true, but if you love him, shouldn't you let him go, wouldn't it be for the best. Matthew and I and Mum and Dad can look after you and the baby when it comes along. Just think about it Sybil. You need to do the right thing."
Looking back Sybil wondered how she could have been stupid enough to listen to her sister, let alone follow her advice, but she had been scared and unsure of herself at the time. To this day she never forgot the look in Tom's eyes as she lied to him.
"But Sybil Love, I don't understand, we are all set ready to go" Said Tom
"I know, but I've been thinking, this trip is really more about you than it is me, I'm not sure I should come along."
"Sybil, what are you talking about, we have been planning this for ages." He came towards her then placing his hands on her arms eyes pleading. "You and me and the stars, travel, adventure, I can't believe you don't want that anymore."
This was the moment that broke her heart, the moment she destroyed them. But she knew there was no other way, he wouldn't believe anything else.
"Tom, okay I didn't want to do this, but there is someone else, I've fallen for someone else, I'm not sure I love you any more."
He jerked away from her as if he'd been slapped.
"I don't believe you, you wouldn't, you wouldn't cheat on me. Who is he?" he asked suddenly "Actually I don't want to know."
"It just happened, I didn't mean it to, I'm so sorry" she pleaded
"Are you sleeping with him?"
She bit her lip, no turning back now, this would seal the deal.
"Yes" She closed her eyes to the pain in her heart. "I didn't mean to hurt you"
His face still haunted her to this day, the utter shock and hurt etched on it.
"Well I guess there is nothing more to say is there? Love" he added angrily, his usual endearment spat out bitterly. He stood staring at her, for what seemed like hours but was no more than a few seconds, as if trying to decide whether to fight for her or not, tears threatening to fall. Finally his shoulders sagged in defeat and he walked towards the door.
"How could you Sybil? I loved you so much, I thought we were something special " and with that he was gone. It was only then that Sybil had allowed herself to cry.
She hadn't seen him again after that, two days later he was on a plane and gone for good. So it was too late when a week later after a doctor's appointment, she discovered she wasn't pregnant, a false positive they called it. Her heart broke again for a baby that never was and a love that she herself had destroyed.
So life had continued, but it seemed empty now without Tom. She knew it was stupid to still pine for someone after five years. But the truth was she still loved him, and she didn't think that was ever going to change. She had no way of reaching him and she knew he wouldn't want to see her even if she could. Not after what he thought she had done. But you try telling that to her heart.
Her phone beeped at her, Mary had left her a voicemail earlier in the day that she was yet to listen to. Their relationship had never really been the same since the incident with Tom. She didn't really blame Mary, she was only doing what she thought was right. But she had caught her at a vulnerable moment and used it to manipulate the situation so that Mary had gotten what she wanted. Sybil had stayed behind and Tom was gone. Sybil knew that Mary could see how miserable she was and that she felt guilty for her part in it. But that still didn't mean Sybil forgave her. It didn't lead to the best sisterly relationship and it tended to mean she dodged Mary's calls. She lifted the phone to her ear playing the message.
"Sybil Darling, Hope you are okay? Wish you would pick up your phone every once in a while. Just phoning to check that you are still coming to the anniversary party on Saturday? Look I have some news. I just thought I should tell you." Mary paused as if not knowing how to continue. "Well you see Matthew bumped into Tom on Saturday" Sybil's blood ran cold
"And you know how they always got along so well, could never understand it myself but anyway. Well it would seem Matthew, the idiot, invited him to the party. I just thought I should tell you, I mean he probably won't turn up. But I didn't want it to come as a shock or anything in case he did. Any way please call me Sybil okay, its been a while."
With that the message ended. Sybil stood there in shock. He was back, she might see him again. The thought filled her with equal amounts of joy and dread. How do you face the love of your life, when he probably hates you for breaking his heart?
Please Review. Should I continue? Sorry for any Mary fans that I made her the bad guy, but it seemed to fit.