Okay, ready for Edwards POV? He is going through the change in this chapter and we get hear is very earnest thoughts


What just happened? I was drifting into a dark hole of growing light, when I heard a voice whisper 'aspetta sempre te, figlio mio, il mio compagno'. The voice was followed by a deep gash in my neck and now I feel like I'm burning in a pit of fire.

What. The. Hell?

Okay, so I was feeling miserable and all, but I remember seeing Bella. That made me feel better. Seeing her beautiful face. But I didn't like seeing her cry. I remember grabbing her hand tightly when someone picked me up and took me out in the cold air. Again I ask, what the hell? Just leave me in bed to die.

Apparently that wasn't good enough. They have to slice open my neck and make me burn alive.

Surprisingly, I could hear my Bella screaming her head off. Using the colorful language I had taught her, but that she refused to use because she is 'a lady'. I loved it when she would say 'I am a lady, Edward. Ladies don't say that word.'

She was feeling un-ladylike today I guess. Because she was using an array of colors in her language. I was proud, but couldn't focus on that. All I could focus on was the intense burning. It was spreading down from my neck. Into my shoulders, my arms, hands, fingers. I felt it rise up my neck, my jaw, my ears. It was so hot. So painful. I screamed and groaned. I tried to thrash and move, but I felt like my limbs were made of lead. Too heavy.

Oh no. Oh God no no no.

I felt the fire spreading down my torso, down my stomach, abdomen and finally reaching my dick and balls. I screamed like a little girl. A shrill, squeal-like sound came out of my throat and my eyes flew open. I gripped the sheets beneath me and kept on screaming. Inside my head I was screaming the words 'NOT MY BALLS!' and 'NOT MY DICK!'.

I was terrified. And hot as hell. I felt like I was just a pile of ash by now. I felt like I had been burning for years. My eyes squeezed shut and I ground my teeth together. The fire reached the deepest part of my chest. I could feel it encompassing my heart. The fire getting pumped through and spreading.

I gasped for breath. For some cool air to coat my fried lungs. I was going to be coughing up black dust after this shit. I cried to see if the wetness would cool me down. No deal. I felt something tough my skin to dry the tear. I shook my head violently. 'Don't touch me! Don't anybody touch me!' I screamed in my head. Gasping and screaming. Clinging to hope it would end, but at the same time, begging for the serene release of death.

Just kill me. I was surely not going to survive this burning anyway. Just as I was thinking this, I felt my heart begin to race. Fast. As if it would burst through my chest. My feet and fingers were starting to cool a bit, and that was such a relief. I was praying that my balls would stop burning. Any hair I had on my poor balls was definitely singed off. My dick was another story. It was probably a black, flaky mound of ash now. Burning embers.

R.I.P my glorious dick.

But in all seriousness, this was getting out of hand. I had to be a pile of ashes now. I had been burning for 5 years now by my own clock. I was starting to get pissed off. I needed to get cooled down ASAP.
But I was relieved it was starting to retreat. My hands and feet were cool now. My forearms and calves were beginning to cool as well slowly, but surely. I was feeling the slightest bit stronger. Even my screaming was becoming less. Bella echoed my thoughts.

"He isn't screaming as much. Is it close to being over?" I found myself oddly irritated by her tone. She sounded calm. If I could have, I would have sat straight up and asked 'what the fuck, Bella?' I was a burning ember and she was calm.

"Should be an hour or two at most. It's been three days." A male voice answered.

Who the shit is that?

My body involuntarily twitched, though it had been maybe a year and a half since I had thrashed on my- wait. He said three days. Only three fucking days? Seriously? It had to have been much longer than that. I had been burning for nearly a century. The worst the pain was, the more years I tacked on to how long I wagered this shit had gone on.

It had gone on long enough by my measure. That asshat guy telling Bella 'it's only been three days.' Was going to get his balls shoved up into his body if I ever stopped burning.

"And he will feel rested? He will be okay?" Bella asked. Again with the calm voice.

"He will feel much stronger. Powerful even. As if nothing had happened." I heard the male voice answer. HA! Feel like nothing has happened. That fucker was in for it when I 'woke up'. I was mentally lacing up my ass kicking boots.

I felt small, cold fingers brush against my forehead. If my heart hadn't been beating a trillion beats per minute, I would have guessed it sped up. Bella's fingertips. I knew her hands so well. I adored her small hands. So many day I had just held her hand in mine as we walked through a park or down the street. Or just sitting on her front porch steps. I smiled and hoped she could see it. I felt like my face might crack from it.

Suddenly, I felt a cool, ticklish feeling on my scalp, moving from the top. I could liken it to the feeling of water being poured on you and the feeling it gives when it trickles down. My ears, my forehead, my eyes. They were all becoming cooler. No more heat.

All of the fire felt as if it was being pulled to the center of my body. The cooler my limbs and face felt, the hotter my heart felt. It felt my heart begin to beat faster still.

I curled my lip up over my teeth. A hiss escaped and my body stiffened. A small hand rubbed up and down my forearm. Trying to comfort or sooth. Or maybe even both.

"Very soon." The male voice said.

It had better be soon. My heart was about to combust and I wasn't cleaning up the mess it left.
The heat began to pool faster in my chest. Racing from the outer limits of my body, and racing to my heart. It felt as if my heart exploded. It took off beating faster than anything I've ever heard. It was racing faster, trying to get to the finish line.

My body stiff and my hissing gone, I felt a small shudder. My heart let out a loud beat. Clearly audible for Bella, as she gasped and gripped my arm. My heart beat a few more, sluggish beats. Trying to make it. Trying to reach the finish line.

Glump... Gllllump... Glllllllluuuummmpp... And then silence.

I lay there listening. Waiting for another beat. But nothing came. I had heard of the saying 'be still my heart' and after the racing I had almost begged my heart to stop. But now there was nothing. It was terrifying. My memories of Bella clouded my mind, but were all blurry.

I felt my body relax slightly. My clenched fists releasing their balled state. I inhaled loudly. I could feel the air swirl around inside me. I exhaled, not feeling a need for it. But just feeling like I wanted to.

"Edward?" A small quivering whisper said. I wiggled my fingers experimentally. Arched my foot back at my ankle as if to stretch.

"Edward, sweetie?" Her voice came again.

I opened my eyes. I stared straight up at the ceiling. I could see the intricate detail and the extremely fine cracks. A hand squeezed mine. My eyes moved rapidly over to the feeling. And there she was.
Standing next to my bed, tears streaming down her face. She smiled softly. Her face looked nervous. Her eyebrows pulled together in a scared way. She took a step back.

"No." I whispered and reached for her. She backed up again. I sat up and turned my entire torso in her direction.

"Edward," A hand touched my shoulder and I lurched to my feet. I landed across the room. My back against a wall, palms touching the wall as if I could grab hold of it. I swallowed loudly. Ouch. My throat was still burning. I saw the blonde man looking at me, a small smile on his face.

"I'm Dr. Cullen. You may call me Carlisle. I brought you here." He stood tall and creased his forehead as he spoke.

"You... You did this to me?" I pushed off the wall and leapt to stand right in front of him. He didn't flinch.

"Yes. You would have perished otherwise." He stood with his hands clasped at in front of him at his waste.

I heard a loud gasp come from Bella who was standing by the door. I could feel the tendons in hand flex as my hand balled into a fist. I lifted my tight fist and connected it with my doctors jaw. A loud sound erupted. Like massive rocks ramming into each other. He just stood there looking at me. My hand didn't feel like anything had happened.

I looked at my hand and back at Dr. Cullen's face. His look hadn't changed. He just stood there. I slapped his face, hard nothing. I began slapping both sides one after the other. Ending with a slam to his face that made his neck turn a fraction of an inch. No response.

"We need to get you outside so you can control your thirst. You shouldn't be around Isabella right now." He talked as if I hadn't just bitch slapped him over and over.

As he said the word 'thirst' my throat began to feel as if I had swallow acid. I swallow convulsively. Trying to put the fire out. My hand slammed into the base of my throat, grasping. I looked over at Bella, her eyes wide.

"I love you." She whispered and then ran out of the room. I tried to go after her, but Carlisle gripped my bicep and held me in place.

"Outside, son." He said firmly, pulling my arm. I didn't move. I wanted Bella. He tugged again, with more force. I obeyed, still watching towards the doorway she had disappeared through. I followed Carlisle to the wall, and he opened the window, unlocking it and pushing it out.

"After you." He held a hand outside the window, palm up. I looked out and down. We were on the second floor.

"Are you crazy?" I looked at him, incredulous.

"It's easy. Just jump. You have new instincts. You will land on your feet." He brought his hand back in. His other hand clapped my shoulder. I looked out again. I stepped up and crouched on the window frame. I looked back at the doctor, he smiled reassuring me it was okay.
I jumped.