WARNING: These songs involve swearing, the stories do not, if you don't like swearing simply do not read the italicised words.
& yeah, I listen to rap, and attempted to make useful stories from rap - eh, sue me.
Disclaimer: I don't even own these cartoons and these songs. I'm totally serious.
Play Your Part
"You just want jewellery and all them fuckin' shopping sprees, but that ain't stopping me and I ain't stopping you, see we'll be cool as long as you just play your part."
Curly watched as his raven-haired angel approached down the hallway, designer jewels hanging from her neck. Inwardly he sighed, he was tired of this game.
"Rhonda my love, let me take a lock of your hair." He exclaimed wildly, as she passed by.
Rhonda stopped short, as expected she stared at him with disdain, "Leave me alone, little freak" she hissed.
Curly rolled his eyes as she walked away, slowly he unfolded the note she had shoved into his hands.
Curly, meet me in the janitors closet in 10 minutes. Rhonda xx
He hated playing this game, playing his part in the hallway, but he loved that woman – what could he do?
Hit It On The Road
"Just got to New York, I just got out the plane, shawty know my name, she lookin' at my frames, I'm lookin' at her frame."
Typical, Gerald and Phoebe go away on a road trip and they invite him and Helga to tag along.
How was he to live through the sarcastic comments, the teasing?
More importantly how was he going to live with that body, the long blonde curls, the perfect chest in low-cut tops, that ass?
Phoebe and Gerald tentatively ask if they can spend the night together. That leaves Arnold in a room with Helga.
Great, he'd have to live in a cold shower for this entire trip.
Loving You No More
"Loving you no more, I just I can't, I just can't be loving you no more."
Phoebe gripped her Science text-books, a tear escaping her eyes.
How long had this been going on for? How long had she been dependant on his affections?
Phoebe was a smart girl, she was smarter than following around tall basketball players, putting his happiness before hers.
Had she been stupid to place her faith in him, in the possibility that he could truly love her back, more than he loved a life as a 'player'?
Phoebe's calculations summarised that she could no longer do this, she could not love him anymore.
"I'm in my own zone, it got me throwed off, I break these bitches down, I break these hoes off."
Lila walked slowly into the large dark alley behind HS118, moving toward the thick smoke that filled the air.
Sid eyed her nervously, carefully calculating his fight or flight reflex.
"I want some." Lila demanded.
Sid looked her up and down and lit up a roll for her, "Are you serious?"
Lila snatched the offering from his hand, sitting down beside him, she smirked.
She was serious, she was ever so serious. Lila Sawyer was tired of being good.
Venus vs. Mars
"I hits it from the back, shawty like the front, the Bonnie to my Clyde, both riding shotgun."
Gerald flicked his eyes between his best friend and his girlfriend, consumed in another disagreement.
Everything she was, he was not and nothing seemed to click.
One moment she was poetic, the next abusive while he wavered between optimistic and confused.
Gerald peered at his watch, this had gone on for 14 minutes, it would not last much longer.
Moments later their words subsided as they shared a meaningful kiss.
Helga and Arnold just worked, Gerald had given up trying to figure out why, but whatever they had was so ... right.
"I'm having nightmares from sleeping with the energy, how do we reverse the chemistry? I don't want us to be the end of me, this love is taking all of my energy."
This was just a phase, a long and arduous phase, right?
Arnold's energy was drained.
She was the enemy, mysterious and enigmatic, but she was his tormentor.
What was all this chemistry, the tension he felt and where did the butterflies in the stomach come from?
Nightmares plagued his sleep, the beautiful blonde bully with piercing blue eyes, gorgeous and terrifying.
Helga Pataki, who was she... truly?
I Made It
"I look up to the sky and now the world is mine, I've known it all my life, I made it, I used to dream about the life I'm living now, I know that there's no doubt, I made it."
What had she ever done to deserve this?
Every fantasy, every poem, every word it had all unfolded in front of her.
Her heart beat hard against her rib cage harder by the day.
She was almost scared to move, scared she'd shatter such a perfect daydream.
"It's not a dream Helga" Arnold whispered as he pulled her close.
She had made it, her every dream was reality.
"Call me crazy shit at least you're calling, feels better when you let it out don't it girl, know it's easy to get caught up in the moment, when you say it cause you mad then you take it all back."
Arnold struggled to tear his eyes away from the beauty making her way up the sand from the sparkling blue water.
She lightly ruffled her damp hair as it spilled over her shoulders, dripping down onto that amazing body, dressed in that amazing pink bikini.
Arnold smiled blankly at her, she glared him down.
"Stop smiling." She spat, rolling her eyes, he didn't mind at all – so long as she was talking to him he was happy.
It wasn't long before they were rolling around in the sand making out.
Helga panted above him, dusting the sand from her legs, "Heat of the moment?" she suggested.
Unwillingly he nodded in agreement. Why did this always happen?
Knock You Down
"Won't see it coming when it happens, but when it happens you're gonna feel it, let me tell you now, when love comes and knocks you down."
Love was a strange emotion, it took your breath away and it took your mind with it. Phoebe was intelligent, far too intelligent to let such an emotion take her common sense away. But, every time he walked by, she was floored.
Helga always said you couldn't choose love, it came and it smacked you in the face and it wouldn't go away. Phoebe assumed she was right.
Yet, of everybody to love, why did she have to desire the basketball star, the guy with the entire cheerleading team hanging from him?
It was worth the fall, it was worth the loss of her mind, when he turned to the basketball guys and the cheerleaders behind him, "You guys go without me, I'm gonna kick it with Phoebe today."
"When you're ready just say you're ready, when all the baggage just ain't as heavy and the party's over just don't forget me, we'll change the pace and just go slow, you won't ever have to worry, you won't ever have to hide, you've seen all my mistakes so look me in my eyes."
Nobody knows Helga Pataki like I do, nobody ever has. No matter what they say about her, my mind doesn't change.
I can't deny to myself that I love her, that I care about her but I lie if I'm asked.
I see her push me away, so I give her space. The truth hurts her and her lies heal the fear she holds.
I wish she wouldn't be so afraid, so ashamed, we've all got our secrets – it's not so bad. I watch her run from me, say she hates me, but I see it in her eyes that it's not true.
She hates being alone but she'll never admit she loves me, even though we both know that she does.
When she's ready, she will tell me and I'll be there for her.
One day she won't need to worry, and we won't need to hide.
Helga Pataki, when the time comes, I'll take care of you.
But for now... we're only nine.
My Chick Bad
"She knock a bitch out and fight, come out swinging like Tiger Woods wife, yeah she can get a little hasty."
Sure, at first it was a shock and everybody fell out of their seats and rolled around in disbelief. But now, they just accepted it – nobody continued to appreciate how STRANGEthis was!
Arnold's sitting next to me, giving Sid a pep-talk on doing the right thing, and beginning that extra credit math assignment Mr Simmons handed out. Typical.
Helga's storming around the cafeteria, spewing out cuss words that I don't think any ten year old should know and defiantly tearing up the maths assignment. Typical.
Sid thanks Arnold for his advice and quickly leaves to rectify his aforementioned problems and WHACK over the other side of the cafeteria Harold's lunch tray goes flying as Helga hastily suggests he shut his big fat mouth next time.
Arnold raises his head at the sound of her voice, letting out a dreamy sigh he says, "That's my girl."
I roll my eyes, he's a bold kid... a bold kid.
"Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no broke niggas."
I had heard all sorts of things about her, and what she'd 'accomplished' since high school.
I knew for a fact that she drove around town in sparkling gold Rolls Royce and I knew for a fact she lived in a secluded manor.
I heard she had a child, two or three years old, I'd heard a rumour his father was a prominent designer.
I knew she was single and I knew she'd never been married.
I heard she'd dated a few actors, a few photographers and countless fashion moguls.
I knew her game, she'd been destined for this life since the very moment I'd met her.
Rhonda Wellington Lloyd was a gold digger, but that didn't matter, I still loved her.
Wake Up Go
"Girl you don't need no make up, you can just wake up go, wake up go."
Helga struggled with the strange black pen in her hand, her eyes watering from the torture. She would come back to that later.
She eyed the dangerously hot curling iron and winced as she brought it toward her long locks.
"Please do not burn me." She whispered to the strange beauty utensil.
Helga watched as the freshly curled lock fell over her shoulders, one section down... the entire rest of her head to go. She groaned, this was time consuming.
She glanced at her watch, she had half an hour, and she hadn't even managed to figure out whether foundation or concealer went first.
"What are you doing?" Said a voice behind her.
"Trying to... be a girl." Helga said, glancing at her reflection and deducing that currently she looked much more like a mess than a girl.
Arnold rolled his eyes, "You're already a girl, a beautiful one, you don't need all that weird stuff." he said, placing a kiss on her cheek.
"I'm not loving you the way I wanted to, see I wanna move but can't escape from you, so I keep it low, keep a secret code, so everybody else don't have to know."
Helga loved him, she loved him more than anything or anyone else. Yet, it wasn't for anyone to know, it was her secret and hers alone.
She'd already been forced to reveal her feelings to far too many people and of course she'd made the horrible mistake of shouting it in Arnold's face on the FTI rooftop. Thank goodness she'd been able to label that one as 'heat of the moment' and wriggle herself free from facing the awkward reality of her words.
Helga was not going to let her guard down again. No more alleyway monologues, no more maths book shrines and certainly no more parrots...
But, could she keep her feelings on lockdown forever, or maybe the question was, should she?
Because right now she was sitting in the middle of a dense jungle and he was looking into her eyes with his hand in hers, and it was becoming difficult to feign indifference.
"From the crowd when I take the mile, let me show 'em how, hit the ball on the ground and make 'em get down, batter up."
The ball flew high, narrowly avoiding smacking me right in the face.
"What the hell was that for Pataki?" Gerald interjected on my behalf as I took a moment to recover from the shock.
Helga shrugged, an evil smirk covering her face, "Wouldn't have been a problem if Football Head could actually hit." she spat back at him.
I smiled. Yeah, you heard me, I practically grinned.
Sure, she threw a baseball at my head deliberately, but I wanted nothing more than to chase that girl, tackle her to the ground and make-out with her – right here, right now.
I wasn't actually going to do that though, because I still wasn't sure whether all those things she'd said on that rooftop had been the truth.
"Hey! Earth to hair boy!" Helga said impatiently from the pitchers mound, "You going to step up to the plate anytime this century or should I peg this at your face for real?" she asked.
What a girl.
P.S. I will continue to add to this...