Heyy Guys, this is my first Buffy story. This is based on after Oz Leaves Willow in Season 4 so he can learn to control his wolf stuff

I hope you enjoy :)

Kiimii xxx

I feel so guilty. I never wanted to leave Willow but I knew I had to. I felt so guilty that I left willow completely heart broken and shattered, I also felt guilty that I had sex with Veruca twice though I wasn't myself it was during my wolf form.

The memory of willow's face expression when she saw me laying there naked in the cage next to Veruca haunted me and probably would up forever. I never wanted to hurt Willow, I tried so hard all the time not to hurt her but I ended up hurting her no matter what I did.

I even locked myself three nights a month so I wouldn't hurt anyone, more importantly so I wouldn't hurt her. I love Willow, I have always loved her from the first time I saw her. She was very peculiar and exceedingly shy but none the less completely adorable. She was beautiful, amazing and I would never want her to change.

I kept thinking over her and how things where. I kept thinking over how much I missed her as well as how much I wanted to be with her. I wasn't paying attention to the road as I came back in to realisation I saw someone crossing the road. I tried swerving around young woman centred in the middle of the road.

Instead of swerving around the girl the car flipped over rolling four of five times before stopping. My libs ached as I felt the blood drain to my head. I hung upside down in the car squinting my eyes as I could barely could see. With what vision I had left I looked around the car, there was glass shattered everywhere.

The seat belt hung across me as I tried to pull it off so I could get out of the now upside down car. My arm started pulsing with excruciating pain. "Oww..." I yelled in pain as my arm still was pulsating with pain.

I looked around trying see a way for me to get out, cars flicked past as I still hung upside down in my van trapped by a seat belt. I tried to find a way out but I couldn't I felt my eye lids flicker close as I tried to stay awake. It was hard as keep awake. I felt my eyes lids shut and as I felt myself fall asleep.

It was a spring afternoon on campus willow and I sat on the grass under a tree hugging, and talking as lots of people walked past obviously on their way to classes.

"I'm worried about Buffy, she's been acting off since her and parker you know did it." Willow's eyes glowed with concern. It was cute how she cared so much about her friends, especially Buffy.

I wrapped my arms around her as she sat in front of me. I pulled her close leaning my head on her shoulder. "It's sweet that you care." She smiles as I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Really?" she didn't sound convinced. I placed a soft chaste kiss on her red lips. "Yes, really." I smiles kissing her again. I trailed kisses from her lips to the base of her neck. She moaned quietly, "Don't you think this is a little, you know to open."

"Well maybe a little, we could take this inside. To my bedroom if you like." I smirked, her eyes glowed. She looked exceptionally excited. "Okay." She said shyly. I stood up offering a hand to willow to help her up. She smiled as she grabbed my hand slowly.

She looked beautiful as ever , the sun glowed over her as we walked across campus together , holding each other's hands smiling and looking at each other intently. We finally reached my room. I placed my hand on the knob turning it slowly as the door opened Willow took a few swift steps into my room.

I shut the door behind me as I walked towards Willow. I kissed her gently as placing my hand on her shoulder. She looked up at me smiling looking cutely. I gently pulled down the side of her shirt revelling her shoulder; I placed a soft kiss on it as she closed her eyes and moaned quietly.

"I Love you." I whispered in her ear. She kissed me gently and looked me directly in the eyes "I love you too." She smiled as we began kissing more passionate.

I opened my eyes so a white room surrounded by doctors. "He's awake." one of the doctors yelled. I winced as I tried to move. "This won't hurt a bit. My breathing increased as the doctor held up a huge needle. I was in shock , I couldn't talk as I tried to move to get away from the needle I felt myself beginning to turn under pressure, I growled trying to take control of my breathing. But before I could I felt a sharp pain radiate thought my leg. My eyes flickered shut as I fell unconscious again.

I woke again to the sound of Willows deep whimpers. "OZ!" she screamed as she jumped on to the bed hugging me tightly and kissing me intently. "Willow." I smiled as I saw her beautiful face. She her head on my shoulder hugging me tightly.

"Oww…" I winced as she tightened her grip around my ribs. "Oh sorry." She frowned. "It's okay." She stuttered as she began to cry. I lifter my hand gently caressing her face gently. "Heyy, don't cry."

I was trying not to cry, I felt the pressure behind my eyes signalling that I wanted to cry. But I wasn't going to cry. I begged myself not cry. She sniffed; I wiped the tears that were running down the side of her cheek.

"I thought I'd lost you." tears kept running down her face. She just kept crying. and crying." hey, hey I'm not going anywhere and don't you forget that." I smiled as I lifter her head back gently placing a kiss on the base of her neck.

"Okay." She smiled as she placed her head back on my chest and cuddled me tightly. "I love you." I whispered, I knew she was smiling. "I love you too." Her voice was beautiful and calm. I was going to miss it. I ran my fingers thought her hair tangling her hair between my fingers.

My eye lids flicker shut, as I felt myself leaving. Leaving her and every one I cared about. The black glowed, the light got bigger and bigger with each time my eyes flickered shut. I placed a kiss on her hair, my eye lids shut and the machines began beeping.

I watched her crying and begging me to come back. She screamed crying and pleading as she continuously shook my body in hope to regain my consciousness. "You can't go I love you! Please you can't leave me."

She whimpered as she placed a kiss on my cold move less lips. "Please come back to me, don't leave me." She cried into my chest. Before being carried off the bed to doctors could have access to my body.

"I love you and I'm sorry." I whispered full well knowing that no one, absolutely no one at all could hear me. Not now, not ever.