Heyy Guys, this is based on the episode in season 4 where Spike has retunred to Sunnydal. The script side of this sory is not mine i technically don't own this story I just wote a P.O.V of what i think buffy was thinking at this time

Hope you enjoy :)

Kiimii xxx

I had been invited to a party with Parker. He was cute; he had black hair and dark brown eyes. For some reason the way he looked reminded me of Angel.

I have missed Angel since he moved to LA. I have missed him so much, when he first moved away I resented the idea. I resented it so much and to this very day I still do.

I love Angel and I miss him dearly but if I had a wish it would be to see him again. Just one last time, but I know that's hard with both of our life styles, changing and for others getting worse by the minute.

I smiled as Parker asked if I wanted to dance. I rejected the thought as I loved sitting down and having meaningful chats with Parker. Whenever we had a chat I looked deep into his eye, his eyes held to much anguish and love as he spoke of his father passing and other adventurous tails about his exceedingly eventful life.

When he asked about mine I didn't lie but I surely couldn't fill him on about the full details of my life and how I have to slay Demon and Vampires because I'm a slayer. He would think I am nuts and recommend that I see a physiologist or even a councillor.

I smiled up at him as we walked through the crowd smiling and laughing whilst being caught up in a conversation until I bumped into Spike and Harmony with a guy. The guy looked drunk as hell and unaware of his surroundings, especially to the fact he had to vampires leading him out of a party for nothing other than 'supper'.

"Spike" I was surprised as hell to see him at the party, I had heard recently that he was back in town but I had no Idea I would see him in a college party let alone with harmony by his apparently charming side.

"Harmony" I stated bleakly still stunned at what I was seeing, it surely had taken me by surprise. Harmony's eyes lit up with concern, she looked exceptionally worried.

"Buffy, hi! What a cute outfit, last year "she smiles. I could tell it was fake, but she was oblivious to know that I knew otherwise. She shifted clearly uncomfortable being stopped in her tracks , causing her to have to wait for her 'supper' even longer than planned.

"Well isn't this interesting this is Uhhh… sort of a double date." Spike smirked, but I could tell there was a another emotion his behind his eyes as he gazed at me.

Parker stood confused and uncomfortably beside me. I think Spike was intimidating him. "Looks like your friends the party a little too early." Parker smiled trying to start a conversation as he was clearly unaware of whom, and what spike was capable of.

Spike still looking amused smirked as gazed at parker trying to read him by his body language. Which might I add wasn't going to get him information he needed.

"Hey, I'm Parker" Parker held his hand out expecting Spike to shake it. But along with many things Spike didn't do that , he just looked down at it as if he was about to step on a bug he stood there watching it before standing on it.

"I like him, he's got what's the word –"spike stopped trying to fund the word. A hard line across his cheek was now visible. "Vulnerability." I could no longer keep my smart ass mouthed comments to myself anymore.

"And you with Harmony, what did you lose a bet?" I knew that he hadn't that he was only using her. Spike never actually kept someone by his side because he cared about them, or if he did his judgment to want to use and abuse took over. His rational side of his somewhat still working brain didn't see the difference between caring for someone and just using them.

"Heyy." Harmony looked like she had just imagined me stabbing her repeatedly. She still lay helpless on the ground crying and whimpering for me to stop. It was actually quite amusing but then I would have to say that harmony is funny, which believe me she isn't at all.

"Actually how we met is a funny story actually." Spikes eyes darted towards Harmony's and before I could blink Harmony and Spike had left. "Stay here." I squealed at Parker. I would never forgive myself if Parker got hurt, let alone allowing him to find out anymore that he already knows of my personal life and details.

I ran after them, i pushed past people yelling get out of the way and before I could get outside a flush of sorrow washed over me. For some reason my heart started beating fast as the thought of spike files my mind. I eventually made my way out side but by the time I got there they had fled the pace, they were out f site.

Stop this right now buffy! You have gone on a date with Parker stop thinking about Spike.

I kept telling myself over and over again as I slowly made my way back to Parker. I didn't understand why my heart started beating fast of why I suddenly feel depressed that he has gone. I remembered a flush of excitement went through me when I saw spike. I was confused I didn't understand why I was having feeling towards spike. I knew I loved him but I wasn't prepared to accept it.

I wasn't going to. He was evil, pure evil. He didn't care what other thought or the way others feel. He only cared what might happen to him and whatever devious plans he has up his sleeve.